The Zero Blessing

by Christopher Nuttall

  Rose flinched, but made no move to defend herself. “You messed up the spell ...”

  I shook my head. Dad had taught me carefully, ranging from pitch-perfect pronunciations to little hand and wrist movements that helped to focus the spell. For those with little talent, precision meant the difference between successfully casting a spell and complete failure. But for those with no talent, like me, it was nothing more than an exercise in futility. Dad had watched me like a hawk, ready to snap at the slightest misstep, but he’d found nothing to criticize. Everything was perfect, save me. I’d memorised fifty spells I’d never be able to use.

  “The spell is perfect,” I said. “It’s the caster who failed.”

  Once I started, I couldn't stop. “My parents started to teach us magic when we were seven,” I said. “My sisters took to it like ducks to water, but I couldn’t cast a single spell. Dad looked for all sorts of ways to develop the magic he thought I had, Mum taught me how to brew potions, the apprentices taught me to forge ... nothing worked.”

  I wondered, sourly, if Rose could possibly understand. She hadn't grown up in a magical household. Sure, her parents would know a few basic spells, but they’d hardly be the most important things in their lives. But for me ... Bella was lazy, unwilling to apply herself, yet even she had more magic in her little finger than I had in my entire body. And there was nowhere I could go, either, to escape my family.

  Rose cleared her throat. “Why did they send you here?”

  “Dad thinks it will help unlock my magic,” I said. “He’s convinced I have talent.”

  “I see,” Rose said. She reached out and wrapped an arm around my shoulder. “Why?”

  I snorted. “He thinks I broke a spell cast by a very experienced magician,” I said. “And so he thinks my talents are merely buried.”

  “He could be right,” Rose said. “You did free me from Isabella’s spell ... didn’t you?”

  “You did it,” I told her. Dad had taught me how to undo transfiguration spells, of course, but I’d never been able to break them at will. “I merely helped you to focus your mind. Your mind wants to return to a human body.”

  Rose shuddered. “I thought I was trapped forever ...”

  “It would have worn off,” I assured her. “The old biddy’s spell probably wore off too.”

  She shot me a questioning look, so I told her about Great Aunt Stregheria and the rest of the family. It was odd, I had to admit. I could easily believe that Great Aunt Stregheria hadn't thought it was worth wasting a complex spell on me, but Dad should have been able to unravel anything less complex easily. He wouldn't leave us trapped any longer than strictly necessary. Maybe he’d studied the spell and decided it would unravel on its own sooner rather than later ...

  But he was sure I’d broken it myself, I thought. He wouldn't have lied to me about that, would he?

  Rose took a breath. “You forged something ...”

  “There’s no magic in that,” I pointed out. “No inherent magic, anyway. I can forge with the best of them.”

  It was hard to look at her, so I studied the stone beneath our feet. “I can forge, but I can’t cast spells to test them. I can brew potions, but I can't actually make them work. I can prepare spell diagrams and notations, but I can't cast the spells myself. I know plenty of tips and tricks, but I can't ever use them for myself ...”

  I shook my head. “I don't have a hope of passing my exams,” I added, reluctantly. “If I survive ...”

  “You will,” Rose said.

  “Accidents happen,” I countered. “And if they don’t know I don’t have magic ...”

  I looked up at her. “You should go,” I told her. “There’s still time for you to make friends with real magicians. I can't help you.”

  Rose gaped at me, then jabbed me with her finger. It hurt. “Are you ...?”

  She glared. “Do you really think I’d abandon you over this?”

  “You should,” I said. “You’ll just make yourself a target.”

  “I’m already a target,” Rose said. “And my family can't do magic!”

  “They can cast spells though, can’t they?” I asked. “And I bet they can sense magic ...”

  Rose leaned forward and slapped me, hard.

  I recoiled in shock. I’d been jinxed and hexed and told off by my parents, but no one had ever struck me before. Neither of my sisters had ever thought to slap me ... I wouldn't have punched Isabella, if I’d had magic at my command. The pain ... I rubbed my cheek, utterly astonished. I’d never dreamt Rose would slap me.

  “You are being incredibly selfish,” she snapped. “I’m the only one in my family who can cast spells reliably, but that doesn't make my brothers and sisters useless! They’ll be growing crops and raising animals for the slaughter while I’m stuck here, learning magic. There are thousands of people who get by without using magic!”

  She went on without taking a breath. “There are plenty of things you can do, without magic,” she added. “Even if you don’t want to farm, you could become an accountant or a lawyer or even one of the King’s Men! And even if you want to work with magic, you can forge or brew potions and get someone else to give them the magic! Stop feeling self-pitying and start thinking.”

  I found my voice. “I can't even sense magic!”

  “Then make more Devices to help you,” Rose snarled. She met my eyes, silently daring me to look away. “There’s a girl I know back home who had a nasty accident and lost both of her legs. The doctors cut them off - her family couldn't afford the spells needed to regrow her legs or even give her a pair of wooden stumps! She’s a cripple! She’ll never get married or have children ... she’ll be completely dependent on her parents and siblings for the rest of her life. And you know what she does?”

  Her eyes bored into mine. “She sits in her makeshift chair and makes clothes,” she added, her voice quieting down. “I’ve watched her knit and sew - she used to give lessons to the little girls, back before I discovered a gift for magic. She can't get around without help, but she’s still useful. She still has a place!”

  I shuddered. Magic could heal almost anything, if it wasn't instantly fatal. I’d broken my leg a few times, only to have my parents repair it in a moment. But if someone couldn't afford the trained magicians needed to regrow a missing leg, then attach it ... they’d be crippled for the rest of their lives. Rose had said that, hadn't she?

  “You can walk and run,” Rose snapped, breaking into my thoughts. “You can read and write better than me - better than most, I’d wager. And you have knowledge and family connections and good looks and plenty of other assets. You are not useless.”

  I felt a flicker of hope. I had shocked Isabella, hadn't I? She hadn't anticipated the Casting Chalk. Of course, she’d be more careful next time. And while I’d probably given her a nasty fright when I’d hit her, the healers would have fixed her up in moments. Her face had looked unscratched when she’d walked into the potions classroom. I had no doubt she’d already forgotten the pain.

  And maybe there were options. I’d just been so fixated on magic that I couldn't think of life without it.

  “There are non-magical classes,” Rose offered. “And I can help you with the others ...”

  I looked at her, astonished. “You would do that for me?”

  “Yes,” Rose said. “Wouldn't you?”

  I had no answer. If I’d been born with magic ... would I have turned my nose up at Rose, merely because her family were commoners? Would I have missed her remarkable talent and skill? Or would I have become her friend anyway ... friend? Were we friends? She should have rejected me ... why hadn't she rejected me?

  “I don’t know,” I admitted. “Rose ... my sisters know. Everyone else suspects ... at the very least. It’s rare for a child from a magical family not to be using magic by the time they reach ten. People have been whispering about me for the last couple of years. I don’t know how long I can keep up any pretence ...”

  Rose leaned
forward. “Even with me helping?”

  I shrugged. Rose could help me with potions. And maybe a couple of other classes. But there was no way she could help with Protective and Defensive Magic, let alone Practical Charms. Even if we worked together closely ... a thought was flickering at the back of my mind, yet it refused to surface. I didn't think we could fool trained and experienced teachers for very long, if at all. They’d eventually realise I was cheating.

  And yet ... if I could get a couple of passes ...

  The thought was tempting. I couldn't get a degree in Charms or Defensive Magic, but I could get one in a non-magical subject. We would be covering law in the next couple of years, assuming I wasn't kicked out of the school at the end of the year. And with that degree, I could do something ... something else. Lawyers had to protect themselves against magical interference, but I could design and build Devices for that ...

  ... Or Rose and I could set up an apothecary. Or a forge.

  Dad would front us the money, I thought, wryly. It wouldn't be that much of a come-down for me. Apothecaries were important people. He’d be delighted.

  Rose cleared her throat. “Well ...?”

  “We can try,” I said. I looked back at her. “I wasn't joking, you know. You would be better off without me.”

  “I don’t think so,” Rose said. “Cat ... I need help too. All of this--” she waved a hand towards the distant towers “--is new to me. I don’t understand half the equations I had to study ... I don’t even know the basic skills. My reading is ... poor and my handwriting is terrible. You can help me as I help you.”

  I closed my eyes for a long moment, silently thanking the fates. Rose and I ... in some ways, we were very much alike. I should have seen it sooner. I would have, if I hadn't been so consumed with self-pity. She was a stranger in a strange land, while I was the ultimate outcast. Part of me wanted to believe that she’d push me away, eventually ... I didn't want to hope that I’d found a true friend. She knew my secret now ...

  ... And she wasn't trying to take advantage of me.

  “I’ll help you,” I promised. I held out a hand. “Friends?”

  Rose smiled. “Friends.”

  We shook hands, firmly. There should have been a tingle, according to all the old storybooks - a flicker of magic that would bind us together permanently. But I felt nothing. Magical oaths and bindings are dangerous. Dad had taught us to be very wary of what promises we made, just in case magic - or the fates - decided to take them literally. Perhaps it was just a joke. Dad hadn’t said anything about how to make an oath, but I was fairly sure it was more complex than just shaking hands.

  “We’ll go to the library,” I said, standing. I didn't let go of her hand. “We can start looking at charm geometrics ...”

  Rose flushed, lightly. “We have to go back to the dorm,” she said. “Sandy wants to see you.”

  I glanced at the darkening sky, then at my watch. How long had we been on the roof?

  And Mum had warned me that upperclassmen could track lowerclassmen. “She told you where to find me?”

  “Yeah,” Rose said. “She didn't look pleased.”

  A low peal of thunder echoed through the sky. I saw lightning flickering in the distance, sparking oddly as it reacted with the magic protecting the city. Dad spent half of his time working on the protections, he'd told us. They were among some of the most complex pieces of magic in the world. And yet, there was something terrifyingly ephemeral about them ...

  I pushed the thought aside. “We’d better go,” I said, as raindrops began to splash down around us. Sandy was going to be utterly furious. She was responsible for our behaviour, after all. Magistra Loanda had probably given her an earache about me. “We don't want to give her time to get madder.”

  Rose nodded, silently. Part of me wanted to tell her to go hide in the library, but the rest of me wanted her to come, even though I knew she couldn't help. Sandy could make the rest of the year miserable, if she wished ...

  And there’s no way to avoid it, I thought, grimly. It’s time to face the music.

  Chapter Fifteen

  The dorm was very quiet when we walked through the door.

  Sandy was sitting by the door, quietly furious. The remaining eight girls were sitting on their beds, the drapes pulled back to deny them any privacy. They were trying to read, I thought, but it was clear that most of them weren't actually learning anything. Isabella had a faintly vindictive smile on her face, which brightened when she saw me. She knew I was in trouble.

  And that I don’t have magic, I thought, as Sandy rose to her feet. She knows I couldn't brew a simple potion.

  “You,” Sandy said. She jabbed a finger at Rose. “Go to your bed, sit down and shut up.”

  Rose paled. “Yes ...”

  “I said shut up,” Sandy said. She was moving her hands in an odd pattern, interlocking her fingers and then releasing them time and time again. “Go to your bed and keep your mouth closed.”

  I forced myself not to back off as Sandy turned the full force of her glare on me. My mother could be terrifyingly intimidating when she chose, but I’d never really believed she would actually hurt me. Sandy ... she looked as though she wanted to wrap her fingers around my neck and squeeze. It struck me, suddenly, that Magistra Loanda would have done more than merely given her an earache. Sandy, an upperclassman, might have been given detention too.

  “You ran out of class without being dismissed,” Sandy said. Her tone was so harsh that I flinched, despite myself. There was so much anger in her words that they could burn through seven layers of wards. “What were you thinking?”

  She went on before I could think of an answer. “Magistra Loanda has given me detention for the next month,” she snarled. Her hands were flexing in a more complex pattern. “I won’t be trying out for the netball team because of you.”

  I swallowed, hard. I’d never considered sports important - I’d never been able to play - but I knew that others did. Sandy hadn't just been embarrassed by me. She’d lost the chance to play netball. Perhaps, just perhaps, she’d be lucky enough to win a reserve slot ... I groaned, inwardly. She was going to kill me.

  “My weekends have been lost,” Sandy said. She twisted her hands again. It dawned on me that she was casting a spell. If I’d been able to sense magic, I would have picked up on it sooner. “What were you thinking?”

  “I’m sorry,” I said. It wasn't really true. I might have embarrassed myself and landed Sandy in hot water, but I’d also found a friend. It was worth a year of detentions. “It was my fault and I will tell Magistra Loanda that, tomorrow.”

  Sandy leaned forward until our noses were almost touching. “Do you think your family connections will get you out of trouble?”

  I shook my head, not daring to speak. Mum would be furious, when she found out. I had no doubt that Magistra Loanda had already written to my parents. I’d probably get a letter back tomorrow, telling me precisely what an idiot I’d been and threatening all kinds of punishment when I went home for the holidays. Mum was probably going to ground me forever, if she didn't put me to work weeding the entire garden by hand ...

  “I’m glad to hear it,” Sandy snapped. She drew back, still working on her spell. I wondered, absently, just what she was doing. I didn't recognise the hand movements. “Let me get a few things straight ...”

  She pinned me in place with her gaze. It was more effective than any spell.

  “I am responsible for your behaviour in this school, unless you get expelled,” she said. “Do you understand what that means? Your bad behaviour reflects on me! You running out of a class without being dismissed means that I get in trouble. Do you understand me?”

  I nodded, hastily. There was a very nasty glint in her eye.

  “If you have a dispute with your dorm mates, you settle it honourably, using magic,” Sandy added. “There are plenty of traditions passed down through the generations for settling disagreements. Use them, instead of punching someone like a c
ommon thug! And if you have problems with the teachers ... suck it up! You are here to learn, not to have the entire school bend the knee to you.”

  She pushed her hands together one final time, then yanked them apart. I gasped. Invisible ropes were twisting around me, pushing against my body ... choking me. I felt my feet floating off the ground as the spell tightened, Sandy pulling her hands further and further apart. It was suddenly very hard to breathe. I tried to move a hand, hoping she’d think I was casting a spell, but one of the ropes caught me before I could complete the motion.

  “Let her go,” Rose shouted. She started to climb off her bed. “You’ll kill her ...”

  Sandy nodded in her direction. Rose froze, then tumbled off the side and hit the ground with a thud. I knew she’d be unhurt - one advantage of the freezing spell is that it prevents damage - but it would be embarrassing. Isabella and the others looked as if they wanted to laugh, yet didn't quite dare. Sandy was ... impressive. Casting multiple spells at once, without proper preparation, was very difficult. It had saved me, once or twice, from my sisters.