Crazed Hearts: Grimm’s Circle, Book 3

by Shiloh Walker

  Chapter Eight

  Crazy dreams.

  She’d been having crazy dreams ever since that book had fallen into her hands.

  In some of them, she’d gone and turned into a fucking nympho, having sex as often as she could, wherever she could, with whomever…and sometimes, several whomevers. She’d never been into adventurous sex, but those dreams, sometimes she wasn’t just having sex with a guy—sometimes it was two or three guys, or even a guy and a couple of women. It wasn’t just the sex that made her so uncomfortable though, it was the way it felt…like somebody was almost pushing on her. Needing to push it on her.

  There were other dreams like something had settled inside her and was riding her, feeding off her rage, off her jealousy, off her anger. Once she’d been sucked dry, it reached out through her and found others through her, friends, family, lovers.

  Dreams where she was nothing but a monstrous rage, lost inside herself, and she needed to hurt as much as she needed to destroy. Needed to tear, and rend, and feed…even thinking of those dreams was enough to have her ready to empty her stomach, so she tried not to think about them.

  In other dreams were those voices that offered her endless promises, showed her some incredible life. She could be young, strong, healthy…for always. For a price, just a small, simple price.

  Such confusing, horrid dreams.

  But they were just dreams, and even as real as they felt, Aileas had no desire to live forever, and she wasn’t so stupid to believe she could have youth and beauty without a major cost.

  This dream though, it felt different.

  It didn’t seem to be about her at all.

  There was nothing, nobody that Aileas recognized.

  She didn’t even recognize the time.

  Two children, a woman.

  There was a woman, and there was something familiar about her, but Aileas couldn’t figure out what.

  There was a man…at least he looked to be a man, but something about him screamed monster. Something about him screamed wrong.

  The children, a girl, probably just dancing on that verge between childhood and young adulthood, twelve, perhaps thirteen, and a boy, a year or so older. He was taller, but he looked ill. Skinny, almost to the point of being scrawny, with huge, bony wrists and hands, shoulders that looked too big for his gaunt frame.

  The woman was petite and she looked terrified, so terrified, wringing her hands and looking back and forth between the man and the children.

  Of them all, only the boy stood tall and unbroken.

  And his eyes, dark and compelling, they tugged at some memory, but Aileas couldn’t quite remember why.

  There was strength in him. The kind of strength many grown men didn’t possess. So skinny, so tired, and although the boy looked weak and frail and sick, he didn’t back down as the man came circling around him and the girl, closer and closer, eyeing them the way a dog would eye a bone. The boy pushed the girl behind him, protecting her, and the man laughed…like this had amused him.

  The man reached for the boy, but just as his long, snakelike fingers would have touched the boy’s arm, the dream shifted, then shattered.

  The last thing Aileas remembered seeing was the long, greedy shadow extending from the man’s fingers. Like something trying to reach inside the boy…

  She came awake with her heart knocking against her ribs, a cold sweat on her body and her breath rattling in and out of her lungs.

  Fear gripped her, and for long, long moments, she didn’t know where she was.

  The warmth of the arm around her waist was oddly soothing, but she knew it shouldn’t be.

  It was a man’s body behind her, and she knew damn well there wasn’t a man in her life, so why was there one in her bed?

  Except…this wasn’t her bed. That was a problem.

  It was a lot nicer than her bed, cradling her like a plush, yet somehow firm cloud. The blankets were thick and soft, and the linens smelled a little like lavender and herbs and a lot like warm and sexy male.

  Still, that didn’t explain how she was in some guy’s bed.

  She chanced a look down, saw the dusky-skinned arm around her waist, and the black leather cuff at his wrist. Some bit of memory started to wiggle free. She remembered seeing that cuff. She hadn’t focused on it an awful lot, but she remembered it. Remembered that arm it was attached to, the hand…the body.

  The spit in her mouth dried up and she swallowed, trying not to panic.

  Holy shit, she’d just had sex with a guy who really wasn’t much more than a total stranger. Holy shit.

  Ren.

  She’d spent the night in bed with Ren.

  Gorgeous Ren with the mysterious black eyes, the wicked pirate’s grin and a way of pretending to be slightly off his rocker. An act. It had to be act, right?

  Oh, shit.

  She needed to get out of here.

  She dared a glance at the skylight over the bed and was startled to see bright swathes of sunlight streaming in.

  Sunlight.

  Good.

  That was good. It meant it was morning. She could find her car. Get the hell away from here.

  It was daylight and she could find it in the daylight, no problem.

  She just needed to get away…

  Behind her, he sighed and shifted, pushing his knee closer to her thighs, almost wedged between them. That damn near had her whimpering as it pressed his cock against the crevice of her butt.

  Get it together, Aileas. She could do this. Get away without waking him, without alerting whoever was on her trail…

  The book.

  That voice was an unwelcome whisper in her mind as she went to put her feet down on a cool hardwood floor. He has the book. You cannot let him keep it. He will do terrible things with it. Bring the book with you. Only you can keep it safe.

  Safe…she couldn’t keep it safe. The damn thing was driving her insane. She didn’t even know what was real or not. She’d fallen into bed with a man she didn’t know, she’d up and abandoned her life, she was hearing voices, all kinds of crazy shit that hadn’t started until she’d found that damn book buried among her brother’s possessions.

  And why in the hell did she need to keep a book safe anyway?

  She was having a hard enough time keeping herself safe lately.

  Besides, she couldn’t even hope to find it, not without waking him up.

  Slowly, she took one step, then another. The floorboards creaked under her feet and she winced, darting a quick look over her shoulder. In the dappled sunlight coming through the skylight, he looked relaxed, his eyes closed, the arm he’d curled around her waist still there, as if he still held her while she slept.

  Part of her wanted to be back there—right there, pressed against his chest.

  Safe. You want to be safe? Go back over there and lie down. He’ll keep you safe.

  Something punched through her mind, penetrating the wispy barrier that sometimes protects dreams from the waking mind. It superimposed over Ren’s sleeping face and she saw the boy from her dreams.

  Shifting to protect a young girl from a man who was a monster.

  Ren.

  Aileas swallowed.

  Shit, she really was going insane. Tearing her gaze away, she focused once more on the door. She needed to get out of here. Find her clothes. Get out. Find her car. Get out.

  Find the book, the silky seductive book whispered. Find me…look. I will help you.

  “I can’t,” she whispered, her voice harsh.

  She didn’t even realize she’d spoken outloud.

  Yes, you can. I’ll show you.

  Against her will, she felt something tugging on her, drawing her gaze. Back to the bed.

  No…under it.

  Look.

  No.

  Ren waited until she’d crept away from his bed and into the bathroom before he opened his eyes.

  That internal battle of hers had damn near exhausted him, and she didn’t have near the resources to fall
back on that he did.

  Sighing, he sat up and listened as she moved around in the other room, scrambling to gather up her clothes. Something pecked against the window and he glanced over, saw Bo there. He opened the window and smiled as the owl flew in and settled on his shoulder. He winced a little as the talons dug in. “Watch it there,” he murmured.

  Bo eased up on the pressure and rubbed his crest against Ren’s head. “Yes, yes, I know.”

  He held up his arm and Bo hopped onto it. “You need to be out of sight,” he murmured. “I have to go see to her.”

  Bo gave him an injured look, but Ren ignored it and took the owl to the room that had been Mandy’s.

  Aileas was already on edge. He could feel it.

  Oddly enough, it didn’t have him hovering on the brink the way mortal emotions always did. He wanted to help…soothe.

  Protect.

  As he came out of Mandy’s room, he glanced back toward his bed and shot the space below a dark look. What he needed to do was burn that blasted tome. But first…Aileas.

  There was a pair of trousers over the back of a chair and he grabbed them, tugged them up over his naked hips before he moved into the main part of the cabin.

  Curious to see if she’d slip away, he lay back down just before she opened the door. He closed his eyes, listened as she emerged.

  Judging by the state of her thoughts, there was no question…yes, she was going to just slip away. At least that was her plan.

  Sorry ,love. We can’t have that.

  Grimly, he opened his eyes and climbed out the bed, watching as she scurried around, unaware of him.

  She was trying to be quiet, and if he had still been mortal, it likely would have been quiet enough.

  Bracing a shoulder against the bedpost, he hooked his thumbs in the pockets of his trousers and watched as she scrambled around looking for her shoes. The worn denim jeans she wore clung to her nicely rounded arse. He spent a few seconds admiring the view as she crawled around looking for her shoes and muttering.

  When she straightened up, she was flushed and flustered and it only got worse when she finally sensed his presence.

  Her spine stiffened and she turned slowly, staring at him across the expanse of the living room.

  “Taking off so soon?”

  “I need to,” she said, her voice unsteady.

  Ren nodded. He’d heard the book calling to her. If something that was supposed to be inanimate had been whispering to him like that, he’d want some distance as well.

  Still, he couldn’t let her leave.

  Not until he knew she was safe.

  Even then, he didn’t think that he’d want her to leave.

  That was another matter altogether though.

  Entirely.

  “What about whoever or whatever is after you?” he asked quietly.

  She stilled, the blood draining out of her face. “Who said anything was after me?”

  Ren snorted. “Oh, come on, love. Do I look like a fool?”

  Aileas just stared at him.

  “You’re running, and you’re running hard.” Ren pointed at her. “When you run that hard it’s because something is chasing you. What are you going to do…run until you’re too tired, and then collapse? Then what will happen to you?”

  “Maybe there’s no reason for me to run anymore,” she said, her chin jerking up.

  He lifted a brow. Oh, was she hoping that leaving the book with him would deflect their interest? Part of him wondered if he shouldn’t be insulted, or hurt. Except he knew he was far more equipped to deal with the problems. Aileas was far more perceptive than the typical mortal, and gifted. That empathy of hers probably gave her some knowledge—she knew he was more equipped to deal with the book. On some level, even if she didn’t acknowledge it.

  Except Ren didn’t think it was just the book the demons wanted.

  They had her scent now and they wanted her. They wanted the book, but her too. The fact that she’d resisted the book as long as she had probably just made her that much more enticing.

  Ren didn’t like her being an enticement to demons.

  He didn’t want her touching his world at all.

  “And what if you’re wrong?” he asked. He hated watching that fear creep into her eyes, but fear could keep a person alive. He should know. Fear, rage…ugly, nasty emotions, but they could keep a person alive for a good, long while. “What if you’re wrong and the moment you leave this house, you walk out there with a target on your back?”

  She set her jaw. “Are you proposing that I stay here for the rest of my life?” she asked, jerking a shoulder. Sinking down on a chair, she put her shoes on, giving that task a rather focused amount of attention.

  “No. But perhaps you could tell me what’s going on. Perhaps I can help.”

  She stilled. Without lifting her head, she glanced at him through her lashes. “You can’t.”

  “How do you know?”

  She just shook her head. “Trust me. If I even tried to explain it, you’d think I’d lost my mind.”

  Ren laughed. He shifted around and leaned back against the bedpost, staring straight ahead. “Lost your mind,” he muttered. Oh, that was a rich one.

  Half the known world had more or less considered him the poster child for insanity, and perhaps they weren’t so far off in some ways. There had been a time…a period of weeks, months, even years, that were lost to him…where he had been lost to insanity, lost in a darkness so complete that it was a miracle he had emerged with any measure of sanity left.

  Will, damn him, had pulled him out of that hellhole, but his grip on sanity had been so fractured—hell, his very humanity had been fractured at that point.

  Turning his head, he met Aileas’ gaze. “Trust me, there’s nothing you can tell me that would surprise me, and nothing you can say that would make me think you’d lost your mind.”

  “You’re wrong,” she muttered, rubbing her hands together.

  “Try me.”

  “No.” She grabbed her jacket from the floor and shoved her arms into the sleeves. “I need to go.”

  Uncoiling from his relaxed pose, he sauntered over and blocked her before she could reach the door. “That’s not a good idea,” he said. “It’s not safe.”

  “You can’t keep me here.”

  “Well, actually, I could. But I won’t.” Not unless you force me…please, Ali. Don’t force me.

  “I just don’t want you leaving when I know you’re going to walk into a world of hurt. You do have something after you, you know. You’ve felt it, sensed it.” He studied her soft, dark eyes, watched as fear shifted and swam in their depths. “And I can tell without even touching you that I’m right.”

  He laid a hand on her cheek. A double bolt of sensation struck him—the feel of her skin and the intensity of her fear slammed into him. One flooded him with need. The other flooded him with rage. “I’m right, aren’t I, Ali?” he whispered, stroking his thumb over her lip.

  She closed her eyes and swallowed.

  “Tell me what’s going on. Let me help.” Trust me.

  “You’ll think I’m crazy,” she said, forcing the words through clenched teeth.

  He smiled. “No. I can promise you, I won’t.” Dipping his head, he pressed his brow to hers and murmured, “Look at me.”

  Her lashes lifted and once he could look into her sad, troubled eyes, he said, “Let’s strike a bargain. You tell me what is going on. And if I’m wrong, if you surprise me, if I start thinking you’re losing your mind, I’ll let you walk out that door without a qualm. I’m telling you the truth, and you can feel that, I know you can. But if I’m right, if you don’t surprise me, you stay here…and let me help.”

  “And how will I know…” She scowled, her voice trailing off.

  Through their physical contact, Ren felt it when she answered her own question.

  Just as she felt the slow, gradual rise of his desire.

  He’d woken wanting her, but the insidious
whispers from the book had quickly dampened that, and her own fear, her determination to leave had killed the rest of it. All it had taken was to touch her again and he wanted her again. Here, right here.

  Right now.

  And once she agreed to stay…

  He caught her lower lip between his teeth and nipped it gently. “Do we have a bargain?”

  “It’s a strange bargain, you know. If you suspect I’m insane, you should be pushing me to a psychiatric hospital, not out the door on my lonesome.”

  “Not an answer, Ali.”

  She sighed and leaned against him, resting her hands on his chest. He felt the echo of the dull flush rising up to stain her cheeks red. She really, really didn’t want to tell him.

  He stroked a hand up her back. He wished he could reassure her, but he wanted—no, he needed her to trust him with this. Needed it like he needed air.

  She pushed away from him with a sigh, moved over to the chair and curled up on it, drawing her knees up to her chest. She gave him a sour look. “You know, I realize in a few minutes you’re going to be looking at me and saying so long, have a nice life, but I really hate to think that some guy I had fantastic sex with is going to look back and think ‘man, that chick was insane’.”

  Ren scooped her up in his arms and then sat down in the chair, wrapping his arms around her to keep her from pulling away. “I won’t,” he said softly. “Now, start talking.”

  The words kept trying to stick in her throat.

  Aileas stared at the wall, wishing he would let her go. It was so much harder to do this when he was touching her. She kept her mental walls up, blocking him out because she couldn’t stand to feel it when he started thinking she’d lost her mind.

  “It all started when I found this book,” she said softly. “I found it a few days after my brother died. At first, I didn’t think much about it, just threw it in one of the boxes to take to my house and sort through. Everything at his place was such a mess. It wasn’t like him. He used to be so… Well, he was kind of a neat freak. Obsessed even. One of those types who never have a thing out of place, never had a speck of dust. But not lately. It was like he just wasn’t himself the last few weeks before he died. Anyway, I found the book when I was going through things, and for some reason, I couldn’t leave it there. It didn’t feel right leaving it in his place, or tossing it in with the stuff for Goodwill. He had it buried in his closet. I took it to my place. That first night, I started having nightmares.”