My Fox Ate My Cake

by David Blaze

  “Everyone, listen up!” my mom shouted into the crowd. “Thank you for coming today. I hope you had fun. We have a family emergency we need to handle. Please gather your things and leave as quickly as possible.”

  Some kids groaned. Their parents grabbed them and left one by one. My uncle Mike rushed them out, not even knowing why. I was amazed at his and my mom’s ability to get everyone out so quickly. Especially since there was so much candy and cake left behind.

  Melissa grabbed my arm on her way out. “Is everything okay?”

  I wished I could tell her the truth. Other than my mom, I trusted her more than anyone else. “I hope so.”

  “Alright now,” my uncle Mike said, “keep it moving.” He ushered her and her mom out of the yard.

  Less than a few minutes later, the only people left in my backyard were me, my mom, my uncle, and my little cousin Dana. “Does this mean we get all the candy?” Dana asked.

  My uncle Mike huffed. “No, it doesn’t, young lady,” he assured her. He looked back at my mom. “Does it?”

  She was deep in thought and staring at the chicken coop. When she got like this, she couldn’t hear anyone or even sense anything around her. She was formulating a plan.

  My uncle grabbed her shoulders and shook her. “Sis? Mind telling me what just happened?” She was lost when she came out of her trance.

  Then the one voice I didn’t expect to hear interrupted everything.

  “This doesn’t taste like chicken,” Fox complained, standing behind my uncle. He had cake all over his face and was trying to lick it off. Why was he revealing himself? I was worried about what was going to happen when my uncle turned around. No one could be prepared for what he was about to see.

  “Look, kid,” my uncle said, turning around, “the party’s oooooooo… Oh my gosh! Is that fox standing up and talking to me?”

  Fox winked at me and raised his paws toward my uncle. “Chinese sneak attack!”

  Dana stepped forward and yelled, “Awesome! A talking fox!”

  I didn’t know if my uncle would accept Fox. I didn’t know what was going to happen with that video Shane recorded. All I knew was one thing — Fox was in danger, and I’d protect him as long as I could.

  FRIDAY NIGHT

  Fox agreed to stay inside with us until we figured out how to deal with Shane and his dad. We didn’t know what to expect. I was happy to have my best friend in the house again because he had disappeared for so long. I hated it, but he said there was something he had to do — something he had to search for.

  I had done a lot of research about foxes and learned what they liked to eat. They liked chickens! I couldn’t believe Fox had tricked me so many times so he could get to the chicken coop. But we solved that problem. My mom kept chicken in the fridge and freezer so Fox could eat some any time he was there.

  Fox and Dana were in my room with me that night. My mom sent us there so she and my uncle could talk about Fox. They were brother and sister and loved each other, but there was a lot of yelling from the kitchen. I don’t think my uncle approved of Fox at all.

  Dana thought Fox was the most awesome thing ever. She kept petting him and talking to him like a baby. “Who’s a good fox?” she said. “You are. Yes you are!” Then she wrapped her arms around him and petted him. I don’t think he was ever petted before, but he didn’t have any problem with it. He rolled over on his back and let her rub his belly.

  She laid down next to him and fell asleep within minutes. I put a blanket over her because I didn’t know if my uncle planned to stay for the night. I guess she was exhausted from a long afternoon outside. We all were.

  I yawned and stretched my arms out. “We should go to sleep,” I told Fox. “I’ve got a feeling this is going to be a long weekend.” I jumped on my bed. “You can sleep anywhere you want.” I stood and took the top blanket off my bed, and laid it next to me on the floor. “This should be comfortable.”

  Fox shook his head. “I can’t sleep here. This isn’t anything like a den.” He looked around the room like he was scared of it. I remembered the time I stayed in a hotel room with my mom. It was cool, but the bed didn’t feel like mine, the room was freezing, the air condition made knocking sounds all night, and I could hear people talking outside. It was uncomfortable and I didn’t get any sleep.

  “I have an idea,” I said. I opened my closet and pulled out three more blankets. Then I stepped out of my room and grabbed two chairs from the kitchen. I don’t think my mom or uncle even noticed me because they were still arguing.

  Back in my room, I set one chair on each side. I pulled my bookcase out of the corner and next my bed. I grabbed a handful of pins out of the billboard on my wall.

  “What’s going on?” Fox asked, scratching his head.

  “Watch the magic,” I told him. I grabbed a blanket, stretched it out, then lay one end across one chair and the other end across the other chair. I put the back of it on top of the bookcase. That made it look like a tent. It had gaps of air in some spaces because the blanket couldn’t cover everything. I grabbed the other blankets and stretched them high across other areas of the room, and pinned them to the walls as high as I could. Most of the room looked like a huge tent now. Maybe like a crazy person built it – but still like a tent.

  “Welcome to my den,” I said to Fox. I lifted one blanket end off the floor and revealed the room within it. Fox wagged his tail and stepped inside with me. It was dark, but I had grabbed a flashlight. I had learned to do all of this with my friend Tommy in the second grade. I forgot how fun it was.

  I turned the flashlight on and sat it straight up on the floor. It lit up the new den. “What do you think?” I asked Fox.

  “It’ll do.” He gazed up at the blankets above us and smiled. He was happier here. I understood there were too many distractions in a room he had never slept in.

  “This is fun,” I said. “Hey — wanna hear a riddle?”

  Fox threw his paws up. “What’s a riddle?”

  I guess he still had a lot to learn. I was glad he chose me to teach him. “It’s like a joke.”

  “What’s a joke?”

  This was going to be harder than I thought. “A joke is like a funny story. A riddle is like a funny question.”

  He scratched his head.

  “Okay,” I said, “let’s try one.” I laughed before I even asked the question. I had read the riddle in a joke book years ago. “What has four wheels and flies?”

  Fox rubbed his chin and stared at me. “I know the answer!” He smiled and said proudly, “It’s a bird.”

  I shook my head. “Birds don’t have wheels.”

  He blinked his eyes and pursed his lips. “What are wheels?”

  I ran my hands through my hair. This was like trying to teach someone another language. “Cars and trucks have wheels. It’s what makes them go.” He still didn’t understand. “Anyways, the answer is ‘garbage truck.’ A garbage truck has four wheels and it has flies — so it has four wheels and flies!” I tried to keep a straight face but couldn’t stop laughing.

  Fox looked at me like I was crazy. But he was a much faster learner than I thought. “I have a riddle. Wanna hear it?”

  I made the mistake of saying, “Okay.”

  “Are you ready for this?” he asked. He laughed the same way I did before I asked my riddle. There was no way his could be better than mine. “What has four legs and farts?”

  I tried to stop him, but it was too late. He let a fart rip that was so loud and so long that all the blankets around us flapped like there was a tornado!

  And then there was the smell. It was trapped in the den with us. It smelled like tuna and broccoli and onions and vinegar and dirty feet and dirty underwear all mixed together. It was disgusting.

  “Whew,” Fox said. “No more cake for me.”

  I couldn’t breathe. I could taste the foul smell in my mouth. I pulled my shirt up over my nose and sucked in as little air as I could. I was worried I was going to pass out.


  My bedroom door opened. I flicked the flashlight off so no one could see us.

  “I’ll get her,” my uncle said. He was talking about Dana. “See you in the morning, sis.” His footsteps were louder on his way out.

  “I wonder where Jonah and Fox could be,” my mom said. “I don’t see them anywhere.”

  I held a finger over my lips for Fox to keep quiet. This was a good den and I put a lot of work into it. No one would ever find us.

  “What’s that smell?” she asked. I knew exactly what it was. Fox’s smelly fart. “Is that… is that sour cream and onion?”

  Fox and I burst out laughing at the same time. Sour cream and onion! I hoped I never had to eat anything that tasted like that horrible smell around us.

  “Is someone in there?” my mom asked. I guessed the gig was up. She knew someone was in the den, and it was our own faults.

  I lifted up the blanket closest to her and stayed hidden behind it. I disguised my voice to sound like Darth Vader. “What’s the password?”

  She huffed and said, “I don’t know the password, but I have a pizza that’s half pepperoni and half chicken. Do you know anyone who wants some?”

  I reached out and snatched the pizza tray from her. Before closing the den blanket, I accidentally said, “Thank you,” in my real voice.

  “That was close,” I told Fox. “She almost saw us.” I flicked the flashlight back on. Fox licked his lips when he saw the chicken on his half of the pizza. We both laughed and munched on den meal. I loved pepperoni and Fox loved chicken. My mom was the best mom ever.

  Fox burped when he was done. I have no idea how his little body held so much gas. I yawned and reached out of the den for my pillow and a blanket big enough to cover both of us.

  “Where do you go, Fox?” I asked him as I lay down and put part of the blanket over me. “When you don’t come back for a long time.” I had never asked him before, but I had a right to know the answer. I missed him when he was gone.

  He was sitting down with his paws in front of him. He was silent for a moment, but he finally said, “Looking for my parents.”

  I never thought about Fox having parents, but of course he did. I sat up and asked him, “Where are they?”

  The silence felt awkward. Fox’s tail was limp by his side. I wished I had never asked the question and we could go back to laughing about farts.

  “I was playing with my parents in the woods. Hide and Seek.” He paused and smiled. “I was good at it. We would laugh and play and hug for hours.” His smile disappeared, and his eyes focused on the floor.

  “Two men with long guns came into the woods while we were playing.” He cleared his throat. “There was a loud bang, and the ground jumped up next to me. My parents yelled at me to run as fast as I could to the den. I did, and they were right behind me.”

  He fell silent again, and I didn’t know if I should’ve said something. I waited for him to continue.

  “When we got there, they told me to go in first.” He took a deep breath. “They said they loved me and were proud of me.” He looked back at me. “Before I could stop them, they shoved me inside and buried me in with dirt and leaves.”

  I could tell he was hurting. Why did I have to ask him about this? I had no idea what happened to his parents or where they were. I couldn’t imagine living with both of them gone. I was lucky to have my mom.

  “I screamed for my parents to come inside. The den became so dark and quiet.” He laid his head on the floor. “And then I heard two more loud bangs.” He took another deep breath. “I scratched at the dirt and leaves to get out, but it took me days. Once I made it, I couldn’t find my parents anywhere.”

  My heart hurt for Fox. I didn’t know if he understood what happened, but I had a pretty good idea. I wasn’t going to tell him.

  He sat up again. “I wandered around for weeks, searching for food and water. And then I found this place.” He tail wagged a little. “I found you.”

  I tried not to yawn. I had to say something to him. “I’m sorry, Fox. No matter what happens, I will always protect you.”

  He stood up on all four paws. “Your mom’s awesome. Where’s your dad?”

  I froze. I didn’t expect that question to come up, and I wasn’t prepared to answer it. I was afraid the other kids would think I was different. But this was my best friend. I was safe with him. He had just told me about the darkest moment in his life. Now I could tell him about mine.

  I stared at my hands. “Two men in army uniforms came to our house in the city a few months ago.” It was raining hard that day. I remembered my mom crying and screaming when they knocked on the door. “They said my dad wasn’t coming back.”

  Fox put a paw on my hand. “We’re more alike than I thought.”

  I nodded. “My mom lost her job soon after that, and we moved here. We left everything behind, but I’ll never forget my dad. He taught me three things: Honesty, integrity, and compassion. He’s the greatest man I’ve ever known. I hope I can be like him one day.”

  Fox laid his head on my leg and yawned. “He was a great man. What was his name?”

  I wanted to make sure his name was never forgotten. “His name is Joe.”

  I laid back down and pulled the blanket over me and Fox. He cuddled up to my side. He felt warm and comfortable. We were both exhausted. I wasn’t even sure if half of what I said made any sense.

  I flicked the flashlight off. “Fox?”

  “Yes?”

  “It still smells like sour cream and onion in here.” I couldn’t get the taste out of my mouth. It was disgusting.

  “Nah,” he said. “It smells more like wet farts.” We both giggled.

  I had one last thought before I closed my eyes and fell asleep. “I’m glad you’re my best friend.”

  He yawned for the last time. “And I’m glad you’re mine.”

  SATURDAY MORNING

  My mom woke me up early in the morning and told me to get ready. She was crazy! First of all, how did she find me inside of that den? Second, I wasn’t going anywhere without Fox.

  “We’re going to the Farmers Market,” my mom said. “Come on — the day won’t wait for us forever.” I was pretty sure the day would wait however long we needed it to.

  “What about Fox?” I asked, pointing at him next to me. He was still asleep, and his tongue was sticking sideways out of his mouth. There was slobber everywhere.

  “He’ll be fine,” my mom assured me. “Uncle Mike and Dana came back to watch him.” She threw a t-shirt and a pair of jeans at me. “Get dressed.” She walked out of the den and out of my room.

  I slid the clothes on but didn’t understand why we were doing this. Our number one priority had to be to protect Fox — not to sell rotten eggs at the farmers market.

  Fox woke up and wiped the slobber off his chin. “Where am I? And is there any chicken?”

  I shook my head and told him about what my mom had planned. He didn’t seem to care one way or the other. He kept talking about how his stomach was growling and he needed chicken. Barbecued chicken, baked chicken, fried chicken, chicken pot pie, chicken soup, chicken and rice — he wouldn’t stop talking about it.

  I led him into the kitchen. My mom and uncle were sitting at the table, drinking coffee. “Haven’t seen the two chairs that are missing, have you?” my mom asked. Sure, they were in my room. I had to keep them as long as Fox was with us so we’d have a den.

  “I have no idea what you’re talking about,” I told her. She winked at me.

  Dana ran into the kitchen and threw her arms around Fox. “Good morning!” she shouted. I couldn’t believe how happy she was to see him. It was weird to see her like that when she was always so bossy. “What do you want to do today?”

  He looked around at everyone in the room. “Eat chicken.” I laughed because that’s all he ever wanted to do. Dana would get bored with him soon enough.

  My uncle shook his head and grunted. “This isn’t right,” he muttered. “It�
�s not natural.”

  “Why can’t we stay here?” I asked my mom. I didn’t think it was safe to leave Fox with my uncle. He was a hunter and he didn’t like Fox.

  “We need to go,” my mom said. “We don’t want to draw any attention to ourselves. Everyone is expecting us to be there.” She was right. We had made a lot of friends at the farmers market and had a ton of loyal customers.

  I didn’t eat any breakfast because I felt sick leaving Fox at home. I gave Dana instructions for keeping Fox entertained. He loved watching cartoons after he realized they weren’t real and they weren’t after him. My uncle Mike stared at Fox — I wasn’t sure he wouldn’t be after him.

  One of the last things I heard when I walked out the door with my mom was Dana saying, “We can have a tea party.”

  As expected, Fox replied back, “I have a better idea. We can have a chicken party.”

  “There’s our table,” my mom said when we got to the farmers market. Everyone knew it belonged to us because my mom reserved it every Saturday for the rest of the year. It was the same wooden table we started at months ago when we didn’t know anyone in town.

  “Good morning, ya’ll,” Mr. Jim Bob said in his strong country accent. His table was right next to ours and full of fruits and vegetables he had grown in his own backyard. I never saw him without that big straw hat on his head. I wondered what his hair looked like — or if he even had any left.

  “Good morning to you, Jim Bob,” my mom replied, helping me set the eggs from our chickens on our table. We still sold half a dozen eggs for six dollars. I never understood why we didn’t just say they were one dollar each. “Can I interest you in some fresh eggs today?”

  Mr. Jim Bob shook his head and said, “I appreciate the offer, ma’am — but there’s no way in God’s green earth I’d ever eat your eggs again.” He stared at me when I chuckled.