The Dragon of Despair

by Jane Lindskold

  Queen Elexa liked asking Firekeeper for tales of the wolf-woman's adventures, sometimes about those things that had happened since Firekeeper came to the human lands west of the mountains, more frequently about Firekeeper's childhood among the wolves. Firekeeper was happy to tell the queen what she could and learned not to be astonished by what amazed the queen.

  In return, especially as her cough began to heal and she could talk more easily, Queen Elexa would tell stories. She shared Firekeeper's fascination with the comet and told her stories that purported to explain its presence in the skies.

  One story said a comet was a giant horse with a burning mane and tail that had broken from its place pulling the wagon that hauled the sun through the sky. It ran and ran, hoping to get free from the harness that still trailed behind. In another story, the comet was a dragon, breathing a steady stream of fire.

  This last tale prompted a long discussion, for Firekeeper had never really thought about dragons, though she'd heard them mentioned frequently, especially in New Kelvin. She'd seen dragons depicted in heraldry, but had believed that they were just poorly drawn lizards. Queen Elexa told her otherwise, showing her brilliant paintings in bestiaries.

  "But are these real things?" Firekeeper asked, looking at the drawings of dragons and other fantastic beasts.

  "I never thought so," the queen admitted, "but then I never thought that there were wolves like Blind Seer."

  The Royal Wolf woke from his drowse in front of the fire to comment:

  "But what an impressive revelation I have been!"

  Firekeeper must hide a grin then or explain. Months earlier she had decidedùencouraged by the wolves themselvesùthat it was best that the humans believe simply that Blind Seer and Elation were fine animals, but animals nonetheless. Her early efforts to explain otherwise had mostly been frustrating. Now she didn't even try.

  A few of her friends, Derian, certainly, and probably Elise and Doc, had their suspicions. Firekeeper didn't mind, but she no longer made any effort to represent Blind Seer as anything other than a wolf. She didn't even protestùthough not long ago the thought would have sent her into furiesùwhen some mistook the blue-eyed wolf for a dog.

  Although Firekeeper enjoyed her visits with the king and queenùand with Citrine, when the girl was saneùfirst among her friends at the castle was Holly Gardener.

  Holly was an older woman, retired from her position as head gardener of Eagle's Nest Castle. She had passed on the responsibilities of acting as head gardener to her son Timin, but she remained busy about the various gardens.

  Even now, with spring providing more rain than warmth, Holly could usually be found outside, leaning on her stick as she moved from bedding area to bedding area, encouraging the young growing thingsùso at least it seemed to Firekeeperùwith her very presence.

  Gardening in all its forms impressed Firekeeper to no end. As a human art, it ranked right up with music and dancing in her estimation, and perhaps slightly above these, no matter how much she enjoyed them both. Music and dancing were, after all, entertainment only. Gardening was both entertainment and a means of providing food. The wolf-woman had lived through too many lean times to not be impressed by an art that guaranteed good things to eat, even in the leanest winter months.

  "And you're not bored with potatoes and turnips," Holly said to her. "That's a good thing. Of course, most people don't have the option of broadening their cold cellar's contents with a duchess's venison."

  Firekeeper overlooked the teasing and continued trying to get a feel for the spade she was using. Unlike the bow, which she had taken to with ease, or the swordùwhich she could use, but was less than adept withùor her beloved Fang, a shovel remained clumsy in her hands.

  "That's because," Holly said with a great deal of insight, "you don't get immediate rewards from your work. A bow, now, that's very satisfying. 'Twang' and a goose-feathered shaft is sailing through the air. If you're lucky you even get something nice to eat. With a shovel, all you get is more dirt."

  Firekeeper persisted in her efforts, though, and by the time they retired to Holly's cottage on the grounds she had turned over several rows and raked them ready for planting. She was muddy, too, but Holly had suggested she bring a change of clothing with her. By the time tea was ready Firekeeper was warm and dry.

  Changes of clothes and hot baths are, Firekeeper thought, two of the nicer things about how humans live.

  There was a knock at the door just as she was reaching for her first hot buttered biscuit. Holly called out:

  "Come in!"

  Firekeeper swiveled on her stool by the fire. She'd expected Robyn or Dan, Holly's grandsons. However, Derian was the guest who entered, ducking his tall form just a touch to get under the low lintel of the cottage door.

  "Fox Hair!" she cried in delight.

  She'd been hunting when Derian arrived from the North Woods and, though they'd met a time or two since, she'd seen little enough of him. He, of course, was staying with his family, while she remained at the castle. Although Derian had assured Firekeeper she would be welcome at the Carter house (if not at the stables) and Firekeeper believed him, the wolf-woman was unwilling to take Blind Seer through the city. They'd made the trip a time or two, and it had been stressful for both of them.

  "Am I late?" Derian asked, bowing slightly to Holly. "Has Lady Voracious here eaten everything?"

  Firekeeper looked at him in indignation.

  "We have just started," she said. "Blind Seer hasn't even had his bone."

  "A subtle reminder," Holly said with a smile.

  She hobbled out to the kitchen, returning a moment later with a thick beef bone Firekeeper had brought over earlier. The wolf took it from the old woman with extreme delicacy, even resting the messy thing on the hearthstone rather than the rug.

  Derian waited until Holly was settled before taking his own chair.

  "Firekeeper, I hope you don't mind my inviting Derian," Holly said. "I'd meant to mention his coming earlier, but it quite slipped my mind. You with a shovel was something of a distraction."

  Firekeeper wiped butter from her lips onto the back of her hand.

  "I am not very good with a shovel," she admitted ruefully.

  "And growing worse with a napkin," Derian replied sternly, handing her a square of cloth. "Good manners are for everywhere, not just for King Tedric's table."

  Firekeeper submitted meekly, more because she didn't want Holly to think she valued her less than the king than because she felt particularly abashed.

  "I can free up to leave town in a day or so," Derian said. "I've been waiting until the prince and princess make their announcement."

  "That," Firekeeper said, "will be tomorrow. They have waited so that King Allister will hear first."

  Holly, in whom Firekeeper had already confided the great news in order that she might quiz the older woman about just how humans went about having children and how long it took those children to mature to usefulness and such, looked pleased.

  "I've been bursting at the seams," the elderly gardener admitted. "Just the other day Princess Sapphire's maid was giving herself such airs in the servants' hall. It was all I could do not to burst her bubble. Smug little minxùas if waiting on a princess makes her one herself!"

  "Must run in the blood of those who wait on Shield-born," Derian said. "I recall that Melina's old confidential servantùNanny, they called herùgave herself airs as well."

  "After we have our tea, then," Holly said, "remind me that I have a packet for Derian."

  "Packet?" Firekeeper asked.

  Holly nodded, looking at that moment bent as much by sorrow as by age.

  "Do you remember how once I told you that my daughter, her husband, and their little girl were among those who went with Prince Barden?"

  Firekeeper nodded. She felt sad for the fine old lady. It was clear that over ten years might have blunted the intensity of Holly's loss, but had done nothing to diminish her grief.

  "Well, I'm sending
a few small grave goods for them. Derian and I spoke of this during one of his earlier visits. You, I think, were chasing rabbits."

  Firekeeper frowned. "You and House Kestrel and the king and queen. Derian, we will need more than two mules and a few ponies!"

  "They're all sending small things," the redhead replied with a chuckle. "Like the tokens that go into wedding pouches." Firekeeper felt relieved. "Good then."

  Derian studied Firekeeper as Holly spoke of her daughter's family, but no emotion but compassion crossed the young woman's features. He knew the names of Holly's family: Serena Gardener, Donal Hunter, and Tamaraùthis last the couple's daughter, still too young to have a use-name of her own. In any case, no other identification than a first name probably had been needed in Prince Barden's small colony.

  What Derian was looking for on Firekeeper's face was recognition, for he knewùas perhaps no one other than King Tedric knewùthat Firekeeper really was this lost Tamara, and that Holly, whom the wolf-woman had adopted from personal interest and fellow feeling, was her own grandmother.

  But Firekeeper showed no signs of recognizing any connection between them other than fondness, and Derian was sworn to silence.

  Besides, he thought, aren't ties of love and friendship better than those of obligation?

  The truth of this stayed with him as he sat visiting with the old woman and the young, and his faint feeling that he should tell Firekeeper the full story of her relationship to Holly faded. Instead he thought over the past several days.

  He'd enjoyed his visit home, would be sorry to be leaving again so soon, but Earl Kestrel had offered no difficulty with Derian living at home this summer while continuing in Kestrel employ. Derian could anticipate a long slow spring into summer, working part-time with his father, that routine enlivened by duties for the earl. A trip now would simply give him more stories to tell out under the peach tree in the garden as the family whiled away the hot summer evenings.

  Derian considered telling Firekeeper some of the rumors he'd gathered at the stables, but held his tongue. This lighter conversationùHolly was chivying Firekeeper about the butter running down the young woman's chinùwas pleasant, and he would have time enough to bring Firekeeper up to date as they traveled west.

  "Tell me, Derian," Holly asked, seeming to read his thoughts. "Are you and Firekeeper making this journey alone together?"

  Derian shrugged and offered a rueful smile.

  "There's no saving Firekeeper's reputation where I'm concerned, Holly. I was her body servant for too long. 'Round the North Woods we spread the rumor that Blind Seer will have the throat and heart of any man who so much as looks cross-eyed at her, and that stills most of the talk. I've no doubt the story will have come here with us."

  "A wolf chaperon." Holly laughed. "That's rather unusual."

  Yet true, Derian thought. I wouldn't want to be the man who showed the wrong side of his hand to Firekeeper. Even if Blind Seer held himself back, she would not.

  THEY LEFT EAGLE'S NEST a few days later. Sapphire and Shad's announcement had been received with overwhelming delight by the residents of Eagle's Nest. There was dancing in the streets and the Festival of the Horseùwhich was in process alreadyùtook on the air of an impromptu congratulations party. Derianùwho belonged to the Horse Society and so was already committed to attending the dancing and drinkingùthrew himself into the celebrations with double enthusiasm.

  His head was still a bit heavy and felt about twice its usual size from overindulging the night before when Derian rose the next morning to saddle Roanne. The chestnut mare was skittish, dancing at her shadow, and unsettling the mixed string of mules and mountain horses Derian was taking along. His usual gift for handling horseflesh seemed to have vanished this morning and he found himself particularly glad that his younger brother Brock and old Toad were coming with him around the city and for a day's ride west.

  Firekeeper would intercept him there. They had both agreed that while Roanne was accustomed to Blind Seer, and her habit of dominating any equine company in which she found herself would cause the other animals to eventually come around to tolerating the wolf, there was no need to start the introductions in a crowded urban area.

  Rain fell fairly heavily all that morning and into the early afternoon, adding to Derian's misery. Even Brock's usual exuberance was quelled, though he bounced back easily enough when the sun came out during their lunch break. He was particularly excited about being taken along when their father made one of his annual buying trips to Hope, a town to the south on the border of Hawk Haven and Bright Bay. Colby Carter had promised his younger son his first horse if the boy selected well and wisely. Brock couldn't ask enough questions about conformation, gait, hidden flaws, and all the rest.

  Eventually, Derian had sweated enough of the previous night's indulgence from his system to enjoy the conversation and found himself sorry to see Brock and Toad turn east the next morning while he took his pack string west.

  Derian knew Firekeeper would meet him as planned. She'd come tapping at his window the night before while Toad was in the common room yarning with the other guests and Brock dead to the world, dreaming, doubtlessly, of horses.

  Firekeeper had crouched out on the thatch, looking pleased with herself.

  "I meet you where the near fields end," she had said, "and there are some little woods."

  Derian had nodded. He thought he remembered the place from the year before. As if his nod had been all the acknowledgment she'd needed, Firekeeper had backed away. Although Derian tried to keep her in sight, he hadn't actually seen her depart.

  Nor, the next morning, did he see her reappear. One moment he and his string were making fairly good timeùgiven that the road was sticky with mudùand the next the lead mule was balking and Firekeeper was standing alongside the road.

  She was dressed much as always: bare feet, leather trousers cut off below the knees, and a leather vest buttoned across small but definite breasts. Her hair was much grown out from the severe cutting she'd given it five or six moonspans before, and was just reaching the untidy stage where locks kept tumbling into her eyes. She'd clipped the most troublesome of these back with slim wire pins Duchess Kestrel had given her at that past winter's Wolf Moon festival, but this small effort at tidiness made Firekeeper look, somehow, all the more untamed.

  A heavy leather belt held her sheathed knife on one side, a canteen on the other. An embroidered bag of fine white doeskinùa gift from Edlin Norwoodùheld her flint and steel for fire making. This meager equipment, Derian knew, was all she had brought for a journey that would take them outside of civilization and across mountains that would have barely shaken off winter's grip.

  Blind Seer was nowhere to be seen and Derian, whacking the restive mule with his riding crop, was grateful. The pack animals were jumpy enough, just from catching Firekeeper's scent. He didn't doubt she smelled of wolf, of raw meat, and of other things equally unwholesome to a conservative herbivore's nose.

  "Hi!" Firekeeper said by way of greeting, and Derian could hear the laughter in her voice.

  She trotted across to the lead muleùapparently not minding the cold mud that stuck to her bare feetùpulled herself up onto the mule's back in one easy motion, leaned down, and growled into the beast's long ear.

  The mule froze in place, then slowly, carefully, as if it had suddenly become aware of a stinging bee on its ear, it swiveled its head to get a look at the wolf-woman. She smiled and there was no doubt in Derian's mind that this smile was no friendly gesture but rather an arrogant baring of teeth.

  The mule seemed to melt into itself, its muscles losing their tension all in an instant.

  "There," Firekeeper said happily, moving down the line of pack animals and slapping each one heartily on the shoulder, "they should be good now. I not say they not go crazy if Blind Seer come out, but they have some idea. Not bad to start."

  "Not bad," Derian agreed.

  They moved along briskly after that, the pack animals frantica
lly eager to please. Derian wondered what Firekeeper had said to themùfor he had no doubt that she had said something that had put her on top of their little hierarchy. It didn't bother him. Out here, she was in charge and he was grateful for her expertise.

  He also enjoyed the wolf-woman's high spirits. In many ways Firekeeper reminded him of a horse coming home to a familiar stableùnot that he'd ever share the comparison with her. She just might find it a deadly insult. But her manner was much the same. He almost expected to see her ears prick forward.

  Firekeeper's cheerfully arrogant queen-of-the-woodlands mood did not last for the entire journey. Horse Moon had died and Puma Moon was beginning to show when she grew somber, disappearing for long stretches both night and day. Derian didn't worry. He knew she was safer here than she was in any city in the land. Blind Seer was with her and he had caught glimpses of Elation from time to time, though the peregrine seemed to be attending to her own business rather than following Firekeeper.

  For that matter, Derian himself felt fairly safe. As long as he didn't do anything stupid like lead the pack train onto a bad trail, he was unconcerned about the dangers of the wild. Firekeeper protected him, and every evening as he pitched his camp she brought him some sort of wild delicacyùrabbit or pheasant or fresh fishùfor his meal. Often she added a handful of mushrooms or a bundle of spring greens to augment his supplies further. In some ways, Derian was more comfortable on this trip than he had been with Earl Kestrel's expedition, because his only concerns were for his immediate needs.

  Puma Moon was rounding fat and full the night before they were to cross the gap in the Iron Mountains into the wild lands where Firekeeper had been brought up. The wolf-woman came into Derian's camp that nightùan unusual thing, for she had been exploring most nightsùand squatted with her back to the fire.