The Golden Angel

by Gilbert, Morris

  “We don’t need publicity. We’ve got all the offers we can take care of.”

  “But Derek says I might have a real future in motion pictures.”

  “You’re grown up, and you’re going to do what you want to no matter what anyone says.”

  “That’s not fair! I want to talk about it, but you’ve kept away from me for two days now. I want to know why.”

  “Did you talk to your grandparents about this?”

  “Yes, I did.”

  “What did they say?”

  Erin could not answer for a moment, and then she lifted her chin and said, “They didn’t think it would be a good idea.”

  “What about your parents? What do you think they’ll think about it?”

  “I don’t know. They haven’t had time to answer my letter yet.” Erin experienced a quick flash of guilt, for she knew very well what her parents would say. They were just barely reconciled to her flying a stunt plane, and she knew their opinion of Hollywood. Now she began to protest, saying, “You must not have a very high opinion of me to think I could be led astray.”

  “I’ve seen it happen before.”

  “Well, it wouldn’t happen to me. It would just be a job.”

  Quaid shook his head, and his mouth was set in a determined line. “Look, Erin, you don’t need all of this. We’ve done so well. You’ve got your picture in magazines and newspapers. You’re not going to get rich at it, but you’ve told me many times that isn’t what you want anyway. So what can Hollywood do for you?”

  “I just think it would be good for the act.”

  “That’s the first dishonest thing I’ve ever heard you say, Erin. You’re not thinking of the act. I think you’re stuck on Derek Wells.”

  A rich crimson crept up Erin’s cheeks, and she clamped her lips together tightly. The wind ruffled the bright scarlet silk shirt she wore. She was angry that the people she most cared about didn’t seem to understand her feelings in this. Her grandparents had made it clear to her they felt it would be a mistake for her to go to Hollywood with Derek Wells. Her grandfather had said, “I like the fellow well enough. He’s a real charmer, but it’s the world he lives in that bothers me. It would be a danger to any young woman. I don’t think you ought to do it.”

  It had grieved Erin that she could not take her grandfather’s advice wholeheartedly, but something in her wanted more. Her visit to see Dr. Oz had proven to be a significant boost to her self-esteem, and now she found herself wanting to pursue her dreams. Being able to explain the learning problems that had plagued her all her life—even being able to give them a name—encouraged her that she was not stupid after all. She was realizing for the first time that she could truly be as successful in life as anyone; it was just a matter of finding her own unique gifts. To some extent she had been doing that already with her business ventures and flying, but now she wanted more. Though she still had to contend with the dyslexia the doctor had described, she knew she could learn to overcome this obstacle, just as surely as she had many others in her life.

  Now this offer to make a movie was before her, and she was determined not to let others deprive her of a golden opportunity. Who could say whether or not God himself might be leading her in this direction?

  “I intend to go, Quaid—with or without you.” With a determined sigh, she shrugged her shoulders and walked away.

  Quaid watched her go, and a troubled frown showed itself in the creases around his eyes. She’s making a mistake, but she’s not going to listen to me or anybody else.

  ****

  The group gathered around the dinner table a few days later was unusually quiet. Erin had gone out with Derek for the second night in a row, and for some reason this had dampened the enthusiasm in the Winslow household, so that conversation became difficult. Amelia was the only one who seemed untouched by Erin’s absence. She spoke brightly and cheerfully, mostly to Quaid, drawing from him stories of the war.

  Finally Lola said, “Amelia, don’t you see that Quaid doesn’t like to talk about those times?”

  “I don’t see why not,” Amelia said defensively. “I think it was a good thing.”

  “I suspect it might be best to let that time go by,” Mark said. “There are some times in my life I’d just as soon not think about, certainly not talk about.”

  Amelia had no choice but to cease questioning him, but after the meal was over and Phillip and his grandfather had withdrawn to the study for their usual game of chess, she said, “Quaid, I’m bored to death. It’s early. Why don’t we go for a drive or something?”

  Quaid shook his head. “I’m pretty tired, Amelia.” But she went over to him, took his arm in both of hers, and smiled coyly up at him. Finally he said, “All right, I guess we could take a quick turn.”

  Amelia at once ran in to tell her grandmother. “Quaid’s going to take me out for a drive.”

  Lola cocked an eyebrow. “All right, but don’t stay out too late. Quaid has to be up early in the morning. They’ve got a show, you remember.”

  “Oh, we won’t be late.”

  Lola watched with some apprehension as her granddaughter left the house. She went alone to the parlor to finish her letters, one of them to Andrew and Dorothy. She ran into difficulties as she tried to explain to them about Amelia. A frown crossed her face as she continued to write:

  I know you’ve been concerned about Amelia. You’ve hinted at the fact that she has a rebelliousness in her that has given you grief. I think I have actually seen little of that on the outside, but there is a restless spirit in Amelia that troubles me. Mark and I have been so happy to have her and Phillip here with us, and we’re going to do all we can to help them both. I wish you two could come and spend time with us, but until you get here, rest assured that we will do everything we can to see that the children are all right.

  ****

  In the half darkness of the theater, Quaid wondered how he had gotten there. The drive had turned out to be short enough, but Amelia had begged to go see a movie, and the one she had chosen starred Dolores Costello. The sensuous story was making him feel uncomfortable, and he wished he had not allowed Amelia to talk him into this.

  Now he felt the pressure of her shoulder against his, and when she leaned closer to whisper something about the movie, he caught a heady whiff of her perfume. He distrusted his own opinions about Amelia Winslow. The rest of the family seemed to be straitlaced, and certainly Erin had taught him that the women of her family did not have loose morals. He could not bring himself to believe that Amelia was a loose woman, but he could also see how men could be led to that conclusion.

  When the movie was over, Amelia jumped up and said, “That was wonderful!”

  Slowly Quaid unfolded his long length and stood to his feet. “You really think it was?”

  “Of course I did. Didn’t you?”

  “I think her parents should have taken a paddle to her.”

  “Oh, you’re as bad as my parents! Come on.” Taking his hand, Amelia practically hauled him down the aisle and out of the theater. When they got to the car, he opened the door for her, and she got in. When he was behind the wheel and started the car, she said, “It’s too early to go back yet.”

  “Early! What are you talking about? It’s after ten o’clock.”

  “Oh, don’t be such an old man! Come on, let’s go to a speakeasy.”

  Quaid laughed without meaning to. Quaid thought surely Amelia was teasing him. “What in the world makes you think I’d take you to one of those places?” The speakeasies were usually guarded, and people were permitted in only if the proprietors knew them. Liquor was served illegally, of course. “It’s time to go home,” he said firmly. He pulled the car out, and as they moved along, he said, “I’d have a hard time explaining to your grandparents if I took you to one of those places.”

  “Have you ever been?”

  When Quaid did not respond, she reached over and tugged at his sleeve. “You see? You’ve been, so why can’t I go?”


  “That’s different.”

  “I don’t mean to do any harm. I just want to see what it’s like.”

  “You wouldn’t like it, Amelia. It’s a bunch of people getting drunk. That’s never exciting.”

  As they motored through the darkness Amelia pouted for a time. Finally he asked her, “What do you want to do while you’re here in the States? Have you started looking for a job yet?”

  “Not yet, but I’ll find one. Right now I’m enjoying everything too much.” She inched closer to him on the seat. “I’ll tell you what I’d like to do. Erin’s going to go to Hollywood to be in a movie. I’d like to go with her. Maybe Derek could find a part for me in the same picture.”

  Quaid was acutely aware of her leg against his, and when she turned, her body brushed his upper arm. He could not move any farther away and was distinctly uncomfortable. “She might change her mind about going,” he argued, not really believing it himself.

  Amelia laughed. “Don’t be silly! Of course she’s going. Any woman in America would snap at a chance like that.”

  “Your grandparents don’t think so.”

  “Oh, they’re wonderful grandparents, but they’re a thousand years behind.”

  Quaid did not answer, but when they reached the house and got out of the car, he was thinking of what Amelia had said. They went up the steps together and suddenly she caught his arm. “I don’t want to go in yet. It’s too early. Sit down and talk for a while.”

  Quaid protested. “It’s too late!” But she pulled him over to one of the wicker love seats and practically pushed him into it.

  Amelia sat by him and said, “You act like an old man sometimes, Quaid. How old are you, anyway?”

  “Twenty-six.”

  “My, what a young-looking face you have, Grandpa.” As she said this, Amelia reached over and took Quaid’s jaw, pulling at it playfully. She let her hand remain there and moved his face around so that she could look at him. The moonlight flooded the porch and filtered through the branches of the trees in a silver network on the ground. The air was rich with the smell of honeysuckle, but underlying that, to Quaid, was the perfume she was wearing. She was pressing against him, and she tilted her face up, smiling at him. She had a firm chin and there was an inviting smoothness to her lips. He was unprepared for what happened next. With her left hand still on his cheek, she suddenly put her other arm around him and threw herself fully against him. Caught by the beauty of the girl and stirred by the fragrance rising from her, he put his arms around her and held her tightly. Then he brought her around until her face was close to his and kissed her without restraint.

  The kiss was not something he had planned, but his manly drives and emotions momentarily eclipsed his reason, and as she continued to press her lips against his, he lost himself in the moment. He was a decent man and never took advantage of a woman, but still he was a man, and her eager willingness had worn his restraint thin and taken him off guard.

  Suddenly a sound broke through the moment, and he pushed her away and turned on the love seat. For a moment he could not see who it was, but then he came to his feet as the moonlight fell on Erin’s face.

  Her voice was as cold as the pale gleam of the moonlight. “I think you’d better go in the house, Amelia.”

  Amelia stood and shook her hair back. “Don’t be silly, Erin. This is none of your business.”

  “I don’t think your parents would be very pleased if I didn’t say something.”

  Quaid had rarely felt so uncomfortable. He said quickly, “It was just a kiss.”

  “I could see that!” Erin’s voice was as dry as dust, and she was holding herself stiffly.

  The three stood there in a silent tableau, and then Amelia laughed, “You’re nothing but a Puritan, Erin! Like Quaid said, it was nothing but a kiss.” She moved away then, patting Quaid on the shoulder. “Thanks for the evening, Quaid. It was fun.”

  Erin did not speak until the noise of the closing door reached her, and then she said, “I’m sorry you did that, Quaid.”

  The impulse to explain rushed through Quaid, but he knew that no explanation would suffice. He had seen this stubborn expression on Erin’s face before, and now, besides the stubbornness, he also saw her extreme disappointment in him. He remembered her warnings about Amelia and felt like a fool for his behavior.

  Erin was shocked by her own anger at the sight of the two embracing. She was usually sweet-tempered, but this scene had stirred her ire.

  Quaid shrugged, trying to make light of the situation. “I took her for a drive and to a movie, and we sat down here for a moment to talk.”

  “You weren’t talking, Quaid.”

  Quaid felt his face grow warm. “It was my fault,” he said, knowing all the time that was not true.

  “I warned you she was an impressionable young woman. I’m disappointed in you.”

  “You want to get another pilot?”

  “I might just do that.”

  “Fine! I think that might be best.” He turned, brushed past her as he went inside, and left her standing in the moonlight.

  She opened her mouth, intending to call him back, but pride got the best of her, and she stood there wishing she had not been so impulsive. I’ll apologize to him in the morning. If I know Amelia, she was the one who instigated that kiss, not Quaid.

  ****

  In the morning when Erin came down to breakfast, she found that Quaid was gone. She asked her grandmother about it.

  “He left very early this morning,” Lola said. “I didn’t talk to him. I assumed it was something to do with the show you’re going to put on today.”

  Erin nodded. “Yes, I suppose he had to go see about the airplanes.”

  “He didn’t say anything to me,” Rev said, surprise in his eyes. “I think I’d better get over there and see if I can give him a hand.”

  Erin said nothing to Amelia during breakfast, but before she left to go to the airfield to get ready for the show, Amelia came to stand before her. “Well, I suppose you’re happy. You’ve managed to run Quaid off.”

  “What are you talking about?”

  “You had a quarrel with him after I left last night, didn’t you?” Amelia challenged.

  “We had a few words. We’ve had them before.”

  “You know what’s wrong with you? You’re jealous. You can’t stand any competition.”

  Anger caused Erin to speak quickly and harshly. “Don’t be foolish, Amelia! There’s nothing between Quaid and me.”

  Amelia stared at her for a moment. “Is that so?”

  “Why, of course it is.”

  “Then why did you get so angry last night? It was just a kiss.”

  Erin could not explain to her cousin that she feared the direction Amelia was taking. She said in a kinder tone, “I’m sorry, Amelia. Let’s not quarrel. I was too hasty last night, and I’ll tell Quaid so.”

  Amelia smiled at once. “I’m glad to hear you say that. Really, it was innocent. We just went for a drive and a movie. We were talking, and you know how it is in the moonlight and all. It just happened.”

  Erin forced herself to smile. “All right. I’ll make up with him.”

  ****

  “What do you mean he’s not here?” Erin demanded. She had gone to the airfield late, only half an hour before the performance, and had been shocked when Rev had asked her if she knew where Quaid was. “I thought he was here,” Erin said, bewildered. “He hasn’t been here at all?”

  “Nobody’s seen him,” Rev said rather nervously. “We’ve only got twenty minutes. I wonder if he had an accident.”

  Erin did not think this was the case. She stood gnawing her lip for a moment and finally said, “Rev, do you think you can fly in Quaid’s place today?”

  “I can do some of the easy stuff, but not the hard things. Why don’t you just cancel?”

  “We can’t do that. Everybody’s come for the show. Well, let’s revise our program, then. We’ll have to tell the manager w
hat’s happened.”

  “I don’t like this,” Rev said. “I’m not that good a flier.”

  In the end they gave a performance after a fashion. The manager had been angry, for this was not what he was paying for, but Rev did a creditable job, although they did not try anything difficult. There was no wing walking that day, and the crowd was disappointed. Erin knew as they landed that the papers the next day would have something to say about this.

  Rev turned to the planes to check them over, as he did after every performance. When Erin came to speak to him, he said, “Something’s happened to Quaid. He’s never missed a performance.”

  “We’ve got to try to find him.”

  “Find him! In New York? How would we do that, Erin? We can’t go up and down the streets calling for him.”

  “We’ve got to try something! Maybe we ought to call the police. He might have had an accident.”

  Rev bowed his head. “I think you’re right. If he is hurt somewhere, they might not know who to call. You get started on that and I’ll put the planes to bed.”

  ****

  Night had fallen on the city as Quaid Merritt walked slowly down the streets of Manhattan’s East Side. He had been like a man in a trance most of the day. He had hardly slept the previous night, for the quarrel with Erin had disturbed him greatly. All day long the thought of getting drunk had been on his mind. It came at first with a shock, and he had shrugged it off, but as the day had worn on and night had come, a sense of depression fell upon him.

  What difference does it make whether I get drunk or not? I’m not going to fly with her ever again anyway.

  The reasoning sounded weak even to him. At first he had been angry with himself for kissing Amelia, but he knew that it went deeper than that. It had something to do with his feelings for Erin. He had disappointed her and knew that he would have a difficult time forgetting the hurt expression in her eyes and the anger—along with another emotion he could not identify.

  He wandered aimlessly, paying no attention to the crowds surrounding him. How much time passed he did not know. He was aware of an emptiness in his spirit, and somehow he knew that the confrontation with Erin was more than just a small quarrel. He had been relatively happy on the surface ever since he and Erin had started their careers together, but even during that time there had been moments of despair. The war had marked him more deeply than he knew, and lately the nightmares had been coming back—haunting images and sounds of young men going up out of the trenches and being slaughtered with the bullets of German fighters. He dreamed often of his best friend, killed so horrifically just a few days before the armistice. Along with the nightmares came a black depression that would stay with him even as he went about his daily tasks. He had not told anyone about these night terrors, but had struggled to keep them buried deep inside.