Wind on the Sand (The Winds of God)

by Felicia Mires

  His next message had been a few minutes ago. "Hey, I've never kept you out till midnight. Call me no matter what time it is."

  Lauren giggled as she picked up the phone to call him. "Jack?"

  "It's about time. You might have turned into a pumpkin."

  "Not a chance, wrong prince."

  "Did you have a nice time? Everyone behave?"

  "I had a blast!"

  "I'm glad...sort of. I'll let you get to bed now. Call me in the morning, and I'll bring over the muffins."

  For some reason, Lauren wanted Jack to know that he was still more important to her.

  "Jack?"

  "Yeah?"

  "I had fun, but it didn't compare with you. But…you'll leave and I'll be left with nothing."

  "I'm glad you told me. And we'll pray about it, ok?"

  "I'd like that. Goodnight." Lauren hung up.

  The weeks passed. Their time together was almost gone. Really, Jack had delayed leaving far longer than he should. His finals had been over for two days, and he'd turned in grades. But Lauren hadn't made that crucial decision. He was beginning to wonder if she ever would. She seemed content to look at God through his eyes.

  Today had been his last opportunity to be with Lauren when she went to church, but he was disappointed again. She didn't make a commitment for Christ at the end of the service.

  He smiled at her as they went out to the car. "How would you like to spend our last few hours together?"

  "I don't want to be around a lot of people. Could we just get drive-thru for lunch and go home?"

  "Fine with me."

  After they ate, Jack suggested one final walk on the beach. He wasn't really sure how to say goodbye, perhaps it would be easier near the water. They wandered aimlessly arm-in-arm while Skippy trailed beside them.

  "I've been thinking about your mission work," said Lauren hesitantly. "You've never really told me how you became interested in that."

  He glanced at her. She'd always seemed reluctant to hear the details. He had wondered if she was afraid to hear, if perhaps she had a call on her life as well.

  "I've been saved fifteen years and even though I got my undergraduate degree in business…" He paused to wait for her response.

  "Business! You never told me that."

  "You never asked. It didn't seem important. Anyway, I seemed always drawn towards the mission activities at our church. When a visiting missionary talked about the need to minister the love of Jesus to people while you teach skills to lift them out of poverty, I knew that was for me."

  "But how did you know?"

  "I knew because I'd developed the habit of listening to God not just talking to Him. When I felt a deep stirring and desire to be someone that made a difference, I knew He was pointing the way to my destiny. I got my graduate degree from a seminary. I am now qualified to teach English, philosophy, and business. Those subjects may not sound useful things to learn for a destitute farmer in Nicaragua or Costa Rica, but I felt peace. The mission board assured me I'd be helpful. I enrolled for a six-month term."

  "Why only six months? I thought missionaries were always missionaries."

  "I'm not sure. That's what God told me. I don't know what comes after that, but I don't need to. He does."

  They reached the end of Jack's pier and sat on the bench. Lauren put her hands in her lap as she stared out at the dark water. With the sun shining directly on them, it was quite warm, but she didn't care. This was where she needed to be to share her concerns.

  "I'm not sure I can trust God like that. I mean...I just figured out what I'm good at. I like taking care of myself. I haven't done a bad job. I really think I can do anything I put my mind to. Why do I have to give up the things I want, just so I can serve God? What if He wants me to do something boring?"

  "Lauren, God is magnificent. Why would He offer you something less than what you could perform on your own? That's contrary to everything in His Word. What He gives us fulfills us completely or He's not God. Are you afraid he'll send you to the outermost reaches of Africa? That's not for everyone. Someone has to stay behind and be a witness in the workplace. Someone has to teach the children. Someone has to care for the destitute right here. You were created for a divine purpose. Perhaps you should stop asking God what job He wants you to get and ask Him what destiny He has planned for you."

  It all made sense when Jack talked about his own life, but could Lauren learn to trust God that way? She really wanted to try. She couldn't lean on Jack or anyone else if she wanted to find God's purpose for herself. It might take a while before she understood.

  "Lauren, we haven't talked much about your parents' death and your circumstances. What will happen to you after the Jamiesons come back? Where will you go when you leave here?"

  "Home. My parents' house is still waiting for me. Their stuff is still sitting there. The will has been probated, and now I just have to decide what to keep. That's part of why the Jamiesons wanted me to stay here. They didn't want me to make rash decisions. When they come back, they'll help me.

  "Don't worry, Jack. I'll be fine. And if I don't show up for church, I'm sure I'll hear about it from the Jamiesons."

  When Jack had finally packed everything in the car, Lauren stood at the window for a final goodbye. He really wanted to say, "I love you, will you wait for me?" But it wasn't what God wanted him to tell her. This separation couldn't be about Jack. It had to be about Lauren finding the Father.

  "Everything will work out, Lauren. God loves you. You can trust him."

  Then he was gone.

  That night Lauren stayed up until he called and let her know he'd arrived. He sounded tired. She wanted to tell him how empty her house had suddenly become. She wanted to tell him he mattered more than anything, but she didn't. She thanked him for calling and reminded him to write her. Then she cried herself to sleep.

  Lauren dragged herself through the next day at work. Would Jack call that night? What would she say if he did?

  Later that evening, when the phone rang, Lauren jumped for the receiver. "Hello?"

  "How's my best girl?" It was Jack.

  "Missing you. How are you?"

  "The same. I must have thought about a hundred things I wanted to tell you today. But you weren't there."

  "I'm here now...tell me."

  "I can't remember any of them."

  She laughed. "I know what you mean. Is your family happy to see you?"

  "My brother, Chris, says he's watching the Viper for me while I'm gone."

  "At least someone has a reason to be happy while you're gone."

  Jack laughed. "I guess you're right." His voice lowered. "Miss you."

  "Me too."

  "I'll call you tomorrow night."

  Lauren's next day went as slowly as the first. She felt as if all she did was glance at the clock. When she got home, she couldn't concentrate on anything. She left the television running for the noise, but she watched the clock, waiting. Jack called at eight.

  This call was even more bittersweet because Lauren knew it would be the last. He was flying out in the morning. He'd finally gotten an exact location from the mission board. They would land in Tegucigalpa, Honduras, then head into the mountains. He sounded excited; Lauren felt even more alone.

  The next couple of weeks she wrote a short note to Jack every day. She knew her letters would take a while to reach him because they had to go through the mission headquarters first then get forwarded. Once Jack was established at a base, he would write her with his address, but mail would still be slow.

  Meanwhile, Ryan had added a huge volume of work to the load she was already carrying. Personally, she thought the success with the bank had gone to his head. He wanted to tackle even larger accounts. He pushed everyone for more and more. Lauren had even begun to go to her office on the weekends.

  She felt guilty when she missed the first two Sundays at church, but she'd get back on track after she caught up. She was just having trouble concentrating since
Jack left.

  Going into their third week of separation, Lauren received a packet of letters from Jack. It looked as if he had written her every day and saved them all until he could post them.

  One letter described the village where they were staying. "It has a very high altitude, but that hasn't helped much with the heat or the humidity. I'm still a feast for gigantic, mutant mosquitoes.

  "It took forever to drive up the mountain. Sometimes I didn't think that old bus would make it. I could hear the engine straining several times. And the road would get so steep you almost felt like the bus was falling off the side of the mountain. No guard rails either. In fact, no road after awhile. It's just a gravel path with more mud than gravel.

  "The bus eventually left us here and we've set up in a one- room mud-brick hut. There are three of us. The doctor, the preacher, and me, the teacher. The windows are just open holes. It's too hot for glass, and too expensive for these villagers. They're very poor peasants. They acted like they'd never seen a doctor before. They came from miles around when the word got out that we were here.

  "It's unbelievable to live amongst a people group that will only be able to eat if they grow something to eat. There are two donkeys in town, owned by the rich man. (He has two rooms to his mud hut.) He rents the donkeys out to the villagers to help them with their crops, something like yoking an ox. Anyway, he gets part of their crops so he doesn't grow any of his own. Mostly he just sits in the door of his hut, drinking homemade liquor. Another item he sells to the villagers.

  "I think about you all the time. I thought about you when I woke up entangled in mosquito netting. Which doesn't work, in case you're wondering. They still get in. After all, they're mutants. I thought about you when I helped clean feces off a small baby girl. It had been encrusted on her so long her skin came off, too. I wanted to cry. I thought about you when I ate beans and corn tortillas for the hundredth time, or was it the thousandth? I've lost count. I thought about you when we had church outside. Two people came. How was your service last Sunday? I thought about you when it started pouring down rain, and we had to finish church in our hut. Someone that had undoubtedly never seen a tub sat in my bed right after they took a mud bath in the rain. Or maybe it wasn't mud, it certainly smelled worse.

  "Does all this make you want to hop the first plane out here? It's not all bad. I can't describe how I felt when a small girl, maybe six or seven, climbed in my lap and put her arms around my neck. All I did was give her a lollipop after the Doc gave her a shot. She'd never seen one before, so now I'm her hero. By the way, she still hasn't eaten it yet. She carries it around showing it off to all the other children. It's probably filthy by now.

  "If a lollipop can mean that much, how much more will the love of God mean to them? I hope it changes their lives and yours, too. It certainly has changed mine."

  Lauren felt intensely guilty about not going to church, and she resolved to go the next Sunday. She looked around the spotless environment where she lived. Why would anyone give up everything they had to go and live in squalor? Jack's conditions were much worse than she could have imagined. What could she send that would be useful?

  At the end of her fourth week of trial separation, Ryan dropped a bombshell. He had heard that the foremost builder in their area, the one who owned most of the beach property developments, was looking for a new ad agency. They had until Monday to come up with something that would convince him they were the best. It was now Friday. That meant they would all be working the weekend. So much for Lauren's commitment to go to church.

  The next weekend she had to move her things out of the Jamieson's house. They would be home on Tuesday, and Lauren wanted the house to be spic and span. Just one more week and then she'd go with the Jamiesons to church.

  Jack lay back on his cot, holding several letters. Not one word from Lauren about the Lord or church. He had thought…what had he thought? He didn't even know. It seemed ages since he'd seen her, but it had only been a month. A month of grueling, hard work and filthy living conditions.

  The preacher in their group, Brad, the only one that spoke fluent Spanish, had told them not to get discouraged by the lack of converts. They were establishing a permanent post in this town. After Jack and the doctor left, another group would come in to help him. But first, they had to win the trust of the people. And that took time, especially with the "rich" man in town, speaking against them.

  Jack had a clear picture of Lauren in his mind, wearing her gold dress with her hair piled on top of her head. Would she ever consider coming out here with him? He was beginning to lose hope in that area. Maybe loving Lauren had been a pipe dream.

  I thought I heard from You, Lord. Is she the one for me? How long? I need some encouragement in my life. No one is responding here, Lauren's not responding at home, what good am I?

  This time he heard God's voice in his head, loud and clear. TRUST.

  Lauren had moved all her things back into her parents' house, but it didn't feel like her home anymore. The Jamiesons' house had never felt like home either because she knew they were coming back. Where do I belong?

  The first thought that popped into her head was the church, but she couldn't live there. Why would she think of the church? It must be guilt from not going or maybe she was really thinking of Jack. She belonged with Jack. But not out in the middle of nowhere. What if he stayed there?

  It seemed she didn't belong anywhere.

  When the Jamiesons asked her to meet them at church the next Sunday, Lauren was ready. I've got nothing to lose. If God wants my life, he can have it. I don't belong anywhere else.

  When she walked into the sanctuary, she felt like crying. Why had she let anything keep her from God's house? Why did she have excuses for not accepting Jesus? She was going to do it. Today was the day.

  The pastor had custom-designed his sermon. He talked about the things that we think are important that hold us back from God. Tears slid down Lauren's face as she listened. She had to get things right with God.

  You've been telling me all week that I don't have anywhere I belong, but You didn't either. There were so many people who said they'd follow you, but they had excuses...just like me. I finally got an important job, but it doesn't mean anything without Jack...without You. Lord, I want to belong to You and all that means. If you send me to live in mud huts, I know You'll be there. Wherever You are, that's where we belong.

  She couldn't wait for the pastor to begin his altar call. As soon as the first word left his mouth, she stood and walked down the aisle. The Jamiesons followed her and stood with her while Lauren said the words that committed her life to Jesus Christ. As her sins were washed away, she understood so many things...why her mother had told her to trust God...why Jack could give up everything to follow where God led him. And Lauren felt free! She couldn't wait to write Jack and tell him.

  The rich man in the village, Senor Pedro Vartez, had asked Jack to teach his teenage son English. In exchange, Juan was helping Jack with Spanish. It was an extraordinary opportunity because Jack taught English using the Bible. It could change everything for the village if Juan became a believer and influenced his father.

  Though Juan was sixteen years old, he only looked about thirteen. He was small for his age so Jack encouraged him whenever he could.

  If only they could reach Juan and the other young people before they became drug traffickers. Marijuana was a big cash crop. Some of the other villages used their small parcel of land to grow marijuana because they could get more food with the money they made off drugs than they could by growing the food on their own. It was a difficult situation.

  One afternoon he felt he'd made tremendous progress with Juan. Jack had chosen to read from the book of John. When Juan saw his own name in the book of God, he asked many questions. Juan was deeply impressed that John was referred to repeatedly as 'the disciple whom Jesus loved.'

  "He loves me?" Juan asked.

  "Yes, very much."

  His face reflecte
d shifting emotions for several seconds, then he jumped up. "I have to go now."

  "See you tomorrow, Juan."

  Jack watched as the boy ran down the dirt road. Lord, ignite the spark into a burning flame.

  In the middle of the night, Lauren woke after a terrible dream. A smiling, tranquil Jack stood in the midst of a group of trees. Like palm trees, she thought. He must be on the beach. But she didn't recognize that particular tree. Something out of her field of vision distracted him, and his face turned away. The sky became dark, and the trees bent over in the wind. Lauren felt unsettled about the disturbance that had attracted Jack's attention and tried to call him back, but he didn't hear. The closer he got to the trees, the more certain Lauren became that he should not go there. He continued to walk forward without fear and disappeared into the jungle. It hadn't been the beach at all. Lauren screamed his name, but there was no answer. She called out again and again until she woke.

  The instant Lauren realized she'd had a dream, she cried out to God. Is Jack in trouble? Please don't let him go somewhere he's not supposed to go. I haven't told him yet that I believe. You've got to take care of him. Please show me what to do.

  For some reason, she couldn't escape the idea of prayer.

  I don't know how. I don't know what to say.

  Psalm 91 popped into her head. Her Mother called it the safety Psalm. Lauren got out her parents' Bible and read out loud. Then she said, "Make this true for Jack." She read it out loud again using Jack's name everywhere it would fit in the Psalm.

  She cast an agonized look at the clock. Wide awake, and she still had another hour before she needed to get ready for work. She propped herself up in the bed and laid the Bible in her lap. Let's just see if there are any other Psalms about protection.

  Over and over Lauren read that God was faithful, that His name was to be praised. Even in the midst of trouble, the Lord is a strong tower. She marveled that David would cry about his troubles and thank God for His faithfulness in the next breath. No matter what, David praised God. She needed to learn that.