Mystic Mountains
Page 29
Tiger felt a pang of jealousy, and briefly wondered at it.
"She's perfect, Tiger." Her nose wrinkled. "But the poor little wretch looks too much like her father. Take her and bathe her now, Agnes. Then wrap her in the cloth afore she catches chill. And be careful, mind."
"I will, missus. I'll treat her as gentle as a kitten," Agnes purred, taking the small mite and cooing to her.
Later, Tiger took the afterbirth away. When he came back he changed the bed linen, then rubbed Isabella's belly to ease the bleeding.
"Comfortable?" he asked, glancing about to see if he'd put everything in order. "Is there any more I need to do?"
"Just hand me my baby," Isabella said, as he plumped two pillows behind her back.
"Here, Agnes, I'll take her now." He took the tiny swaddled babe carefully, kissing his daughter's sweet-smelling head. He couldn't hold back a joyful grin. "You can go and make your mistress some tea now, Agnes."
The girl seemed to have recovered from her nervousness. Nodding vigorously, she went out, her plain face split by a smile.
"What will you call her?" Tiger asked later as he avidly watched the baby suckling at Isabella's breast.
"Thelma's middle name was Annie. Poor Thelma always wanted a baby of her own and told me once she'd call her daughter Annie if she had one. I thought I'd call her that. What do you think?"
"Do you really care what I think about it? That'd be about the first time you've asked my thoughts about anything in a long time." He grinned as he said the words, softening the scolding. His insides melted as he touched the baby's fist where it lay on her breast.
"I consider you did your share in making her and helping with the birthing, so you should have some say in naming her." She kept her eyes on the suckling baby.
"Thelma would like that, and I think it's a grand name." Tiger swallowed against the tide of feelings engulfing him. Jesus, he was shaking like a callow youth.
"Then Annie it is." She nodded, her eyelids drooping. "We'll have to wait to get her baptized by the priest when next he comes to Bathurst."
"We could get him to marry us while we're at it." Tiger didn't know which of them was more surprised by the sudden announcement. Her eyes sprung open and she stared at him, open mouthed. Tiger rubbed his chin, waiting.
"You don't want to marry me, Tiger." Her soft mouth twisted wryly. "What about all those plans of yours, eh?"
Tiger sat carefully on the bed. Gently he stroked his daughter's satiny cheek, still awed by her beauty. "In case you've forgotten, I gave up those stupid plans long ago. The fair misses of Sydney baulked at the idea of coming into the wilderness with me. Not that I particularly wanted any of them. 'Twas a vain and stupid idea anyway, discarded almost as soon as it was born."
"It would have saved a lot of heartache all round if you'd felt this way long ago." Isabella put her daughter to her other breast, sighing as she settled her. "'Tis too late now."
"I don't believe that."
"Of course you don't. Tiger Carstairs doesn't think on things at all." She pushed at his forearm. "You only thought of marrying me because you're feeling all soft after the baby's birth. Believe me, it does strange things to you, having a baby."
She smiled, looking down at the infant rapturously engaged in its first meal. "You'd want to take the first woman you lusted after to bed when you got to town." She sucked in her bottom lip and began to nibble it.
Reaching over, he put a finger on her mouth, halting the movement. "Have I looked at another woman since we left Sydney?" he asked softly.
"Ha. Likely that's because apart from Thelma, Agnes and Lily I was the only one there was to look at. You don't really want me." She put the baby to her shoulder, patting her back gently. The smile she gave him was tinged with sadness.
He shook his head. "You're wrong, Bella. I've not wanted anyone else in a long time. I realized what a foolish mistake I'd made almost as soon as I'd done it, but pride does funny things to men. I burned with jealousy when I knew Dougal was sharing your bed, and when I knew you weren't allowing him his privileges any more I was wickedly pleased. I told you before, you're my woman. And believe it or not I'm your man. I don't deserve your love for the things I said to you. But I gave up long ago thinking of you as a harlot. When I thought about it sensible and wasn't driven by jealousy I realized deep down you weren't the sort of woman who would go with men for money. And like it or not, you're tied to me in some way, same as I am to you."
"That may be the case, but still I can't marry you. You'd soon get tired of me. I'm plain and ordinary. You need a woman who can excite you."
"You excite me more than I can say, Bella." Taking the hand not holding the baby he twined his fingers through hers. "I don't think you have a notion of how you affect me, do you? For all you've been married and borne children you're still innocent of the ways and feelings of men. Do you know why Dougal was so ill-tempered and sour towards the end? He was burning up with his desire for you. It was killing him inside to be spurned by you, to see you cared nothing for him, yet he still worshipped you."
Isabella shook her head, but he went on, "I'm not about to say this again, but hear me, and understand this. I want you in the most basic way a man can want a woman, 'tis sure, but the feelings I have for you go much deeper. When I saw you on the dock all those years ago something inside me was drawn to you. You had a bruised and sallow face and were as scrawny as a starved kitten, yet I felt a tug in my gut I'd never felt before. Call it what you will, but 'tis there and will not go away. So, like it or not, you'll marry me as soon as the priest gets here."
His words were said low, with a definite edge. Isabella's heart beat so fast she thought it might bounce out of her chest. The baby brought up some wind and she patted her back, her eyes on Tiger as he got up and strode to the door.
He turned and nodded, as if the matter was closed.
"Don't you dictate to me, Tiger Carstairs," she cried as he went out.
The baby whimpered, and Isabella crooned as she patted her daughter's back. "I'll not wed the damned Englishman," she muttered, kissing their newborn's cheek. "How can I believe him?"
Chapter Thirty Three
September 1824
"Tiger'll be as mad as a pig with a bee on its nose, Bella."
Isabella bit her lower lip. "Don't I know it, Gillie. But I have to go. Tiger must learn that he doesn't own me anymore. I warned him I would be going as soon as I was well enough. He took it for granted I'd stay when he said a few sweet words. How can a few words make up for all the heartache he's brought me over the years?"
Gillie sucked on his pipe, his eyes grave as he stared hard at her. "Oh girl, if only Thelma were here. She'd talk some sense into you. You can't go off into the wilderness alone. 'Tis foolish and you know it. Who will take care of you?"
"Johnny's decided to come along. And Agnes, Tim and I will sleep in tents until we get a shack built. I must go, 'tis time I stood on my own feet. I'm more than capable of looking after myself. Even if Tiger does think we all depend on him for our existence. I've found out we aren't as cut off out here as I first thought. Elizabeth Hawkins is near enough to visit. She said I can call on her any time I need help. When she visited with her mother and her four girls she said I only had to let her know and her eldest boy would come to help."
"A boy in his 'teens? You're mad. How can you think of taking a two-month-old baby off like this? Away from help." Gillie swore softly beneath his breath, a rare occurrence for him.
"What you mean, Gillie, is how can I think on taking Tim and the baby away from Tiger. Well, this is something I have to do. I need to set out on my own. Need to make a life for us on our own property."
Gillie muttered a string of words she couldn't understand. "This is no place for a woman to be on her own. You need more protection than Johnny can give you. Blast it, if I could leave the sheep I would come along with you if you insist on going ahead with this foolishness."
"Why is it that a man can go off on
his own and he's thought courageous, but a woman is considered stupid when she does the same thing, I'd like to know?"
"The difference is, you're thinking of going with a babe and a lad barely out of his toddling. Agnes is featherbrained and Johnny's not the brightest."
"You don't need brains to till the land and plant a few vegetables."
"You'd best take a decent cow if you're dead set on this, Bella. But let me tell you I think you're doing the most foolish thing you've ever done."
"Aye, Gillie. And I've done some foolish things in my time. Having two babies by Tiger amongst the most idiotic."
She gazed down at Annie, asleep in her crib. She wouldn't change one hair on her head, or on Tim's, but that didn't alter the fact that lying with Tiger was probably the stupidest mistake she'd ever made.
"And to wait until he's gone off to town. He'll be after you as soon as he finds out. He'll fetch you back. If you're still alive after this foolishness."
"Tell him not to bother chasing after me, Gillie. It'll do no good. My mind is made up."
* * *
Isabella shivered with fear, but no one would know how scared she felt. Was she a fool for setting off into the unknown like this? Was she mad to take a wee babe? No, it would be sillier to stay and be Tiger's kept woman.
"'Tis awful far from the master's camp, missus," Agnes whined, as she came to stand beside Isabella on the knoll overlooking the river. "We could still make it back afore nightfall if we left now."
"Left now? Good heavens, Agnes, we're not going anywhere. This is our home and this is where we'll stay. And stop your whining. 'Tis bad enough listening to Tim carrying on all the time without having to put up with you. Right, let's get the tent up and then a fire started. Johnny, you go and fill the water jugs and we'll unpack."
Isabella turned to the wagon. She'd done what Tiger warned her not to do; taken a horse. But she'd only borrowed it for pulling the wagon, which she'd also borrowed. She would get Johnny to return both once everything was unpacked. She would not be beholden to Tiger for anything. It worried her slightly just how they would get to the commissariat when the need arose, but she would cross that particular bridge when she came to it.
* * *
Tiger pulled himself out of the river, striding to where he'd left his clothes. Shivering, he quickly dried himself on a strip of linen. The river was flowing fast and the water had been freezing, but invigorating. He pushed his hair back and rubbed it a few times, then bent to pull on his boots.
Damn the woman to hell and back.
She'd done it again. Left him without so much as a word. He'd kill her one day.
He hadn't been able to believe it when he'd come back from Sydney. Gillie came racing across to him, waving his hat on high. "What is it? What's the problem, Gillie? Don't tell me we have more to worry about than that little hell cat going off with my children."
"'Tis Jones, Tiger, he's missing."
Since Thelma's passing Gillie hadn’t been the same man; this was the liveliest he'd been in weeks.
"Missing?" Jones had followed Isabella, he just knew it. Tiger went cold at the thought. "Get someone to saddle Satan," he ordered as he pulled his clothes on hurriedly.
Jones was a maniac when he had a belly full of rum. He'd managed to get into the store one day and thrown a fit, threatening to kill anyone who came near. And Tiger warned Gillie to keep a close watch on him while he was away; he didn't like the way Jones followed Bella's every move with eyes that spoke clearly of lust. A man who couldn't control his lustful urges in a community of few women was bad enough, but a drunken man with those urges was a menace.
Tiger groaned. The man had been causing more trouble than he was worth. "I'll send him back to Sydney. Let's see if a few days on the treadmill will sort him out. Some men don't know when they're well off, and that's a fact."
Tiger thrust his pistol down his belt and followed Gillie to the group of huts where the men lived, the freemen alongside the convicts.
"How long has he been gone?" Tiger asked one of the laborers loitering nearby like a clutch of scared hens.
"Not long. Seems he has some grudge he wants to settle with you, Tiger. He was ranting on about it last evening. With some men their feelings only come forth when they're well into their cups."
"Where the hell did he get hold of the rum? Hunt," Tiger yelled, and the man in charge of distributing rations to the men came forward.
"He stole it, boss. I'm sorry." Hunt shrugged and looked at his dusty boots, then over Tiger's head. "Must have broken in while we were all at the river."
Tiger swore. It was an easy enough task to break the doors down, but none of the other men showed any inclination to go against the rules set by Tiger. They had given him a certain grudging respect since settling here, although one or two of the men grumbled at the minimal chance of getting a woman of their own here where the few women were out of bounds to them.
* * *
Placing Annie in her crib beside the tent Isabella dropped with a sigh onto the sawn-off log that served for a chair. "There, my currency lass, you have a nap," she told Annie softly, swatting at a flying insect with a clump of grass.
"Why do you call our Annie a Currency Lass, Mama?" Tim wondered, coming to stand near her.
Isabella smiled at her blond boy child, the pride and joy of her life. And of his father's. A sharp ache ran through her each time she allowed her thoughts to dwell on Tiger. What would he say when he found her gone? If she knew anything he would likely say good riddance. But he would not so easily say the same for his son.
"Well now, that's what the boys and girls born here in Australia are called, it seems. And those born in England are called Sterling. 'Tis just a bit of nonsense thought up by some pay officer in the army, I heard. He was being smart—the currency pound at the time was inferior to the Sterling pound. But we both know you and our Annie are far superior to those born in the mother country, don't we eh?"
Tim nodded, his gold flecked eyes narrowing thoughtfully. "Why do we call Sydney Town Australia now, Mama?"
"I explained that all before, Tim." She sighed on a smile. "'Tis the whole of the land is called Australia, not just Sydney and out here where we live. 'Twas thought up by the government because the colony's growing fast and those in power reckoned we needed a name for the entire continent."
"What's a continent?"
"I told you, Tim. We're on an island here, only this land is much bigger than any other island so it's called a continent. Go read about it in your books."
"Do you think Tiger's back?" he asked, his eyes growing wistful as he patted the dog at his side. "Why did we have to come out here?" he whined. "I want to be back at camp when he gets there."
Isabella bit her lip, shielding her eyes to look off to the hazy mountains in the distance. She would never admit it to anyone but she missed the tall golden man so much it was as if a part of her own body had been taken away from her.
"I told you why we came here, Tim. This is your land; yours and Annie's. One day it will be worth a lot of money, and you'll be rich."
Tiger had said he would be gone a month or more, depending on how long it took him to get all the provisions and supplies needed for the house he was building; how long to hire the laborers required for the work.
"I miss him, Mama." Tim scuffed his toe in the soil moodily.
Tim missed him. Ye Gods, she never would have dreamed she would miss him this much; as if a part of her had been severed. Lord, was it always to be like this? This longing to see his beloved face. Was she forever cursed to lie in her bed each night longing for the gratification only his body could provide; long for his touch and his kisses? He was like some disease she couldn't shake off.
Any number of awful things could have happened to him, out there in the mountains where it was like another world; a world where men changed.
"Do you think he'll fetch us back something special, Mama?" Tim brightened, interrupting her feverish thoughts.
"Ugh!" Tim stuck out his tongue and made a rude noise. "What do I need to learn letters for?"
"Don't you wish to be as clever as Tiger one day? Unless you learn to read, write and count you won't know if you're being cheated, and you'll not get rich like him."
Tim grinned impishly. "Aye, I'll be as clever as him, Mama, for certain. Then I'll look after you when Tiger's not here."
"I know that, son, I can depend on you." Isabella reached out to touch his cheek, then caught sight of a movement far off over the meadows. She stood up, taking Tim's hand. A man was coming towards their camp. He stopped to speak to Johnny, working on the small plot where they had a vegetable garden started.
"Who is it, Mama?" Tim tugged on her skirt when she let out a gasp. The newcomer had bashed Johnny on the jaw with the pistol he carried.
Isabella went cold as she recognized Johnny's assailant. Jones! Sweet heavens, what was he doing here? She hated the man. Reaching for the pistol Gillie insisted she bring with her, she aimed it at Jones' head.
"Agnes, come here," she called to the girl, who was stirring a pot of soup over the fire.
"Aye, missus, what's up?" Agnes saw their visitor, saw Johnny lying on the ground. "Aw, missus, what's he done to Johnny? Shall I go and help him?"
"No, stay with us," Isabella ordered, putting a hand on Tim's shoulder as Jones neared. The hand that held her weapon trembled. Lord, would she be able to use the thing if she had to? "What do you want?" she asked. Stupid question, for it was clear he was up to no good.
She glanced over to see that Johnny had scrambled to his feet and was advancing on Jones, a shovel held high, ready for attack.
"Now then, girlie, put yer weapon down. Or the girl gets it," Jones snarled, pointing his pistol at Agnes' head. Agnes screamed and Isabella's hand wavered.