Crossed Out

by Kim Baccellia

  “Um, I don’t know....”

  He took my hand. With one finger he traced the back of my hand. Goosebumps crept up my back.

  “What’s wrong? Can’t get out alone?” His gaze seemed to intensify, the coolness drilling into my body.

  “No, it’s not that.”

  “Then what?”

  A warning buzzed inside my head. Don’t trust him. You don’t know what you’re messing with.

  Usually I trusted my inner thoughts, but right now they irritated me. I was curious about Mark. What kind of abilities did he have? Could he possibly be someone I could confide in? And let’s not forget an important point. He was hot and he was interested in me.

  I pushed caution aside. “Sure, why not?”

  “Great. You won’t be disappointed.”

  I took another sip of my bitter espresso, which really didn’t taste that bad. Mark leaned over close, his thumb lightly caressing my hand. Just one look into his blue eyes, made me forget all my earlier problems. I wanted to stay with him.

  The vinyl seats felt strangely comfortable. The music droned on in the background, along with the voice of other people in the coffee house. Nothing existed except this moment with me sitting across from the hottest guy in Sacramento – who happened to like me and even better – didn’t question me like some drill sergeant about what I did at night.

  No. I wanted to stay here forever.

  “So tell me about your classes,” I asked. I pushed my small cup aside.

  Mark picked up my hand, rubbing it. Each stroke sent tingles up my arms. Sensations down below, made me close my legs.

  I thought stuff like this only happened in those cheap romance novels. Not with someone like me.

  My heart pounded so hard, I thought it’d burst.

  “Nothing to tell. Boring as usual.” He smiled. “Tell me more about you.”

  I couldn’t take my gaze off him. His icy blue eyes pulled me in with promises of what could be between us.

  “Uh, not much.” I gulped. My mouth felt dry even though I’d just sipped my coffee. “What do you want to know?”

  “Everything,” he said. His eyes seemed to glow. I felt myself being pulled closer and closer. Nothing mattered. Nothing but being close to him.

  “Your family. Tell me about them.”

  “Well, I have one annoying mother. She’d just die if she knew what I really did.” I laughed. “My father? Love him, but he’s clueless. And my perfect,” I used my fingers to emphasize quotation marks, “Peace Corps serving brother Ricky, who I’ll never be like in a million years.”

  Mark continued to smile. His smile was perfect.

  “So your mother doesn’t know about your night time hobby?” he asked. “How about anyone else?”

  “No, you’re the only one.” I said, refusing to admit that my so-called counselor not only knew but wanted to help mentor me. Why I didn’t spill, I don’t know. Maybe I feared Mark’s reaction would be similar to Dylan.

  “Did you tell anyone else…,” I coughed, “…our ability?”

  Mark looked away. “No. No, I didn’t.”

  “What about your family?” I asked, wanting to change the subject. “What are they like?

  “I wouldn’t know. I haven’t been around them for a long while.”

  “Oh, that’s right you did mention that. Are you living with another family member? Like a brother?”

  He stared at me hard. “No.”

  I waited for him to reveal more. But he didn’t. Somehow I knew not to push either.

  “What does it matter who I live with?” Mark leaned in closer. “I’m here now and I met you.” The light from outside hit his cross necklace, framing his face with a silver glow.

  I smiled. I couldn’t help but focus on his lips. I fantasized about him pulling me closer, and kissing me. No way would his kiss be anything but amazing.

  “I’m like you, I don’t usually tell others about my interests.” Mark smiled.

  Excitement bubbled inside me. Could it be possible I could actually share my ability with someone else who didn’t happen to be either dead or a so-called shrink?

  “Cool,” I said. “Uh, I mean, I understand where you’re coming from.”

  “There’s a lot we have in common,” Mark said. “Tonight, I’ll share even more.”

  Shivers went through my body. Just the thought of being closer to Mark, made me want to forget everything else.

  I didn’t want this feeling to go away.

  Chapter 19

  The rest of the day went by too fast. We left the coffee house and hung out by the big park across the street from City College. The groves of oak trees, friendly squirrels, and the ducks made me forget about all the mundane stuff that had bothered me, including Dylan.

  Being with Mark gave happiness a whole new meaning. I mean, who wouldn’t be stoked to be around a cute guy who not only wanted to be with you but showed interest in the everyday mundane things of your life, or in my case, didn’t judge me because of my fascination with helping the dead.

  At least, that’s what I’d assumed Mark meant in the coffee house.

  The time came when we had to leave. I’d cut school and frankly didn’t care. But the school might call and I needed to get home to at least give the impression that I’d gone.

  Mark dropped me off down the street, a few houses away from my home.

  “See you tonight,” he said.

  “I didn’t say I would come.”

  “You’ll come.”

  The look he directed my way spoke volumes. He was interested in me. I couldn’t wait for tonight even though I didn’t want to let him know that. Even I knew being too forward wasn’t cool and might turn a guy off. I didn’t want to blow it.

  Mark gunned his motor and took off. I stood for a while, watching him fade into the distance. I still couldn’t believe what I’d done. This so wasn’t me. But maybe I needed to change.

  I turned and made my way to my house, hoping no one – namely Dylan – had told my mother I hadn’t been at school. I’m sure Cura would text me later for the 411.

  When I opened my front door, I caught a whiff of Mom’s homemade marinara sauce. The sweet scent of sautéed onions, garlic, roasted tomatoes and basil made my stomach growl. I smiled.

  Not only had I met one awesome guy, but Mom was making my favorite meal. If I was lucky, she’d make Grandpa’s famous meatballs, which I swear were bigger than my fist.

  I threw my backpack in the corner. I couldn’t help but check to see if the red light was flashing on the answering machine. No.

  I pushed back the fear Mom’d find out about my little escapade with Mark today. I’d never cut school before. I didn’t want to argue. I wanted to savor the feelings I’d had earlier with Mark.

  “Stephanie, is that you?” Mom called from the kitchen.

  “Yeah.” I wandered in, placing some letters on the granite counter. “Here’s the mail.”

  “How was school?” She stirred the spaghetti sauce. Her Ann Taylor outfit, a peach t-shirt and khaki slacks, was covered by an apron, handmade by a long-forgotten college roommate. A few long strands of hair framed her face where they had escaped her clippie barrette. Even when making dinner my mother looked well put together.

  “Oh, same ol’ same ol’,” I said.

  “Did you ace that Spanish quiz?” She brought the spoon up and motioned me over.

  “Um, yeah.” A tinge of panic hit me. Had the school called? Quick to change the subject, I leaned over to taste the sauce. “Mmm. That’s good.”

  “You don’t think it needs more seasoning?”

  “Maybe more basil?” I grabbed an apple from the fruit bowl.

  Mom took a taste and nodded. She put a pinch of basil in and stirred. “Do you have anything you’d like to share?”

  I felt as if I’d been punched in the stomach. Did she know?

  “No, should I?” Squirming under her sudden interest, I cut her short. “Got a paper to work on. Let me
know when dinner’s ready, okay?”

  “If you ever want to talk, I’m here, okay?” She brushed some hair out of my face.

  “Yeah, thanks, Mom.”

  I rushed up the stairs to the safety of my room.

  I threw my backpack on the wicker chair then crashed on my unmade bed. I felt like such a brat. Mom had only been trying to be nice and I blew her off. I blamed my behavior on a combination of little sleep, cutting school and my ‘date’ with Mark.

  Thoughts of Mark brought up a wave of mixed emotions. Settling back against my pillow, I closed my eyes. Tonight. Midnight. Coffee house.

  Was I curious about what he had to show me? Hell, yes. I doubted a spirit would show up. Even if it did, it wasn’t as if I didn’t have time to do a rescue. Forty-eight hours meant I’d have another day to help. For some funny reason I knew Mark wouldn’t freak out if he witnessed a rescue.

  I wanted someone to confide in, and it didn’t hurt that this someone was six feet tall, buff, and very fine.

  Dylan’s warning flashed through my mind. Don’t trust that guy. I tried to make sense of all the weird things that had happened in the last few days. Conflicting emotions ping-ponged in my head. Did I really want to go back to the coffee house? Did I really no want to? Dang, why did life have to be so complicated?

  The phone rang downstairs.

  “Stephanie.” Mom’s voice shattered my thoughts. “Dylan’s on the phone.”

  “Coming.” A sick feeling hit me. Couldn’t he just leave me alone? I jumped off my bed and rushed to the door.

  Mom stood outside my room, the phone in her hand. Her eyebrows rose. “Didn’t you two just get back from school?”

  “Uh, yeah,” I said, trying to avoid my mother’s gaze. “He said he’d call me when he got home with some info on a paper we’re doing.”

  “Oh, good. I’m glad you’re working with him.” Mom gave me the phone. “When you’re done, can you come down and help with the salad?”

  “Sure, Mom.”

  She stood there and watched me. I could feel her probing me for a clue about what she probably thought was wrong. Well, what was the worst she could do? Make another appointment with Dr. Anthony?

  “Yeah, did you get it?” I asked, turning my back to my mother. I hoped Dylan would play along with me.

  “I like you too.” Dylan’s voice sounded concerned. “What’s this about a paper we’re doing?”

  “Um … wait a minute” I glanced over at mom. “Dylan’s telling me some stuff for that paper I told you about.”

  “Right.” Mom glared at me with her know-everything-radar. “Are you sure everything’s okay?”

  “Of course I’m sure!”

  “I’ll be downstairs. Don’t forget the salad.”

  “No problem.”

  I made a mad dash to my room and closed the door. “Why are you calling?” I whispered angrily into the receiver. “I don’t have time for this.”

  “Where were you today? I didn’t see you at school.”

  “As if you really looked. Didn’t you say you didn’t have time for this? Well, didn’t you? Why the sudden interest?”

  “Stephanie, I’m sorry I went off on you this morning.”

  That took me aback. Dylan had never admitted he was wrong before.

  I know I should’ve been happy he’d apologized but I was still mad. What right did he have to go off on me at the committee meeting this morning? I was sick of his stalker-like behavior. I didn’t need this crap, especially now that I had someone who really liked me.

  Memories of the day with Mark made me smile. He hadn’t given me the third degree. It felt nice not having to avoid the truth about what being a rescuer. And better yet, to be able to share my secret with a really cute guy. I still couldn’t believe that Mark liked me and, better yet, wanted to see me later tonight.

  Dylan cleared his throat. “Stephanie, are you still there?”

  “Dylan, I really don’t have time for this. Stop bothering me.”

  “Fine, be that way. I was only trying to help. Like I said before watch out for that Mark dude.”

  “Jeez, Dylan. Back off. You’re just jealous some cute guy actually wants to be with me.”

  “He wants to be with you? What’s going on, Steph?”

  “As if it’s any of your business – nothing. Now if you’ll excuse me, I gotta go.” I hung up.

  I should have been relieved, but oddly enough some of what Dylan had said bugged me.

  My heart raced. Why should Dylan’s comments about Mark bother me so much? As if he’d ever understand in a bazillian years my intense desire – no – my need to be with Mark. Couldn’t Dylan get a clue and stop butting into my life?

  Chapter 20

  After I made the salad, I went to my room, with the excuse that I had homework to do. In reality, though, I laid on my bed, fantasizing about the meeting tonight.

  Dinner arrived too soon.

  I wished I belonged to one of those happy families, like the one on reruns of 7th Heaven. Now those kids – including rebellious Jessica Biel – had it made. At the end of each episode, their parents found the good in whatever they did. Unlike some families I knew.

  During dinner, Mom kept giving me one of those I-know-you’re-hiding-something-and-I’m-going-to-pry-it-from-you-one-way-or-another looks. Talk about ruining a perfectly good meal.

  She was probably still pissed over my sudden meeting with the counselor. I twirled the pasta around my fork, squirming under her gaze. I wanted to leave the dining room table but knew if I did, she’d pounce on me.

  Leave it to Dad to come to my rescue. “How was school?” He shoved a fork full of spaghetti into his mouth. “Anything interesting happen?”

  If only he knew. I attempted another bite of dinner. “Um … nothing much.”

  “Okay, what’s going on?” Dad leaned back in his chair. “If it was any colder in here, I’d think we were in Antarctica.”

  “Nothing.” I looked away. “I’m just not hungry, okay?”

  “All right.” Dad leaned back in his chair and patted his stomach. “But you don’t know what you’re missing.” He glanced at his watch. “If you’ll excuse me ladies, I got a date with the Rams. Tonight’s their big game.”

  He got up, went to the kitchen, grabbed a beer out of the fridge, then came back into the dining room. “Don’t study too hard, pumpkin.” He kissed the top of my head and left.

  Not much later, I heard the squeak of his La-Z-Boy chair and the roar of a football game.

  Relief flooded my body. Now I could escape to the safety of my room and plan for my meeting with Mark. Images of cute outfits ran through my head.

  “Good dinner, Mom.” I picked up both Dad’s plate and mine and placed them in the sink. “I’ll be upstairs. Got a lame test tomorrow.”

  Mom’s right eyebrow rose. Jeez, you’d think she was part Vulcan or something. “All right, you sure you don’t want to tell me something?”

  I squirmed in my chair.

  “Why weren’t you in school today?” she asked.

  “Did Dylan tell you that?”

  “It doesn’t matter who told me. What’s going on, Stephanie? Since this is your first time, I’ll let it slide. Maybe we should make another appointment with that nice Dr. Anthony.”

  I shrugged my shoulders. So what if I cut school. Once wasn’t going to kill me.

  “I swear sometimes it feels like I’m talking to myself.” Mom got up from the table, slamming her plate on top of the others. I flinched.

  “I’m sorry, okay?” I muttered. “It won’t happen again. Now can I be excused?”

  Mom stopped, folded her arms, and stared at me hard for what seemed like forever. She sighed.

  “I only say this because I care about you. I worry about you. What with your little obsession with making crosses....”

  “It’s not an obsession Mom. I like to make them. What’s wrong with that?”

  “Okay, I give up. But if this happens again,
I’ll have to tell your father and seriously ground you. Do you understand?”

  Ground me? I resisted the urge to laugh. If she thought cutting school was bad, what would she think of me sneaking out later tonight?

  “Yeah, whatever.”

  “Fine. You can go. But you had better be studying tonight. No texting, no blogging.”

  So much for texting Cura. She’d be furious missing out on the latest news but I was sure she’d understand.

  “I will, Mom.”

  “Oh.” She rinsed off a plate. “You should ask Dylan over sometime. Didn’t you say you were working on a paper together?”

  Jeez, I forgot about him. How stupid could I be? “Um, yes. Maybe later. He’s really swamped with a lot right now.”

  “Too bad.” Mom smiled. “I like that boy. You could learn a thing or two from him.”

  “Yeah, right.” I rolled my eyes. A smart-ass comment about the world not needing another wannabe stalker came to mind, but I bit my tongue. No need to further antagonize her. “Can I go now?”

  “Yes.” Mom shook her finger at me. “You need to watch that attitude of yours. It’ll only hold you back in life.”

  I opened the refrigerator and grabbed a can of Diet Cherry Coke.

  “Yeah, Mom.” I grabbed a bag of Cheetos. With all her nagging, I needed some comfort right now.

  “I thought you weren’t hungry?” Mom frowned at the bag of Cheetos clutched in my hands.

  “What?” I shrugged my shoulders. “I need a snack to keep me going during my studies.”

  “I’ll never understand you.” Mom turned and glanced down the hallway. “Now if your father took what’s going on in this house more seriously, I’d be in Heaven.”

  “Sure, we’d be one big happy flippin’ family,” I muttered under my breath between a couple Cheetos.

  “What did you say?” Mom turned back to me.

  “Uh … nothing.” I grabbed an apple and put it in the pocket of my cargo pants. “I’m going to my room.”

  I rushed upstairs, not waiting for Mom’s reply. I closed my bedroom door. Whew, that was too close. If they had awards for the biggest mouth in Sacramento, I’d win, no questions asked. I still couldn’t believe how stupid I’d been to say Dylan was working on a paper with me. After how he treated me this morning, I wanted nothing to do with him.