The Boss's Love

by Casey Clipper

  "I'm sorry," she whispered.

  "I know."

  "I'm not ready."

  "I know, but I'll help you." He took a step closer and placed his hand on her stomach.

  "But‒"

  "Shhh, you can't do this, honey," he said firmly, not to be trifled.

  Her legs gave out and she collapsed into his strong arms. He cradled her against his chest and kissed her forehead.

  "Baby, I will never allow you to fail."

  "I'm not ready, Darren. I want to spend more time with just you. Relish in our honeymoon stage and learn to be a good wife. Pick up and fly across the world if we want or stay out until two in the morning. If we decide to grab a pizza at four in the morning, after making love to each other for hours, I want to be able to do that without thinking twice." She sobbed into his chest. "What kind of mother could I be? I don't have it in me, Darren. I never have."

  "Of course you will be an excellent mother. You're loving, you're caring, and you'll have me by your side to help you every step of the way," he said devotedly. "This baby is half of both of us. You'll love him or her because of the half of me that makes up our child. If it's a son, you'll adore him because he is my son. If it's a girl, you'll adore her because she'll be my princess."

  When she looked into his eyes, he made sure she felt nothing but love and devotion for her and the possibility of a family. She leaned her head into his chest and sighed.

  "I love you," she whispered.

  "I love you too, baby. Please come home with me," he pleaded. If he got her home and away from the abortion clinic, he knew he succeeded in changing her mind. At least momentarily.

  "Okay," she said, her voice barely audible.

  Darren squeezed her and kissed her on top of the head. "That's my girl."

  He helped her off the ground, slipped her purse off her shoulder, and handed it to Carl, who stood off to the side with Jack. "Take her car, Courtney is coming with me."

  "Yes, Boss."

  Darren led Courtney to his SUV and helped her slide into the back seat. After he situated next to her, he pulled her protectively into his body for comfort. Whether it was for him or her, he wasn’t quite sure. But one thing was certain, once he felt confident her decision to keep the baby was solidified, he planned on lighting into his wife. He was beyond furious.

  ***

  Courtney

  A week after Darren had caught her outside the abortion clinic, Courtney hadn't been allowed to be left alone for one minute. Jack or Carl drove her anywhere she needed to go. To work, to showings, to the store. Never alone. Not that she blamed her husband.

  Her morning sickness continued, creating a new routine of vomiting, ginger ale, and dry toast or saltine crackers to start her day.

  While she waited for Jack to grab the SUV to take her home, Courtney thought about her now strained marriage. His usual surprise visits during her workday had disappeared. No calls to check in on her. Which meant his anger towards her must have been epic. He wasn’t speaking to her except to make certain she ate or asked how she felt. She sighed heavily. What a mess she had created but needed to fix. Immediately.

  Darren

  Darren heard Courtney come into the house but he remained in the kitchen. He refused to greet her. He continued to have a difficult time getting past her betrayal. He hadn’t voiced his anger, afraid she’d go behind his back again but this time succeed in ending the pregnancy. Instead he held his anger close to the chest.

  He heard her step into the kitchen while he continued preparing a grilled chicken dinner.

  "That smells good," she said.

  That surprised him. Nothing smelled remotely appealing to her. Her stomached turned at the slightest scent of food.

  "Are you hungry?" he asked hopeful. He was concerned about her loss of appetite and weight.

  "I am, for a change," she said, giving him her warm, loving smile.

  Unable to help himself, he smiled in return. Even pale and sickly she was the most beautiful creature in the world. He abandoned the dinner and gave her a peck on the lips.

  "Thank you." She choked back on tears.

  Darren pulled away, unsure of what happened. "For what, honey?"

  "For everything." He watched her take a deep breath and close her eyes. When she opened them, she looked at him with a resolve evident. “Give it to me."

  He stared at her. His wife wasn't a stupid woman. But what would she do about the baby if he released his anger?

  "Court..."

  "I won't do anything stupid, Darren." She took in another deep, cleansing breath. "I deserve whatever you’re going to give me. It’ll make you feel better and put us back on track. We haven't been right since that day. I want us normal again. I hate this. I know how much you’d be relishing in this pregnancy but you haven't because of my poor decision."

  Darren's jaw tightened as his mind went back to the moment he got the phone call from Carl that Courtney pulled into an abortion clinic parking lot. Jack couldn't have driven fast enough to get him there. Luckily she had stayed in her car, which gave him the opportunity to confront her. Otherwise he would have gone inside and dragged her ass out of the building. He closed his eyes and vividly recalled the absolute tense minutes until he managed to get her back into his hands.

  He opened his eyes and let loose. "You had no right making that kind of decision without speaking to me,” he bellowed. “And I know why you did it. You knew that I would argue and say no. But you went behind my back, Courtney! How am I ever supposed to trust you again?"

  She gasped, horrified.

  "My baby! My baby! You were willing to get rid of my baby. You had no right. None!" He pegged her stomach. "That baby belongs to me as much as it belongs to you, and you were going to make a life changing decision without me. I would never do such a thing to you. I love you too damn much to do such a horrendous thing to our marriage and your trust, but you took that away from me and from us. Didn't you?" He slammed his fist on the island. His anger had boiled over. He turned, picked up the pan of chicken, and whipped it across the room, shattering everything in its path. He needed to get the hell out of there. He stormed passed her and out of the house. The look of devastation and hurt would be forever burned into his memory.

  ***

  Darren stalked past his brother’s secretary and straight into the office. Derrick looked up from the phone call he was on and gave his brother a smile, but it quickly faded when he caught what must have been a vivid look of fury on his features.

  "Let me call you back," Derrick said into the phone. He disconnected the call while Darren slumped into the chair across from his desk. "What's the problem?"

  "My wife," Darren growled.

  Derrick chuckled. "Okay, what did she do?"

  "I caught her before she was going to get an abortion."

  Derrick blanched. "What?" he asked horrified.

  He could only stare at his older sibling.

  Derrick straightened. "Okay, first, she's pregnant?"

  Darren nodded.

  "How far along?"

  Darren shrugged. "I don't know. She can't be that far."

  "How did you find out about..." Derrick didn’t bother to finish the sentence.

  "She's been sick. I figured it out pretty quick. But she's been distant and quiet. I was afraid because she wasn't talking to me and hadn't said a word confirming she's pregnant. I knew she had to know, Derrick. I had her followed," he explained. He rubbed at his aching forehead.

  Derrick stared at him. "You had your wife followed?"

  "Don't, Derrick," he snapped. "If I hadn't then I wouldn't have a baby on the way right now."

  His brother held up his hands. "Hey, I'm not the enemy here."

  "Sorry."

  "I understand being upset. Hell, I would want to throttle her, but..." Derrick leaned all the way back in his chair, studying him. "What are you going to do?"

  "What the hell can I do?"

  Derrick raised an eyebrow.

>   "Forget it," Darren snapped again. He refused to bump off his wife because she betrayed him. Other men in his position had done that in the past for much less, but he couldn't and wouldn't.

  "You’re testy this evening, brother." Derrick stood and went over to the cabinet, pulled out his high-end whiskey, and poured two glasses. He handed one to Darren. "Here."

  "Thanks," he grumbled.

  "Shit, Darren. I have no idea how to help you." Derrick took a sip of his drink. "Courtney is...well...she's determined but she also gets into her own head."

  "What do you mean?"

  "She tends to think the worst of herself. I can see how she might think she's not ready to be a mother. Convince herself pregnancy would be the worst thing that could happen. She'd literally talk herself into being the worst mother in the world." Derrick sighed, the color of his eyes turning black. "It was that asshole that did it to her. She should have gotten therapy after the beating. He did more than physically hurt her."

  Darren didn't respond. He never considered those inner demons still existed with his Courtney.

  "She took years to say yes to your proposal because she convinced herself she wasn't ready. What made her come out of it, who knows, but she did," Derrick said.

  He took a gulp of his drink.

  "You can't do anything to her," Derrick said. "It would kill you."

  "I never planned on it," he admitted. Amazing how his wife could make him so weak.

  "Good, because I love her, too. In spite of her lack of confidence and judgment," Derrick admitted.

  He snorted. "I know."

  "Forgive her. She made a mistake. Does she know it?"

  "She threw herself on her sword today. She allowed me to vent." He paused. "She took it brilliantly."

  "That's our girl." Derrick grinned.

  He looked up at his brother and smiled. "Yeah."

  "Get whatever answers you can from her, and let her know what's unacceptable. She can't make those decisions. She's married now and should come to you with anything. Anything at all."

  His brother was right. Darren nodded again then threw back the rest of his drink. "What are you doing? Want to get something to eat? I kind of threw dinner across the kitchen."

  Derrick chuckled. "Let's go."

  Both brothers left the office to have a quiet dinner and finish their talk about the issue at hand. Courtney.

  ***

  Three in the morning and Darren quietly stepped through the front door of his home. He hoped his wife hadn't decided to leave him over his tirade. After he visited his brother and vented, he calmed down significantly. His wife had deserved better than his tantrum.

  He climbed the stairs and stepped into their bedroom. His heart skipped a beat at the vision of her curled up on his side of the bed, hugging his pillow. She needed him. He slipped off his shoes and socks, then stripped except for his boxers. He slid in next to her, wrapped his muscular arms around her slim figure, and pulled her against his chest. She moaned and snuggled in close. That was what he needed and wanted. He needed Courtney like he needed his next breath. She was everything to him, baby or no baby. He kissed the top of the head. Courtney wrapped her arm around his waist.

  "I'm so sorry, Darren. I'll never do anything to hurt you again, I promise," she whispered. He felt a tear drop onto his bare chest. "I'm sorry I earned your distrust."

  He kissed her again. "We'll talk in the morning, sweetheart. Get some sleep, you need it."

  "I love you."

  "I love you more, baby."

  ***

  Courtney

  When Courtney woke the next morning, she felt the best she had in what seemed like forever. She started to get a tiny grip on her morning sickness. She shuffled down to the kitchen to find Darren had toast and ginger ale waiting for her.

  “Let's talk about what happened, Court,” he warned with absolutely no preamble.

  She nodded and slowly took a seat at the island. She felt positively distressed over the debacle she created.

  “I’m not happy at all about your decision. I'm thoroughly disappointed in the fact that you didn’t confide in me and tell me that you're pregnant and how you were feeling.” He set down his coffee cup and leaned on the island. “Court, you are the love of my life. I would do virtually anything for you. You must know that by now. Don’t you?”

  She nodded again. Without a doubt, she knew he would do anything for her. He had since the day they met.

  “Then why?”

  The one question she couldn’t answer, because she honestly couldn’t pinpoint why. There were too many jumbled reasons that ran through her mind.

  She hesitated, choosing her words guardedly. “I don’t know. I panicked, I guess. I knew you would want this baby and I convinced myself I didn’t, that I’m not ready to be a mother. I was afraid you wouldn’t see my point of view and…” She looked away from his piercing stare. “I just decided to do it. I never thought you would find out. I figured, in the future, when we did decide to have children, it would be a mutual decision between us.” She looked back at him and shamefully lowered her head. “For the rest of my life I'll regret making that rash decision without talking to you, Darren. I know there's nothing I can do or say to make up for it. All I can tell you is that I'm truly sorry and will never, ever, do such a stupid thing again.”

  “Do you want this baby?” Darren asked. His tone was laced with a dark undertone that sent a shiver up her spine.

  Courtney didn’t respond for a long moment, and then looked up at him, tears shining in her big blue eyes. “To feel your hand on my stomach over the past week has done something to me. Knowing you’ll be here for me and cherish our baby and help me get past my insecurities, that gives me the reassurance I need. You have no idea. I want to give you this baby.” She ran a hand over her flat stomach and whispered, “I hope it's a boy. I love boys.”

  Darren inhaled sharply then bounded around the island and yanked her into his arms. He kissed her soundly, pulled away, and cupped her beautiful face into his hands. “You’re forgiven.”

  Her tears spilled down her cheeks. “Thank you.”

  She wrapped her arms around his stomach and lost it. She sobbed into his chest as she released all of her worries and allowed her brilliant husband to absorb her over-the-top emotions.

  ***

  Finally, Courtney felt relaxed with life again. She’d called her two best girlfriends to get together for lunch at the local Italian restaurant to catch up. It had been too long since she’d had girl time.

  “How have you been, Courtney?” Dana asked kindly. “You look pasty.”

  “Yeah, you’re not wearing much makeup. Not getting any sleep?” Rachel Ryan asked and raised a suggestive eyebrow at her. Typical.

  She chuckled and decided to shock her girlfriends. “I’m pregnant.”

  Both women gaped.

  “What?” Rachel bluntly spewed out. “I thought you were on the pill.”

  “I am…or was.” She shrugged. “I guess it didn’t work.”

  “All of a sudden? You’ve been on it for years,” Dana pointed out.

  “I don’t understand what happened myself, but what can I do?” she asked. She took a nervous sip of water.

  “What does Darren think? Ecstatic much?” Rachel asked sarcastically.

  “He’s thrilled,” Courtney said. “Though he wasn't happy with me at first.”

  “Why?” Dana asked curiously. “I find that hard to believe knowing Darren.”

  “I was going to have an abortion and he found out.” She set her water glass down. “Needless to say that didn’t go over well.”

  Rachel gasped. “Courtney.”

  “I know, I know.”

  “No, I don’t think you do know. What the hell were you thinking? Darren’s going to kill you,” Rachel snapped.

  “We talked it out. He understands where I was coming from and what was going on in my head. He forgives me,” she explained.

  Rachel and Dana tos
sed each other a knowing glance.

  “How did he find out you were going to have an abortion?” Dana asked.

  Rachel nodded and pointed to Dana.

  She shrugged. “When I headed towards the front doors of the clinic he was there. I don't know.”

  “He had you followed,” Rachel whispered more to herself.

  Courtney didn’t understand. What was the matter with her girlfriends? Bewildered, she looked back and forth between the two women.

  “All right, Courtney, I’ve had enough,” Dana said harshly. “This time your life depends on this and I’m coming clean.” She gave Rachel a side look.

  “What?” she asked.

  “You need to be concerned for you life, Courtney. There is no way Darren Murphy is that forgiving when it comes to the fact his wife was going to abort his child. His heir,” Dana said. She glanced around to see if anyone nearby was interested in their conversation.

  “His heir?” she asked, still confused.

  “Courtney, you married Darren Murphy, one of the biggest crime bosses in the country. He’s on the FBI, ATF, local police, and every other agency's list you could imagine. He’ll let you go through with this pregnancy and the minute that the baby is born you’ll go out for a boat ride for a romantic evening and never return,” Dana said.

  Courtney stared at Dana blankly. “Are you insane?”

  “No.” Dana pointed to Rachel again.

  Rachel nodded. “We knew you didn’t realize but we had no idea you were oblivious. Don’t you see? All the men constantly around the house, the late nights, men who randomly disappear. The fact that he pays for nothing when the two of you go out to dinner or that he's treated like a celebrity. Random men who approach him when the two of you are out. Derrick, his personal lawyer, who is also his brother, who has no other clients. Jack. Carl. The money from investments? Do you know what kind of investments, Courtney? Drugs, gambling, laundering, weapons. For god's sake look at the size of your wedding. Who knows that many people? Your husband is the boss. And you were going to abort his child. You signed your death certificate.”