Clan of Redemption

by Rushell Ann

  *********

  “Well Saska, that was weird, Logan having a brother, I guess he resembles Logan in his build, but that’s really about it. He doesn’t seem to have any of Logan’s charm,” I said to Saska as we walked away from Logan's funeral.

  I’m already use to Saska being with me that I’m starting to talk to him, like he’s Logan.

  Why did I lie about the dog and how long he has been in our family, the lie just slipped right out of mouth, which isn’t like me? I felt like I needed to protect him, or was he the one protecting me.

  We had to walk home because Dad and driven and I didn’t want to stay until the end of the service and dealing with all those that knew how close Logan and I were. I decided to go to Logan’s house later and pay my respects to Sam, just not now. When we got home, I realized that I didn’t have any dog food, I'll have to make a trip to the store soon. I found some left over’s in the fridge for Saska and I made myself a salad and some lemonade. My Dad wasn’t home from the funeral yet, but I was glad because I didn’t want him to bring up Moms letter again.

  Saska finished his food and went outside with me for a few minutes. I went over to the tree swing that my Dad made for me when I was young and I sat down. My mind started fast tracking with memories of Logan. Saska came over to me and lay beside the swing.

  The wind was lightly blowing outside and the clouds were stating to roll in, it wasn’t dark outside but definitely gray. A gust of wind kicked up in my face and that smell was there again. I know that smell, where do I know that smell from? It felt like I was kicked in the chest, the memories were rolling through my mind as if it was really happening. It was the day of my mother’s funeral and I was swinging outside thinking about my mother overwhelmed with sorrow when a dog jumped through the hedges that lined our back yard. The dog knocked me off my swing and I hit the ground.

  That’s it, the dog. I left the swing, went in the house and upstairs to my room, pulled out my photo album from the closet, and started flipping through the pages and I found it. There is was a picture of Saska with me in the back yard when I was eight or at least it looked like Saska, smaller, younger maybe, but it was him, I was sure, absolutely sure. Saska was sitting next to me when this realization hit me, and he put a paw on my arm.

  “So are you the same dog from when my mom died, I was wondering where I knew your smell from. So…..how is that possible, where have you been for the last ten years?” I said as I petted him. This couldn’t be the same dog, he doesn’t look that old.

  The dog just stared at me, but I couldn’t shake this feeling I was having.

  When I was eight this young dog just shows up and hangs around for about six months then just disappears one day. My Dad and I thought that maybe he ran away or that his family finally found him. We had checked with the shelters, but he was never picked up by anyone.

  As I was thinking about all this stuff Dad and gotten home and managed to come upstairs without me noticing.

  “Next time let me know you're leaving, so I don't worry, ok," my dad said to me but he could tell I wasn't really listening to him. "Hey, what are you in deep thought about?” my dad asked as he was leaning in the doorway.

  I snapped out of it.

  “Sorry, I stayed for awhile, but left when you were almost done. Look at this picture of when I was nine, I think you took it,” I said as I turned the album around to face him.

  Dad walked over to my bed and sat next to me and looked at it.

  “Yeah, I remember that dog. I was grateful you had something to hold onto that got you through that time,” he said solemnly.

  “The dog, look at the dog!” I said all excited.

  “I remember that dog, he came right after your….yeah I remember him, I wondered what had happened to that dog, I liked him.” my dad said as he turned the photo album back to me.

  “No dad, look at Saska, now tell me this isn’t the same dog from when I was eight,” I said with determination.

  “Oh honey that can’t be the same dog, I will admit they do look similar, but the dog in the picture is different,” he said as he stood up.

  “Dad, it’s the same dog,” I said as I closed the album.

  “No honey it’s not, but they do resemble each other,” he said as he started to leave my room.

  “Hey, by the way, thanks for sticking around after the service. I had to make excuses as to where you went,” he said with a frown on his face.

  “Sorry Dad, but I didn’t really feel like talking to anybody.”

  “I understand, but next time at least let me know ahead of time,” he said as he walked out of my room.

  My Dad is pretty easy going as long as I’m honest with him, especially since my Mom died.

  I was so exhausted from the last few days, I just wanted to sleep and not think about anything. I laid down on my bed thinking about Blake. He seems so mysterious and a little handsome I guess, how would Logan have taken this news about a brother, or did he know already. I hate having all these questions unanswered. I drifted off to sleep without even realizing it.

  I only was asleep about an hour when my phone rang.

  “Hello,” I answered all groggy.

  “Hey girl, what’s shaken?”

  “Hi Sully, sorry I was sleeping,” I said as I started to sit up.

  “So how was the…..well how was it?” Sully asked.

  “It was fine, I didn’t stay long, I just couldn’t take thinking about him anymore. Hey, that guy was there,” I said.

  “What guy?” Sully asked with curiosity.

  “That guy that helped me last night,” I said as I looked around my room and realized that Saska was gone.

  “Really, so what was he doing there? That’s bizarre, I’m not sure how I feel about that,” Sully said.

  “Yeah, it was really weird. What's even more weird is that he says he’s Logan’s brother,” I said, waiting for Sully to freak out.

  Silence.

  “Sully,” I asked. I couldn’t tell if we got disconnected.

  “Yeah I’m here, I’m just tripping out,” Sully said as she took another deep breath.

  I explained to Sully what transpired between Blake and I and the discovery that I made with the picture from my album.

  “Jayden, I don’t know what’s happening, but this is getting really creepy. Do you think your Dad would mind if I stayed the night again. My Aunt’s out of town for a few days and I hate you being…..well I don’t want you to have to be alone right now?” Sully asked.

  “Of course, my Dad never minds when you stay the night. Are you leaving right now, because I had a thought? I want to go up to the attic and look through some more albums that mom has in a trunk, so just come up to the attic when you get here,” I said as I started to think about my mom again.

  I hated going up to the attic, it always made my arm hair stand on end. I always felt like I had a spider or two in my hair when I left. I would do a wind mill on my way down making sure nothing was sticking to me. Our attic door was down the hall next to my parent’s room. My mom kept the attic locked when I was a kid, I hope the key is still on the ledge of the door frame.

  The key was still there, awesome.

  Before I opened the door I saw something out of the corner of my eye and I screamed.

  It was just Saska coming up the stairs.

  “You scared me….so where have you been?” I asked him as he trotted up to me and rubbed his body on my legs.

  “You sure are a lover aren’t you?” I said to him as I brushed his hair.

  “So, are you going to accompany me to the attic, are you brave enough, because I might not be,” I joked.

  I unlocked the door and Saska pushed by the door before I even had it open.

  “Ok, well I guess old attics don’t scare you. At least one of us is brave," I frowned.

  My mother was one of the most organized people I have ever met, sometimes I wonder if she was a little obsessive sometimes.

&nb
sp; My mom never allowed me up in the attic unless I was with her, and I hadn’t been in the attic since she died. When I got to the top of the stairs I found a light switch on the side wall.

  It was just how I remembered it, so many odd things up here. I wonder why my mom would keep all this stuff. On the right side of the attic was an old antique metal bed frame, some old pictures and many boxes. Somewhere in those boxes are all my baby clothes. When I would come up here with her, she would go through that box to show me how little I once was. She was always sentimental with all the things in this attic. I wish that I could sit with her now and go through all this stuff so that I knew what it meant to her.

  Saska had already scouted the attic out and was back at my side, it was as if I had a trained guard dog.

  I found the wooden chest that I was looking for with a just a few moves of some old quilts, and lots of dust and cobwebs, that were stacked on top. I loved this wooden chest; the smell reminded me of Christmas, an old and piney, maybe a little musty too. It had carvings on the sides and top. I wasn’t sure what the carvings were but they reminded me of old Celtic drawings.

  The chest was locked, hum this might be challenging.

  “Jayden, are you up here,” Sully called from the bottom of the stairs.

  “Yeah I’m in the back on the right,” I yelled.

  “So, what are we doing up here, it’s a little dirty and smelly up here.” Sully grabbed at her own arms like she had a chill.

  “I want to look in this chest, it was always my mom's most treasured item and I was never allowed to see what was in it. But it’s locked,” I said as I sat on my knees in front of the chest.

  “Locked, nothings locked. I have to go out to the truck, I’ll be right back,” Sully said as she ran down the stairs.

  Sully returned with a black leather case.

  “What’s that?” I asked.

  “This is my nifty friend, but don’t ever tell anyone that I have this, I could get in real trouble,” Sully said as she unzipped it. She pulled out long silver and black thing looking tools.

  “I have a way to into your chest, move over,” Sully said as she pulled out a few long pieces of thin metal.

  “Are those lock picks?” I asked.

  “Yes they are. I dated a guy in New York that taught me locksmithing and this was one of my birthday presents. It’s come in handy a few times.” Sully smiled.

  “Sully!” I exclaimed. “You haven’t done anything illegal have you?” I said as I shook my head.

  “No, it’s just helped me out in a jam,” she said.

  Within a few minutes, she had that trunk lock popped opened.

  “So, your dad’s not going to come up here and bust us is he?” Sully asked moved over so I could sit in front of the trunk.

  “No, I think he’s out in the garage working on his project,” I said.

  “Is he working on that 68 camero super sport?” Sully asked with a gleam in her eye.

  “Yeah I think that’s the car, how did know what kind of car it was?” I asked.

  “I love old cars, hello……look at my truck,” she said as she sighed.

  I opened the trunk slow. I could feel Sully's eagerness to see inside. I felt almost guilty going through it, but since my mom wasn’t around anymore you would think that this was now mine, plus with her cryptic message in her letter I’m hoping that we might find something in here to help us.

  The first thing on top was my mom's wedding dress. It was a simple white silk gown with sheer sleeves. I loved this dress, I wouldn’t mind wearing this to my wedding, if that day ever happens. I might want to add a few things to the dress, simple is great, but I like a little splash.

  I set that aside and starting sorting through the items in the chest.

  Sully had found an old album.

  “Hey, let’s look through this first, this looks really ancient,” she said as she sat next to me.

  “So who are these people, this pictures look really old,” she said as she opened to the first page.

  “I think those are my great grandparents, but I’m not sure, like I said, my mom didn’t allow me to go through this stuff with her,” I said as I stared at the pictures, black and white photos were always so interesting, like all the life was sucked right off the page. The people posing for the pictures looked like their lives were so boring, and grim. No smiles, you couldn't get a read on anyone in old photo's.

  “You never talk about your grandparents, are they still alive?” She asked.

  I shrugged, “I really don’t know if they are still alive, my mom never talked about them, and over the years I’ve asked Dad about them and he told me that his mom and dad died before I was born and he doesn’t know anything about Mom’s parents. Dad said that she wouldn’t talk about them, and he never bothered her about it, he figured if she wanted to talk about them she would.

  “Jayden, this younger girl is a knockout, I wonder who she is?” Sully said as she pointed to a picture of a young girl in a beautiful gown. The picture was taken in a formal living room, but the picture didn’t look that old, even though it was in black and white.

  “I don’t believe it!” I said as my mouth dropped open.

  “What is it” Sully asked.

  “Look behind the girl above the fireplace, look at the girl in the painting. Do you see it?” I asked.

  “See what, I see a painting of a girl, what am I looking for?” Sully asked.

  “Look at the necklace; it’s the same one that you gave me,” I said to Jayden as I reached up and grabbed the pendant in my hand and rubbed it.

  “Jayden…that’s the same necklace. Do you know what this means?” Sully said as she sat back on her knees.

  “That means that this necklace has been in my family for many years and that your family and my family knew each other,” I said as I just stared at the picture.

  “Jayden, look the girl in the picture not the painting, she's wearing the ring your mom gave you.” Sully pointed to the ring. It was hard to see the ring but it did look just like it.

  “We need to find some answers to our questions, but I don’t know where to start,” I said as I closed the album.

  “Jayden are you up here?” My dad hollered.

  “Yeah Dad, Sully and I are both up here.” I called back.

  “Sully, let’s not saying anything to Dad about the necklace and ring, my Mom seemed concerned for him.”

  Saska made a quick bark.

  “Oh yeah and Saska too,” I said as I smiled and reached for his face.

  “Sorry Saska” I said.

  Dad came up in the attic. He didn’t like to be up here anymore than I did. Too many memories.

  “So what are you ladies up to?” Dad asked.

  “Well I thought I would go through Mom’s old chest and see if I could find anything interesting,” I said as I lifted the album up.

  “I haven’t seen this stuff for a long time, your mother showed me some of those photos a long time ago, but she was pretty closed mouthed about her family. I don’t think she got along well with her parents.” Dad said as she started to look around the attic.

  “Dad….can you tell me anything about Mom’s parents, I think I would like to find them if they are still alive,” I asked with hesitation.

  “I don’t know much, your mother’s maiden name is McCormick. I think her moms name is Catherine, and I’m not sure about her Dad. You might keep looking in that trunk to see if you find something. Not to change the subject on you, but I have a surprise for you, will you come downstairs when you're done,” he said as he started to leave.

  “Sure Dad” I said as I looked at Sully.

  “Sully let’s keep looking maybe there is other things in here that might help us,” I said.

  We dug around in the trunk and found a few letters with no return addresses.

  They were never opened.

  I opened one hoping to find some information.

  “Sully, I think the
se are letters from my grandmother to my Mom. I don’t want to get into reading them right now; I still want to go to Logan’s house to see Grace,” I said as I took the letters and the Album.

  “Hey, it looks like there’s a journal here too,” Sully said as she opened it.

  “This looks like it’s in another language, does this look familiar to you?” Sully asked me.

  “No, it looks foreign that’s for sure, let’s take that too,” I said.

  We took the items and put them in my room.

  “Well let’s go see what Dad has for me, it must be my birthday present. We hadn’t had a chance to celebrate but it was understandable. My Dad loves to go all out and embarrass me as much as he can," I said as I stood up.

  When we got downstairs dad was waiting for us in the living room.

  “Ok Dad, so what’s the surprise?” I asked as I sat down on the sofa.

  Dad reached into his pocket and pulled out some keys, and tossed that at me.

  “What’s this?” I asked as I held up the keys that were on a key chain.

  “Oh my God!” Sully jumped up and had this look of shock on her face.

  I gave Sully a funny look.

  “Well that’s your graduation and birthday present.” Dad said as he sat down across from me in the chair.

  “Keys are my present… that’s good dad” I said laughing.

  “Real funny Jayden, those keys go to your ride in the garage,” he said as he smiled from ear to ear.

  “You’re giving me your 68 Camero. Dad….but you love that car. I thought you were fixing that up for yourself,” I said with aw.

  “I wanted to make something for you, and I put a lot of work into that car with my own hands. I bought it from a junk yard, but it’s all restored now with a new paint job. I thought you would really enjoy it,” he finished with a huge smile on his face.

  “I don’t know what to say, this is so cool, thanks Dad,” I sat there starring at the keys, knowing that he had worked on this car for years and he was giving it to me. I felt tears well up in my eyes and I had to swallow the lump in my throat.

  “Are we just going to sit here all night talking about how cool the car is, or do we get the honor of seeing the beauty itself?” Sully said with such enthusiasm that I out right laughed.

  “Sure, I’ll take you out there, that way I can show you all the stuff.” Dad said.

  Dad was so excited, it was like it was Christmas, which was one of his favorite holidays, he loved to do things for me, it made him happy.

  When we made it out the garage, I really got a chance to see the beauty that he had put into it. The paint was a shiny black with two red racing stripes that ran from top of the hood to the trunk. All the shiny chrome looked freshly polished. Up until now I had needed a car. Logan and Sully drove me places, plus I had my bicycle to get around town with.

  “Jayden I am so jealous, this is so rockin,” Sully said as she stroked the car.

  “Sully, you have enough money in your trust fund to buy yourself one fully loaded,” I said as I gave her an evil eye.

  “Yeah, but what’s the fun in that, taking one that was junked and restoring it, is like the ultimate challenge. Most people don’t finish in their life time. Mr. St.Claire, you must have worked for fuckin' ever on this shit,” Sully exclaimed.

  My mouth dropped open and I stared at Sully and then swung my gaze to my Dad, waiting for him to reprimand her for her language, that never came. I decided maybe that moment deserved the f word.

  “Dad, this is so, oh I can’t wait to show Logan. He’s going to want to drive it first.” I said as I went over and hugged him. As I walked up to him, I realized what I had said and my enthusiasm for the car depleted.

  My Dad kept talking like I hadn’t mentioned Logan.

  “I know that you love to walk everywhere and you only drive my car when you have to, but you need your own transportation especially since you're going to college in Seattle, I want you to be able to come home whenever you want and not have to worry about the buses.”

  “Dad, I need to talk to you about that,” I said as I thought about what I was going to say. I hadn’t thought about college since the morning of Logan’s death.

  “Jayden……now I don’t know what you are going to say, but you need to go to college, if there’s one thing that was really important to your mother and I, it was education. I know I taught you that money isn't everything and it's not, but I want you to learn everything you can, and experience new things. Please don’t tell me you’re not going,” he said as he pulled me away from him to look in my eyes.

  I didn't know what to say. So much as happened since I got my acceptance letter. I had things I had to work out before I could devote my time and energy into my education.

  “I am going, but I wanted to ask you if you’d be ok with me taking this year off, or at the very least the first quarter. I honestly haven’t thought about school since Logan died and I really don’t think it would be a very good idea if I went right now. I wouldn’t be able to concentrate the way that I should. I need to mourn the loss of my friend and be able to go to school ready to focus. Please think about it, I will honor whatever you decide, but I would really like this year off. I promise that I will go, I want to go, but not right now,” I said as I held my Dad’s hand.

  “You know, when your mother died, I took a year off from teaching. Her death about killed me, so I understand what you are saying. You have to give me your word that you will go next year! I’ll call the University tomorrow and let them know that I need a refund for this year, but you have to reapply for next year. OK.” Dad said as he placed his hands on my shoulders. Having my Mom’s trust fund transfer to me helped with things like paying an entire years tuition up front.

  “Yes, I will reapply and go next year. Thank you Dad, you have no idea how much pressure that takes off my shoulders,” I said as I looked at Sully and winked at her.

  “By the way, Sam called while you girls were in the attic, are you going to see her today?” Dad asked.

  “Yes, we will go right now, thanks Dad. Oh yeah, Sully wants to stay tonight is that alright?” I asked knowing that Dad never had a problem with Sully staying.

  “Yes, of course it is. Sully you can stay anytime you want, your practically family,” Dad told her with a smile.

  “Thanks Mr. St.Claire,” Sully said.

  “Ok girls, will you be home for dinner? I want thinking about making Taco’s.” Dad said.

  “Do you honestly think I can turn down your tacos Dad, you’re the best taco maker ever,” I stated.

  Dad walked back into the house and left Sully and I alone with the car. I opened the driver’s door and pulled the seat back so Saska could jump in the back.

  “Go on, Saska, get in the back,” I commanded.

  He just sat there. I let go of the seat, and he jumped in the front seat.

  “Hey Saska, now don’t push your luck with me, I don’t really care for furry creatures, but I like you, but….you can’t have the front seat that’s for humans, at least creatures with less fur,” Sully said as she opened the passenger door.

  Saska growled at her.

  I laughed. “Well it looks like you two are going to have to share the front seat. I’m not getting involved in your domestic problems,” I said as I sat down.

  This car was so clean. The interior was black with red accessories. The seats are black leather with red stripes like on the outside. I love the gear shifter, it has an eight ball.

  “Your dad did a great job Jayden, I can’t wait to take it out.” Sully said as she rubbed the dash board.

  “Hey I need to change my clothes, let’s go back in the house and then well go to Sam’s,” I said as I got out of the driver’s seat.