The Milestone Tapes

by Ashley Mackler-Paternostro

“Mia, you have to draw a picture of your family and then you have to write a short story about us,” Jenna explained, pointing to the assignment.

  “I know!” Mia sifting through the rainbow on the table, picking out colors and laying them neatly in a line.

  “Do you want me to help you?” Jenna asked, handing a crisp sheet of white craft paper to her daughter.

  “No, I’m okay.” Mia chewed on her lip, weighing the merits of light blue versus navy blue.

  “Okay, baby, I’m going to be in the kitchen then. Do you want pasta for dinner tonight?” Jenna shoved away from the table, heading towards the pantry to pull ingredients.

  “Sure, that sounds good,” Mia mumbled, pressing a black pencil to the paper.

  “Daddy will be home soon, and that mess will have to be cleaned up before dinner, so work hard and finish up, all right?”

  “Okay,” Mia mumbled, fully focused on the task at hand.

  Jenna put a large pot of water on the stove to boil and removed a Tupperware from the freezer containing leftover sauce from before. As it spun in the microwave, thawing, Jenna poured herself a glass of water and shook two tiny pills from the orange plastic container.

  “So you like your teacher?” Jenna posed to Mia, cracking the pasta in half and setting it aside for boiling.

  Mia nodded her head. “She’s really pretty, Mommy.”

  “That’s nice, baby. She seems like a really fun teacher,” Jenna continued, grabbing a loaf of soft French bread, and slicing it into small round pieces.

  “Today, we went on a nature walk. And in music class, I got to play a recorder!” Mia beamed, still coloring fiercely. “Later, after lunch, we went to the library and had story time. It was a fun day!”

  “Wow, busy, busy. Are any of your friends in your class this year?” Jenna whisked melted butter, garlic, oregano and paprika together in a small bowl, dipping the slice of bed in the sloshy, gritty mixture before placing it on a baking tray and sprinkling cheese on top.

  “Sarah and Kelly are, but Geneva isn’t, so we just get to play at recess,” Mia summarized, not looking up.

  “Oh, that’s too bad.” Jenna set the oven to bake and walked over to table, where Mia was finishing her picture. “Sarah is a good buddy. Maybe we can have her over this weekend for a play date?”

  The crisp white sheet was now covered with rolling hills, thick clouds and a swarm of detailed people, all easily recognizable.

  “That’s you, me and Daddy.” Mia pointed to a small grouping of three people, beaming proudly in front of a house. “Ginny, Aunt Sophia, Thomas, Caleb and Harlen.” She pointed to another group, slightly off set, but still smiling. “That’s my family.” Mia smiled proudly at her drawing.

  “That most certainly is your family.” Jenna kissed Mia on her head. “That’s a very, very lovely picture. You’re a good artist. it looks almost like a real family photograph!”

  “When I finish showing it at school, you can frame it if you want,” Mia offered, a proud smile stretched across her face.

  “I’d really love that, baby, thank you.” Jenna held up the drawing, looking closer at the detail Mia had included—the wide house, the thick nest of forest, the way everyone looked so happy. This was the way the world looked to Mia, Jenna realized. Her heart swelled with love and pride and joy. This was her family, happy and together.

  “Ladies?” a voice boomed from the entryway as Gabe walked in, dripping beads of water over the entryway rug.

  “In the kitchen!” Jenna called out. “Mia, can you pick up the pencils and help me set the table?” She gestured towards the mess scattered about.

  “Sure Momma.” Mia went about grabbing handfuls of brightly colored pencils, shoving them back into the bucket.

  “Dinner in thirty, Gabe. You have time to get changed!” Jenna called out, hearing Gabe shuck off the excess water from his raincoat. The door closing behind him.

  “Smells good,” he commented, walking in, planting a kiss on a Jenna and mussing Mia’s hair.

  “How was work?” Jenna asked, ladling the thawed sauce from the Tupperware to a waiting pot on the stove.

  “Good, it’s going to be a great house.” Gabe grabbed a beer from the fridge.

  “That’s great. I’d love to see it.” Jenna spun the sauce around in the pan.

  “All right, I need a quick shower. You good, J?” Gabe asked, leaning against the counter, his pants splattered with a dusting of mud, soaked entirely near the hem of the pants.

  “I’m good, go shower.” Jenna stepped up on her tiptoes to kiss him lightly on the lips. He tasted of beer. “You shouldn’t be drinking on the job,” she laughed.

  “See ya.” Gabe reached down to kiss her again, a little longer, subtly grabbing her butt and giving it a playful squeeze. Jenna shooed him away with her hands, laughing.

  “What’s funny, Momma?” Mia asked, running back into the kitchen after putting her things away.

  “Your daddy is just being silly.” Jenna rolled her and slid the tray of garlic bread into the oven, setting the timer.

  “Momma?” Mia asked, gathering the small stack of plates Jenna had set out.

  “Hmm?” Jenna answered, sliding the noodles into the boiling pot.

  “You were an author, right?” Mia wouldn’t remember her mother writing, she had been just a toddler the last time Jenna was published. It wasn’t something Gabe or Jenna talked about much anymore. Part of Jenna’s past, a piece she had to leave behind that stung her to remember.

  “Yes, I was.” Jenna stirred the noodles thoughtfully.

  “Are your books in my library at school?” Mia wondered as she clanked the silverware down.

  “No, I wrote books for grownups. They are in libraries, but not elementary school libraries,” Jenna patiently explained.

  “Can I say you wrote books in my story about my family?” Mia asked

  “Of course you can. It’s what I did for a living, but then I had you.” Jenna smiled at her daughter, pinching her cheek playfully.

  “Can I read one of your books?” Mia finished setting the table and wandered over to look in the oven at the toasting bread.

  “When you’re older, of course you can. Right now though, they are a little bit too old for you to understand.”

  “What do you mean ‘old’?”

  “Well, the books I wrote were about adults, living adult lives, making adult choices. They weren’t for children, a lot of the stuff I talked about, you wouldn’t understand just yet.”

  “You could write a kids book, you know.”

  “Oh, I don’t know about that. That’s a special kind of writer,” Jenna explained lightly.

  If things were different, and Mia had asked her to write a children’s book, she would have. Even if the only reader had been Mia, she would have cherished that opportunity, but life was too complicated to task that upon herself now.

  “I could help you,” Mia offered. “I know lots of stuff about kids, and it would be easy.”

  “I don’t know, baby, let’s talk about it later.” Jenna tried to change the topic of conversation. It broke her heart to say no, knowing she’d love nothing more than to write a book with her daughter.

  “It could be about princesses and knights and castles,” Mia triumphed, breaking Jenna’s heart, knowing she’d have to dash those hopes if the topic was brought up again. She simply didn’t have the energy.

  “We’ll see. Hey, could you fill the glasses up with ice for me?” Jenna handed Mia three glass goblets and pointed the freezer.

  As Jenna drained the pasta, Mia ran off to get Gabe for dinner. The shared the meal, bantering over the trivial aspects of their day. Mia’s school took center focus for most of the conversation, Gabe grilling her on her friends, teacher, and homework assignments. Jenna spooned small bites of food into her mouth, realizing that her appetite was fading. Like a child, she scuttled the majority of her meal around her plate, hoping to conceal that fact that she wasn’t really eating. Diminished hunger
, she’d been warned, was a sign of the worst.

  With the table cleared and the dishwasher splashing wetly in the background, Mia returned to her place at the table. She pulled a lined piece of paper from her bedazzled folder and sharpened a fresh pencil. Jenna warmed herself a cup of tea, dipping the bag into the steaming water, sweetening it with a hint of honey and a splash of milk. Gabe had retired to the family room, some sports show animatedly recapping the highlights of various events, a frosted beer bottle warming on the table side, Jenna cringed at the unavoidable water ring that was puddling beneath it.

  “Are you going to write your story now?” Jenna asked, consulting the clock above the table, sipping her tea. Only an hour remained before Mia’s regular bedtime, and she hoped Mia could truncate the assignment into the time remaining.

  “Want to help?” Mia asked, neatly writing her name in pretty script at the top of the page.

  “Sure, of course.” Jenna settled down beside Mia. “But, I’m only going to help. This is your story, I want you to tell it.”

  “I know that! It’s not hard! It’s about my family,” Mia rebuked, rolling her eyes.

  “Nice attitude, Mia,” Jenna scolded. She wasn’t amused by the eye rolling, even in jest.

  “Sorry.” Mia blushed.

  “I know you can write this, I know you can tell your class about us. I wasn’t doubting you, or underestimating your skills, I was simply laying the ground rules. I know it’s late in the evening, and I know you’re probably tired. That’s all,” Jenna explained calmly. “But, that’s no reason to roll your eyes, even if you’re just joking. It’s not nice to speak to an adult like that, and that goes double when that adult is your mother.” Jenna rubbed the sweet spot where Mia’s shoulder blades met, but the seriousness of message rang true.

  Mia quietly went to work, her pencil deliberately moving across the page. Jenna sat beside her, answering questions as Mia posed them. Gabe designed homes, Jenna wrote fiction books, Ginny was her babysitter for four years now and also like a grandma, her Aunt Sophia lived in South Carolina in a big city by the ocean and owned a store, and she had three cousins who were all pretty cool. Finally, Mia lowered her pencil in victory. Jenna appraised the clock. It was definitely time for bed.

  “All right Ms. Mia, ready for bed?” Jenna asked, taking the paper and placing it on Mia’s folder. She’d pack her up for a school in a minute, and make sure the picture and story found its way to the correct spot.

  “Aren’t you going to read my story?” Mia’s brows furrowed in confusion.

  “Of course I am! But after I get you tucked in. It’s your bed time, and we both know how cranky someone at this table gets when they don’t go to bed early.” Jenna winked, tickling Mia’s tummy.

  “I’ll take her,” Gabe groaned, shoving himself off the couch.

  “You sure?” Jenna asked. She knew Gabe was tired. His day had been exceptionally long and she wanted him to just relax.

  “Yep. She’s all mine!” Gabe tossed Mia easily over his should, stalking off towards her bedroom.

  Jenna followed close behind. Gabe flopped Mia down on the bed, and she collapsed in fits of giggles.

  “Alright, alright you two,” Jenna scolded teasingly. “Mia, I love you, I’ll see you in the morning. Have the sweetest dreams.” She yanked back the covers as Mia scrambled in, kissing her on the forehead.

  “Love you Mommy,” Mia said, snuggling deep under the down comforter.

  “Love you more, Mia,” Jenna whispered as she blew her another kiss.

  Jenna listened outside the door for a moment longer as Gabe read to Mia, The Giving Tree, for the hundredth time, it had been one of Jenna’s favorite children’s books, too. She listened closely to the way the words rolled off of Gabe’s tongue, filling the silence of the house with goodness. He’s a good dad, Jenna thought. Mia would always have that.

  The kitchen was oddly quiet as Jenna strolled back in. Gabe had switched off the television and the dishwasher was humming mutely now. She fixed herself back at the kitchen table, lifted the limp sheet of paper Mia had worked so hard on, and began reading.

  My Family

  By Mia Chamberland

  I have a Mom and Dad. They are really great people. But I also have a lot of other family members, they are great, too.

  My Dad is smart and funny, His name is Gabe. He designs houses for people who live here in Port Angeles. He used to work in Seattle before I was born, and he designed some building there, too. He built the house I live in, and my bedroom is pretty cool.

  My Mom is really pretty and nice. Her name is Jenna. She’s sick, so we can’t do a lot of stuff together, but that’s okay, because I love her. She used to write books, but not the kind of books we have at school, books for grown ups. When I asked if I could read one, she said they were too old for me, but I will read them all when I get bigger. She and I might write a book together one day, that would be lots of fun. So, I really need to learn to write this year.

  I have a babysitter named Ginny. Ginny is like a grandma to me since my real grandma is in heaven. She is a really good cook, and makes all sorts of good stuff with things she grows herself. Sometimes I help her plant, and I like that.

  I have an Aunt named Sophia and she had three boys named Harlen, Thomas and Caleb. We hung out all summer and had so much fun, I was going to camp, but when they came I decided to hang out with them instead. We played on the beach and we went to the rain forest. My Aunt owns a store in South Carolina, so I helped her pick up shells on the beach that she brought all the way back to South Carolina and then she sells them in store because people like to put shells in vases and bowls.

  I have a great family, we love each other very much. I am very lucky. That’s my family.

  Jenna rubbed tears from her eyes as she laid the paper back down on top of the folder. What a beautiful, smart child she and Gabe were raising. She picked a piece of fresh paper out of the folder and began to write ...

  Dear Mia,

  I read your paper after you went to bed last night, just like I promised. You’re a really good writer. I’m so proud of you. Your story is awesome.

  And yes, our family is great ... because of you.

  Love,

  Mom.

  Jenna slipped the paper behind the assignment where Mia would find it in class tomorrow. She hoped the note would booster Mia’s confidence as she stood before a class of strangers, reading out loud. She was so proud of her little girl and her big words. She wanted Mia to have that knowledge with her.

  “God, almost put myself to sleep with that book.” Gabe ambled down the hallway rubbing his eyes.

  “You should go to bed, babe, you look exhausted,” Jenna commented, pushing her chair back into the table.

  “I will, just wanted to say good night first ... Are you going to be up much longer?” Gabe stopped.

  “Just a few minutes, I want to clean the kitchen up and pack Mia’s lunch still.” Jenna opened the fridge, pulling out turkey, cheese, lettuce and tomato slices.

  “Okay, cool. Love you,” Gabe yawned loudly, waving behind his back as he walked towards the master bedroom.

  Jenna assembled the sandwich quickly, scooping a handful of chips in to a plastic baggie, slicing an apple and pinching off a cluster of hothouse grapes, two cookies and a string cheese. Placing everything in the tiny lunchbox Mia loved, Jenna closed the fridge and turned off the lights.

  ~ * * * ~

  “What are your plans today?” Gabe asked, filling a thermos of coffee before heading out the door to his job site.

  “I have an appointment with Dr. Henderson at the hospital, nothing serious, just touching base.” Jenna consulted the calendar that hung by the phone in the kitchen. “And then I’d love to go shopping in town.”

  “Anything in particular?” Gabe shoved a few papers into his briefcase, snapping the brass locks closed.

  “Not really. Mia needs a few things, and I’d like to get a jump on Christmas shopping.”

/>   “I’ll be in Seaquim all day, We’re going to try to pound this house out in the last few weeks of good weather. I’m thinking about taking the winter off, but we’ll see.”

  “Will you be home for dinner?” Jenna ran her fingers through her short, cropped hair.

  “I’ll try; no promises though. I’ll call you later,” Gabe kissed her briefly on the lips and trudged out the door.

  “See you.” Jenna waved from the doorway as Gabe walked around to his car, blowing her a kiss before climbing in and turning the engine over.

  Mia had boarded the bus for school an hour before, and with nothing to do before her appointment at 10 o’clock, Jenna strolled back into the kitchen, pulling the phone off its cradle.

  “Bella Casa,” a familiar voice chirped on the other end of the line.

  “Hey Soph,” Jenna greeted her sister, sipping her coffee and sitting down on a barstool.

  “Jenna! I was just thinking about you! Hold on, let me take this in the back room.” Sophia quickly gave instructions to someone waiting nearby, and a moment later picked up another connection. “God gosh, we’re swamped! How are you? I miss you!” Her cheerful laugh filled the line.

  Jenna laughed at her sister’s monolog, running a mile a minute, her usual style. “I’m good, just killing some time before I have to be at the hospital, thought I’d check in.”

  “Hospital? Are you okay?” Sophia’s voice lowered with concern.

  “Oh, I’m alright, just the status quo of things now,” Jenna prattled.

  “Good, good. I worry, you know …” Sophia trailed off.

  “How are you?” Jenna knew bits and pieces of what was going on with Sophia back home, but she always felt like it was only part of the story.

  “The store is so busy, I’d blame it on overly eager holiday shoppers, but the truth is, everyone just wants stuff!” Sophia laughed lightly again. “Good thing, though. Keeps me in house and home.”

  “How are the boys? I miss them,” Jenna pressed.

  “Well, Thomas is running amuck around here today; half day preschool is a curse for working parents, Caleb and Harlen are doing really well in school. We’re all in a place of transition,” she allowed, and a slightly sad tone flitted into her voice.