White Lines

by Tracy Brown

  “Why do you love that movie?” His face was contorted, as if he was really puzzled by this.

  She laughed again. “Grease is about two people from opposite sides of the tracks who fall in love. And in the end, they’re both willing to change so that they can be together. That’s a beautiful story, right?” She smiled.

  Born sighed, exasperated. “Next time, I’m picking the movie.” Jada laughed, and sang along quietly with the Anita Baker song playing on the radio. He glanced at her from time to time as he drove, still amazed by her beautiful facial features and her glowing light brown skin. She seemed a little less edgy than she was the first time. “I don’t think me and you are from opposite sides of the tracks, though.” He said it as he turned down Forest Avenue.

  Jada looked at him. “No? You think you come from the same type of shit as me?”

  He nodded. “I know I do. You told me that your sister was in trouble, and she tried to kill herself. You said you been on your own since sixteen, been through all kinds of shit, seen all kinds of shit. So that says it all right there. I’ve been through my share of bullshit, too.” He looked at her as they stopped at a red light. “I think we have more in common than you think.”

  Jada shrugged her shoulders. “Maybe we’re not from opposite sides of the tracks,” she said. “But you can still enjoy Grease Γ

  Born laughed as he turned into his building’s parking lot and found his usual space. He parked his beloved automobile, and then he and Jada headed for his place. When they got inside the lobby, Born pressed the button for the elevator, and looked at Jada from head to toe. She noticed his scrutiny, and she frowned. “Don’t do that,” she said.

  He smiled, innocently. “Don’t do what?”

  “Don’t look at women like that. We don’t like it.” Jada boarded the elevator when the doors opened. Born followed her, his eyes glued to her ass.

  “How did I look at you?” he asked. “I didn’t mean no harm.”

  Jada rolled her eyes, though she wasn’t really as annoyed as she pretended to be. “You know what look I’m talking about. Men have a way of looking at a woman and making her feel naked. Don’t do that, please.”

  The elevator doors opened, and Born smiled facetiously. “So, you don’t like being naked?” he asked.

  Jada shook her head and laughed at his joke as she followed him down the hallway to his apartment. She found it in the same condition as the last time she’d been there, except this time there was a razor blade, a plate, and a digital scale sitting on the table. She quickly surmised what he had been doing before he came to pick her up. Finding a comfortable place on his couch, Jada sat while Born went to the kitchen to retrieve snacks for the movie. He came back and placed the popcorn, pretzels, potato chips, two glasses, and a two-liter bottle of soda on the table. Born sat close beside Jada and looked at her. But this time when he looked at her, Jada didn’t feel like he was undressing her with his eyes.

  His eyes looked serious. They seemed intense. Again, she wondered why he looked at her like that.

  “I like you,” he said. “I don’t know what it is about you, but I like you.” Jada held his gaze, feeling her pulse quicken, strangely. Born nodded his head. “I must like you a whole lot, because I can’t believe that I’m about to watch Grease.”

  Jada laughed. The ice had been broken. Born stood up and put the tape into the VCR, and then sat back down on the sofa. For the next couple of hours he found himself enjoying the antics of the crew from Rydell High. Jada knew the words to all of the songs, and Born watched her enjoy the movie. When it was over, Born went to the kitchen and got a beer out of the refrigerator. He offered Jada one, and she accepted. Plopping down beside her, he handed her the Heineken, and took a long swig of his own.

  “See? That wasn’t so bad, right?” Jada asked. “I could tell you liked the movie, so don’t try to front like you didn’t.”

  Born smiled, showing the dimples Jada loved so much. His pager went off, and Born glanced at it. Recognizing the number, he quickly grabbed the phone, and had a very animated conversation as Jada listened.

  “What the fuck! Yo, why y’all niggas ain’t call me as soon as you got the shit?”

  Jada listened closely.

  “So who got it now? Yo Mike! Don’t let them niggas give my shit to nobody else! I told them that I wanted first crack at it. Aiight!” Born hung up the phone and rubbed his head, as if the conversation had stressed him out.

  “What’s the matter?” Jada asked. “You want to call it a night? I can come back another time.”

  Born shook his head. The last thing he wanted was for their time together to end so soon. He grabbed his car keys off of the table. “Nah, I don’t want to call it a night. Can you wait here for me for a little while?”

  Jada looked around the cluttered apartment and felt uncomfortable at the thought of being in his place by herself, although she was flattered that he trusted her to stay there alone. “Can’t I come with you?” she asked. “Where do you have to go?”

  Born looked at her as if he was trying to figure out if he should bring her along. “I gotta drop off something to my boys.”

  Jada nodded and stood up. “I’ll come with you, then,” she said. “How bad could it be?”

  They proceeded downstairs and hopped back into Born’s car. He drove to York Avenue, where he turned and pulled up in front of a rundown shanty with boards on its windows. Jada looked at him inquisitively, and he smiled. “You said you’re from the streets, right? So come on. This shouldn’t be nothing.”

  Jada climbed out of the car and followed Born to the run-down house. He didn’t climb the collapsing steps. Instead, he led her through the knee-high grass to a side door. He knocked on the door five times in quick succession, paused, and then knocked twice more. Then the door swung open, and Born entered the seemingly abandoned house. Jada was right behind him.

  They walked into what looked to Jada like a dark dungeon. Born greeted two young men who stood silently by the heavy door just inside the entrance. Both of these guys met Born with a warm reception, and neither one said a word to Jada. After talking to Born and indulging in a brief conversation, they separated to allow passage to him and his guest. Both of the young soldiers took in Jada’s neatly voluptuous appearance, but neither spoke to her directly. Born offered no introduction as he ushered Jada past them, and into the confines of the darkened house. She saw more young men who looked to be about Born’s age sitting around on old battered sofas spread throughout the spacious front room. There was money stacked on a table that had one of its legs missing, and Jada knew immediately that these men were up to some type of illegal activity. They stood and greeted Born when he walked in, each of them receiving him with enthusiasm and smiles.

  Born seemed to fit right in among these strangers, and Jada felt like an outsider in their midst. After a lengthy exchange with the fellas, Born introduced Jada to the room. “This is Jada, everybody. Get used to her face. You’ll be seeing it a lot more often from now on.”

  Jada didn’t know what to make of Born’s comment, so she simply smiled awkwardly, and waved at all of them. “What’s up, everybody?” she said.

  One of them—a tall, light-skinned brother with slanted eyes and a thin mustache—stood up and put both of his hands in the pockets of his jeans. Born turned to Jada and said, “I’ll be right back. Wait out here for a minute.” Born and the light-skinned man walked down a short hallway and into an adjoining room. They shut the door behind them, and Jada was left standing in a room with five men she didn’t know. All kinds of thoughts ran through her mind, and she wondered if this was a setup. Would they gang-rape her? And if they did, who would believe her? She didn’t know Born from a hole in the wall. And like a stupid little schoolgirl, she had followed him into an abandoned house full of young thugs. She tried not to panic.

  “So, Jada, how long you been Born’s girl?” one baby-faced stranger asked her.

  She shrugged her shoulders, and shook off he
r paranoia. “I wouldn’t say I’m his girl. I just met him. He seems like a nice guy, though.”

  The guy laughed and slapped his cohort playfully on the arm. “I knew this nigga couldn’t have a girl this fine.” The cohort didn’t laugh, but only shook his head at his friend’s theatrics.

  “So you met him on some hustling shit, or what?” This clown was irritating Jada with his questions. He walked over to her. “You know, real recognize real, so I can tell you got a little hood in you.” He sized her up, lustfully.

  “Nah.” Jada shook her head, chewing her gum. “You don’t know me, so you couldn’t possibly know what I got in me.”

  The baby-faced clown grinned at Jada and fiddled with the toothpick in his mouth. “I like you, shorty. Word up. Got a little spunk to ya. That’s kinda nice. You got a sister or something, ‘cause I’m trying to make it happen?”

  “Nigga, if you don’t get out her face, I’ll embarrass you in here.” Born emerged, carrying a large dark blue duffel bag, with the light-skinned man right beside him. The expression on his face was dead serious. “Don’t get fucked up, Jamari.” Born looked at Jada, and his gaze softened a little. “Jada, don’t talk to strangers, baby girl.”

  Jamari looked at Born and held his hands up, defensively. “I was just playing, son. I was only messing with shorty.”

  Born stared Jamari down, and the light-skinned guy he had gone to the back room with stepped in to break the tension. “Yo, Born, holla at me later on.” He gave Born a pound, and steered him toward the door. Jamari stood there, as if he had no idea why Born was upset. Jada watched Born gather his composure and turn away from Jamari. She said nothing as Born said his good-byes to all the men in the room. She followed Born to the door, and the young soldiers held it open. They left without any further conversation, and climbed back into Born’s car. He was silent, and she couldn’t tell whether or not he was still upset about his confrontation with the guy inside the house. Jada didn’t question it, and she buckled her seat belt. When he drove away, Jada turned to him, and asked, “What’s in the bag?”

  Born looked at her sideways, and then nodded toward the bag sitting on the backseat. “Tools.”

  “What are all those tools for?” Jada sat wide-eyed, staring at the large gym bag filled to capacity with something heavy.

  Born shrugged. “A couple of them are for me and my niggas. But most of them shits is for sale, knawmean?”

  She looked at him, knowing full well what kinds of tools were contained in that gym bag. Guns. Jada sat, wondering who this man was and if it was safe to be with him after all. He seemed to read her mind, and he said, reassuringly, “Don’t worry. You didn’t give me a reason to hurt you yet. You don’t have to get nervous.”

  Jada smiled, uneasily. “So what if I was a cop?” she asked. “What if I whipped out my badge right now?”

  Born looked at her, then turned his attention back to the road. “You ain’t a cop,” he said. “But if you were, I would kill you. It’s that simple.”

  Jada believed him. But strangely, she wasn’t afraid. She looked at him again, and said, “So you’re a gunrunner? Is that all?”

  Born glanced at her out of the corner of his eye. “I do a little bit of this and a little bit of that.”

  Jada’s gaze remained fixed on Born’s face. “You sell drugs, Born?”

  He looked at her, then returned his focus to the road ahead. “Drugs sell themselves,” he said. Then he turned up the radio, and no further conversation took place until they pulled up in front of 55 Holland Avenue.

  Born got out of the car and greeted a young man dressed in an oversized black T-shirt and jeans standing at the side of the building. Born reached inside the car, and passed the bag to the young stranger, with only small talk between them. He climbed back into the car, and the stranger headed back into the building. Jada took it all in, and sat silently as Born drove away.

  He pulled up in front of a row of town houses, and got out of the car once more. “Come on,” he said.

  Jada followed him as he headed through a courtyard to an area where residents milled around and kids played tag. A tall, older black man, who looked old enough to be Born’s father, headed toward them, walking with a very determined stride. Born broke out in laughter.

  “Look at you, Moe Black! Where you goin’, nigga? ‘Cause you walkin’ tall and looking straight!” Even old Moe Black had to laugh at Born’s sarcasm. Moe was usually as high as a kite, so for Born to see him looking so sober was surprising. “Only thing missing is a big stick, Black. Walk tall and carry a big muthafuckin’ stick!” Black, still laughing, gave Born five. Jada laughed at Born’s sense of humor. He explained to Jada that Moe Black was once one of his father’s cronies. “My father loved this nigga like a brother. So Black is like family to me.”

  As if on cue, Black chimed in, “Yo, I need one, Born. But I’m a little short.”

  “How you short now and you owe me from last time, too?” Born asked, in amazement.

  “I know—”

  “What do you know?”

  “Yo, Born, I ain’t got it, man. I’m waiting for my wife to get back from bingo. She ain’t home yet.”

  “Every time you get ready to give me my money, your wife ain’t get home yet.”

  “I’ma have your money.”

  “When?”

  “Probably Sunday.”

  “Probably Sunday?”

  “Sunday, man. I’ll give it to you at the? A meeting they have in your mother’s building.”

  Born roared in laughter and looked at Jada. “You hear this shit? He gonna pay me for drugs at the Narcotics Anonymous meeting!” Born was in hysterics. Jada laughed uneasily, as well as at the irony in the situation. Inside, she cried for that old man, knowing how thirsty he was for a hit of that pipe. She knew all too well what that was like. Moe Black, meanwhile, waved off Born’s mockery and pressed for what he needed. “Come on, Born.”

  “How much you got now?”

  Black rummaged through his pockets, and came out with a bunch of bills and some change. “Seven dollars and ninety cents.”

  Born shook his head. “Seven dollars and ninety cents.” His tone was very matter-of-fact. He looked at Jada once more. “See what I go through?” Jada smiled outwardly, but if Born had taken a moment to look closer, he may have seen the torment in her eyes. Jada remembered feeling what that fiend was feeling. Remembered what it was like when she just needed that high.

  Born’s mind was playing tricks on him. As he looked at Moe Black, he saw his father. Black had been a very good friend of Leo’s, and Born saw the similarities between them. It seemed as though history was almost repeating itself, except now it wasn’t Leo Graham playing the part of the fiend. It was Moe Black, his right-hand man. Born always looked out for Black for that very reason. Even if Black didn’t have all the money, as was the case this evening, Born still gave him what he needed. He had love for Moe Black. He had a soft spot for this man who reminded him of his father. He made the exchange with Black and walked away with Jada by his side. She wondered what she should make of all that she was witnessing.

  Before she could give it much thought, they approached a bench, where two guys were sitting beside a very masculine-looking girl. Born greeted every one of them with a pound, and then introduced Jada once again.

  “Jada, this is my nigga Smitty.” Born pointed to a stocky brown-skinned brother with a Woolrich jacket on. “This is my man Martin.” Jada greeted the lanky, ruthless-looking man with a permanent scowl on his face. “And this is Pat. She works with them.”

  Jada said hello to everyone, and listened as Born filled them in on the new package he’d picked up. “1 gave the shit to Chance, and he’s bringing them upstairs to the spot. I made sure y’all got everything you paid for. Plus, I threw a li’l somethin’ extra in there for you, knawmean? Let me know if somebody else needs that, or whatever, and I’ll get it to you. Ain’t nobody else out here gonna give niggas shit that clean for prices tha
t low. So fuck with me.” Born talked to them for a few more brief minutes, and then he and Jada made their way back to his car. Born opened the passenger door for her, and held it until she climbed inside. Then he got into the car and drove off, glancing at Jada. They reached a stop sign.

  “So, now what?” Born asked. “Cat got your tongue?”

  “No. I’m just trying to digest all this, that’s all.”

  Born laughed. “But I thought you was gangsta. You’re from the streets. What’s the problem?”

  Jada scowled. “I never said I was a criminal. I just said that I was from the streets.” She stared out of her passenger-side window. “You can drop me back off at my friend’s house now.”

  “I can,” Born said it warmly. “But I don’t want to. Not yet.”

  Jada continued staring out of the window, wondering why she was wasting her time with this guy. She had thought he might be someone she’d want to get to know. But suddenly he was starting to seem as if he expected her to be in awe of his lifestyle. Jada found some things about Born that she admired—his take-charge demeanor, and his style overall. But she was also starting to see him as a cruel and ruthless hustler. The truth was that the encounter between Born and the crackhead earlier had reminded Jada of what she had once been. Suddenly her mind was flooded with memories of all the times she had begged a dealer to give it to her, even though she was short. All the times she’d been laughed at and demeaned for the sake of getting high. These were memories that Jada could do without. And now she couldn’t seem to block them out.

  He said, “You act like you scared or something.”

  She shrugged him off, and stared out the window. “You act like I’m supposed to be impressed because you hustle. That’s not impressive.”

  Born didn’t like how that sounded. He frowned. “I’m not trying to impress you, sweetheart. I told your stankin’ ass you could stay at my apartment while I ran out to handle my business.” Jada’s remark had ignited a fuse that blew Born’s temper out of proportion. “You’re acting like I brought you to show you what I’m workin’ with. You should have never asked to come if you was scared to see how I’m living.”