White Lines

by Tracy Brown

  Born had given Anisa a chance to redeem herself after Ethan was born. And he tried forgiving her for the sake of their new family. But something inside of him wouldn’t let him get past the way she’d abandoned him while he was locked up. Something wouldn’t allow him to let go of the fact that she had proven herself to be untrustworthy. Anisa tried to look and act the part of Born’s ideal woman. Still, no matter how she tried, in Born’s eyes she was just the young lady who’d been lucky enough to have his firstborn. He still hit it every now and then. But Born knew that there was no real future between them. Still, in his determination to ensure Ethan’s well-being, Born set her up in a nice one-family home on Bement Avenue. He spent the night with her every once in a while. But he had his own home—a duplex condo off of Richmond Avenue—where he spent the majority of his time. He gave Anisa money for whatever she needed, and spent tons of money on their son. This was his way of ensuring that Anisa didn’t cause him any baby mama drama, and also that she wouldn’t move too far away from him and take his son away. Anisa didn’t date much. Not publicly, anyway. She had one or two “maintenance men,” whom she called for physical emergencies, whenever Born got tired of servicing her. But she dated none of them seriously. Anisa held out hope that she could sucker Born into having another baby with her. That, she figured, might restore her to the number-one slot in his life. Especially now that he was getting involved in the entertainment industry.

  Born had come home from prison, and gone back to getting money with Dorian’s crew. But it didn’t feel right to him anymore. Born was growing tired of the game. Having had so much time to think while he was away, he’d come to some conclusions. Drugs had destroyed the lives of those around him, and they had come damn close to destroying his. Leo was gone, and so was Jada, in a sense. He thought about Ace, just coming down from a twenty-year bid, and about his half siblings, who were still strung out in this day and age. And he thought about all the years he’d spent in jail, years he had lost forever. He wanted to be there for his son, and the risk of going back to jail or being killed in the streets was a risk no longer worth taking. Born began looking for an exit from the game.

  While still doing business with Dorian’s crew, Born opened a sneaker store in Park Hill, on Targee Street. He did good business with that, and used it as a front for the few shady dealings he still had left to handle. He enjoyed the day-to-day operations of running his store, but the money wasn’t nearly enough to entice him to leave the game alone completely. Eventually, he also took over Slim’s barbershop, and that business was successful as well. Still, Born was reluctant to do anything other than the one thing he’d done all his life—hustle. The legitimate businesses were merely excess income. It just allowed him to keep putting money away for Ethan’s future, as well as for Dorian’s son.

  D.J. was being raised by his uncles. And part of what bothered Born was the fact that he knew that Dorian would have been displeased with how his son was being brought up. Born knew what Dorian had wanted for D.J.’s future, because it was very similar to what he wanted for his own son. An education, without having to worry about paying for it. A chance to go to college, or to play professional sports, or to get into the entertainment industry. The sky was the limit for their sons, because of the work their fathers had put in, and the connections they’d made along the way.

  But D.J. was being groomed to be a heartless, fearless hustler. Born knew that Dorian would not have wanted that life for his son. Not so soon, anyway. DJ. was fifteen years old, and rarely went to school. He was constantly on the road with his uncles, learning the game and soaking up all the wrong shit. Born felt a sense of responsibility toward the youngster. After all, he himself had once been groomed as Dorian’s successor. He began to put in more time with Dorian’s son.

  D.J. wanted to be a rapper. And he was good enough to be a multi-platinum success, if only he were given the chance to do something other than learning the game. Whenever Born went to spend time with D.J.—as he constantly did, often for days at a time—he took him to a recording studio to help him learn the industry, meet artists, and cut demos. Born used his connection with Zion, his childhood friend who was well connected in the music industry, which allowed him access to all the best studios in New York City. They spent hours at the Hit Factory, where hundreds of artists over the years had created timeless classics. Born drilled it into D.J.’s head that someday he might be among those who had created number-one hits in that very same studio. D.J. was excited whenever Born came to pick him up, because he knew that Born took a genuine interest in what interested D.J. Music. And getting into the industry seemed like an attainable goal, not something that was beyond his reach.

  Born also talked to D.J. about his father all the time. Not in the way that D.J.’s uncles spoke about Dorian. They made him sound like a Nino Brown type of guy, who had made a fortune by taking no prisoners in a game so ruthless that it would chew you up and spit you out if you weren’t careful. They made Dorian sound like he was 100 percent hustler, and nothing else. But that wasn’t how D.J. remembered his father. He remembered Dorian being a very handsome man, who drew all the attention whenever he walked into a room. He remembered Dorian as the ideal father, who taught his son to play ball and shared a love for music with him. He remembered Dorian as a good man, just as Born remembered him. A loyal and trustworthy friend with a heart of gold. Not one made of stone, the way D.J.’s uncles portrayed him. As young as D.J. was, he knew that Born had been a true friend to his father. He could tell by the way Born took responsibility for him, as if he were his own son. Born talked to D.J. about girls, about life, in a way that a father would. He didn’t sugarcoat his past. Instead, he described in explicit detail the way he had come to know Dorian, and the ways in which they’d taken the game and played it to the end. Born let D.J. know all the pitfalls that came along with being a hustler. He explained why he wanted to get out of the game, told him all about his past. And, by leveling with Dorian’s son as if he were a young man as opposed to a grown man, Born gained D.J.’s respect and admiration. D.J. could clearly understand why the man who had become his mentor and father figure had also been his father’s best friend.

  Seeing how DJ. related to him made Born extremely proud. He loved him as if he were his own son, and he knew that Dorian would be proud of how Born was helping to shape and mold him into a strong and determined young man.

  His time in the studio began to pay off. D.J. auditioned for a chance to battle on Cipher Sundays, a rap freestyle competition, in which contestants battled for the chance at a recording contract. He was thrilled when they called him for the show, and Born worked with him to get ready for his big shot. He really believed that D.J. had what it took to go the distance. Already, he’d been in freestyle ciphers in Brooklyn, and uptown, and D.J. had held his own, and made Born proud. Born had ensured that D.J. had been exposed to all the areas of the industry that he himself had access to. He figured Dorian’s son was ready for the world.

  When D.J. won the first round of the competition, everyone began to pay attention. Dorian’s brothers, who up to that point had only seen rapping as a pastime D.J. enjoyed when he wasn’t soaking up the game, began to take notice. They were still a little skeptical that he had what it took to compete on such a high level. Many youngsters dreamed of being famous rappers, yet few actually achieved that goal. But after watching him on TV, and seeing him demolish the competition, everyone in their family began to take notice of his talent. For five consecutive weeks, D.J. conquered opponent after opponent, and the title of Cipher Sundays Champion was within reach.

  Dorian’s two brothers—William and Lamont—invited Born over for a meeting at Lamont’s house. They explained that they wanted to talk to him about D.J. and his career. When he got there, D.J. had smiled at him as if he knew something that Born didn’t know. He did. Dorian’s brothers sat Born down, and explained that they’d thought D.J. was best suited to follow in Dorian’s footsteps in the streets. But after seeing D.J
. pummel the competition for more than a month on Cipher Sundays, they were convinced that he had a different destiny. Finally, they believed that DJ. had what it took to be a rapper. And, they explained, the reason they had called Born over to discuss this was because they wanted him to be D.J.’s business manager. DJ. already had a terrific chemistry with Born, and it didn’t hurt that Zion—a man with considerable industry connections—had suggested, and almost insisted, that Born be the man chosen to manage D.J. Both Born and D.J. were thrilled at their new business relationship, and Born began to see that this might be his big chance to get out of the game once and for all.

  DJ. went on to win the last two rounds of Cipher Sundays, and everyone was ecstatic. It was on! DJ. was the champ, and almost every major record label was interested in signing him. He was a teenage ingenue, with the charisma and personality of a seasoned hustler. His interviews were flawless, and D J. effortlessly displayed a mixture of humility and pride that made fans embrace him by the thousands. Born spent his days negotiating contracts, and getting DJ. in the studio. Born gave him feedback on his songs, suggesting lyrics from time to time. But for the most part, DJ. wrote his own rhymes, and Born offered constructive criticism, helping DJ. shape an image for his growing legion of fans. Zion assisted him in choosing producers, and in obtaining media coverage for D J., and soon they inked a great deal with one of the biggest labels in the industry. D J. was featured in major urban magazines, as well as on MTV and BET. He was on his way. Everyone could tell that this was only the beginning for the young powerhouse.

  And ever since she’d heard the news, Anisa had been more anxious than ever to sink her claws back into Born. She knew that, as he began touring with DJ., he would inevitably meet beautiful and successful women. She wanted to try and get back “in” before that happened. Born saw her clearly, though, and he paid her no mind.

  Born left Ethan in front of the television and walked into the kitchen. He found Anisa sitting at the table with her two good friends, Kiara and Precious. Born groaned inwardly, not exactly thrilled to see these two bitches sitting in the kitchen.

  “Hey, baby.” Anisa smiled at Born as he entered. Her hair was freshly done, highlighting perfect cheekbones and a glorious smile. She was a pretty girl; still, Born knew that an ugly side existed within her. Anisa was all about the Benjamins, and Born knew that, since she was being nice today, she must want some money.

  “Hey,” Born greeted Anisa, and said, “Wassup, y’all?” to the other two.

  “Whattup, big bailer, shot caller?” Precious’s ghetto ass responded. “You came just in time. We was just talking about Anisa’s birthday, which you should know by now is coming up. And we think you should get us a limo and let us take Anisa to Atlantic City to celebrate.”

  Born walked over to the refrigerator, completely ignoring Precious’s audacious comment. Kiara chimed in. “You only turn thirty once, Born. Don’t you want Anisa’s birthday to be memorable?”

  What Born wanted was to tell these gold-digging hos to get the hell up out of his house. After all, it was his house. Anisa just lived there. But instead of saying that, he poured himself something to drink and continued pretending he hadn’t heard a word. Finally, Anisa spoke up.

  “Born, you don’t have to be so rude. You could just say yes or no. It’s that simple.” She folded her arms across her chest, sat back in her chair, and rolled her eyes at his back. Precious grimaced at Born from behind, and Kiara giggled quietly.

  Born sipped his iced tea, and turned around to face the women in his kitchen. “Y’all bitches is crazy if you think I’m coming out of pocket to send y’all anywhere.”

  “Born!” Anisa cried, defending her friends.

  He continued talking. “Y’all better roll some quarters, or sell some ass, or do something so you can go to Atlantic City. ‘Cuz I ain’t paying for a muthafuckin’ thing. Don’t come at me with dumb shit.”

  “Born!” Anisa looked steamed.

  “What? You knew that shit was dumb when they started talking.” Born frowned, turned, and walked out of the kitchen.

  Anisa avoided looking at her friends, until finally Precious said, “I told you his cheap ass wouldn’t pay for it.”

  Born went back into the living room, picked up the extra joystick, and played a game with his son. He could hear Anisa’s voice mixed with those of her friends as they continued talking and cackling in the kitchen.

  Within an hour or so, the two guests left, and Anisa came to see what Born was up to. He knew she had an attitude about how rude he had been to her friends, but Born didn’t really give a damn.

  “Why you had to be so mean, Born? You know how Precious is. You know how she acts. She didn’t mean no harm.”

  Born shrugged. “I don’t care what she meant by it. Ain’t no free rides over here. Whoever don’t like that, they can kiss my—”

  “Okay, okay. I get the point. But, it is my birthday weekend, and I would like to go to Atlantic City with my friends. So can I have some money to pay for the hotel room—”

  “Hotel room? How long are you planning to stay there? It’s, like, two hours away, so what the hell do you need a hotel room for?”

  “Just for the weekend, Born. And this is all I want you to give me for my birthday.” Anisa batted her pretty, long eyelashes at him. “Pleeeease. It’s close by, so you’ll be able to get in touch with me if Ethan needs me, or something.”

  Born knew that Anisa really didn’t concern herself with Ethan as much as she should. Born played the role of Mr. Mom, while Anisa was busy being a diva. She was a good mother, but not what one would call a supermom. Born decided to give in so that he could have some valuable alone time with his son. He figured it would be better to have Anisa out of his face for a little while. Fuck it. “Go ahead and make the reservations, and I’ll pay for your room,” he said. “But you three can get down there the best way you can.”

  Anisa smiled, pleased with the outcome. She didn’t need a limousine, as Precious had suggested. She could always drive her Range Rover instead. She hugged Born, and then ran off to call her girls to give them the good news. Born finished his game with Ethan and made sure that he ate dinner and took a bath. Then he tucked Ethan into bed, kissed him good night, and prepared to head home.

  But when he peeked his head inside Anisa’s bedroom to say good-bye, she pulled him inside and kissed him deeply. She pulled him closer to her, until the heat of their bodies was too much for either of them to ignore. They had sex on top of the covers of her queen-size bed, and then Anisa fell asleep almost immediately. Born laid in bed beside Anisa, watching her sleep. He thought about slipping out while she snored softly. But instead, he lay there fitfully tossing to and fro, not realizing that Anisa’s peaceful slumber was a hoax. She knew, as she feigned sleep, that something had Born lying awake later than usual. Something had him troubled.

  Born thought about Jada. He thought about her voice, the way she sounded so sexy, especially in the morning when she first woke up. He remembered how they used to talk until the wee hours of the morning about any- and everything. Jada had stimulated his mind like no other woman since. She had made him think about things that he probably never would have thought about otherwise. And he missed that.

  Sunny was exhausted. After drinking a whole bottle of Hennessy, talking to Jada for hours about their past, and ordering pizza for Sheldon and Mercedes, she had finally ended her conversation with Jada and gone to sleep beside her daughter. It wouldn’t be the first time Sunny had gotten lit and camped out at her friend’s place. The two of them were so close that they made themselves at home whenever they visited one another. Jada looked in on Sunny and Mercedes sleeping comfortably in the guest bedroom. Sunny was sprawled out in the queen-size bed, with Mercedes nestled peacefully beside her.

  She shut the door and then looked in on Sheldon, who was knocked out in his own bedroom. Jada looked at the assorted sports paraphernalia scattered throughout the spacious room and smiled, thankful for the secon
d chance she’d been given to be a mother to her child.

  She took a long, hot shower, and washed and conditioned her hair. Then she moisturized her skin with lotion and pulled on an oversized T-shirt that she liked to sleep in. She wrapped her hair up in a silky scarf and walked into her bedroom. Her feet sank into the plushness of her thick carpet. She loved the feeling of climbing onto her pillow-top mattress and lying back across her sky blue comforter. What a day it had been. Her conversation with Sunny had conjured up lots of things she’d long ago forgotten. She stared at the ceiling, thinking about all the memories her conversation with Sunny had brought back. Jada toyed with the card in her hand and read Born’s script for the thousandth time:

  Believe it or not, I still think about you all the time. And I’m sorry for your loss.

  She smiled. He still thought about her. He was sorry for her loss. She wondered why those words meant as much to her as they did. She thought about their story, about all the things that she and Sunny had discussed that evening—both good and bad. Jada remembered the love she had shared with Born, and the pain of losing him, as if it were all recent. But at that moment, what consumed her was an overwhelming need to talk to him.