The Tangled Web

by Lacey Dearie

  ‘Did you want to tell me something?’ Lumi urged.

  ‘Yes, I did. We were trying to find you because somebody recognised you from the picture we used on our honey’s profile,’ Flic informed her.

  Lumi clearly hadn’t expected Flic to say this. She appeared to have halted and turned her whole body to face Flic now instead of edging away and facing out to the street.

  ‘Really? Who?’

  ‘His name is Magnus. He recognised you and started asking questions, so we deleted him as a friend of the honey and blocked him.’

  Lumi cast her eyes down for a moment. When she looked up, she was wary again, the way she had been when Flic first entered Pawel’s living room that night. She appeared to be mulling over the information Flic had given her and Flic suspected she had questions of her own, even if she wasn’t forthcoming with her feelings on the matter.

  ‘Who is Magnus? Why was he Diana’s friend?’ Lumi asked.

  ‘He’s our business partner. He’s involved in the financial side of HunE-trap Investigations, and he’s a friend of my boyfriend. He and Vicky are seeing each other. But he knew nothing about our deal with you. Just be vigilant and if he approaches you, say he’s mistaken and it wasn’t you in the photographs,’ Flic advised.

  ‘I’ll watch out,’ Lumi nodded. She began to back away, ready to make a dash out toward the road.

  ‘One more thing. What made you call yourself Diana tonight? Flic asked.

  ‘I just needed a name, an alias. Your character was the first name that came into my head,’ Lumi shrugged and turned to walk away.

  ‘Right. Well, I’ll drop by your stall some time. Take care. And remember to watch out for a guy called Magnus,’ Flic called after her.

  Lumi ignored her and continued her hasty escape. Flic folded her arms around her chest in a hug in an attempt to ward off the biting wind and headed back through Pawel’s door. Her classmates had now started to leave, with the exception of Mrs. Notepad who had chosen to stay along with Flic and learn about Polish cuisine. Pawel was busy ushering the leavers out of his front door and chatting as he did so. Flic decided to call Vicky to give her the news about Lumi.

  ‘Hello,’ Vicky answered the phone.

  ‘Vic. It’s me. You’ll never guess who I met at the Polish lesson tonight.’

  ‘Who?’

  ‘Lumi!’

  ‘Nooo!’

  ‘Yes! I warned her that Magnus might approach her and start asking questions. I told her to say it wasn’t her in the photo. She looked a bit miffed, but I think she’ll handle it ok,’ Flic recounted.

  ‘Well at least we don’t have to worry about her giving the game away now,’ Vicky sighed with relief.

  ‘Lucky I met her tonight. Imagine if Magnus had got to her first!’ Flic chortled.

  ‘Doesn’t bear thinking about,’ Vicky granted, with muffled tones.

  ‘Are you eating something?’ Flic giggled.

  ‘Yeah, a cupcake. Magnus brought it over for me earlier.’

  Flic was halted by the mention of cupcakes. That’s a strange coincidence, she thought.

  ‘Mr Kipling’s finest?’ she joked, trying not to think of what might have happened if Magnus had gone shopping for cupcakes at Lumi’s stall.

  ‘No, it’s one of his new business ventures. You know those stalls he has in the shopping centre? He’s found a girl who’s a cupcake whizz. She started selling them last week,’ Vicky reeled.

  Lumi’s words echoed in Flic’s head…‘ I make them myself. And I decorate them. My boyfriend owns the stalls in the shopping mall. He suggested the idea.’

  Boyfriend?

  16

  8th March

  ‘Scarlett? It’s Flic.’

  ‘Flic! Wonderful to hear from you,’ Scarlett enthused. Her mouth was clearly too close to the phone and Flic had to draw her ear away slightly. ‘Listen, I have a favour to ask you.’

  Flic pinched the bridge of her nose. She had quickly learned that Scarlett’s favours were not something she wanted to get involved in. ‘I’ve got a favour to ask you too. What’s yours?’

  ‘Oh. Right. Um, we got turned down for the Jeremy Kyle show but we DID get accepted for The Roland Reading Show. I was going to ask if you’d come on with me and back me up,’ she stated.

  Flic shook her head. ‘No, really, what’s your favour?’

  ‘That’s it. Peter and I are going on a show called, “I Paid A Prostitute To Honey Trap You…..But Don’t Give Up On Me.” Would you come on and tell your part of the story?’

  ‘What? No! I am NOT a prostitute!’ Flic squealed.

  ‘Come on, there’s no such thing as bad publicity,’ Scarlett urged.

  ‘Forget it!’

  ‘Think it over. And talk it over with Vicky. What were you going to ask me?’ Scarlett promptly changed the subject.

  ‘I need you to check Vicky’s address book and get me Magnus’s address, but don’t tell her,’ Flic asserted. She doubted if Scarlett could be trusted to keep quiet but she had no other way. She’d found too many different addresses for him online to know which one was his home, there was no sign of an address book in Adam’s belongings and she couldn’t just phone up Magnus and ask him. That would arouse suspicion.

  ‘I don’t need to look it up. He’s staying in Bridge Street,’ Scarlett sniffed.

  ‘That was easy,’ Flic muttered.

  ‘He rents it on a weekly basis because he’s always moving around. Vicky raved about how fancy it was,’ she went on, letting a hint of jealousy slip. Flic presumed Scarlett was wishing Peter had as much money as Magnus.

  ‘Any idea which number?’ Flic pressed.

  ‘No, but it’s one of the fancy flats. You know the ones I’m talking about?’

  ‘Yeah. Thanks,’ Flic muttered. She was already mentally planning her reconnaissance work.

  Flic had spent the previous night tossing and turning in bed. She had alternated between snarling at Adam’s loudly snoring head and berating herself for having started HunE-trap Investigations in the first place. She couldn’t wait to get home tonight and have a couple of bottles of wine to send her off to sleep.

  The messes were stacking up: Vicky’s relationship; George’s re-appearance in her life; Pamela’s involvement in their work; the lies they were telling Adam and Magnus about the Diana profile and now Scarlett’s determination to tell the whole world about their business on The Roland Reading Show.

  At around six o’clock she had cut her losses and got out of bed, deciding that sleep was not an option, for that night anyway. No amount of thinking was helping her decide what she should do about all the problems mounting up. She knew she had to get more information though. She had to find out if Magnus and Lumi were really together or if this was just a hunch. She needed solid evidence.

  Already that morning she had visited the shopping centre where Lumi used to sell her magazines. She’d met the new Big Issue seller, bought a copy, introduced herself and said she was an old friend of Lumi’s and was hoping to catch up with her for a drink some time.

  ‘A drink? I thought she was an alky?’ the new seller had replied.

  Flic had forgotten that Lumi was an alcoholic. Of course. Lumi had told them the day they met her. Flic told herself to remember this and carried on her with her interrogation, asking if the new guy knew where she could find Lumi.

  ‘Aye, she’s working at a wee stall upstairs. She’s the lassie that sells the fairy cakes. Nice, but too dear for me to buy. Extortionate. It’s always busy though. She must be making a fortune. Her and her boyfriend hand out the ones going stale to the hostel.’

  That sounded like Magnus. Trying to save the less fortunate from hunger with cupcakes.

  ‘I think she used to stay there once upon a time, but she moved in with some gays and then after that she got in tow with the boyfriend. I heard he’s got a bit of money.’

  Was that what happened? He was on a mission to save this homeless girl and ended up falling for her? What about V
icky? Flic was struggling to keep her anger in check. How could Magnus possibly be part of an organisation trying to expose cheaters when he was one himself?

  She checked her watch. It was just after eleven now. She had been sitting in Starbucks for over an hour hoping the answer to the multiplying problems in her life would appear in her Frappuccino. She stared down at her iPad and examined the cupcake design app she had downloaded a couple of weeks ago, smiling wryly to herself at the irony.

  ‘I don’t think that cake would go as well with your Frappuccino as this one,’ a voice teased from behind her. She turned to see Magnus standing, clutching a mint green paper bag in one hand and a brown iced cupcake with chocolate sprinkles in the other.

  Flic studied him for a second. His arms were covered in goosepimples due to the scarf, short sleeved shirt and no jacket combination he wore whenever it was freezing outside. His cheeks and nose were rosy. He grinned at Flic, unperturbed by her cold stare. She supposed he was used to her frostiness towards him. She’d never warmed to him. She had even less reason to be nice to him now.

  ‘What are you doing here?’ she barked.

  ‘Keeping an eye on my investments,’ he winked back.

  Flic was half-glad he was there. She wouldn’t have to do her reconnaissance work and stake out his flat waiting for Lumi to go in or out after all. ‘Did your girlfriend make that?’ Flic ventured, raising one eyebrow.

  Magnus’s grin slipped and he placed the cake down in front of Flic. He smoothly swivelled himself around and into the chair opposite her and met her stare.

  ‘Got it from the stall in here,’ he covered. Flic noted he avoided answering the question outright.

  ‘Ah yes, the foreign baker,’ Flic spat. ‘What’s her name again?’

  ‘Diana,’ Magnus replied.

  ‘Is it? Is it really?’ Flic mocked, laughing loudly.

  Magnus swept up some spilled sugar from the table into his palms and threw it over his shoulder. ‘What’s wrong Felicity?’

  ‘One: That’s not my name. Two: It’s salt you’re supposed to throw over your shoulder, not sugar, you half-wit. And three: I want to know if Vicky knows about you and cupcake-bitch.’

  ‘Why would I tell Vicky?’ he squirmed.

  Flic stared at him. Her eyes locked with his and she held the stare until he finally looked down at his lap. The guilt he felt was clear from his expression.

  ‘Vicky and I never made each other any promises. Neither did Diana and I. She started staying at my flat after I gave her the job. I felt sorry for her. She was homeless. Now she’s fallen for me. I can’t help it, I turn her on,’ he shrugged.

  ‘Oh for fucks sake! She’s not a fucking light switch, she’s a person!’ Flic snapped.

  ‘What was I supposed to do? She was homeless when I met her. If I break up with her, she’ll be homeless again. I can’t have that on my conscience,’ he whined.

  ‘Be honest, perhaps? Honesty is a fabulous thing. Keeps life simple.’

  ‘Well, it looks like I’ll have to start being more honest because Diana somehow found out I’ve been seeing Vicky. Now she’s giving me grief saying she wants exclusivity. I don’t know what her problem is,’ he complained with a shake of his head.

  In her mind, Flic imagined herself reaching over and ripping a big chunk of that long thick blonde hair out of his head and forcing it into his mouth. She folded her arms to resist that urge and resumed staring at him.

  ‘There would be nothing wrong with having two girlfriends if you were honest with them about what you were doing,’ she scolded.

  ‘I never said I wanted a relationship with either of them, they just assumed,’ he pouted.

  ‘You’re unbelievable!’

  ‘Do you think this is easy for me? If I choose Vicky, Diana will go back to her old ways and become homeless again. If I choose Diana, Vicky might get depressed again. I can’t win! I have someone’s downfall on my conscience, no matter what I do.’ Magnus tutted.

  ‘Oh, don’t give me that “woe is me” attitude. You’re a sleaze. And did you ever think that maybe they’d be just fine without you?’ she spat.

  ‘If I keep it going for a few months, Diana will make enough money with her cakes to get a flight back to Poland and she’ll be out of our lives for good,’ he insisted.

  ‘Poland?’ Flic blinked.

  ‘Yes, she’s Polish.’

  Flic felt her face contort with confusion. Diana? Poland? There was something amiss.

  ‘How did she come to be here then if she’s Polish? And how did you meet her?’ Flic pressed.

  ‘She was working as a chambermaid in London. She split from her boyfriend, hit the bottle and things got a bit mental. She came up here looking for an old friend and they’d moved on. She had nowhere to stay and ended up homeless and penniless. I met her when she sent me an add on Tête-a-net. She was looking for people in Inverness to be friends with, and she found me. I recognised her from my volunteer work at the shelter, went and found her the next day and offered to help her start her business. We hit it off. Within three hours we were in bed…’

  ‘Just stop right there,’ Flic cringed and held up her hand, not wanting any more details. The thought of Magnus and his bedroom antics was enough to put her off her Frappuccino. And it was all she needed to know. Of course, that’s why Lumi was learning Polish. It made sense to Flic now. She didn’t just steal the honey’s name. She stole her whole identity.

  Flic grabbed the cupcake he had offered earlier from the table and wrapped it in a napkin before placing it in her fake snakeskin handbag. She wanted the last word and a dramatic exit but she wasn’t letting the cake go to waste.

  ‘Make a choice or I’ll make sure Vicky takes the decision out of your hands,’ Flic warned. She stood and turned to leave, without waiting for his reply.

  *****

  Flic slung her bag over her shoulder and stomped through the tiled shopping centre, almost skidding on her heels on the slippery floor more than once as she searched the building for a cake stall. She knew roughly where it might be and her hunch proved right.

  She halted as soon as she saw the slender figure and long blonde hair. She examined the way Lumi had dressed herself – like the stereotypical fifties housewife – wide bottomed white and red polkadot halterneck dress which looked suspiciously like it had been padded out with petticoats, matching shoes and cherries in her hair, which had been lightened at some point in the last few weeks. Her lips were stained red and her hair was pinned back at the sides, with the rest falling in soft honey coloured curls. Lumi was going all out to look as different from the homeless girl who had sold The Big Issue as possible. If Flic hadn’t known the truth, she would never have guessed they were the same person.

  She inched toward the stall, not taking her eyes off Lumi for a second. In her mind she saw herself catching Lumi’s eye from a distance and keeping her waiting for longer than necessary while she slowly crept towards her. Instead Lumi began serving an elderly lady while Flic reached her sooner than planned. She found herself awkwardly waiting for the pensioner to find the right change and for Lumi to redecorate the cake for her. All the while, Lumi noticed Flic waiting and had time to prepare herself. Flic cursed her luck, wondering how she had come to be the one who was kept waiting.

  ‘Good morning, welcome to Hepcat Cupcakes. Can I interest you in a cake today?’ Lumi smirked at Flic.

  Flic flashed a bright smile and stared Lumi square in the eye. ‘No, but you can get yourself a man who doesn’t have a girlfriend already,’ she responded and met Lumi’s smirk with one equally vitriolic.

  Lumi picked up a cupcake with pink icing and pretended to show it Flic. ‘Magnus is watching us from behind that pillar over there. Pretend you’re buying something.’

  Flic examined the merchandise and took her purse out of her bag. She looked at the other cakes on the stall. ‘I spoke to Magnus. He knows that I know you’re together. He doesn’t know that I know you’re not a Polish girl called Di
ana.’

  The two women looked at each other again. Flic tried to unscramble her own statement in her mind and work out if it had made sense. She thought it did, but she was starting to get a little bit confused herself.

  ‘I know. He just texted me.’ Lumi used her hand to gesture that she was talking about the cakes to Flic. ‘What do you want from me Flic?’ Her smile stayed fixed.

  ‘I want you to be yourself, stop pretending to be Diana, leave Vicky’s man alone and fuck right off,’ Flic asserted, pointing to different cakes she pretended to want as she made each point.

  ‘I’m sorry I can’t do that,’ Lumi replied, nodding as she used tongs to pick up the cakes and box them. ‘He’s MY boyfriend. I live with him. Perhaps Vicky should leave HIM alone?’

  ‘I see. That’s how it is then, eh? Well, how about I tell Magnus who you really are? A Romanian called Lumi? An opportunist? How does that suit you?’ Flic passed a ten pound note to Lumi.

  ‘Go ahead.’ She nodded and exchanged the note for the box of cakes and a few coins, then smiled brightly at Flic. ‘And I’ll tell George Goodbody that his ex wife is so obsessed with him, she’s trying to break up his new marriage. Have a lovely day!’

  Flic almost dropped the box as she watched Lumi turn and begin to serve a new customer. What had she said? George Goodbody?

  Who was this woman? And why was she hell-bent on destroying their lives?

  17

  To: diana@hepcatcupcakes.com

  From: fx@hunEmail.com

  Date: 8th March

  Subject: Your promotional flyer

  Diana,

  You put a promotional flyer in my bag of cakes today. It has your email address on it. Are you the only one who checks these emails or does Magnus see it too?

  Flic

  *****

  To: fx@hunEmail.com

  From: diana@hepcatcupcakes.com

  Date: 8th March

  Subject: Re: Your promotional flyer