Lily sighed. She'd try again tomorrow. There had to be something in this city she could do. And if not, she'd head into the country. Somebody had to have some cows that needed milking. She couldn't imagine a gaggle of young men would be anxious to stand around in the muck at dawn to watch her. Maybe she could keep that job.
* * * * *
Zac's luck was still swinging wildly from one extreme to another. He'd spent the last week trying to keep from losing his shirt. Yet in three hands tonight he'd won more than he'd lost in three nights.
This wild careening back and forth was beginning to get on his nerves. He'd never been a nervous gambler, not when he first moved to New Orleans, not when he worked the Mississippi river boats, not even when he was running a saloon in the wildest of the mining towns. His luck had never deserted him. He'd always been a steady winner.
Those days were a thing of the past.
"You're hot tonight," Dodie said when he got up to stretch his legs. "I guess that means Lily is coming by."
Zac started like a man holding five aces when he hears the hammer of a gun click.
"What? Where?" he said looking around.
Dodie laughed. "She's not here now. I just said she's bound to show up. She does every time you have a run of luck these days."
"She does, doesn't she? Like a bad penny."
But that wasn't the way he really felt about her, not anymore. He realized he'd been thinking about Lily every day, wondering what was happening with her job, wondering how she was getting along, wondering if his friends were still following her around. There were so many ways to get into trouble, even with Bella Holt watching over her.
"I think I'll get a breath of fresh air," Zac said.
Dodie looked at him questioningly. "When did you start wanting fresh air? I've known you to go weeks without once stepping out of doors."
Zac was starting to get irritated with Dodie. She was too much like a conscience.
"Maybe it goes back to growing up in Texas where there wasn't anything but fresh air," he replied somewhat irritably. "Maybe it comes from these wild swings, one night losing every hand, winning them all the next. It makes me doubt my skill, and I've never done that. It's the one thing I could always depend on."
"Skill, yes, luck, no," Dodie replied. "And you've had an awful lot of luck."
"Maybe," Zac said as he moved away.
The Barbary Coast district was always busy at night. Saloons, theaters, and dives of every description lined both sides of the street. Men entered and left in a constant stream of humanity. The noise of music, the jangle and whistle of gambling machines, the cacophony of human voices raised to every level of pitch and volume, the light that poured from street lamps and through windows, all created a miasma of human excess that inhibited most people's ability to think or reason.
It used to heighten Zac's excitement, used to make him feel he had everything he'd ever wanted. Yet now he felt restless, unsatisfied, as though there were something essential he'd overlooked. Only he couldn't figure out what it was.
He didn't understand why it disturbed him to look into the future and see himself as the aging owner of a chain of successful gambling saloons across the country, or why it should trouble him to see himself surrounded by a multitude of faceless women singing and dance their lives away.
Zac took out a cigar, cut off the end, and lighted it. Rose said it was a filthy habit, but he didn't listen to Rose. He didn't want any female telling him what to do, when to come home, what to think, what to feel. He threw off the feeling of confinement that had begun to envelope him. He pushed back the doubts that only moments ago had made him question the last eight years of his life.
He was the man he wanted to be, living the life he wanted. Even his brothers suffered from moments of self-doubt. That's all this was.
Relieved the moment of doubt had passed, he drew on his cigar and blew the smoke into the foggy night. Only then did he notice the cab that had drawn up in front of the saloon, the woman with the halo of hair like moonlight who stepped out.
"Lily!" he exclaimed, choking on a mouthful of smoke. "What the hell are you doing here?"
"I've thrown her out," announced Bella Holt as she climbed down from the cab. "I'm bringing her to you."
Chapter Ten
Lily looked demoralized. Zac had never seen her look so wilted, so totally lacking in self-confidence and determination. She looked like she'd been punished at school and knew she was going to get worse when she got home.
Zac got angry. And for one of the few times in his life, he wasn't thinking of himself.
"What the hell do you mean by doing this? I paid you plenty."
Bella didn't answer immediately. She was too busy directing the driver to unload Lily's trunk and suitcases.
"It was my fault," Lily said.
"What on earth could you do to cause Bella to throw you out into the street?"
"I'm not throwing her into the street," Bella said, turning her attention from the luggage to Zac. "I'm handing her over to you."
"I got fired from my job," Lily said.
"Not again."
"It was the fourth time," Bella told him. "Now nobody will hire her."
"I don't have enough money for my rent," Lily said.
"If that's all--" Zac began.
"That's not all," Bella interrupted. "Do you think I'd throw her out just because she couldn't pay her rent, especially when she has a cousin with far more money than he knows what to do with?"
"Then why are you doing it?"
"For giving my place a bad name."
"I thought she gave your dreary mausoleum a touch a class for a change," Zac said.
"Do you consider it a touch of class to have a dozen men hanging about the steps morning, noon, and night?" Bella demanded angrily, her tempered flaring in defense of her reputation. "How about fights to see who gets to escort her home, or down the street, or hire a cab for her? Not to mention scaring poor Mr. Hornaday within an inch of his life."
"Who the hell is Mr. Hornaday?" Zac demanded, annoyed the conversation should be making so little sense.
"He's the unfortunate man who was kind enough to give her employment in his bookstore," Bella said. "That was her second job. They came close to beating him up for dismissing her."
Zac sniggered.
"You should have been there when they stormed into Mrs. Chickalee's store. That was after she'd been fired for the fourth time," Bella said, incensed Zac wasn't taking this in the right spirit. "The poor woman was so unnerved she collapsed and hasn't been able to raise her head off the pillow since."
Zac exploded with laughter.
"You can laugh if you want," Bella said, obviously furious, "but I won't have it any longer. I had more men hanging about the place than . . . than . . . " she turned around, looking for inspiration, " . . . than Salem House," she said, pointing to the elegant house halfway up the next block.
"Maybe you should change your line of business."
That suggestion didn't please Bella in the least.
"I should have expected scorn from you. Considering what you do day in and day out, I'm not surprised that--"
Bella broke off, but not because Zac was no longer laughing. Lily had taken hold of Bella's arm and jerked her almost off her feet.
"Don't you dare say one more word about Zac," Lily said. "After all he's done for you, it's really quite unforgivable for you to even think such things."
Bella stared at Lily with open-mouthed shock.
"Ellen told me what you were before Zac found you. She also told me he lent you money to buy your rooming house, how you had the nerve to charge him extra for my room, as well as charging him to help find me a job -- yes, I know all about that, too -- well, I never would have thought it of you. Your taste in home furnishings may be quite deplorable, but I had thought you were an honest, fair woman."
Zac stared at Lily, stunned by her outburst. A real fire-eater was hidden inside this seemingly mild angel.
He could practically see the Reverend Isaac Sterling calling down fire and brimstone to consume poor Bella, and all because she'd said what everybody thought.
While Bella stood speechless, Lily turned back to Zac. The fire-eater seemed to disappear like it had never been there.
"It really isn't her fault. I tried to stop the men from threatening Mrs. Chickalee, but they wouldn't listen. I was truly afraid they were going to hurt Mr. Hornaday."
Zac had difficulty focusing on what Lily was saying to him. He still couldn't get over the fact she'd been ready to attack Bella because she dared to slander his name. Hell, worse things than that were said about him every hour.
He felt a pang of conscience he hadn't been equally zealous on her behalf. He should have made it his job to check on her, to see that things were going right. Whether he wanted to admit it or not, she was his responsibility. If he hadn't opened his mouth, she would never have thought of running away from home.
Still, the thought of Anthony Bellrose threatening to assault a little old lady tickled his funny bone. "I'd like to have seen the woman's face when her shop was invaded by a dozen infuriated swains."
"If you think it's so funny, you deal with the hordes of men who hang about her. And that includes some of your friends," Bella shouted as she got back into the cab. "But don't ask me to help her further."
"We won't," Dodie called out as the cab started to move away. She had come out in time to hear most of Lily's attack on Bella. "And good riddance to you. Taking her to your place was a mistake from the start."
"Where should I have taken her?" Zac asked.
"You should have put her on the first train and escorted her back to Virginia yourself," Dodie said.
"She wouldn't go," Zac said.
"You didn't try hard enough," Dodie said. "But that's water over the dam. Things are different now. The question is what are you going to do now?" She pointed to the luggage sitting on the boardwalk. "You'd better make up your mind. That's going to attract a lot of attention."
"I can go to another rooming house," Lily offered. "There must be someone who's never heard of me. It doesn't have to be as nice. I--"
"You'll do no such thing," Zac said. "I'll take you to Tyler's hotel."
"Please don't send me there," Lily begged. "I like Daisy very much, but I'd be petrified in such a grand place."
She tried not to show it, but it was impossible not to notice the fear in her eyes.
"I think she ought to stay here," Dodie said, "at least for the night."
"Yes, please," Lily said. "I won't be any trouble."
The relief in Lily's expression was evident, but Zac felt an equivalent increase of tension within himself. "There's no place for you to sleep. Every room is full." But that wasn't the real problem. A woman like Lily had no business in a place like the Little Corner of Heaven. Even though he tried to protect the reputation of his employees, women who worked in saloons had bad reputations just for that fact. Some of it was bound to rub off on Lily.
"The hotel's the perfect place," Zac insisted. "Daisy will take good care of you."
"I'm sure she would," Lily said, "but I'd feel a lot more comfortable here. I won't be a bother. I don't need anything more than a place to sleep. I promise I--"
"But we don't have any extra beds," Zac said.
Lily's face fell.
"You'll like the Palace," Zac assured her. "You've only seen the dining room. What until you see the rest. There's nothing like it in the world. It'll take you days just to stop staring at everything."
"She can do that some other time," Dodie said as she picked up one suitcase and handed a smaller one to Lily. "Right now she needs to be with friends." Taking Lily by the arm, she turned toward the saloon.
"But there's no place for her to sleep," Zac repeated.
"I know the perfect place," Dodie said. "Now stop scowling and get somebody to bring up that trunk."
Zac muttered to himself as he set about getting the trunk taken inside. It seemed he had spent his life doing the bidding of one female after another. First his mother, then Rose. Now, when he was a grown man and ought to be having things his way at last, he was dancing to strings pulled first by Lily, then by Dodie. There was something wrong here. He was the boss; he was the one who held the purse strings. But if that was so, why was he seeing to the luggage?
And where the hell was Dodie going to put Lily? There wasn't an empty bed in the place. There was nothing left except his closet.
"Dammit to Hell!" Zac exclaimed, suddenly knowing exactly what Dodie intended. "I'll break her neck!"
He crashed through the doors and bulldozed his way through the saloon shouting curses at Dodie every step of the way.
Customers looked up, glanced at their neighbors, shrugged, and went back to their gambling.
* * * * *
"I can't!" Lily protested, drawing back from the door as though it were the doorway to the abyss her father had warned her about so often. "Zac would kill me."
"No, he won't. Besides, it's the only place we've got."
"Where's he going to sleep?"
"Let him sleep in his brother's grand hotel. Believe me, he won't have nightmares because the place looks more like the palace of one of them awful sheiks, sultans, or whatever they call those men who run about wrapped up in a bedsheet and have their wives watched over by men who've had parts I won't mention cut off, than it does a hotel for decent folks."
"But it's not right for me to take his bedroom. I wouldn't get a wink of sleep." She pointed to the bed. "Zac sleeps naked in that bed."
"I don't know why you should care. It's the best bed in the house."
"But it's Zac's bed. I'd be thinking about my body touching the same place his body touched all night long."
"I can't help it if you have naughty dreams," Dodie teased. "Though if you're going to have them, this is a good place for it."
"Dodie! I never!" Lily exclaimed, her face burning hot.
"Then it's about time you did," Dodie said, pushing Lily into the bedroom before her. "A woman who's behaved as well as you deserves a decent dream once in a while."
"Do you have dreams like that?" Lily asked, so curious she forgot her shock. She'd been so ashamed of her one such dream she'd never said a word to anyone. But if Dodie had them, too, they couldn't be all bad.
"I have dreams that would singe your papa's eyebrows," Dodie said.
Lily grinned.
"One of these days, when you've got a little more experience, I'll tell you about them."
"I'm more experienced already," Lily said. "Tell me now." No one had ever offered to explain anything to her about the physical nature of a woman. She wasn't about to let this chance slip away.
They heard the thump of footsteps on the stairs echoing down the hall.
"Later," Dodie said, pushing her across the room until she flopped down on the bed. "Right now we've got to defend your territory."
Lily started to sit up. "But I don't--"
"I do." Dodie pushed her back down just as Zac burst through his bedroom door.
"Get off my bed," he shouted.
Lily tried to stand up. Dodie pushed her back down.
"No."
"That's my bed, Dodie Mitchell. If you want her to have somewhere to sleep, give her yours."
"That's what I was going to do at first, but then I realized it wouldn't work. You can't stay here no matter where she sleeps. So she might as well have your bed. You can sleep in the hotel."
"Why can't I stay here?"
"Because you'll ruin her reputation."
"Don't be absurd. I've always slept here, and this place is full of women."
"Do you want her to have the same reputation we do?"
Zac felt as though he'd been stopped in his tracks by a steam locomotive. He knew immediately he didn't want to do anything to damage Lily's reputation, but neither did he want Dodie and the other girls to think he didn't value their reputations just as much. They were just differen
t, that was all. Only he didn't know how to say that. George was the only one in the family who was good at saying things. The rest of them just waded in and dealt with the consequences later.
"I don't want to do anything to ruin anybody's reputation," Zac said, "but I don't see why that should involve giving up my bed."
"Because you can stay in that hotel without starting speculation. Lily can't. Cora Mae will be leaving at the end of the week. Lily can have her room. Then you can have yours back."
Zac realized that moving to the hotel for a few days would mean he would be able to get a full night's sleep. Lily wasn't likely to go that far to wake him up. At least he didn't think so.
Still, he wasn't satisfied. He didn't like the idea of being away from the saloon all day while Lily was up and doing things that would most likely cause no end of trouble. And he couldn't depend on Dodie to stop her. Dodie wasn't acting like herself these days. She'd always been willing to do anything he wanted. Now she didn't seem to hesitate to go against him at every turn.
"Okay," he said, "she can stay here, but just for the night," he said, turning to Lily. "If I thought his wife wouldn't throw you out, I'd take you to stay with Mr. Thoragood."
Lily was relieved. She had no doubt the Thoragoods would take her in, but she knew Mrs. Thoragood wouldn't be happy about it. Lily had discovered she didn't like not being wanted.
That had never happened to her before. People had always been kind to her, always done things for her. She'd never taken advantage of it -- Papa wouldn't have allowed it -- but she'd come to expect thoughtfulness toward her to be part of life. San Francisco had changed all that. She never would have thought she'd be thankful merely for a bed that wasn't begrudged her.
"I'm sorry," she told Zac. "I never meant for this to happen. I never thought--"
"Don't worry about it. Everything's set for now. You don't have to worry about any of those men bothering you. And that includes Anthony Bellrose. I'll make sure nobody gets by me."
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