A Family Man

by osborne, Sarah

  “Try and get some sleep.” Joe touched Beth’s arm. “I’ll call you if…”

  “Okay.” Without looking at him, she took Sophia’s arm and led her slowly down the corridor, leaving Joe staring behind them.

  Normally in situations like this, Sophia would have plenty to say. When it came to Joe’s relationships, she wasn’t above metaphorically banging heads together whenever she thought it was necessary. This time, though, for the entire journey, there was something about Beth’s demeanor that prevented her from speaking out. She looked tired, but it wasn’t just that. It was like there was a wall around her, and Sophia didn’t know how to find her way in. Amy had told her what Maria had said, and how Joe had done nothing to defend her. She sighed and stared out of the passenger window. There was a very good reason she wasn’t asking Beth what was wrong. It was that she didn’t think she wanted to hear the answer.

  ~ oOo ~

  Amy opened her eyes and stretched. “Joe, when did you get here?”

  Joe grunted and opened his eyes. “Couple of hours ago.”

  “Is Beth….?”

  “Beth’s fine. She’s at Ma’s getting some sleep.”

  “And everything’s okay with you two?” Without waiting for an answer, she swung her legs over the side of the cot she’d been sleeping on, and walked over to where Maria was sleeping. “Has she woken up?”

  “Not since I’ve been here.”

  “Do you think she will?”

  He shrugged. “She was restless earlier.” For some reason he didn’t mention that the doctor had been in earlier and had said that she was responding well to the drugs and was starting to rally a little, and it wasn’t because he didn’t want to get her hopes up.

  Amy pulled up a chair and sat next to him. “You look tired. Have you had any sleep?”

  “A little. I’m okay.” Maria started to stir, and he reached out and touched her hand to calm her. “Could go for a coffee and something to eat though, sugar.” He handed her a twenty. “There’s a shop by the entrance, how about you go an’ get us some sandwiches or something.”

  As soon as she was out of sight, he locked the door and closed the blinds before turning back to the figure on the bed. Maria stirred and opened her eyes as Joe pulled a syringe from his inside pocket. “Joe. What are you doing? What’s that?”

  “Just a little cocktail that I keep in my bag of tricks for occasions such as this.” He smiled. “Didn’t ever want to have to do this, M. But the doc seems to think you’re doing pretty good. Might even have a few more months left in you. And who knows the damage you could do in that time. I can’t let you hurt anyone else.”

  “No, Joe. Please, you can’t kill me. I love you. You love me.”

  “No, M. I love Beth, in a way I could never love you. And you very nearly destroyed what we have. I warned you what would happen if you hurt her or Amy.” He reached out and stroked her hair. “Don’t worry, it’ll be completely painless.” He disconnected the line going into her vein and emptied the syringe into it before reconnecting it again.

  Immediately her eyes started to close. “Reckon you got an hour maybe two before your body finally gives up the ghost. Looks like the doc got it wrong. It's such a shame when that happens.”

  “You won't get away with this.” Her voice was barely a whisper.

  He chuckled and kissed her forehead. “Oh Maria. That is so clichéd. And yes, I will. You are already staring to lose consciousness, and it’s not like you don’t already have morphine in your system. You’re due some more in about an hour aren’t you? Don’t worry, I’ll make sure they know how much pain you’re in. You see, I don’t look on this as murder. This is an act of humanity. I’m putting you out of everyone else’s misery.”

  He waited until he was sure she was fully unconscious then, unlocking the door, sat back down and waited for Amy to return.

  ~ oOo ~

  Amy slipped her hand into Joe’s as they sat next to Maria’s bed. The doctor had been in and seemed surprised at how quickly she had gone downhill, but had explained that this sometimes happened. She had expected her mom to go out kicking and screaming, but this was peaceful and nowhere near as traumatic as she had envisioned. Her aunt had arrived a short time ago but hadn’t joined them at the bedside. Instead she leaned against the wall on the far side of the room, her eyes never leaving Joe, an unreadable expression on her face. Silently, they waited as almost imperceptibly Maria’s chest stopped rising and falling and finally became still. Joe reached forward and checked her pulse. “She’s gone.”

  Without a word, Beth pushed herself away from the wall and walked out, not even acknowledging Joe or her niece.

  “I think maybe you should go after her, Joe.”

  He nodded and, without a word, followed Beth down the corridor and into a small chapel. She didn’t turn or even look up as he sat next to her on one of the long wooden benches. “Was this you, Joe?”

  “Beth, I...”

  “Just a simple yes or no will suffice.” She turned and stared at him with emotionless eyes. “Did you just kill my sister?”

  “Beth.”

  “Answer me.”

  There would be no point in lying. She’d see straight through him. “Yes.”

  “Why?”

  He shrugged. “She tried to drive you away. That shit she said to you. You think she’d have left it at that? The doc said she was getting better, that she could live for months if she took care of herself. She would have spent that time trying to tear my family apart.”

  “So you took matters into your own hands.”

  “Yeah.”

  “You must have realized that I’d know.”

  “To be honest, girl.” He grinned. “I underestimated you.”

  “Story of your life, Joe.”

  “You gonna walk away?” He couldn’t bring himself to look at her. Afraid of what he might see.

  “No, Joe. I don’t think I am. I do need a little to wrap my head around what you’ve done, though. I’m kinda freaking out here.”

  “Would you have preferred me to lie?”

  She shrugged and stared up at the flower arrangement at the front of the chapel. “Do you know when it was that I first realized that I loved you?” When he didn’t answer she continued. “I must have been about eight or nine, and you were about sixteen. Maria had stolen a bottle of scotch from that asshole that mom was living with at the time. When he found out, he went ape. Grabbed her by the hair and dragged her into the house. You followed them in and said it was you. That Maria had nothing to do with it. I remember watching him hit you over and over with his belt and you never made a sound. You just took the punishment so Maria would be spared, and all the time, she watched, loving every moment. It broke my heart. You were so brave and noble. But even then, all Maria saw was a sucker.”

  “I loved her. Didn’t want to see her get hurt.”

  “I know, and so did she. It killed me, Joe. Watching her use you again and again. Each time I’d hope that you’d would walk away, but you never did. You have no idea how wonderful it was to finally, after all those years, be with you. Oh, I knew that there were other things that would take precedence. The club, Amy, Sophia. But yesterday…The things Maria said, the things you said. It hurt so much.”

  “I know, and I’m sorry. I’ve always had a blind spot when it came to M. But yesterday, shit, Beth, I thought I’d lost you. That’s why I did what I did. I couldn’t let her do this to us, to you, any more.”

  “This isn’t going to come back and bite us, is it?”

  “No. You were there, Beth. She went quiet and peaceful. There’ll be no autopsy. She was already dying. I just helped her on her way.”

  Beth nodded and stood up. “We better get back to Amy. There’s things I have to organize.”

  He watched as she headed for the door. “Are we okay?”

  “Yeah. I think we are.”

  ~ oOo ~

  It wasn’t much to show for a life. Amy held her brother’s
hand as they followed the coffin into the chapel. The only other mourners apart from Sophia, Joe and Beth were the people whom Jack would be staying with. There were no flowers, no one to stand up and give a eulogy. She wondered if she’d ever be able to properly grieve. Surely normal people cried when their mother died.

  “You okay, sugar?”

  She turned as Joe touched her arm. “I think so. I don’t really feel anything.”

  “It’ll come, don’t worry.”

  “And you? Are you okay, Joe?”

  “I’m fine.” Apart from being wracked with guilt for killing his kid’s mom, his old lady’s sister. He’d never felt bad about killing before. He wasn’t sure what sort of man that made him. All he knew was that for the past week he couldn’t get what he’d done out of his head. Every time Amy looked at him, he hated himself. He felt Beth’s hand slip into his, and immediately felt a little better. He wasn’t sure what he’d have done if she had walked away. Squeezing her hand, he turned to her. “I love you, Beth. Thank you for staying.”

  ~ oOo ~

  The journey back to Seattle was tense. Amy couldn’t quite put on her finger what was wrong with Joe. Things were okay between him and her aunt, in fact they seemed closer than ever. In fact, it was her he was distant with. She sighed. More than anything, she wanted to talk to him. But squashed in the truck between him and Beth wasn’t the place to do it. Instead, she leaned against him. With one hand on the wheel he slipped his other arm around her shoulders, and Amy closed her eyes, contenting herself with the knowledge that no matter what was going on with him, it wasn’t that he didn’t love her.

  ~ oOo ~

  Samson watched as Tiny crossed the clubhouse. Barney had told him that he’d just buried his ex, and he felt a little guilty for what he was about to ask him to do. He pushed himself away from the bar. “Yo, Tiny. You got a minute?”

  “Sure.” He turned and joined his former president at the bar.

  “Got a job, need a good man at my back.”

  “Okay, where and when?”

  “I know you probably got a lot a shit at home right now, and I’ll understand if you wanna pass.”

  “I said okay, Samson.” He gave a lopsided grin. “To be honest, man, I could use a run.”

  “Bit more than a run, Joe. You remember Dixon?”

  “Asshole from Salt Lake. Yeah I remember him.”

  “He’s hooked up with a bunch of separatist assholes out Reno way, been hitting Serpiente 's heroin runs and torched the Desert Ghosts’ clubhouse.”

  “Why would that involve us?”

  “He’s doing this while wearing club colors. Vince has managed to smooth things over, explained he was a renegade. But if we want to avoid a war, he has to be stopped.” Samson finished his beer. “So far he’s proving to be a slippery fucker. I guess he knew the club would come looking and has gone to ground, and I know how you love a good manhunt.”

  Joe grinned. “So when do we leave?”

  ~ oOo ~

  Beth wondered if watching him leave ever got any easier. Somehow she doubted it. Amy was pissed that he was leaving so soon after they got back, and to be honest, she didn’t blame her. Yes, this was what he did, and they had to accept that aspect of his life, but Beth was sure this had more to do with his guilt over Maria’s death than him being needed by the club. She was pretty sure he didn’t regret what he did, but he could hardly bring himself to look Amy in the eye. She could only hope that things would improve on his return. She started as a hand touched her shoulder. “You okay, little girl?”

  “Shit, Samson, you damn near gave me a heart attack.” She smiled. “I’m okay, I guess.”

  “Don’t worry, I’ll keep him safe.” He tucked a stray hair behind her ear. “I know you’ve had a rough few weeks, I promise I’ll get him back to you in one piece as quickly as I can.”

  “Hey, you hitting on my old lady?” Joe looked up from fixing his saddlebags and, stalking over to them, pulled her into his arms. “Amy still sulking?”

  “Yeah, maybe you should talk to her before you go.” Beth kissed him softly, her hand resting on his chest. “She’s scared she’s going to lose you as well.”

  Amy looked up as her bedroom door opened and Joe walked in. “Hey sugar, you still pissed at me?”

  “A little. I just don’t know why you have to go so soon. I’ve hardly seen you since we got back.”

  “I know, Amy. I’m sorry.” He sat on the bed next to her. “I got a lot going on in my head, an’ I’ve been shutting you out. I guess I ain't good with feelings and shit, but I promise, as soon as I get back I will make time for you.”

  “When will that be?”

  He shrugged. “Not sure. A while.” He leaned over and kissed the top of her head. “Yeah, I know. I’m a selfish asshole. But I do love you, and I will be back as soon as I can.”

  Amy must’ve heard this speech a hundred times, and she knew she’d hear it a hundred times more. “I know, Joe. I love you, too. Just come back to us whole.”

  THIRTY-FIVE

  The women that hung around the various clubhouses he visited came in all shapes and sizes, from the very young, naïve girls looking for a bad boy and a way to piss off mommy and daddy, to the beat up old whores with no where else to go. The woman who was currently pressing herself up against Samson’s thigh fell somewhere in between. She was attractive enough in the dim clubhouse light, but was way past that first flush of youth. Almost unconsciously he fondled her ass as he watched his brother head outside.

  They had been on the road for two days and were resting up in Vegas while they figured out their next move. It seemed that Dixon had fallen off the face of the planet and despite using Mac’s skills to see if he’d left any sort of electronic paper trail, they’d come up with nothing. Samson wasn’t worried; sooner or later he’d show himself, and as soon as he did they’d get him.

  He was, however, worried about Tiny. He wasn’t the most talkative of his brothers, in fact, that was one of the reasons Samson enjoyed riding with him so much. But this was more than just his usual quietness. They had been friends for nearly twenty years, and in that time Samson had learned to recognize his brother’s moods better than most. Often people believed that Tiny was cold and emotionless; this, however, was not true. He felt the same as everyone else, he just hid it better than most.

  He turned to the girl. He wasn’t sure of her name. Candy? Cindy? Fuck, who cared. “Get me another beer, I’ll be back in a sec.” Pushing himself away from the bar, he followed his traveling companion outside. “Yo, bro'. Wait up.”

  Joe stopped in his tracks, feeling his jaw clench as Samson jogged behind him. “S’up, brother?”

  “Could ask you the same question.” He slung his arm around Tiny’s shoulder and pulled a joint from the inside pocket of his cut. “I think you an’ me need a little chat.” Samson led him to a low wall and, sitting down, lit the joint and passed it straight to him. “Talk to me, brother.”

  “’Bout what?”

  “About whatever it is that’s got you spun out. There’s a fucking party going on in there, an’ you’re acting like it’s a wake. Shit, man, I ain't saying you gotta fuck every available pussy. But would it kill you to crack a smile now and then? And maybe acknowledge your brothers?”

  “You seriously giving me shit cuz I ain't in the mood to party?”

  “It ain't just that, and you know it. You’ve been, I dunno, off.”

  “Off?”

  “Yeah, off. You’re quiet, even for you. Something’s eating at you, an’ I’m guessing it has to do with Amy’s mom. Please don’t tell me you’re still bent outta shape over that gash.”

  Joe took a pull on the joint and scowled. “If it don’t affect the way I get shit done, it ain't none of your concern.”

  “C’mon, man, We’ve been friends an’ brothers a long time. If I didn’t think you had your head in the game, I’d let you know. I’m just showing brotherly concern, is all.” Samson chuckled. “And to be ho
nest, I don’t wanna be looking at your miserable face for weeks on end.”

  “Been a tough couple of weeks, Amy losing her mom, Beth losing her sister.”

  “If you think you should be with them, go back to Seattle.” Samson narrowed his eyes. “It ain't that, is it? I know you, Tiny, this is about you. If it was about that kid or your old lady, you’d be calling home every five minutes.”

  “Me an’ Amy’s mom were together a long time. I guess her dying got to me.”

  “And that’s it?”

  “I guess.”

  Joe looked out over the lot. There was a huge part of him that would love to offload onto his brother. He knew Samson wouldn’t judge him. Despite this, he stayed silent, his jaw clenched, refusing to make eye contact.

  “Well if you’re sure that’s all it is. I’ll leave you alone to brood.” Samson stood. “I ain't an expert on shit like this. But you got a good woman at home, so I suggest you get this out of your system before you go back to her. She’s worth ten of that gash you put in the ground, and she don’t need to see you still getting bent outta shape over her, especially now she’s cold.”

  “Beth’s okay. We’re okay.” He fell silent. He’d never be able to explain the reason he killed Maria. Hell, he couldn’t admit that even to himself.

  Knowing that Joe had said all he was going to say on the subject, Samson turned and walked back to the clubhouse. He knew that whatever was going on in his friend’s head wouldn’t affect the way he did his job, and if he didn’t want to talk, he wouldn’t push him. Especially as he had a cold beer and warm pussy waiting for him inside. He pushed open the door and sauntered over to the bar where Candy, or Cindy, was waiting.

  ~ oOo ~

  Candice gritted her teeth as the big nomad pounded away inside her. She had a pretty good idea why him and that even bigger bastard were there. At the first opportunity, she had latched onto Samson. It had been a risky thing to do. If Tiny had recognized her from the Salt Lake clubhouse, she’d be in trouble. Fortunately, he hadn’t even looked in her direction, so she was able to discreetly listen to what was being said without them paying her any attention. The only time the patches noticed a woman was when they were fucking her or they wanted a beer. She had always been a favorite of Dixon’s and as such had held a fairly high standing at Salt Lake. She missed that, and although she earned good money turning tricks here in Vegas, she hated how invisible she was in the clubhouse. Although right now, that invisibility was useful, and if she reported back to Dixon, maybe he’d agree to make her his old lady after all.