by Madison Diaz
Her forest-green eyes lock with mine, and I force myself to smile. Hers falters a smidge before she looks away, sitting in her old spot by my side, snuggling up to me without words. My palm smoothes across her face as I cup her cheek. She looks up at me with those sparkling eyes, and I lay a gentle kiss on her forehead as she tucks her head away again, wrapping her arms tighter around me.
"Okay, planning, planning, planning," Carrie barks, plopping down on the ottoman. She has a notebook in hand as she twirls her pencil with the other. "We leave next Friday morning. Early. We gotta hit Houston, then Beaumont. We'll cross over into Louisiana for the night."
Michael groans. "That's a lot of gigs in one day, Carrie."
She waves her hand dismissively. "They're all like thirty-minute spots. We'll be in Louisiana by midnight." Her eyes narrow at him. "Gotta learn how to hang, bud."
He shakes his head as his arms cross over his chest. "That's too much set up for the three of us."
"Four," she corrects with a raised eyebrow.
He blinks at her, gesturing to me as he says, "Nick can't do shit."
"That's why Leah's coming," she explains.
A silence falls over the room as I glance down at the beautiful girl in my arms, who smiles. Shit. I guess she’s coming then.
Carrie continues, "She can help set up and breakdown. She's not gonna be as tired as us after each show, so it'll be useful to have her around."
"Oh, no," Michael starts up again as Sean growls in his direction, ready to defend Carrie like he always does. Michael chooses to ignore the warning. "She's tiny and won't be able to lift shit. I'm not sharing tips with road help that won't really help."
Before I can respond in Leah’s honor, Carrie is already biting back. "Good thing you're not in charge of that, Mikey. Leah comes. She does work. She gets paid. She needs it as much as we need her, so zip it."
He does zip it as he huffs before turning his attention to my keyboard. He starts playing instead of continuing to participate in our conversation. We talk over him, discussing the rest of the trip and what each day entails. Leah would grip me every time she got excited. I'd look down at her, and she'd have a dopey smile on her face, like earlier never even happened. I want to keep her smiling and keep whoever is scaring her far away forever.
The five of us are exhausted by the time Carrie finally calls meeting adjourned. Leah’s asleep, perched underneath my arm. I don’t know exactly what happened, but I do know she probably had a very long and emotional day. I’m glad I can give her a safe place to rest. Glad she chose me over anyone else.
"She's really pretty, Nick," Carrie whispers to me as the other two members of our band had already walked out the door. She touches my forearm, looking serious as she tells me, "Be careful with her. She has issues, and I don’t want to see you in another Katie situation."
My eyebrows draw together in offense as I scoff, shaking my head. "You don't know Leah. She’s not like Katie at all."
My sister sighs, rolling her eyes. "Whatever, bro. I'm just trying to look out for you. I know Leah isn't Katie, but I don't want to see you get attached for the wrong reasons. Again."
"There’s no point in comparing them. I haven't thought about Katie a single time since I've been with Leah. Not once."
She rolls her eyes again. "Right. Whatever. See you tomorrow then. Have fun." She playfully punches my shoulder too hard before leaving my apartment.
I look down at Leah's sleeping face and try to find the resemblance between her and Katie. There isn’t much besides that they were both blondes. Katie had blue eyes, not green, and she always kept her hair short. Her hair wasn't platinum-blonde either, more of a yellowy type. Leah has these beautiful freckles all along her cheeks that Katie didn't.
They’re nothing alike. Maybe both have emotional baggage, but everyone has baggage. We all have a past we don’t want people to know. We all have demons and skeletons. I’m sure Leah will let me in when she’s ready.
Leah stirs, her eyes blinking open, a sweet smile spreading across her face when she realizes where she is. "Time for bed, sleepy head," I tell her, brushing some of her hair behind her ear.
She yawns as she nods. “Time for bed.” She helps me from the couch this time, so I can lean on her as we go to the bedroom. We fall in the bed with a thud, and she undresses, borrowing a shirt from me. I catch her sneak a whiff before climbing back into bed.
We cuddle together, and I kiss her forehead. She feels so safe in my arms. She kisses my neck, playfully biting, and I let her. I don’t push anything more, and she doesn’t go much further than that before we’re sleeping again.
✵ ✵ ✵
The shower is running when my eyes open the next morning. Leah's spot of the bed is empty. Her humming filters through the closed bathroom door, and the sound warms my heart. A beautiful woman I have the biggest crush on is ten feet away from me, naked, and humming. She has a beautiful voice too. I know for a fact now that she was the one singing as I dreamed at the hospital. I'd recognize that harmonization anywhere.
Instead of continuing to lay here, waiting for her to come back, I shuffle out of bed and into the kitchen to make her breakfast.
What does she like? Is she an eggs and toast type of person? Does she like pancakes? Chocolate chip pancakes?
Is she one of those weird girls who eats fruit for breakfast? Does she usually eat cereal or grab a granola bar? She seems similar to that type of girl, the one who wakes up early to get some cardio in with a smoothie. I laugh at myself for conjuring the silly image. She probably doesn’t do things like that at all.
I open the fridge and check what options I have. Eggs. Bacon. Milk. Bread. Sandwiches? Breakfast sandwiches? She'll like that, right?
I take out the needed ingredients, assuming she'll be grateful for anything in her current state. I don’t think she had anything to eat for dinner last night, so who knows when her last meal was.
And don't get me wrong, I’m happy she wants to stay with me, but I still have to remember the way this relationship is going at the moment isn’t stable or good for her. Relationships that start off dependent on one another aren’t meant to last.
During our tour I won’t pressure her to stay with me. She needs the money. We need the extra hands. Even if our relationship doesn’t work out, I'd never want her to feel alone. She’s obviously going through something, and she needs all the support she can get.
Should I make that clear to her? I wonder before shaking my head. No. I don’t want her to think I’m rejecting her or anything. She's vulnerable right now. She's putting herself out there to go on the road with us after knowing me for only…three weeks? Shit. Our relationship defies logic but looking into her eyes and feeling her lips against mine is just too right to ignore.
My bedroom door opens, and a fresh-looking Leah stands in the doorway. Her hair is down and still wet but combed. She seems to have borrowed another one of my white t-shirts and put back on the jean shorts she wore the night before. She grins as she stalks across the room then into my arms for one hell of a good morning kiss. My hands find their way to her ass cheeks for a hard squeeze, and she giggles against my lips.
She asks what I’m making, and I tell her. She grins this cheesy-ass grin before covering my mouth with hers again. "What are your plans today?" I ask as her hands roam up and down my torso.
She shrugs. "Work. Gotta get my last paycheck, then I'm done."
I blink. "Done?"
With a nod, she sighs. "Yeah. It's too risky to keep working there right now."
I know it’s futile, but I ask anyway. "Who are you running from?"
She shakes her head, then backs away. At the mention of anything related to her past she still shrinks. She still doesn’t trust me, and I don’t want to push. I don’t want to lose her.
"Hey," I call to her. She catches my eyes again. Brushing a strand of hair behind her ear, I force myself to smile. "Don't feel pressured to do anything with me. Really. Tell me when you're read
y." She blinks a few times before nodding with a small smile. "Hungry?"
"Starving."
"Then have a seat, because I make the best breakfast sandwiches in the world."
Her eyebrow quirks as she sits in one of my stools. "The world, huh?"
"You bet,” I say with a wink.
She laughs. "Yeah, alright, MasterChef."
Chapter Ten
Leah
Nick doesn’t want me going anywhere alone right now. Maybe that should freak me out, but it doesn’t. He said I was free to do as I wished, but he'd worry about me, and I can’t help but appreciate the fact that he’s worried about me. Last night I flipped out, and it honestly isn’t safe for me to be wandering around the city alone. Ethan could be anywhere, and I can’t risk him finding me and dragging me back to his man cave like he's done many times before.
So today I have an escort. Sean, Nicks best friend since high school, is off work for the day, and he volunteered to take me wherever I need to go. Nick must have noticed the panic in my eyes at the idea of being alone with a man I don’t know, but he promised Sean was a good guy. "He's quiet, but one of the nicest people you'll ever meet in your life. You'll be in good hands."
I believe him, and I’m growing to trust him more each day.
Sean really was quiet at first. He didn't say hello, he just shrugged. He didn't make small talk in the car, just turned the music up and tapped his fingers against the steering wheel. It didn’t take long before I couldn’t stand it anymore.
“So, you’re from Killeen too?” I ask, breaking the silence.
“Yep,” is his response. Not very friendly.
“How long have you been in a band with Nick?”
He glances out the window before redirecting his attention to the road. He doesn’t like me. I can feel it. “Since we were in high school. It’s always been our thing.”
I nod, rubbing my sweaty palms against my jeans as we pull into the hotel parking lot. “That’s nice. I’m excited to see you guys perform together.”
He pulls up to the entrance and puts the car in park, not saying anything else about it as he gives me a once over. “I’ll be waiting right here for you.”
Pleasant.
I grab my tote bag and crawl out of the car, nodding to him before closing my door and going into the hotel.
Sarah's eyes widen as I walk through the front door. She rushes around the counter then flies into my arms like we hug every day or something. "Oh, my god. I was so worried when you didn't come in at nine like we'd promised."
I pat her back before we pull apart. "I didn’t mean to worry you. I was all right. Nick wanted me to have an escort for today." Her head tilts in concern. I roll my eyes, lowering my voice so no one else in the lobby can hear. "I had a major freak-out last night. I seriously thought Ethan was breaking in. Nick said whatever I'm running from is dangerous, and he'd worry all day if I went off by myself, so his best friend's in his car waiting."
Her eyebrow quirks. "You can trust this dude?"
I shrug. "Nick trusts him. I trust him."
She blinks then smiles. "So, his name's Nick, huh?"
I smile too. "Yeah, his name is Nick. I’m sure I’ve said it before.” I playfully roll my eyes. “No more fear of jinxing, Sarah. I know it’s too early to tell, but I think he loves me too. I think he'll take care of me."
She nods but doesn’t smile, her face growing serious. "Be careful, okay? Don't go depending on him too much. You've depended on Ethan your whole life, and I don't want you switching him out for someone else."
Her words sink in for a moment. Is that what I’m doing? Replacing one caregiver with another? "Okay. I'll be careful. It's temporary until I'm back on my feet."
Her fingers grip my arms as she nods. "Good. That's what I like to hear. A little bit of fun's okay." She pulls away again then jerks her head in the direction of the back office, so I follow behind her.
Twenty minutes later, I’m off the schedule for good with my last check in my hands. Sarah walks me out to the car and meets Sean. She gives him a death glare then leans in his open window. “Look, fucker. My friend here has been through a lot. If anything happens to her once she leaves this lot, remember I know your face and I’ll be able to pick you out of a line-up no problem.”
Sean’s eyes widen as he stares at her for a moment, then throws his head back as he cracks up laughing, shaking his head and assuring her, “She’s in good hands, I promise. My buddy is crazy about her, and he’ll make sure nothing bad touches her.”
“That buddy of yours a good guy?” she asks him seriously, sizing him up some more.
He nods. “I swear. He’s the greatest guy I know.” He stretched his hand out to her. She stares at it like she’s never seen a hand before, then takes the offering. They shake on it and she turns to me, giving me a thumbs up with a wink before going back inside the hotel.
I get in the passenger side of the car and blow out a breath. Sean looks over at me and smiles for the first time today. “You got a good friend.”
The corner of my mouth lifts. “Yeah, I got at least one.”
His eyes search mine as he says, “You got more than you think.” He turns away as I don’t say anything in return and puts the car in drive and takes off.
We run my errands—open a new bank account, get me my own prepaid phone line. He buys me lunch and asks me more questions.
“Look, I’m sorry I was cold to your earlier. I just worry about Nick. His heart’s a little too big for his own good.” He takes a bite of his food as I nod in agreement. Nick really is too sweet for his own good. “Nobody knows anything about you, and it’s concerning...considering Nick’s need to be a hero. I mean, what’s up with the running and the bruises? What happened last night?”
I stare at him for a beat, trying to figure out what to say. I don’t want to tell him. I don’t want to tell anyone. But for some reason I know I can trust Sean. It isn’t that I don’t trust Nick, but I’m afraid of what he would think of me. I try answering vaguely. "Old boyfriend."
His eyebrow goes up. "Did he hit you?"
I shake my head, avoiding his eyes as I mumble, "Not last night."
His eyebrows draw together as he shakes his head. "But he has?”
Reluctantly, I nod.
Sean hisses, putting his sandwich back on his plate as if he’s lost his appetite. “Shit. How long were you with this guy?"
I shrug. "A long time. Since high school. It’s really not a big deal."
Sean stares at me for a moment. It’s like he’s seeing me with new eyes, and they’re filled with pity. The exact way I don’t wouldn’t want Nick to look at me. "Did he hit you the whole way through?"
My head shakes, not wanting to talk about Ethan anymore. All it does is remind me of how weak I am. "No. Not until I was living with him."
He sighs as he leans back in his chair, scrubbing his face with his hand. "I'm sorry."
I shrug. It isn’t his fault I fell under Ethan’s spell. It isn’t his fault I stayed for way too long, only waking up and realizing how awful he was the night I met Nick, the night I realized he’s capable of hurting more than just me. "Don't tell anyone, please?"
His brow furrows again. "I can’t just keep something like this from Nick. He’s my best friend."
My head shakes frantically, my voice full of fear. "No. I'll tell him myself when I'm ready."
He stares at me for a long moment, weighing his options before he relents, sighing as he shakes his head. "Alright. It’s your business. Just know he'd accept whatever baggage you have, okay? Nick's a good guy. He wouldn't walk away over bullshit."
The corners of my lips turn up at that. Only Nick could have such loyal friends. Sean may believe that, but I know I’m not worth it, especially if Nick does find out. I hope we’ll be done and I’ll be long gone before then. "Got it… Thanks, Sean."
He nods then goes back to his silent act, but it’s a lot less awkward after that.
✵ ✵ ✵
Carrie can talk. A lot. It makes sense, she'd lived with Sean. She can drone on and on while he'll sit there, listening intently. There’s something about the way she speaks her mind that makes her both fun and terrifying to be around.
Nick went to work a few hours ago. Since his leg is broken, he knew he would be stuck at the to-go station. He said he'd make fewer tips, but he'd have to take what he could get. Guilt crept over me in that moment, but I didn’t confess. Instead, I wanted to clean his whole apartment for him, but Carrie had different plans. She showed up, unannounced, and dragged me from Nick's apartment to hers, just a few floors down.
The excitement gave me goosebumps, considering I'd never had a girls' night before.
She had bought a twelve-pack of Lone Star and put a pizza in the oven for us. We hovered around her laptop as she showed off pictures of different girls she dated in the past, and they were as pretty as her. Her bragging was endearing, in a way. I liked how real she was. She was very close to becoming the second female friend I'd ever had. Sarah being the first, of course.
With Ethan I wasn't allowed to have friends. Seemed like he'd be understanding if it were just other women, but nope. Every female out there to him was a 'slut' or a 'bad influence.' He didn't wanna have to worry about me 'sucking dick all over town' with them. He could stick his greedy cock into any woman who crossed his path, but I couldn't go out for drinks with friends.
"You okay? You look mad," Carrie points out as we sit on the floor in her bedroom, watching some old eighties movie on her TV. We have plates in hand with half-eaten pizza slices and open beers between us. "Are you not having fun?"
I shake my head. "I'm having fun. Just distracted." I force a smile. "Thanks for inviting me over. I've never had a girls' night before."
She blinks, pulling her pizza away from her face as her mouth falls open. "What? Never?"
I nod. "Nope. Never."