Midlife Crisis_another romance for the over 40

by L. B. Dunbar

  “We probably shouldn’t be doing this here.” I giggle until he bites my nipple over the cotton material of my exposed bra.

  “If this is my room, I want to christen it properly.”

  I laugh nervously. I agree. I want to be with him, but I don’t want the other couples to know what we’re doing.

  “Maybe we should get back out there and see what everyone else is up to.”

  “Sex. That’s what they’re doing. Each other.” He hesitates between lolling his tongue over the swell of my breast. “Shirt. Off.” He growls, and the vibration of his chest ripples against me. Leaning back, I do as he says and slowly remove my blouse. Hank’s hands squeeze harder at my sides, working his way just under my breasts but not touching me.

  “You’re like a personal lap dance.”

  “Cripes.” I choke, not wanting to consider him ever receiving one, or three.

  “As I’m all about equality, I’ll match you.” He balances me on his legs while he tugs off his shirt in that guy way. Maybe I’m the one who wants the lap dance. That is, him dancing while I sit on his lap. Our skin makes contact as his arms span up my back. He tugs my hair, and I tilt back. This gives him more access to my neck, and he nibbles, teasing me once again by getting close to that spot—the one along my collarbone where he knows I like to be nipped.

  “Little lady,” he whispers, and I know what he wants. He tugs down my bra and forces one achy globe upward. The nipple peaks in his direction, hard and ripe from his attention. “You know I love your tits, baby.” Hank sucks firmly, latching on to worship me. He’ll leave a mark from the suction as well as his scruffy jaw. He releases me with a popping sound.

  “Middy.” He presses back at my hips, forcing me to slip off his lap. He stands, nearly knocking me back, and lowers his pants, including his boxers. Sitting back down, we gaze at one another a moment before I lower to my knees. “Little lady, what are you doing?”

  “I’m christening the room.” My fingers crawl up his thick thighs and circle the silky shaft—erect, solid, and waiting for me.

  “This isn’t what I had in mind.” He teases as he massages my shoulders, and I kiss the tip of him, licking a circle around the crown. “Fuck, baby.” His hands come to the back of my head, fingers delving into my hair. I open and take him in as far as I can, twirling my tongue around him. Flicking over the pulsing vein and lapping at him like he’s my favorite treat, I recall the first time I did this to him. Icing on a cake.

  Hands come under my arms and lift me to stand. He tells me to remove my panties and pats his thigh after the request. Without fully exposing myself, I reach under my skirt and remove my underwear. Hank watches me, and I’d feel self-conscious if I didn’t like the way he looks at me. Possessive. Passionate. All his.

  I climb back over his legs as he holds himself upright. It’s a sexy sight.

  “Like what you see, little lady?”

  “I love it,” I purr, lifting my eyes to his. “I love you, honey.”

  His mouth finds mine, devouring me, forgetting about other intentions for a few minutes. He tugs at my lip as he pulls back.

  “I love you, too, baby. I more you.” My lips curl as he positions himself under my skirt. I rise on my knees a bit, using his neck as leverage. One hand guides his length, the other wraps around my backside, and he slips in. Deep. Penetrating. Fulfilling.

  Suddenly, I feel risqué knowing people might be waiting for us. My skirt covers what we’re doing if someone walks in, but neither of us is wearing a shirt. Then again, Hank’s pants are at his ankles. The moment feels scandalous, but I feel sensual. I roll my hips, building a rhythm against Hank. The pace gives new meaning to lap dancing. Hank holds me by my ass under my skirt, squeezing and encouraging me as I increase the beat. He feels so good like this, so deep, and I’m finding friction in a new way in this upright position. I clench harder than I think I ever have. I’m fighting forces, feeling like I’ll slip off his lap, and holding on tight in an effort to remain connected to him.

  “Don’t drop me,” I mutter, my movements exaggerated, luscious and languid. My head falls back, and I clasp his neck.

  “Never let you fall, baby. I’ll always hold on to you.” I’m forcing myself down on him in a pattern of clench and pulse. My head comes to his shoulder. I want this to be for him, but I’m finding it’s definitely about me at the moment.

  “Lie back,” I whisper into his skin before licking up to the shell of his ear. He brings his shoulder to his chin as he tilts his head.

  “That tickles.” I cover his mouth, but I can’t keep the pace and concentrate, so I draw back and push at his shoulders. I don’t follow him down but stay upright. His eyes never leave me.

  “Tug down the other side,” he says, watching as I follow his command to release my other breast. I cup both and squeeze them together. “Fuck,” he mutters, biting his lip like he has more to say, but now isn’t the moment. I’m still rolling over him, the position filling me as the nub that triggers pleasure finds friction against his pelvis. Hank and I have made love in several positions. I find it unbelievable we can experience something new, but we always do. Each time, it feels different. Each time, it feels like something I haven’t done before because it’s always a first time for me with him.

  “So close, lady.” I don’t know if he means me or him, but I’m almost there when he pins me to his hips. His fingertips squeeze, and the jolt inside sets me over the edge. Sweet cheese, I like the sensation of him jetting off in me.

  Hank pulls me down to his chest, holding me once again like he did with his tears. Both arms wrap around me, pressing me into him. He’s still inside me.

  “I’m sorry I can’t give you babies, honey.”

  “Don’t you worry about that, little lady. You’re all I need.” He kisses my forehead. “But I’d like to have something else with you one day. Maybe a home like this. A permanent place for me with you.” I’m curious if he means an actual house the size of this incredible mansion.

  “I’d like that,” I say, but really, I’d love to just see Hank in my home, joining me in my bedroom.

  “Middy, I don’t want to just have sex with you once in a while and only sleep with you here and there. I want you every night.” My breath hitches as he stole my thoughts, but I try to make light of our shared emotions.

  “Sex every night.” I laugh, teasing him. “I’d be too tired for that.”

  “I’ll let you rest. In between times.” He forces my chin up and draws me down for another toe-curling kiss. He slips out of me, but I don’t move. I don’t think I’ve ever been so happy. His expression grows serious, and my smile slips a little until he says, “I meant what I said. I want more of you, little lady, and then some.”

  39

  A band of brothers

  [Hank]

  I’m nervous although I know what I want, which drives me forward as I enter Midge’s house a week after Gage gifts his wife a house. I’d been thinking about things long before the extravagant present, but this week, I’m determined to carry out my plan. I meant what I said; I want us to blend. I’ve been spending lots of time at Midge’s home and reconsidering my situation at Brut’s. It might be time to move out on my own because it might be too soon to move in with Midge. However, I want to assure her I want the more we talked about. I want us to be together someday sooner rather than later.

  Midge is out tonight with the girls. Ivy’s already shopping for things for the new house. I carry three pizzas because these boys can eat. Setting them on the island counter, I stand around with the guys, chatting about baseball and their summer plans. Their dad is getting married soon, and Elston can’t stand his future stepmother. It worries me he might feel the same about me if I become his stepfather. The idea of being part of this family makes me smile. Elston and I will figure it out.

  We made amends the same evening Midge and I spent the day in bed. I took her on one of our casual dates and then came home with her. I explained a few things about
myself, my past, and my connection with the woman Ronin saw. Ronin opened up to explain how a girl from his band was threatening to kill herself, and Ronin didn’t know what to do. He told the girl he wanted to hang out with her, and then drove to the crisis center where he thought I could help him.

  It broke my heart a little that he came to me, and I wasn’t able to help at the moment, but I told him how proud I was of him to try to take care of his friend. I also thanked him for trusting me to be there and apologized that I wasn’t. He understood after I explained, tears filling his eyes at my story of Stephie compared to his accusation.

  “I was just looking out for Mom,” he said, and I respect that in these boys.

  “Of course, and that makes you a good man. Your heart belongs to your mama first.”

  As soda cans empty and the pizza boxes clear, I realize I only have so much time before Midge gets home.

  “I wanted to talk to you guys about something. Man to man,” I say, looking up at Elston. We’ve come to a silent agreement. He’s the man of the house. I don’t plan to encroach on that, at least not exactly. “You guys know I care about your mom.”

  “Oh no, please don’t talk about Mom.” Elston refrains from using ew, knowing I don’t like it.

  “But he’s got that gooey eye thing going,” Liam adds.

  “What’s the gooey eye thing?” Elston questions, peering down at his younger brother.

  “Where he goes all gooey eyed talking about Mom, like you do when you talk about Eliza,” Liam explains. I laugh. Elston reaches out to cuff his little brother. Eliza is Elston’s new girlfriend. I think having her gives him a little perspective on his mom and me.

  “Okay, well, I more than like your mom. I love her,” I admit, holding my breath as I wait for that to sink in. “And I’d like to ask her a really important question, but I want your permission first. All three of you.”

  “Oh, my God,” Ronin squeaks, covering his lips. A smile breaks out on his face, his bright blue bangs falling into his eyes.

  “What?” Liam asks, looking at his older brother.

  “Hank wants to ask Mom to marry him.” The oldest’s eyes focus on mine. His lips twist. He’s thinking.

  “Typically, a guy goes to a girl’s pop for this, but as your grandparents are in Chicago, and you guys are a touch more important, I’d like your blessing.”

  “What are we blessing you for?” Liam makes the sign of the cross at me like a priest. Elston grabs his hand to lower it.

  “He means he wants us to give him our permission to marry Mom.”

  “That’s cool,” Liam says, shrugging his shoulder. “Can we still live here?”

  “Of course.” I pause. “Well, we need to talk to your mom about that, but I’d like for us to stay here. I’d like to move in here when the time is right.” I figure being honest is the best policy. “But let’s do one thing at a time.”

  “I’m okay with it,” Ronin adds. Elston stands with his arms crossed, his head hanging.

  “What does this mean for us?”

  “Nothing changes. You’re still the man of the house.”

  Liam snorts. “Mom’s the man of the house.” He makes a funny expression, and the boys laugh in agreement.

  “I mean nothing should change for you. Respect your mom at all times, and we’ll have no problem.” I direct my gaze at Elston.

  Elston nods slowly. His voice remains quiet as he says, “Okay.”

  A weight I didn’t realize I was holding lifts off my shoulders, and I open the small brown bag on the counter.

  “I have something for each of you to show I’m committed to you as much as your mother.” Reaching in, I pull out six bracelets. Three of them are woven leather with a silver clasp. The other three are bright blue beads with three brown ones. Liam’s eyes open wide as he stares at the loops. I pass one of each to each of them.

  “When I was in the band, we received a silver band because we were named Chrome Teardrops, and silver is a strong metal, binding us together.” I point at another bracelet I found buried in my drawer and added to the collection on my wrist. “I’m giving you leather ones, like this”—I point at the original band I wear, the one symbolizing friendship between Tommy, Denton, and me—“because, well, you’re younger, and I thought leather would be easier to wear.” I slip a new woven leather from my pocket, matching the ones I’ve given them, and wrap it around my wrist as a symbol of my connection with them. “This has four leather straps as we are four men.” I pause.

  “The second bracelet I wear, the one with brown beads, symbolize how a team needs more than one person and no one person is more important than another in a circle. I’m giving you each a similar one with blue beads to match Elston’s eyes.” His head whips up. “And I want you to remember no one will look out for you more than an older brother.” I think of Brut before adding, “There are three brown beads for Ronin, Liam, and your mom. You’re the family first, but I’d really like to be a part of it.”

  I wait as the boys slip the bands on their wrists, then I add another one to mine. I can’t help the smile on my face as I look around at our matching accessories. My heart gallops. I don’t know if I’ve ever been so happy, but then Midge comes in the back door.

  “Howdy, boys,” she teases, her eyes sweeping over the empty pizza boxes and cans of soda. I might have let Liam have one too many. He’s the first to speak, hopping off his stool and heading for his mom.

  “Look what Hank gave us.” He takes a moment to explain the meaning, and Midge rubs his back while he speaks. Her head comes up after a quick kiss to his forehead.

  “That’s beautiful, Hank. Thank you.” The room grows quiet, and I’m center stage again. This isn’t the big moment, but…

  “I have something for you as well.” I walk around the island, not certain her kitchen is the best place to handle this, but I want the boys as witnesses. “You already know how I feel about you. I love you. Tonight, I told the boys the same thing. I’d like to be part of your family. I’m not pressuring you. There’s no rush, I just want you to know I’m all in. You’re my someone.” I reach into my pocket and pull out a band of tiny cut diamonds.

  “Hank.” She gasps, covering her lips with her fingers.

  “This is a promise ring. A promise that you’re the only one for me, and I want to be the only one for you. I want more. And I promise, one day, I’ll ask.”

  Her head pops up.

  “One day, I’ll ask,” I repeat softly.

  “Yes,” Midge blurts, her eyes filling with liquid, but her face is anything but sad.

  “I don’t want to rush things.” The idea of moving in with her, it’s a big step…another step…in the right direction, but I understand she has the boys, and if I move in, there needs to be a solid commitment.

  “Yes.” Midge giggles.

  “I didn’t ask anything.” I snort, chuckling at her enthusiasm.

  “Yes. To the promise of one day then.” She holds out her left hand, and I slip the ring on her third finger. My own eyes might water a bit at the sight. One day might be too long to wait.

  40!

  He popped

  [Midge]

  The boys have gone to Paul’s wedding. I respectfully declined the invitation, and Hank wants to take me out to celebrate. A real date, he says, although I don’t want to see him all stuffy in a suit. We agree on a drive out to the beach and a casual seafood shack. He has a key to my house, and I hear him let himself in. I’m still in the bathroom, fixing my makeup. I don’t wear much, but I want to look nice, maybe freshen the look a little. I’m wearing another surprise under this dress as he told me how much he really did like the purple number I wore to seduce him. A simple wraparound dress covers me for now.

  As I hear him climb the stairs, I look at the ring on my finger. With little diamonds, it sparkles in the light. It’s not pretentious or flashy, but petite and pretty, like me, Hank says.

  “Middy?”

  “I’m in the bathroom.�
� It’s still bright enough in the early summer evening I don’t need a light in the room. I have a candle burning from the bath I took, taking a few minutes to relax before our night together. The boys will be staying at the hotel with my former in-laws after Paul’s reception, so Hank and I have the house to ourselves.

  He enters the bathroom and stops the second his eyes meet mine in the mirror.

  “You are so beautiful.” He exhales on the compliment, and I blush as he steps up behind me. His cheek presses to mine as he wraps his arms around me from behind. He stares at us a moment.

  “We look good together,” he says to the reflection. We do.

  “We look happy.”

  His smile grows. “I am.” He kisses my neck before looking up at me again. “I’m happy to be your someone.”

  I chuckle at his sweetness. “I’m honored to be your someone.” This earns me another kiss, and he lingers at my neck.

  “You know I want more with you.” It’s a question, but it doesn’t need an answer. I know he wants everything with me, and I’m pleased to give him whatever he needs. His hand slips to mine, and he flattens my palm to force my fingers wide. He peers over my shoulder and down at the ring.

  “Is this the day you promised?” I tease. It’s become an occasional joke.

  “Today?” I’d question. He’d respond with a kiss and say, “Not yet.” He understands I’m teasing. There’s no rush, as he said, although I miss him at night when he can’t stay in my bed.

  “I can’t ask you in the bathroom.” He chuckles against my skin, and I shiver.

  “Yes, you can. Besides, the bathroom is where we met.” His eyes leap up to mine, his arm tightening on my waist, and I grin.

  “Midge,” he groans, staring back at me in the mirror. My smile falls, but it doesn’t disappear. I’m just joking. My body melts into his, holding his silver eyes with mine. He looks at me now the same way he did the first night we met, like he wants to give me something and take something. How strange it is to find it’s love. Both sides. Two sticks for drumming as he once told me. Give and take. It’s a rhythm, and the beat matches our hearts.