by Madison Diaz
Her eyebrows pinch together. "Were you like a slut in high school or something?"
That makes me snort. "No. I didn't go to high school."
"What? You're a dropout?"
"Basically."
Her eyes widen. "Whoa. I didn't think you were such a rebel." She laughs. "No offense, but I figured you were gonna be all privileged and princessy. Nick's got a soft spot for cute girls who treat him like shit."
My head jerks back in surprise. "I would never do that. Nick's amazing, and probably the nicest person I've ever met."
She laughs again, embarrassing me. "He's not that great. His shit still stinks." She finally pauses the movie and puts her plate down on the ground. Her expression is serious as she turns to look at me. "Can you be honest with me about something?”
Already knowing what this is going to be about, I slowly nod my head.
“What happened to you?"
I shrug because shrugging is much easier than talking about it. I’d rather pretend most of the events in my life never happened. She keeps staring at me until I finally admit, "It's complicated."
She nods, rubbing her lips together as she studies me. "I'll tell you a secret if you tell me one." I stare at her for a few moments before finally nodding. "No one knows this, especially not my brother, so don't ever tell him or we won't be friends anymore, got it?" I nod again. "Sean and I have threesomes with the girls I bring home…sometimes."
My eyes bug out of my head. That confession entirely came from left field. "Wait, what?"
She nods, grinning at me like she can’t wait to brag some more. "Yep."
"I thought you only liked girls?"
Her eyes roll as she shifts her weight to lean back against the edge of her bed. "I prefer girls, but I'm bisexual. Sean's also really hot. You've seen him."
I think about it for a second. I guess he’s hot in a mysterious, quiet guy type of way. He’s tall enough with a cute smile and gentle eyes.
“How did it start? Aren’t you two best friends or something?” I ask
She shrugs. "One night he came home from work and I wanted him to catch me in the act, you know? I was going down on this hot girl I'd seen him checking out at one of our shows.
"At first, I was just being competitive, you know? Like 'ha-ha, you can't even get the girl's number, but I got her legs spread for me on the couch,’ but then when he opened the door and saw us and…I don't know. Something inside me switched.
“The way he looked at me, then his eyes moved to meet hers… It was exciting and dirty and wrong and right all at the same time. I mean, I’ve known Sean almost my whole life. If Nick knew his best friend was hooking up with his little sister, he'd freak."
My eyebrow quirks. “Why?”
She shrugs, avoiding my eyes as she picks at her carpet. “Because hooking up is risky. What happens when we stop? It could all blow up in our faces. The band. Our friendship. Their friendship. It’s all at risk.”
I keep blinking, unsure of what to say next. "Wow. That's kind of intense."
She laughs, but it sounds forced. "Dude, I know." She bites her lip, finally glancing back up to me. "Okay, that's my biggest, darkest secret that can never leave this room. Now your turn. Tell me something, so I'm not out on a limb here by myself."
I know exactly what I want to share. Something I thought I’d have to keep to myself and Sarah for the rest of my life. "Does it have to be sexual?"
Her head shakes. "No. It can be anything. I'm just a sexual deviant." She winks.
I swallow the lump in my throat and lick my lips as my heart starts racing. "I’ve never told anyone this,” I confess. Besides Sarah literally being there to witness it.
She nods, pulling her legs into her chest and wrapping her arms around them, giving me her full attention.
My eyes close as I let out a sigh. “I had an abortion." Her eyes turn into softballs. "I didn't tell the dad. I just did it."
"Oh, my god, Leah. You’ve been surprising me at every turn.” She shakes her head as she continues to process my confession. “Why? You don't want a baby?"
I shake my head. "No way. My life has always been too fucked up for a baby, especially when I was with my ex. I worried what he would do if he found out. He was—" I choke up, thinking back to the moment I found out. I’d taken a test at work, then cried my eyes out. Sarah caught me and forced me to tell her what was wrong. We'd never really talked before, she was just my boss back then.
"Okay, okay, stop," Carrie orders, placing her hand on my forearm. "This game was supposed to be fun to loosen you up, but it's taken a very dark turn."
"I'm sorry."
She shakes her head, staring right into my eyes. They share the same intensity as Nick's. She looks at me like someone who cares. "Don't be. Now I know something about you. I understand the sadness in your eyes a little better." She holds my hand. "Your ex was a real piece of shit, right? Is that who you're running from? Was he abusive?"
I shrug, trying not to reveal too much. "Not all the time."
"But enough?" I nod. She squeezes my hand. "Don’t worry about him for another minute. We're your friends now, and I'd never let that sad sack of shit near you again. Even if you and Nick didn't work out, okay?"
"Okay," I squeak. We sit in silence for a moment. "What was your family like? You and Nick."
Her lips curve into a small smile as she pulls back, leaning against the bed again. "We were military brats. We grew up on a base in Korea and messed around a lot like the little shits we were. We had to move to the States when our dad died while we were in high school. Mom moved us to Killeen, Texas with my aunt. A few years later, Nick moved to Austin for UT, and then I followed him a year later but went to ACC." She snorts. "I'm the fuck-up of the family, but it's whatever. He's talented enough for both of us."
I nod at that, realizing Nick is amazing to other people too. "So, your mom lives in Killeen?"
She shakes her head then shrugs. "Well, kinda. She has a room at my aunt's place, but she's always in Korea. She has a friend there she stays with. She lives off a pension from my dad and stuff. Visits sometimes." Her phone chimes. She looks down with a smile then bites her lip, ignoring me as she starts texting away.
I take that moment to check my phone, realizing I have a message from Nick.
Nick: Having fun? Let me know if my sister's too much. She's kinda a pain.
Me: She's cool. Wish I was with you, though.
Nick: One more hour :)
Me: Can't wait :)
"That Nick?"
"Yeah."
"Wow." I look up and catch her smiling. "He's got you that hooked, huh?”
I shrug, trying not to smile. "Maybe."
She blinks a few times, squaring me up. “Honestly, I didn’t know what to think of you at first, but I’m glad you like my brother so much. He deserves a good girl.”
She doesn’t give me a chance to answer as her phone rings and she instantly answers it, giggling at something the person on the other end said on the other line.
Nick really does deserve a good girl. Too bad I’m not a good girl at all.
Chapter Eleven
Leah
A week spent living with Nick has been a blessing. Each day with him has been better than my best days with Ethan. All smiles and laughing. Also, lots and lots of fooling around, even though Nick’s made it clear he’s not looking for just one thing.
“I want the whole package, Leah. All of you,” he’d whispered to me in the middle of the night two days ago, filling my tummy with butterflies and my heart with hope.
“I want all of you too,” I’d admitted to him in the dark.
His response? “You already have me.”
Now I’m staring at him while he gets ready for bed. I’m standing in the doorway while he brushes and flosses his teeth. He gives me a look as he asks, “What are you staring at?”
I can’t stop my smile as I say, “You.”
His movements stop as he blushes. He smiles
at me through the mirror then goes back to his regular routine, a small smile playing on those delicious lips of his.
He’s mesmerizing. So handsome and sure of himself. Every movement he makes is confident. He stands up straight, even with a broken leg, like he's never felt worthless in his entire life.
My shoulders are often hunched after years and years of wishing I could disappear. Has Nick ever wished he could disappear?
Has he ever even seen abuse? Were his parents kind to him his whole life? Carrie said they were "military brats" with parents who were supportive and always there. I know his mom is sweet to him because I'd heard him talk to her on the phone a couple of times. He'd smile and laugh while he filled her in on his life. She even knew about me—I heard her ask, “How's Leah?” and he grinned, looking away from me as he answered, “Great.”
Nick finally finishes with the sink. He runs his thumb and forefinger against his freshly shaven chin, wiggling his eyebrows at me. "How do I look? Fifteen years younger?"
I shake my head, grinning like a love-sick idiot. "Not at all. You look sexy." I step forward and cup his cheeks, running my fingers over his smooth skin.
His arms wrap around my back, holding me close. Our lips connect, and I sigh as I melt against him. His skin is smooth on my fingertips, his hands warm at the small of my back. His mouth is minty fresh as his cold tongue sneaks its way between my lips. I suck it greedily, making slurping noises before he laughs and pulls away.
His eyes sparkle as he stares down at me, and I’m feeling it again. Something I’ve never known. He looks at me like I’m the only girl in the world, and I feel like it in his arms. I run my hands down his chest and stomach before dropping to my knees in front of him. He grunts hungrily as he grips the sink with one hand and cups my cheek with the other. My eyes find him again, and his eyebrows are up in surprise.
I bite my lip as I grab the waistband of his sweatpants and underwear, tugging them down and freeing his cock. He’s only half hard as he grips it and strokes in front of my face. The movements hypnotize me, making me ache between my legs. My eyes slowly blink as I move them back to his hooded ones.
Shoving his hand away, I grip him at his base then lick from my thumb all the way up to his slit. He takes in a sharp breath, which makes me smile. My mouth covers the head as I swirl my tongue around, tasting the small amount of precum oozing out the end. His hips jolt forward. "I like that," he whispers down to me. And I like it too.
My touch is as light as ever as I stroke his shaft and suck hard on the head. My eyes connect with his again as he watches me, completely entranced. As I lower my mouth he hisses then closes his eyes, gripping the counter harder. I want him gripping my hair like that. I want him taking control of me and using me. I want to give him everything, the same way he offers me everything.
I want him to lose control.
I take him deeper, then start a rhythm back and forth. I let soft moans escape at the feel of him sliding along my tongue to the back of my throat. The fingers from his free hand finally sift their way into my hair, and I smile around his cock. He fists my hair now, guiding me up and down.
My hand slides from his base and grips his thigh. I blink up at him again, and he watches me this time, biting his lip. "That feels so good, baby," he says down to me, pulling my hair harder, making me moan louder. I take him deeper again, feeling myself gag, encouraging him. Use me. Fuck me.
His hips start moving, and I relax my mouth enough to where he can thrust in and out easier, then he groans, reading my body. Both hands wrap in my hair this time as he pushes slowly in and out of me. Spit drips down my chin, but I don’t care. I moan again, letting him take me.
Nick pulls my hair back, angling me to look at him, and I do. We watch each other as he pumps into my mouth. I push down deeper, so he goes deeper, making me gag again, but I like it. I don’t want him to stop.
He grunts as one hand leaves my hair and grips the sink again. He shifted his legs to steady himself, then actually drives into me. His hips move faster, almost erratic, as he loses control. Yes. He bucks and grunts, breathing my name like it’s a prayer. Like I’m his sexy goddess of pleasure.
"Fuck," he warns, "gonna come. I'm gonna come so fucking hard." I moan again. "I'm gonna come right in your sexy mouth, Leah. You want that?" I nod, hungry for him as I move my head up and down on him again.
He stops thrusting, his body goes rigid. I slide up and down him like crazy, keeping the same pace he had been giving me. His eyes pin shut as he groans then shudders, and I feel it. His hot, salty cum splashes down my throat, and I swallow it. All of it. Then lick him clean while he comes down from the orgasm.
I pull my mouth away then wipe my chin with the back of my hand. He’s quick as he reaches down and pulls me up by my arms. He holds my face in his hands, kissing me roughly, shoving his tongue down my throat like I hadn't swallowed his cum two seconds ago. He moans into my mouth. One hand weaves through my hair, the other holds my back, pushing my body as close to his as possible.
My arms fly around his neck as we make out against the sink. We’re growling and hungry for each other, gripping and pulling. Lost in each other's arms. We wobble together out of the bathroom, and I fall back on the bed.
Nick struggles to lower himself to the floor, gripping the waistband of my pajama shorts. He rips them from my body, exposing me completely to him. He wastes no time kissing and licking my thighs before connecting to my lower lips.
He pins my thighs tightly around his head as he loses it on my pussy. He licks me up and down like he’s a starving man. He closes his lips over my mound, and I groan loudly, bucking against his face. He flattens his tongue against me, flicking my little bud with the tip, then sucking me in over and over and over. He shoves two fingers inside, and I’m right on the edge.
My hands fist the sheets, my legs shaking with my hips eagerly grinding his face. He moans and grunts against me and sticks another finger in, and I whimper, so close to coming for him. This is what I wanted. This is exactly what I wanted. Nick has let me take control before, but now I want him to take it from me, leaving me powerless against him. It doesn’t feel wrong, like with Ethan. It’s right, and safe, and so goddamn sexy.
I open my eyes then glance down at him. His eyes are closed as he concentrates. I watch his mouth clamping over my bud, and I lose it. I come hard all over his lips. He moans and fingers me faster and harder through it all, turning me into a melted mess at his fingertips.
He pulls away then climbs on top of me, not caring at all about his leg. I focus on his leg, making sure he doesn’t struggle too much, but it doesn’t seem to bother him at all. He hooks each arm under my knees then holds them forward, lifting my ass off the mattress. He doesn’t say a word as he sinks right into me, all the way to the hilt.
"Fuck. So deep," is all I manage to moan aloud before he starts pounding into me. He isn’t sweet and slow like he usually is. He’s demanding and powerful, fucking me like he has no other choice. I smile, reaching between us to rub my clit as he bangs me into the mattress.
Nick’s eyes stay on my fingers as he keeps it up. He’s sweaty and wide-eyed as he grunts at the sight, or maybe the feel. I don’t know. I don’t care. "Yes. Fuck me. Fuck me," I chant.
Then it happens. His eyes pin shut again as his mouth parts open, then he shudders even harder than he had in the bathroom. We cry out together. My eyes slam closed as I quiver at the feel of him slowly thrusting in and out. Our breathing slows. He pumps a few more times before stopping inside me.
My eyes slowly open again, and he’s staring right at me. We both smile, then he leans forward and kisses me. We’re sweaty and a giggling mess as he pulls out then rolls onto the bed next to me. I turn over on my stomach, wrapping my arms around him. He continues to catch his breath as I kiss his neck and chest.
"Shit." He sighs. "Now I can't wait for this tour."
I grin, hugging him tighter. "Yeah, me either. We'll have to kick everyone else out of the room a
few times."
He chuckles, wrapping his arm around me and pulling me close. "Whatever you want, baby. Anything. You got me wrapped around your pretty little finger." He laces his fingers with mine as he says it, rubbing his thumb against my skin.
I can’t stop my smile at that, my ear right over his heartbeat. "Good to know." I glance up at him as his arm is rested behind his head. He’s staring up at the ceiling, smiling before he meets my eyes. "I think I love you," I say. My entire body tenses as I realize what I just said without thinking.
His eyes widen as a smile spreads across his lips and he chuckles. My eyebrows draw together as my heart sinks. He’s laughing at me. I’m so embarrassed I could die.
"If it weren't too soon for that,” he says, “I'd say I love you too." He rubs my back, tilting his head and somehow still looking like the sexiest and most adorable creature in the world. "You understand, right? I care about you, and you're special to me, but it's too soon to say 'love.'"
I nod, feeling like a total idiot. "Right. Of course. I shouldn't have said it."
He shakes his head. "Say whatever you feel, Leah." He gives me one of his signature sweet smiles. "I'd be lying if I didn't admit I liked it. I like that word on your lips." He rubs his thumb against my bottom lip. "I also like that look in your eyes. I like what we did. I like you a lot. Probably too much."
My heart flutters. "I like you too. So much more than I've ever liked anyone else before."
He smiles like I’m being cute. "Me too." He pulls his arm away then sits up. "Time for bed, sexy girl. We got a long day tomorrow. Can't have you too exhausted to do your job."
I scoff, pulling myself up the bed and under the covers. "Oh, I'll work circles around you tomorrow."
He turns off the lamp and crawls in beside me. "Wouldn't be that impressed considering I'm maimed at the moment." I giggle at that as he pulls me closer to him and wraps his arms around me. "Goodnight, Leah."
I snuggle against his chest. "Goodnight, Nick."
Chapter Twelve