Midlife Crisis_another romance for the over 40

by L. B. Dunbar

  And what will I tell Midge? I want her to know everything—no secrets—but I also feel like I’m not ready to expose all until I have answers.

  “I’ll be there.” It will be the first time I’ve visited Kit’s house in almost a decade. Years of recovery after years of self-loathing after the years of her suffering and subsequent death. So many lost years, I sigh, leaning against the Corvette I should be working on, staring at the paint job on Pendelton’s beast before glancing over at my own neglected baby, the black beauty of my Mustang. The half-finished car glares at me like a metaphor for my life. A dream waiting to be restored, only can something old be renewed? Even a classic isn’t the same once it’s been revamped. I think about myself and my love for Kit in comparison. I don’t want to revive a love like I knew. I want a newer model—one unused, untattered, untainted. My eyes drift to Midge. She’s standing near the window that oversees the garage, laughing as she talks to Chopper. He’s taken a real liking to her, and I wonder if he misses the mother he never had. Her smile lights up the place. The sound of her laughter like forgotten music in my ears.

  I love her.

  It hits me hard, right in the chest as I stare at her across a greasy garage and through a dirty window. I love that woman, and I want to make all her dreams come true because I know she’s a dream come true for me.

  First, I need to make this appointment. I have just enough time before my shift at the crisis center.

  + + +

  The night is slow, and sometime around midnight, I decide to call Midge.

  “You still up, baby?” I speak softly into the phone.

  “Hey, yeah. You okay?” I love how she detects in my voice I might not be all right.

  “Whatcha doing up so late, little lady?”

  She yawns. “Working. I’m so close. I just want one more design for Pendelton.” I hear the smile in her voice, and my shoulders relax. I hadn’t realized how tense I’d been since the DNA test. Doc swabbed the inside of my cheek. Like an expectant parent, I’m nervous, anticipating the results. Within seventy-two hours, my entire life will change—one way or another. I could be a father.

  “I like the sound of your voice,” I admit. I close my eyes, imagining the curve of her lips and the hint of her grin.

  “That’s sweet, honey.” My heart skips a beat. She hasn’t called me names like this before. “Slow night tonight?”

  “I think I’m the one who needs to talk.” I doodle on the edge of the desk calendar, scrolling out the design of music notes. I haven’t played in years, and my fingers twitch, shifting the pencil to a drumstick and tapping lightly on the pad of paper.

  “What is it?” Her concern makes my eyes close again. The rapping beat of the pencil increases, the tap-tap growing louder.

  “Can I ask you to go somewhere with me on Sunday, but not tell you where or why yet?”

  “Sure.” She doesn’t hesitate, and the pattering pencil in my hand stops.

  “Don’t want you to worry, though, okay?” Taking her with me on Sunday will be a big step in our relationship. I’m asking a lot of her without telling, but I don’t want her thinking about anything other than her interview in a few days.

  “Okay.” Now, she hesitates.

  “Promise me?” I tease.

  “Yes, I promise.” The breathy sound ripples over my skin, and I’m the one who smiles, blushing at the thought of things I want to do to this woman.

  “You okay?” she asks again, and I pick up the pencil, twirling it around, a rhythm forming in my head.

  “Much better now. How are the boys?” I listen as she talks about her kids. She’s so proud of them, concerned for them, loving them. I let my mind drift, lulled into the comfort of her voice for several minutes. Hearing her stifle another yawn, I suggest I let her go, assuring her I’m much better since we spoke.

  “I didn’t say anything. I just rambled.” She laughs.

  “I could listen to you ramble for the rest of my life.”

  “Hank,” she exhales lightly.

  “Sweet dreams, cupcake.”

  “Of you,” she says quietly before the phone goes dead, and another smile crosses my lips.

  23

  Getting things off your chest…or just getting off

  [Midge]

  I stare at the image, wondering what I’m missing. I’m cutting this design too close, and it reminds me I miss a team of designers.

  “Midge?” My name draws my attention, and I blink up from the desk at Hank. “I’ve called your name like three times, lady.” Concern fills his expression, eyes puzzled, and I laugh.

  “Sorry. I need to finalize this design and then practice my pitch.” I wave dismissively. “I need someone to bounce the last idea off of.”

  “Try me,” Hank says, and I snicker. He’s sweet, but he doesn’t understand too much about what I say regarding my sketches. Then again, he’s a rather attentive listener.

  “I’m going for something masculine. Updated. Pendelton is a traditional housewares company, and they are looking to step it up. I’ve been thinking of contrasts, like chrome edges on china and leather straps on recycled products.” Hank stares at me, and I sense he’s watching my lips instead of listening to my words. “Maybe I should see your place. Might help me get some inspiration.”

  I’m thinking if I scope out a man’s pad, I might get some ideas of what men need and the types of textures they like. Not to mention, it’s a little curious Hank hasn’t invited me to his place.

  “I don’t have a home.” My head snaps upward at the brusque words. Something on my face must concern Hank, because he explains, “I’m not homeless. I just don’t have my own home.”

  I blankly stare at him, waiting for an explanation.

  “I used to…I just don’t anymore. I have a room at Brut’s place.” He swipes a hand back and forth over his head, his hair standing up as a result. I don’t really know how to respond. There’s a story here that Hank isn’t telling me. Saved by the ring of the phone, he steps away as I take the call.

  Later in the evening, I’m still struggling when Hank’s hands cover my shoulders.

  “Why you still here, little lady? It’s late.” He massages gently, and my eyes want to close, but my mind won’t shut down. I’ve been thinking all day about him not having a home and the secretive date on Sunday. He’s being so mysterious, but I don’t have time to decode him. I need to finish this design.

  “The boys are with Paul for dinner. I need to practice my pitch. Guess I didn’t realize how late it was. It’s been busy here today, and I don’t want Brut to think I’m taking advantage of this opportunity.”

  I’ve had to call some suppliers, hound a few others for the parts Brut has been waiting on, and handle Mrs. Prescott, a woman my age who is hot for the garage owner. She’s looking for a bad boy to rev her engine. Although, I’m sensing Brut isn’t into someone who is already married. Her husband’s latest gift is a Mercedes convertible. It doesn’t exactly fit the classic repair and body shop’s normal models, but what do I know about cars.

  “Practice with me. I’ll listen.” Without waiting for a response, he picks up my images and my laptop. I’ve been bringing it here so I don’t clutter up their system, which is permanently pulled up to their server. I follow Hank into Brut’s office, a little leery of his rough handling of my design board. He sets the laptop on the desk and sets the board next to it. Sweeping out a hand, he steps back and takes a seat on the couch.

  I begin.

  Twenty minutes later, I end. Hank stares at me, an arm casually slung along the back of the couch.

  “You are so fucking sexy,” he says, and I gasp. I’m wearing ripped jeans, another cardigan, and my glasses.

  “Hank, were you listening?”

  “I’m sold. I have no idea what you said, but your voice is music to me, and watching your lips move…hmm…mmm…mmm.” I break into laughter, and he waves me toward him.

  He grips behind my knees, and I comb my fingers t
hrough his hair.

  “You just need to relax,” he says, tipping forward so I keep stroking over his head. “You look uptight but sexy when you’re serious. You got this,” he says, speaking to my lower belly.

  “I don’t know,” I whisper, and his head shoots up. He gently presses on the back of my knees, and I collapse, falling forward to straddle him. It’s a little awkward, balancing on his thighs.

  “What don’t you know?”

  I toy with the button on his shirt. He’s changed from his work overalls and wears a clean shirt, open and exposing a white t-shirt underneath. The name etched into a patch reads Hank, and I trace over the design.

  “What I’m doing. This is one of the craziest things I’ve ever done—quit my job and demand an interview from someone. Someone big like Pendelton. What if I bomb this?”

  Hank kisses my neck before sliding me off his lap to the couch and shifting to kneel on the floor between my knees. He rests his elbows on the edge of the cushions, surrounding my legs with his forearms.

  “Lady, listen to me. You are beautiful and intelligent, and you got this. Pendelton is going to eat up those designs because they’re modern and masculine, like you said, and even a guy like me would want them in my house.” He pauses, the idea of him not owning one lingers between us. “Hell, I’d buy the whole collection. He’s going to love them.” Taking my hands, he kisses each one.

  “You know what you need? You need to relax, and then you need a cupcake.”

  “Maybe I need a cupcake to relax.” The suggestion isn’t lost on him. In fact, I think the word relax was code for something else. My jeans are unzipped and tugged down my thighs, all while Hank keeps his eyes pinned to mine. It’s like he’s speaking to me, willing me to understand him as he struggles with my skinny jeans. He remains between my spread knees, dragging me forward so my backside balances on the edge of the cushions.

  “Cupcake it is,” he says, lowering his head and exhaling over my underwear. I’m already wet, the aroma of sex swirling between us. He removes my panties next, taking his time as he gives open-mouth kisses from my thighs to my knees. Once the stretched cotton traps my ankles, his mouth finds my center, and with one forceful lap, I melt into the leather underneath me. Hank’s tongue curls, and my fingers comb into his hair once again. I take calming breaths, releasing the tension of the presentation and falling into the presence of this man. His attention is similar to his mouth on my upper lips, languid and lazy and memorizing every bit of me. I drip with anticipation, slipping deeper and deeper into the euphoria of connecting with him.

  “Better than icing,” he mutters, and I recall the first time his mouth was on me in this very office.

  “Feels so good,” I purr, stroking over his hair and holding his neck. I’m getting so close, the creepy-finger feeling crawling up my inner thighs. I’m almost there when Hank pulls back.

  “Damn,” he says, looking down at me. Hasty hands go to his buckle as he unzips his pants and shoves the material to his knees.

  “I was almost there,” I whimper.

  “I know, little lady, but I want to feel you around me.” He’s still looking at me, and I feel so exposed, so turned on but self-conscious. My knees press together, but his body prevents them from closing. Thick fingers stroke through wet folds, spreading me and reviving the fluttering sensation. I’m building again at his touch, growing desperate for friction.

  “Dammit,” he mutters, fumbling on his knees for something in his pocket. Foil rips. Sheathing himself, I whimper with need. With that, he slams into me, filling me in one swift thrust, causing me to grunt at the force. My back arches until he starts to pull out. I open my eyes to find him watching our connection. I’m more curious about him than what’s happening, but he’s totally enthralled with his body entering mine.

  “Sure like the feel of being inside you, baby. This could be home to me.” I don’t miss the emphasis on a place he doesn’t have, and the hint of something meaningful in what he said. I press his cheek with my hand, and he finally looks up at me.

  “Thank you.” I don’t know why I say it. I’m grateful for him for so many reasons. His attention. His touch. His everything. He retreats to the tip before slowly refilling me, fueling up the feeling of glitter floating inside me. I’m ready to explode, and after a few more slow-paced thrusts, I do. That’s when the hammering begins. Slipping one foot out of the jeans trapping my ankles, he hikes it over his shoulder.

  “I’m not quite that flexible.” I gasp, struggling to breathe with the sudden release and my body jackknifed in half. The rapid fire raises an increasing awareness I could go again. The fast rhythm, deep taps, and hard crash of us together, feeling so full, feeling one with him, builds another orgasm, balancing on a precipice.

  “You there again?” he huffs, the exertion of holding off until I’m ready straining his voice.

  “Hank.” I breathe out his name like I need air, and he pummels me, pounding me into the cushions so quickly, I grunt as we rut like wild animals.

  “More,” Hank groans, and I’m ready to tell him I can’t take anymore when I clench, and he flinches, and we’re coming together.

  “Hank, I…” My voice fades as he stills, and I milk him with spasms, sucking at him while he pulses inside me. If I didn’t know better, I’d swear the position would ensure pregnancy. Thank goodness for his endless supply of condoms. The thought lasts only one second before he leans forward, going for my mouth next, and kisses me with a fierce tongue and greedy lips. It’s nothing like we’ve done so far, and aftershocks of him twitch inside me. We remain connected for several minutes until he pulls back with prolonged, lingering tugs of my lower lip.

  “You’re a queen,” he says before kissing me again. “You’re a superstar.” Another kiss. “You’ve got this.”

  The words empower me, and my mouth curls against his.

  “Better, cupcake?”

  “Better than icing,” I tease, and he kisses me one more time. Slower, more Hank-like. I do feel better. As a matter of fact, I feel a little invincible.

  24

  Champagne Cupcakes

  [Hank]

  I’ve looked at my phone five million times waiting for her call. I told her to let me know what happens as soon as she’s done. Pendelton’s car was delivered around ten this morning, and her meeting was at nine. Brut wanted assurance Midge would make it through the door. He didn’t trust the man who’s been a thorn in our ass for years with his fancy cars and demanding schedule. This rich dick’s toys are our livelihood. Brut’s interest in Midge’s future warms my chest but also makes me want to punch him. He has a crush on my girl—correction, woman—and he pisses me off.

  “Well, aren’t you all romantic?” Brut teases me as I sit at Midge’s desk, staring at the wildflower arrangement and the champagne cupcake in a cellophane package. Lily outdid herself with this one. The frosting shimmers with silvery candy that looks little bubbles from the foam at the top of a flute of champagne. Even the cupcake wrapper looks goldish like the celebratory bubbly, and I thought it would be a nice surprise for my cupcake instead of a glass of the real deal.

  “Shut up,” I whisper harshly, but a smile tugs at my lips. I want to celebrate with her. She worked hard for this, and I’m happy for her success. She deserves it.

  “You really like her, don’t you?”

  “Yeah.” My face heats, then I admonish myself. What am I, fifteen?

  It reminds me of last night …

  When she finished her designs, she was relieved at the final product and convinced it was the best she could offer Pendelton. I decided to take his Bentley for a final ride and invited Midge. We climbed through the hills north of Los Angeles as the sun set off in the west. Pulling over at a lookout, we sit for a minute, quiet in the silence of a day ending. She needs to get home tonight. The boys will be waiting, plus she needs to rest before tomorrow, but I’m happy to have this stolen moment. The words I love you sit in my cheeks. I want to tell her these thing
s but worry it’s too much too soon.

  Her hand covers mine, stroking my wrist and thumbing over the bracelets I’ve begun wearing again.

  “Thank you for this. It’s beautiful.” She stares at the sunset, but I watch her.

  “So are you.” She turns to me, and the need to kiss her takes all my thoughts. I’m ready to give her the quick kiss, just a brush, just a touch, anything to connect with her, but I can’t. I need more. My mouth lingers, my lips tasting, savoring. She leans forward, and within seconds, we are a heated mess, making out like two teenagers parked on a hill in the growing dark.

  “I need to get you home,” I say, and she laughs. We both recognize the irony of a curfew—only in her case, it’s because of her children.

  “Have dinner with us.” The invitation startles me, but I can’t say no to her. I have nowhere to go, and I want to be with her. Before I can answer, she’s kissing me again, pressing into me as her body begs for more. More.

  “I want to take you in this back seat,” I mutter against her lips. She breaks away and surprises me by climbing over the seats.

  “Come join me,” she says, patting the leather interior. There’s no way I can hike my body over the front seat like she did, so I push open the driver’s door and enter through the back, laying her out as I stretch into the rear of the vehicle. I’m too big for the space and sensing our position won’t work, she presses on me.

  “Sit up,” she says, her breaths rasping. We shift, and she straddles me, but not before she loosens my pants and frees me from them so my ass hits the cool leather. Her dress looks like a long t-shirt, and she wiggles to remove her underwear. I chuckle at her haste.

  “In a hurry?” I question, holding my breath for some reason.

  “Greedy,” she says, throwing her legs over mine and positioning me at her entrance. She’s slick and ripe and I want inside. “Condom?”