Sorcha's Heart

by Mumford, Debbie

  Gods and goddesses! She’d been so lost in murderous thoughts she hadn’t heard him coming. Thankfully, her thoughts had been firmly lodged in the most private portion of her mind.

  “No,” she said truthfully, “though I practiced healing as a wizard.” Without giving herself time to think about it, she plunged into the subject that obsessed her thoughts. “No one has explained the bonding process to me,” she said bluntly. “How do dragons choose their mates?”

  He looked startled, even took a step backward before he stopped himself. “Well, when a couple is attracted, they spend time together, get to know each other, and then, well, they bond.” He turned and headed for the passage that led to the flight cliff. “Aren’t you supposed to be with Lorcan? My flight group should be assembled by now.”

  “That was a non-answer,” she said, following him out of the great gallery. “How do dragons bond?”

  He picked up his pace and pulled ahead of her. “I’m late, Sorcha. My students are expecting me. Besides,” he cast a glance over his shoulder as he reached a turn in the corridor, “that is a question for Etna, not me.” He disappeared around the bend and his words faded as well.

  “Coward,” she thought after him.

  Later, Etna refused to expand on Caedyrn’s answer, so Sorcha sought out a sure source of information, if not knowledge.

  “May I join you?” she asked as she peered into the entrance of Morna’s lair.

  “Of course,” said Morna.

  “Definitely,” chorused Oona, Nuala and Sabia.

  “We thought you’d never ask,” said Keeva.

  She stepped inside the round room carved long ago by dragon magic. The nests of the young females lined the walls, and were satisfyingly scrunchy masses of limbs, river rocks and the occasional precious stone. The center of the chamber, where the females gathered to groom and chat, was bare, polished ice.

  Keeva and Sabia reclined on their nests while Oona and Morna burnished Nuala’s scales with alternating puffs of steam and fingers of fire. Nuala basked in the attention.

  “My mentors have been avoiding my questions today,” Sorcha said. “I wondered if you could answer them for me.”

  The three in the center froze, while the two on their nests quickly sat up.

  Morna recovered first. “You asked a question they wouldn’t answer?”

  Sorcha nodded and the others encouraged her into the center of the room.

  “Ooooo,” said Keeva. “It must have been really bad! Elders are bound to answer our questions.”

  Oona nudged Keeva aside. “Don’t mind her,” she said, her voice dripping smug superiority. “Keeva just loves juicy gossip.”

  “As if you don’t,” cried Keeva.

  Sabia pushed between the snorting blue and mauve. “Peace, friends. Let’s hear the question!”

  “Yes,” said Nuala, the usually shy dragon’s eyes shone with excitement. “What did you ask?”

  “Well, I didn’t think it was forbidden or anything,” said Sorcha, beginning to worry that she might offend the young females. “I just asked how dragons bond. Um, I mean, how you choose your bond-mate. Though, I must admit, I’m curious about the actual mating, too.”

  “And they wouldn’t tell you?” Morna looked appalled. “There’s nothing secret or offensive about that.”

  Sorcha looked around the circle and saw multicolored expressions droop with disappointment. All but one, Oona looked thoughtful.

  “What is it, Oona?” she asked.

  “Well, it’s probably nothing, but...” She stopped and her lair mates butted her with noses and triangular tails. “Okay. I heard the Rex telling Lorcan and Etna that Sorcha isn’t to be allowed to rise.”

  “No!”

  “You must have misunderstood.”

  “They wouldn’t do that.”

  Oona nodded wisely. “It’s because she’s human,” she said, giving Sorcha an apologetic glance. “The Rex doesn’t want her joining the flight, because he isn’t sure what she is.”

  A cold lump formed in the pit of Sorcha’s stomach. If she couldn’t be a human, and the dragons didn’t want her, what would she do? She pushed the thought away and concentrated on a more tangible question.

  “What do you mean, I’m not to be allowed to rise? Does he mean politically?”

  Five pairs of eyes stared at her blankly. Finally Morna blinked. “Politically?” she asked.

  Sabia laughed. “No, Sorcha. He means he doesn’t want you to mate. Once a year, all the eligible females rise for their mating flight. Those of us who fly high enough have the opportunity to bond during that flight.”

  Varied pieces of information suddenly formed a recognizable picture. Caedyrn saying her odd color was exotic and attractive — his angry reaction to the young males’ comments — the Rex arguing with him about bonding. Realization hit Sorcha like a breaker pounding the beach. If she’d still had a human body, the psychic blow might have knocked her off her feet. Caedyrn and the Rex had been arguing about her. Caedyrn wanted to mate with her, a human wizard turned to dragon by a magical talisman. Joy filled her soul and tingled down to her toes and tail. Maybe spending the rest of her life as a dragon wouldn’t be so bad after all. If only she could bond with Caedyrn...

  “Sorcha? Are you alright?” Sabia sounded worried, and when Sorcha glanced up, she found all five of the young females watching her closely.

  She shook herself, a massive, body-wide shiver, and said, “Yes, I’m fine. It’s okay. The Rex probably thinks I’m too inexperienced for such things. And he’s right. I’ve still got so much to learn about being a dragon.”

  This statement eased the tension in the room. The lair-mates burst into excited speculation about which males might make good bond-mates, and Sorcha relaxed to listen and think.

  A mating flight. Suddenly the comments she’d overheard from the group of males had meaning. Her first flight. They hadn’t meant the first time she flew; they’d meant the first time she would participate in the mating ritual. Her mind whirled with the implications. She had suitors. Charcoal Goban, scarlet Toal and malachite Heber had been making seemingly good- natured comments to her about practicing her flying and improving her wind ever since that first encounter. Her human side groaned as she remembered the many times she’d answered that she loved to fly! Gods and goddesses, she’d been making sexually suggestive remarks without even knowing it. Those young males probably thought she was interested in them.

  Another question lit her mind, and Sorcha blurted out, “Do dragons ever engage in sex without bonding?”

  All chatter stopped. The group’s attention centered on Sorcha and silence reigned.

  At last, Morna answered. “Humans must be very strange creatures,” she said. “We females rise once a year, and if we mate and bear a clutch, we don’t feel the urge to rise again until the hatchlings have graduated to dragonets. Why would we squander such a precious moment on males unworthy of forming a lifelong bond?”

  “No, Sorcha,” Sabia said quietly. “As young unbondeds, we participate in the flight and try to fly high enough to qualify for a bond-mate. But there’s more to it than flying. Once we’re mature enough to reach mating height, we’ve already chosen the males we’ll allow to catch us.”

  “It’s a race,” said Oona, “and it’s exhilarating, but it’s not random.”

  “Yeah,” said Keeva, her eyes glowing with excitement, “and if an unbonded male gets excited and tries to catch a female who hasn’t consented, she’s allowed to attack him!”

  “Only if her rightful male doesn’t scorch him first,” added Nuala, thumping her tail in emphasis.

  “So, there aren’t ever any bonding mistakes? No rogue males ravish unwilling females? No female says ‘yes’ to one male and then changes her mind mid-flight and allows another to catch her?”

  The atmosphere in the room grew heavy, and the lair mates shifted positions uneasily. “Well, yes,” said Morna. “We’ve heard whispers of such things.”

&n
bsp; “But they’re not common,” said Sabia.

  “And dragons that commit such crimes are banished from the flight,” said Oona with a prim little sniff. “We don’t tolerate such misbehavior.”

  “Of course,” added Nuala, “a female is free to change her mind until she bonds, as are the males.”

  “But I’ve never heard of anyone changing their choice during the mating flight,” said Morna.

  “Like Sabia said, there’s more to it than the excitement of the moment.”

  “I’m sorry,” Sorcha said, wishing to dispel the serious mood. “I hope I didn’t offend.”

  “Don’t worry,” Sabia said. “You can’t learn if you don’t ask questions. I can’t believe the elders wouldn’t discuss these things with you.”

  “Yeah!”

  “Tsk.”

  “Completely irresponsible.”

  And the group slid into a rousing chat about how they’d be more responsive to the needs of the young when they became elders. In the midst of covering laughter and unflattering comments about their teachers, Sorcha made her way to the corridor. She needed peace and quiet to sort through the evening’s information.

  “Good night, Sorcha.” Morna’s voice sounded quietly in her mind. “Come and join us anytime.”

  She smiled to herself and continued toward her solitary lair. “Good night, ladies.”

  Chapter Five

  The Bonding

  Sorcha loved the crisp cleanliness of the ice aerie on bright summer mornings. The brilliant sun sparkled against bone-white ice and thrilled her soul with diamonds of reflected light. The sky, which welcomed her eager flight, shone a clear, cold blue not possible in the softer, hazier atmosphere of her human homelands. The aerie itself, formed by dragon magic from an ancient glacier, soothed her with its cold, slick surfaces; nothing to catch on scale or claw, only the glassy smooth luxury of ice. And the cold! What a blissful antidote to the fiery magic that raged within.

  But magic wasn’t the only fire that burned dragonkind. Not long after Morna and her friends instructed Sorcha in the ways of bonding, she became aware of an increasingly intense interest in the males of the aerie. Suddenly, their presence overwhelmed her whenever she entered the great gallery. Not only could she distinguish each by color and size, but heightened senses categorized each eligible male by smell, and the very sound of their claws and scales upon the icy corridors.

  Four males loomed in Sorcha’s imagination. Caedyrn, of course—black, massive, a born leader. He smelled of sulfur, salt, and masculine virility. And the sound of his scales sliding toward her as he approached for a training flight nearly drove her mad with fiery longing. But Caedyrn had company in her increasingly frenzied dreams. Goban, whose charcoal scales shone almost as darkly as Caedyrn’s, often drew her gaze as he passed through the great gallery. And her conversations with malachite Heber had taken a more intimate tone of late. Finally, there was Toal; fun-loving, unpretentious, and utterly charming Toal. The scarlet male, with his comforting smell of burning leaves and rich, raw earth, came closest to dislodging Caedyrn from her thoughts. Close, but never quite close enough. Even when she flirted outrageously with one of the other males, Caedyrn dominated her thoughts.

  She’d noticed that he’d become more aloof, the more at ease she’d become with the rest of the flight. Perhaps she’d flown to the wrong conclusion. Perhaps he didn’t want to bond with her after all. He certainly didn’t lavish her with attention the way her other three suitors did.

  Toal had introduced her to the ice slide. Gods and goddesses! What fun she’d had sliding down that incredibly steep slope only to be launched into heart-pounding flight at the end. They’d snuck away from training and spent an exhilarating afternoon playing just last week.

  She relished the philosophical discussions she had with Heber — the malachite’s intelligence rivaled the deepest human thinker she’d ever met. And, oh my, could his agile mind find its way around an innuendo. When she failed to react to some of his more subtle verbal wooing, he always chuckled and explained where the barb lay hidden in his thoughts. He was a dragon who could keep her guessing for a lifetime.

  Goban. She sighed, thinking of powerful Goban. The charcoal held none of Heber’s subtlety, and lacked Toal’s sense of fun, but exuded a powerful attraction with his dark strength. Yum.

  Sorcha closed her eyes and pretended she couldn’t smell and hear the various males in her vicinity. Her human side resented this heightened awareness. She’d managed to remain free of human sexual entanglements her entire life. Why should this dragon body be able to derail her mental control in such a short period of time? She shook her head and decided she needed space and privacy to meditate, to rid herself of unwanted desire.

  But before she could seek solitude, her senses alerted her to Caedyrn’s approach. Against her will, she breathed in a deep, lung-expanding gulp of his delicious scent. Tingles of delight raced through her system and she exhaled a sensuous sigh. She might not be his choice for bond-mate, but she knew he would always be hers. The other three males paled to mere dalliance beside her Caedyrn.

  “Are you well, Sorcha?” he asked when he reached her side. “You look disoriented.”

  “I’m fine,” she said, relishing his nearness. “Do we have a lesson scheduled this morning?”

  “No, but I thought if you were free, we might chat while we sun on the ridge.”

  Her blood bubbled with delight and she fought an urge to rub her head against his neck. “I’d like that.”

  Caedyrn led the way, while Sorcha savored the sound of his progress as well as the sight of his sleekly folded wings and heavily muscled hips and tail. He’d told her once that dragon mating was strenuous exercise; she wondered exactly how it occurred. When the time came, would he cover her like a stallion on a mare? Her tail twitched to one side and her desire burned hotter still. Gods and goddesses, she’d melt the glacier if she followed that train of thought!

  Etna interrupted Sorcha’s ruminations with an impatient call. “Where are you, Sorcha?”

  “I’m on my way to the heights with Caedyrn,” she said, forcing her mind into ordered calmness. “Did I forget a lesson?”

  “No, nothing like that.” The elder female’s mind-voice sounded agitated. “Everything is fine, but keep me apprised of your location today. We may need to go on an errand for the Rex.”

  “Certainly, Etna.”

  Sorcha glanced at Caedyrn as they settled into well-worn wallows on the sunny ridge and switched to their private link. “That was odd. Etna said she and I might need to do an errand for the Rex,” she told him, stretching her wings for maximum exposure to the sun’s blissful heat. Ah, this was heaven. Fire and ice—glacial cold on one side, sun-baked warmth on the other — the opposing sensations almost drove Caedyrn’s presence from her mind. Almost.

  “An errand for the Rex?” he said. “Hmmm.”

  They sunned in silence for a time before Sorcha’s curiosity forced a question. “Did you have something you wanted to discuss?”

  He folded one wing and rolled to one side to face her. “Yes. You seem to be making a place for yourself in the flight. Are you content?”

  “Content? Why, yes. I suppose so. Why do you ask?”

  He studied her for a moment before responding. “I suppose I’m really asking if you’re content to remain a dragon? Do you wish to return to human form?”

  Sorcha’s heart thumped painfully and her breath came in ragged gasps. “Are you offering me a choice?” she asked. “Do you know how to reverse the transformation?”

  He blinked rapidly and bumped her neck with his snout. “No,” he whispered. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to imply... I’m doing this badly.”

  Sorcha held her silence and allowed her heart to resume its normal pace. How strange. Relief, not disappointment, flooded her soul. Relief that she wouldn’t be required to choose between Caedyrn and her real life.

  “You seem to enjoy spending time with Toal and Heber,” Cae
dyrn said, pulling her thoughts back to their conversation.

  “Yes, they’re very entertaining.”

  “Do you prefer one over the other?”

  She turned her head and gazed directly into his red eyes. Something glittered in their depths that she couldn’t quite name. “These aren’t idle questions. What are you getting at?”

  He held her gaze without blinking. “I’m asking if you’re prepared to bond with one of the males you’ve been spending time with?”

  Her heartbeat quickened and she sat up, preparing herself for flight. “I don’t see that that’s any of your business.”

  He rose as well and placed himself between Sorcha and the ledge, blocking easy escape. “It is my business,” he said, his words a dangerous rumble in the depths of her mind. “Dragons mate for life. An understanding must be reached before the female rises.”

  “What? I don’t...”

  “Sorcha!” Etna’s voice rang through several layers of Sorcha’s awareness. Caedyrn winced as he caught the echoes of her call.

  Sorcha grimaced at Caedyrn and answered, “Yes?”

  “Come to me now, Sorcha. I am in my lair.”

  “But I’m talking to...”

  “Now, Sorcha!” Agitation tinged the elder female’s command.

  “Yes, honored one.”

  Sorcha sighed and moved toward the entrance that led to the warren of corridors. “I’m sorry, Caedyrn. We’ll finish this later.”

  “Yes,” he growled. “We will.”

  As Sorcha snaked through the seemingly endless passageways from the heights to Etna’s lair, she noted an odd sensation in the pit of her stomach. At first she thought she was hungry, but that didn’t make sense. She and Morna and the others had flown down the mountain and gorged on a herd of mountain goats just last week. Perhaps it was nerves. Maybe the possibility of an errand for the Rex had her on edge.

  By the time she reached the great gallery, the sensation had moved from annoying to urgent.