A Family Man

by osborne, Sarah

  FORTY-FIVE

  Beth threw her bag on the bed and slumped down next to it with a sigh. After a ten-hour shift at the local 7 Eleven, her feet were killing her. How did it ever come to this? Living in a shitty little studio, doing a shitty little job and a shitty part of town in Upstate New York. Even after five months away from Joe, the pain of separation was still acute. Not a night went by that she didn’t lie awake wishing he was next to her. She knew from Sophia that he’d been looking for her and that he always asked about her when he called. Maybe she had been too hasty.

  No, she knew she hadn’t. There had been something… When he had grabbed her, a look in his eye. He’d scared her and he knew it. But it wasn’t just that, he’d scared her before when he’d lost his temper, but as soon as he realized, he had backed off. That last time however, he hadn’t. In fact, the last time she’d seen someone look at her like that, it was just before her ex had tried to strangle her. She still loved Joe, she always would. But she would never put herself in that situation again. Especially now.

  Spike followed Tiny through the clubhouse and watched as, instead of heading to the bar like he once would have, he made straight for out back. He guessed it was good that his brother was no longer drinking himself into oblivion at every opportunity, but hiding himself away from everyone didn’t seem healthy, either. He looked around. “Hey, Mac. Over here.”

  Mac trotted over, that eager to please expression written all over his face. Shit, he couldn’t stand the little nerd. “What’s up, Spike?”

  “How easy would it be for you to trace Tiny’s old lady? Say through her bank account?”

  “Not easy.”

  “But you could?”

  “If she banks online and I knew her email address, maybe I could….”

  “Do you know her email address, fuckwit?”

  “No.”

  “So the answer would be no, then.”

  “I guess. Why do you want me to trace her? Tiny said…”

  “Don’t give a shit what Tiny wants. You traced her before, how did you do it then?”

  “It was simple, she still had her cell and the same email address and we knew she was in Cali, so with a bit of fishing it was easy to come up with an address.” He frowned. “I’m good, and can hack into systems given enough time. But I can’t perform miracles.”

  “You found King.”

  “Yeah cuz I had his bank account details, and he was careless. Beth’s smart. She knew it would take time to trace her and by the time I did, she’d taken off and covered her tracks. You wanna find her, go to the Feds.”

  “Shit.” Spike ran his fingers through his hair. “Shit. I need to do something. Tell Vince… Fuck it. Tell Vince I got something needs doing. Don’t let him send Tiny to deal with that Serpiente asshole on his own.”

  ~ oOo ~

  Sophia sighed and poked at the food on her plate. Hanna, her caregiver, was a lovely girl, kind and patient. But she was a lousy cook. She looked up as the sound of a Harley pulling up outside broke the silence. She watched through the window as Spike removed his helmet and stalked towards the front door, a feeling of dread rising in her chest. Hanna opened the door and led him into the living room. Sophia took a deep breath and waited for the news she’d dreaded for as long as she could remember. “Don’t look so worried, Mrs. T, I ain't the bringer of bad news.” Spike smiled and sat on the sofa. “I need to know where Beth is. I know she keeps in touch with you, and I’m pretty sure you must have pushed her to contact Tiny. Please, I’m really worried about him.”

  “I can’t help you, Spike. I’m sorry. I’ve begged her to tell me where she is, but she won't tell me. All I know is she’s out east, and I’m guessing from stuff she’s said, she’s in New York state.” She sighed. “I’m worried about Joe too, but I’m scared if I put too much pressure on her she won't call anymore.”

  “So you don’t have a phone number?”

  “No, she calls me and withholds her number.”

  Spike nodded and handed her a scrap of paper. “My number. Get her to call me. I don’t care how you do it. Lie if you have to. Please, we need to get her back before Tiny is lost for good.”

  “I’ll see what I can do, but she’s not stupid. I’m not sure…”

  “Just try.”

  “Okay.” She smiled. “Thank you.”

  “What for?”

  “For looking out for him.”

  “He’s my brother, an’ I love him.” He stood and, bending over, kissed her cheek. “Gotta keep you boy on the straight and narrow. Gotta go. Later.”

  “Bye, Spike.” She watched him climb back on his bike and disappear down the road. Her son was lucky to have so many people who cared for him, although she doubted he even noticed.

  ~ oOo ~

  “Please, Beth, just call him.”

  Beth sighed. “I’m sorry, Sophia. If I call Spike, he’s just going to try to pressure me to contact Joe. It’s not going to happen, we’re done. I’m not going over this with you again. Joe had his chance and he blew it.”

  “Then I’m sorry too. If you don’t start to build bridges, we’re done, too.”

  “What? You can’t do that.”

  “Oh yes I can, my girl. I love you like you were my own. But Joe is my son and by hiding away from him you are killing him. You’ve made your point, but it’s time to go home.”

  “Made my point? Made my fucking point? Jesus! I’ve been slapped, pushed around. Shit. He accused me of cheating. Do you have any idea what happens to old ladies who cheat? You really think I would take off for five months just to make a point?”

  “He didn’t mean it, Beth. He was hurting real bad and when he gets like that, he lashes out. Just give him one more chance, Beth. Please.”

  “I’m sorry, Sophia. He scared me. Really scared me. I won't…I can’t allow that to happen again.”

  “Then I guess there’s nothing else we have to say to each other. Goodbye.”

  ~ oOo ~

  Beth stared in disbelief at the cell in her hand. “Joe’s hurting, Joe needs you.” That’s all she’d fucking heard. What about what she needed? Her pain? None of them gave a shit about what she was going through. Least of all Joe. Family? Ha! They didn’t know the meaning of the word. Flipping open her phone again, she pressed call.

  “Hello?”

  “Joe?”

  “Beth? Oh shit, Beth, I…..”

  “Shut up and listen. Tell Spike and whoever else thinks they can butt into my life to leave me the fuck alone. Thanks to him, your mom is no longer speaking to me.”

  “Beth, I had nothing to do with that. I swear. I have done what you asked and stayed away. Even if it is killing me. I miss you, baby girl.”

  She took a deep breath. Allowing the sound of his voice to soothe her. “You know where I am, don’t you?”

  “Not exactly. But I yeah, I know what town you’re in. I know you, Beth. If you’re gonna run it will be to somewhere you feel safe. As soon as ma told me you had headed out east, I figured you must be in Hudson. I remember you staying with your grandfather there when you were a kid.”

  “If you knew where I was, how come you didn’t come looking?”

  “Is that what you wanted? For me to go out there and drag you back?”

  “No, of course not. I just thought…”

  “Thought what, Beth? I might have fucked up. But I only want you here if that’s where you want to be. As far as everyone is concerned I don’t have any idea where to start looking for you. Figured I owed you that.” She heard his voice falter. “How I feel about you hasn’t changed. And you wanna come back to me, I will welcome you with open arms. But if you wanna stay away I’ll respect that. I’ll talk to Ma. She’ll calm down.”

  “Okay, thank you. Joe?”

  “Yeah?”

  “I never stopped loving you.”

  “Never stopped loving you, either. I just forgot how to feel for a while.”

  “And now?”

  “And now, talki
ng to you, I remember.”

  “Do you think we could maybe meet up? Maybe somewhere neutral. I think we should talk, properly. Face to face.”

  “Of course. Name the time and place and I’ll be there, you know that, Beth.”

  “LA. The beach house where I stayed before. We won't be disturbed, I think we need some time. Just the two of us, you know. No distractions.”

  “You sure this is what you want?”

  “No, I’m not. But we do need to talk about…..stuff. I’ll talk to my ex-boss and get back to you with the details.”

  “Okay. So does this mean…?”

  “It means we are going to talk. I don’t know about anything else. I have to go. Bye.”

  “Bye, baby girl.”

  Beth hung up, suddenly aware of her heart pounding wildly. Oh God. What if she was making a huge mistake? No, she wasn’t. They had to talk, she owed him that, and if she was honest, she owed it to herself as well. It may be that they really were done, that there was too much water under the bridge. She didn’t know. But Joe had always been a part of her life, and she really couldn’t see a future without him in it.

  To Joe, it felt like the world had shifted. He slid down the barn wall and let his phone drop through his fingers.

  He didn’t honestly know whether he wanted to laugh or cry. As soon as he’d heard her voice, he’d come alive. Shakily he stood up and walked towards the door.

  “Hey, Tiny. Where the fuck d’ya think ya going?” Long John yelled at his retreating form.

  “Gotta go.” Offering no other explanation, he hurried outside and climbed on his bike. The noise was roaring through his head. He had to ride, had to drown it out. Beth wanted to see him and he couldn’t fuck this up. Not again.

  FORTY-SIX

  LAX was, as usual, swarming with vacationers, business types and families. Joe ignored them all. His eyes were fixed on the point where she would come into view, almost too scared to blink.

  Suddenly she was there. Their eyes met, and his grin matched hers. She was so beautiful, those huge brown eyes, her glossy black hair tied back in a high ponytail, exposing her long, swanlike neck. His eyes traveled downward, following the line of the heavy silver cross that nestled just above those beautiful tits that seemed fuller than he remembered. Maybe it was the low neckline of the peasant style top that flowed over her….What the fuck was that? In three strides, he covered she space between them. “Beth?”

  She smiled coyly. “Well, I did say we needed to talk.”

  “Beth.” There were a million and one things he wanted to say to her right now, yet he couldn’t think of anything.

  She reached up on tiptoes and kissed him on the corner of his mouth. “How about we go to the house, and we can talk then.”

  He nodded and, taking the rucksack from her, led her to his bike. Shit! Could she ride? “Are you gonna be okay on my bike?”

  “Of course.” She took the helmet from him. “I guess I should have given you a heads up. Huh?”

  He nodded mutely and she touched his hand, before climbing on behind him.

  Despite his anxiety over having her on the back of his bike, Joe was glad of the fact that it made conversation was impossible. He was going to have to say something eventually, but for the life of him, he couldn’t think what.

  It was only a short ride to the beach house and in less than an hour they were pulling up outside. His head still reeling, he followed her inside and dropped the bags on the floor. Beth turned and cocked her head slightly. “Are you going to say anything?”

  He ran his hand through his hair. “Is it mine?” Shit! What was wrong with him? Of all the stupid ass things to say. “I’m sorry. Shit, Beth.” His eyes met hers and to his astonishment saw no anger there, just disappointment.

  She sighed. “I told you before. I’m not my sister. Of course she’s yours.”

  “She?”

  “She. We’re going to have a little girl.” She laid her hand against his chest. “Joe?”

  “Did you know?”

  “When I left? No. I should have told you as soon as I found out. But you were so… I just wanted to put as much distance between us as possible while I decided what I was going to do.”

  “What you were going to do? Like kill it?”

  “No. Never. With us. I’d never keep you away from her, but I had to be sure you wouldn’t…” She looked away.

  “You actually thought I’d hurt my own kid. Fuck. How could you think that?” He pushed her hair away from her face. “Did I scare you that much?”

  “Yes, you did. I’d never seen you like that.” She took a deep breath, acutely aware of how close he was to her. “If we are to move on, and try again. I have to feel safe around you.”

  “I love you, Beth. I can't even begin to explain how I felt. There were all these emotions buzzing around inside me and I didn’t know what to do with them, so I tried to lock them down. I knew I was shutting you out, and I could feel you slipping away, but I couldn’t stop it from happening. That night. I knew that I scared you, and I liked it. How fucked up is that? I wanted to hurt you. I wanted you to feel what I felt.” His hands dropped to his sides. “It’s like someone flicked a switch inside my head. All I want to do now is hurt people. I’m hurting, so they should too. You were right to get away from me. I’m dangerous to be around.”

  She took his hand and placed it on her belly. “In a little over two months we are going to have a baby daughter. I want her to have a mom and a dad, who will love her and keep her safe.”

  “I couldn’t keep Amy safe.”

  “What happened to Amy wasn’t your fault. You can’t let what happened to her prevent you from loving this one. Stop punishing yourself, Joe. And stop punishing everybody else.”

  “And if I can’t?”

  “Then you have to do the decent thing and stay as far away from us as possible.”

  Joe stared at the woman in front of him. He honestly didn’t think there had been a time when she had looked more beautiful. He swallowed and ran his thumb down her cheek. “I don’t want to lose you, Beth.” Gently, he lifted her chin and kissed her softly. “I should never have let you go.”

  “I don’t remember you having much choice.” Beth stepped back. “I never wanted to leave you. Shit, I spent my whole life wanting to be with you. But it was you that told me that no one had the right to hurt me.”

  “Tell me what I have to do.”

  “Let me in, Joe. That’s all I ask.” Unconsciously her hands spread protectively across her belly. “Be the man I fell in love with.”

  “I’ve been an idiot, Beth. I was so wrapped up in my own shit and my head was so far up my own ass I couldn’t see what I was doing to you.”

  “And now?”

  “Had five months of realizing what a douche I’d been. Not to mention practically everyone telling me that I’d thrown away the best thing that ever happened to me. Have you any idea how much shit Ma gave me?” He swallowed. “I want you back, Beth. I want this baby.”

  She smiled. “Sure you don’t want a DNA test?”

  “Ouch! Okay, baby girl, I guess I deserved that. But you really telling me that in five months you haven’t been with anyone else?”

  “I take it by that—you have.”

  “Ain't gonna lie to you, Beth. I thought we were done.”

  She shrugged. “Don’t sweat it, Joe. I’m not really interested in what happened when we weren’t together. But if we do make a go of this, the same rules apply. This ‘what happens on a run’ bullshit does not apply to you. If I find out you’ve been fucking behind my back, I walk.”

  “Okay.”

  “You raise your hand to me or our daughter, I walk.”

  “Goes without saying.”

  “I expect you to trust me. I have never cheated on you, nor would I. If you start throwing accusations around about me and your brothers…”

  “Yeah, I get it. You walk. I’m sorry about what I said about you and Samson, although I stil
l think he’d fuck you, given half a chance. I've got eyes.” He grinned. “Not that I blame him. You are one hot chick.”

  “Okay.”

  “What?”

  “Okay, we’ll try again.” She reached up and touched his face. “Now, the bedroom’s through there and five months is a long time. So I suggest you get in there and get naked…..Oh”

  Joe picked her up and carried her to the bedroom, dropping her on the bed with a grunt. “Fuck. How pregnant did you say you were? You sure there's only one in there?”

  Laughing, she pulled her top off over her head, exposing her round belly. “Careful, Joe. You’re still on probation. And I’m pregnant, which gives me free rein to be an unreasonable hormonal bitch.”

  “You can be as unreasonable as you like, baby girl.” He sank to his knees in front of her. “That is the hottest thing I have ever seen.” Beth huffed and he laughed. “You’re cooking my kid in there. It don’t get sexier than that.” He pulled down her leggings to reveal large, white cotton panties. “Beth, baby. I love you, and everything about you. But those have to go.”

  “They’re comfortable.” She slipped her arms around his neck. “You might think I look sexy. But I certainly don’t feel it. I’m fat and sweaty, and….” He silenced her with a kiss and pushed her back so she was lying on the bed.

  Climbing on next to her, he ran his hands down her body. He hadn’t been lying, he couldn’t get over how beautiful she looked. Were all pregnant women this hot? Joe had no idea, certainly he didn’t remember Maria looking this good—although, he guessed being pregnant while addicted to smack hadn’t done much for her looks. Beth, though, positively glowed. He’d heard it said before but never witnessed it with his own eyes. “You’re not fat. You’re beautiful. Now get rid of those things.” As she removed her bra and panties, he pulled off his own clothes. There had never in his entire life been a time when he had been nervous about being with a woman, but as he watched her lay back with a salacious grin on her face, a feeling of apprehension washed over him. “It will be okay, won't it? I won't hurt the baby?”