Hesitant Heart

by Morticia Knight

  “Eventually, I won’t warn you. But until you become accustomed to this, I’ll let you know what I’m doing. Are you frightened of me, little Sam?”

  “No, Sir. Thank you for helping me, Sir.”

  Aaron stroked the fleshy part of his rear with the hand not holding him in place.

  “You’re welcome, sweet Sam. I’m going to give you the first one.”

  The resounding smack shocked him. He yelped then instinctually tried to propel himself away.

  “Stay still. Keep your ass up.”

  Still.

  Another thwack landed on the other cheek and Sam gritted his teeth.

  “Breathe, little Sam.”

  Sam closed his eyes and concentrated on taking air in and out the way he had after he’d fainted at the bathhouse. Two more slaps landed on his cheeks, the sting building. Aaron lightly rubbed Sam’s heated flesh and he sighed at the sensation. The thrum of energy under his skin that he’d experienced the day before, in anticipation of sex, built again.

  There were four more hits to his ass, harder than the ones before, the pain sharpening. He grunted with each strike, but took breaths in between. He remembered what Aaron had said about stopping things, that he could use the word ‘mercy’.

  Aaron paused to caress his rear and it was even more soothing and wonderful than before. As his body had been pushed forward with each hit, his dick had rubbed against Aaron’s leg. The friction, hurt, tingling, and light touching had all combined together to excite him. He was hard. Aaron had told him there would be ten spanks and he’d only had eight. He hoped Aaron didn’t forget the last ones.

  Still Aaron petted his ass in gentle circles. “So very pretty, little Sam. Your skin is beautifully pinked.” Aaron sighed. “Only two more.”

  The final slaps stung hard. Aaron immediately soothed his aching flesh with the soft touch of his fingers. Sam started when Aaron opened his legs and reached around Sam’s middle to grasp his leaking cock.

  “Mmm, just as I’d hoped. Don’t expect this every morning Sam, but you did remarkably well for your first spanking. You can come whenever you’d like.”

  Sam was still splayed face down across Aaron’s lap, completely reliant on Aaron to keep him in place. Aaron’s hand was hot, powerful. It didn’t take much effort for Aaron to cause him to shoot, splashes hitting the floor as he did. He didn’t see why he couldn’t expect it every morning when it was such a fantastic way to start the day.

  Aaron eased him off his lap then stood with him.

  “Let’s clean up in here, then clean ourselves in the shower. Afterwards, I have a cream I can rub on you to help ease the pain.”

  “It’s not bad, Sir. It was the erotic kind.”

  Chuckling, Aaron pulled him in for a hug. “Yes, it was for me too.”

  That confused Sam. “But you didn’t get hit.”

  “Actually, my hand did. But it was spectacular to share the sting, to have that intimate connection with you.”

  Filled with contentment, Sam couldn’t wait to really begin his whole new life with Aaron—with his Sir.

  * * * *

  Aaron gazed down upon the lovely form of his sweet submissive. They’d played for several days—every moment spent together learning one another’s bodies, sharing stories from their lives. Sam’s training had been moving along remarkably well for someone so innocent. Perhaps his father had inadvertently contributed to Sam’s willingness to learn about Aaron’s lifestyle. Since Sam had been kept shielded from so many aspects of life, he had little in the way of comparison.

  Gradually adding new facets to their dynamic each day, Aaron had found Sam to be incredibly responsive. He was so loving, so eager to please. Whenever Aaron gave him even the mildest of praise, Sam would beam up at him. He stood straighter and appeared more self-assured then he had since that last day at the bathhouse. But what Aaron loved most of all was his laughter. Sam loved to laugh.

  Aaron had yet to take Sam’s virginity or even breach him anally. There had been several not very subtle hints from Sam, but Aaron had managed to distract him with oral pleasures or dry rutting. Another act that Sam greatly enjoyed was when Aaron would wrap his fist around both of their erections at once then masturbate them together. It had become a thrill for Sam when Aaron would tell him to wait so that they could both come together. Sometimes Aaron would deliberately hold back to see how long Sam could. Those were the times when Sam didn’t even realize Aaron was training him. It had all seemed like fun to Sam.

  Lately, there had been more bondage. Sam was a pliant instrument in Aaron’s hands and he was humbled by the complete trust Sam offered him. In addition to the spankings, Aaron had focused on Sam’s tender nipples. His young lover reacted beautifully when clothespins were clamped onto his taut buds.

  Sam lay across a bearskin rug on his belly. His face was turned to one side, his arms raised above his head, his wrists held captive by a blue silk scarf. Black silk drapery cord was wound around his ankles, the tasseled ends trailing artfully across the rug. The gentle swell of Sam’s perfect ass was the focal point of the pose. Sam had dozed off more than once as Aaron had painted him, but he’d stayed very still whenever he was awake. Aaron planned to give him a special reward for his stellar behavior.

  “Sir?”

  Aaron glanced down, then back up as he checked for subtle nuances, shading that he could integrate into the almost completed painting.

  “What is it, little Sam?”

  “I’m sorry, but I’m really thirsty.”

  “Being thirsty is nothing to apologize for.”

  “But you’re doing something important right now.”

  “Yes, but so are you.”

  Sam’s brow creased. “I’m not doing anything.”

  “Oh, but that’s where you’re wrong, little Sam. I may be painting, but you’re the one who’s posing. There wouldn’t be a picture without you.”

  He peeked at Sam to check his reaction. Aaron had reached the point where he could read his young lover very well. Sam gave serious consideration to everything Aaron told him. Sometimes the weight of that responsibility terrified Aaron. It would be so easy to take advantage, to damage Sam’s delicate psyche, his gentle soul. Whenever Sam mentioned things about his father in passing, Aaron’s blood boiled. How could anyone ever want to mistreat such a sweet person?

  Aaron was pleased that Sam hadn’t protested that he wasn’t as important or that his time wasn’t as worthwhile as Aaron’s. He’d had to reinforce to Sam on more than one occasion that he was a valuable person all on his own and that Aaron cherished him.

  One evening Sam had become agitated after Aaron had praised him for being smart. Sam’s ass had been more sore than usual from his discipline and Aaron had brought out a cream made from the extract of a plant. Sam had sniffed it and told Aaron that it was Leopard’s Bane, also known as Arnica. Aaron had been impressed and had told him so. Sam had brushed it off, telling Aaron that his father had always told him he was dumb and that he’d accepted it. When Aaron had asked Sam if he was calling Aaron a liar, Sam had cried.

  Aaron had made Sam write a hundred times ‘I’m smart and good’ on some of Aaron’s sketch paper. The crying had transformed into sniffling then as Sam had finished, his typical bright smile. Aaron had taken him to bed and slowly licked and kissed every inch of Sam’s body, bringing him to climax twice before allowing him to sleep. Then he’d awoken him and made him come again.

  Aaron dabbed his flat brush on a spot near Sam’s shoulder in the picture. Satisfied that he had the shadowing correct, he lay it down. He knew he should go through the process of cleaning the brushes with the turpentine, but taking care of Sam’s needs were more important.

  I can buy more damn brushes.

  “Thank you, little Sam. You’ve done a wonderful job. Let’s get you some food and drink.”

  After removing his smock, Aaron was once again nude. He would have to wash up before they prepared their meal—there were several swipes of the oi
ls that had managed to make their way onto him as opposed to the canvas. He knelt down next to his boy. Aaron traced his fingers along Sam’s skin, marveling at how exquisite he was. To view him bound was even more breath-taking. It was always such a shame when it was time for Aaron to remove the ties.

  He took his time, allowing himself to absorb the sensuality of the experience as he gently loosened Sam’s bonds. How long had he desired to have a man of his own with whom he could practice the joys of bondage? Paying to have a partner for a few hours could never compare to the intimate connection of having someone you cared about living the lifestyle with you every step of the way.

  As he untied Sam, Aaron interspersed his attentions with small kisses and loving touches. Like every other time Aaron interacted with Sam, his sweet boy sighed and leaned in to nuzzle Aaron’s hand. There were some times when Aaron wasn’t certain which part of him was fuller—his cock or his heart. Sam filled them both.

  Aaron massaged Sam’s limbs to ease any stiffness that might have occurred from being tied and in the same position for so long. The small sighs that Sam made already had Aaron painfully hard. He’d always been a lusty man, had desired many interludes. Yet there was something so special about his little Sam that it had managed to increase Aaron’s yearnings more than ever before.

  The first thing that Aaron did after bringing Sam with him to the kitchen was to give him a full glass of water. Then they worked alongside one another to prepare their meal, as they typically did. Sam chopped up some tomatoes and radishes for a green salad. Aaron boiled some pasta to which he would add the remaining marinara sauce he’d made the day before. His time spent in Europe had been a large influence on him when it came to his culinary preferences.

  Sam added the olive oil and balsamic vinegar to the greens then shook some salt and pepper over it. He tossed everything together, humming as he did. It sounded like an old nursery rhyme—no doubt another area where Sam’s father had kept him stunted by not allowing the young man to hear any modern music. Sam had told Aaron that his father believed that even most classical music was the work of the devil. Hymns were acceptable, so the composers who had created those pieces of music were excused from Sam’s father’s judgment.

  Once they’d carried their food into the dining room and set everything down, Sam descended to his knees on the velvet pillow next to Aaron’s chair. Aaron petted his head a few times, Sam leaning into the touch as he always did. Then Aaron speared a piece of romaine lettuce and a small tomato wedge. Holding his hand underneath the fork in case the dressing dripped, Aaron brought the food over to Sam. Sam opened his mouth to take a bite of what Aaron offered him, closing his eyes as he chewed. It was Aaron’s turn and he took a similar bite. The way they ate, only one dish or bowl and one set of utensils was ever needed.

  They continued in silence, Aaron occasionally plucking the linen napkin he kept on the table for Sam and dabbing at Sam’s mouth or chin if need be. Aaron offered him water, stroked Sam’s cheek with the back of his hand or made sure that Sam got the last bite of the pasta. He existed for his boy. It was time to claim him completely.

  Chapter Eight

  Sam kept his eyes down the way he’d been taught. He rested on his heels, the position of kneeling on the pillow not only completely familiar to him, but comforting as well. It was the same way with almost everything he did for Aaron. The daily routine had helped to ease so much of Sam’s fear and uncertainty. He’d come to rely on the spankings and the tasks that had transformed what used to be a chaotic world into a calm, safe existence. But he’d also come to crave Aaron’s skilled touch.

  And there was love. Neither of them had said anything about that, but how could it not be love? Everything between them was a thrill—a rush of joy, peace. Aaron was his whole world and he knew there was still so much for them to share, so much for Sam to learn. He was eager to experience it all with Aaron as his teacher.

  “One more bite for you, little Sam.”

  Sam obediently opened his mouth so that Aaron could feed him. In the beginning of being fed by Aaron, Sam had tried to protest that Aaron should go first, that he should be the one to have the final bit of food. Aaron had needed to remind Sam once more that not only did Aaron make the decisions, but that Sam’s well-being was his responsibility. No matter how many times he’d heard Aaron say those things, it had been difficult for him to accept the reality of them. But Sam was getting better at it.

  “Let’s clean up, precious boy. Then I want to spend the rest of the night worshipping your beautiful body.”

  Sam stifled a moan. As was the case whenever Aaron spoke of them touching, Sam hardened. It had become quite clear why Aaron demanded constant nudity from him. Sam couldn’t hide. It gave Aaron the opportunity to watch him and gauge how Sam responded to every small interaction that occurred between them.

  After he rose then followed Aaron into the kitchen with their shared place setting, he helped his lover tidy up. He stole glances at Aaron as they worked together. He couldn’t imagine ever tiring of gazing on his handsome face, his striking form. With a quirk to his lips, Aaron peered at him sideways as he finished wiping off their dinner plate. Sam detected the gleam in Aaron’s eye.

  “What does my little Sam want tonight?”

  He yearned to ask so badly. After pestering Aaron to fuck him when they’d first gotten together, he’d been very patient about the whole thing. He understood enough of what went on between them that he knew that Aaron had been trying to teach him that patience. Sam also perceived that Aaron had strived to be careful with him. But it was time—Sam was ready for Aaron to be inside him.

  “Can I have whatever I want?”

  Aaron cocked his head. “Whatever? That seems a rather broad question. Let’s narrow it down a bit. Do you want us to have sex?”

  “Oh, I always want that.”

  Chuckling, Aaron stroked his cheek then leaned down for a chaste kiss. “And I find that most glorious. But was there something in particular about us having sex that you would like?”

  He wasn’t sure, but he thought that Aaron might be teasing him a bit. Sam had been so good about not asking to be fucked that maybe he would get it as a reward. Aaron hadn’t even touched him inside his butt where there was the spot he’d told Sam all about that would make him feel so good. He really wanted to at least have that.

  “Can we fuck?”

  Aaron had his lips pressed together, but the gleam was still there. Sam had learned a lot about his lover in the couple of weeks that they’d been together night and day. He recognized that Aaron was holding back laughter. It had been difficult not to feel hurt or that Aaron was mocking him, but the way Aaron gave him such unconditional love, he knew it wasn’t mean-spirited.

  I should tell him tonight.

  The love directed at Sam from Aaron was completely clear. Sam knew it, felt it. He wanted to hear Aaron say that he loved him, but he wanted to tell Aaron he loved him even more. He wasn’t sure when the proper time would be to tell him he was in love—he’d never had to wonder about such a thing before. Since he knew he would never say those words to another man again, it was important that he do it right.

  Aaron appeared to have recovered from his state of mirth. “Sam, we can most certainly fuck, I’ve ached to be inside of you for days.” Aaron gently pulled him into his arms. “But I’d rather we made love. Do you understand what I’m saying?”

  Sam inhaled sharply. He thought he did, but he needed to make sure. “Do you mean that you’re going to fuck me, but it’s because you love me too and not only because your cock is hard?”

  “Oh, Sam.”

  Aaron enfolded him in a warm embrace, rocking them both. Wrapping his arms tightly around Aaron’s slim waist, he breathed in his lover’s natural scent that was highlighted by the sandalwood soap he used. There was such a sense of safety when he was held by Aaron. No one could hurt him because Aaron wouldn’t let them.

  “Is that all right then, little Sam? Will you let me
inside your body because I love you?”

  Sam squeezed Aaron. It was his turn. He’d wanted to say it for a while and now Aaron had, so there was no reason to wait any longer. He tipped his chin up to look into Aaron’s eyes.

  “Yes, Sir, please. I love you too. I love you so very much.”

  Aaron grabbed his hair and yanked hard enough that Sam gasped, his lips parting. Aaron descended on his mouth, taking it with force. Sam submitted to his lover’s kiss, his breath stolen. A thrill shot down his spine and lodged in his groin. Already he was hard and leaking, his balls tightening. He was grateful for the orgasm denial Aaron had begun working on with him. He didn’t want to come until Aaron was all the way in. He wanted them to do that at the same time like they’d practiced when Aaron would jack them off together.

  Sam squeaked as Aaron gathered him into his arms then carried him into their bedroom. He hadn’t expected him to do such a thing. Typically, Aaron worked with Sam on his walking and posture, various stances. He directed him to always walk in step immediately behind him. It was supposed to be his training for when they went to the club.

  Aaron laid him softly on the bed, his eyes never leaving Sam’s, his expression one of reverence. Sam didn’t know what to say, so he said nothing.

  “Tonight, we’re doing this with me facing you, little Sam.”

  He nodded, swallowing down the nervousness forming inside of him.

  “We’re going to take our time.” Aaron’s voice had lowered to his most soothing tone. “You know how to ask if you need me to stop, and I will honor that, my sweet, sweet Sam.”

  Aaron kissed him again, parting Sam’s lips with his tongue and gently probing his way into Sam’s mouth. Sam answered back with his own swipes and he relaxed into his lover’s embrace. Gradually, Aaron pulled back then continued to trail the kisses down Sam’s throat to his torso then still lower. He made his journey into one seamless oral exploration of Sam’s body. Sam was hard, his erection straining for a touch, but it wasn’t urgent yet. He was boneless in Aaron’s sexual care.