"Go see what's keeping her trunk," Dodie said. "I'm going to put her to bed. She's worn out."
Zac looked like he didn't understand how anybody could be ready to go to bed at nine o'clock in the evening, but Lily was tired. She'd had a long, disappointing, and worrisome day. She had to figure out what to do next. She couldn't keep causing Zac so much trouble. It wasn't fair.
"You hungry?" Dodie asked as she closed the door behind Zac.
"No. Bella fed me."
"That's a kindness I didn't expect. Oh well, I guess she's not so terrible, but I just hate it when a woman won't use a little gumption. I could have gotten rid of those men. If nothing else, I could have threatened to hug and kiss every one of them."
"That wouldn't have done any good," Lily said. "You're pretty."
"Where'd they go? Maybe I can catch myself one before they get gone. I could use a good man."
"You'll find one," Lily said, "and not one with nothing better to do than follow me about the streets."
She pulled herself up on the bed and leaned against the mound of pillows. She was so tired she could hardly keep her eyes open. If she was ever going to see anything of Zac and Dodie, she had to stop getting up at five-thirty. There was no point in it. There was nothing to do for hours and hours.
"Sure I will," Dodie said, "but in the meantime I'm going to help you get undressed and in bed before you go to sleep with your clothes on."
"Mama wouldn't like that," Lily said, half asleep already.
"First time I ever heard you mention your ma," Dodie said. "I was beginning to think your pa had done away with her."
"Mama doesn't talk much," Lily said. "She says men don't like women's talk. She says I'm going to have a hard time finding a man to put up with me."
"Well, that's where your mama's wrong. I should think you would have figured that out already."
"Men do like me, don't they?" Lily said smiling sleepily.
"Yes, they do. You're very nice, and you don't go about thinking a lot of yourself."
"Papa says--"
"And you're not to think of another thing your papa says. You'll sleep a lot better for it. You sure the noise downstairs won't bother you?"
"What noise?"
"I guess not. I wish I could drop off like that. I guess it's the sleep of the innocent."
"I wish I weren't so innocent," Lily mumbled. "It's tiresome to go about forever being pure. Don't you agree?"
"Maybe I would if I could remember what it was like," Dodie muttered. "You go to sleep and stop worrying about being pure. That'll change one day. Then you'll have plenty of time to decide which you like better."
* * * * *
"My clothes are inside," Zac said. "You can't expect me to wear the same thing tomorrow."
"She's asleep."
"You should have thought of that before you pushed me out of my room."
"Can't you make do for one night?"
"No," Zac said. The thought of having to put on wrinkled and soiled clothes caused his skin to crawl.
"Then go in through the closet."
"I can't. After you so kindly showed Lily how to sneak in, I had it nailed shut. This is the only way in or out. Now out of my way. I'm going in whether you like it or not."
"I'm not leaving until you come out again."
Zac gave her a sharp look, then smiled. "You don't trust me, do you?"
"Hell, no!"
"Damnation, woman, she's a preacher's daughter. What do you take me for?"
"A man, much like any other. Lily's a beautiful woman. I've seen you--"
"You've never seen me ravage an innocent female," Zac snapped, his irritation turning to something a little warmer.
"No, but you never had one sleeping in your bed. Go on, get your clothes."
"You sure you're not jealous?"
Dodie paused for a moment. "Yeah, some. Part of me wishes I could be like her. Not just her beauty, but her innocence. I couldn't go to sleep in a man's bed in a place like this without locking the door and keeping a loaded shotgun on the pillow beside me. She went right off without a moment's worry. I'm a little jealous of that. How about you?"
"Are you kidding? If I were that innocent, I'd have lost this place months ago. Where would you and the rest of the girls be then?"
"I said it was just a part of me. I know what losing this place would mean to us, but you're rich anyway. You could go home to your family."
"You haven't met my family. I'd rather be on the street than locked up with them. Now stop keeping me chatting away in the hall and let me get my clothes. If I don't get some sleep, I'll be nodding over my cards, and we may end on the street yet, innocent or not."
"I'm coming in with you," Dodie said.
"You going to hold my hand so the spooks won't get me?"
"Not even a spook would want you."
They tiptoed in and through the bedroom to the closet like children trying to sneak in the house without waking their parents. Zac closed the door to the bedroom and lighted a lamp. It didn't take him more than a few minutes to collect the clothes he wanted. Figuring out how to get them into a suitcase without them ending up in a crumpled ball was something else.
"Here, let me pack those things for you," Dodie whispered. "I never did see a man as helpless as you. Wait outside."
But Zac didn't make it to the door. He was still miffed he had had to give up his bed. He didn't begrudge Lily a place to sleep. He just didn't see why it had to be his bed. He walked over to the bed not making any particular effort to be quiet. He didn't know what he wanted to do, pull the covers off, tie her hair in knots, anything to get her back for turning him out of his own room.
It was childish, and he knew it, but it didn't stop him from feeling that way. Nor did it make him feel ashamed. More like regretful. He'd given up long ago expecting himself to be anything like George. He was spoiled, selfish, and determined to have his way in everything. Odd that a poor innocent like Lily should have enough faith in him to put her fate in his hands. He didn't want it, thank you very much. Nonetheless, it seemed he had it, at least as long as she was sleeping in his bed.
He drew closer. She looked so young and innocent. She was too lovely for her own good. Of course he wasn't drawn to her particular type of looks. He preferred a riper kind of beauty, a more sophisticated woman, one who was interested in enjoying herself without making plans for the future. He was like the bee who sampled all the flowers in the garden. He saw no reason to limit himself to one.
Not that he couldn't appreciate her beauty. And her innocence. It had a kind of appeal, even to a jaded man of the world like himself. He supposed every man liked to indulge in the fantasy of finding that one beautiful, guileless woman who could love no one but him, who would adore him, cling to him no matter what, believe in him regardless. It sounded good. For a few moments it made you feel like you were king of the mountain. But there was a down side to such loving adoration, and Zac had long ago decided the disadvantages outweighed the advantages.
Still, maybe it wasn't as bad as he'd imagined. Lily wasn't the clinging kind of female. She certainly wasn't going to wait for a man to do everything for her. Any female who could cross the country by herself had a lot of gumption, more than he'd given her credit for. She might be ignorant now, but he bet she'd know more about San Francisco in six months than most of the people who'd lived here for years.
It was a shame she kept getting fired. He didn't know what she was going to do about a job, but he'd have to figure out something. Maybe she ought to hide her hair under a black hat instead of letting it fall over her shoulders. It was a shame men kept following her around, though hardly surprising.
The covers had slipped a little. Next thing you know they'd be off the bed. He didn't want her to get pneumonia. But as he moved forward, a wave of desire hit him with the impact of a fist. For the first time he looked at Lily as he looked at other women. What he saw threw his body into a state of raging need.
It was a war
m night. An arm and a leg were uncovered. A long, slender leg that tapered from a very shapely ankle to a dimpled knee to a thigh mostly hidden by the sheet. Zac had never seen a limb so white, so perfectly formed. The temptation to caress her thigh, to move the sheet aside, was nearly irresistible.
Zac shifted his attention before his imagination could inflame his body.
Her arm was nearly as enticing. It lay outstretched toward him, palm up, her hand dangling over the edge of the bed, the inside of her arm exposed to his gaze. It looked so soft, so warm, he had to press his hand to his side to keep from touching her.
But it wasn't her arm or leg that sent him over the edge. She wore a thin nightgown. At times the angle of the light made it virtually transparent. Zac could see the side of her breast, the edge of the dusky circle that surrounded her nipple.
The tip of his tongue slowly moistened his dry lips; his body turned rigid with desire. He could almost feel the warm softness of her skin. He could hear the soft moans as he gently teased her breast, as he bathed it in moist heat with his tongue. He could imagine the feel of her nipple as it firmed under his touch.
He realized with a slight shock he hadn't been with a woman since Lily arrived. Her presence had driven all thoughts of other females from his head. But not the need from his body. That was greater than ever.
He groaned. He had to leave before he did something he'd regret. He reached over to pull the blanket up around her.
"What do you think you're doing?" an irate voice demanded.
Zac jumped nearly a foot.
"I told you to wait outside," Dodie said, "not molest the girl in her bed."
"I was just going to pull the covers back over her."
"You men are all alike."
Zac started to protest, then gave up. Dodie wouldn't believe him. Once you got a reputation for liking women, people seemed to think you couldn't pass a female without going crazy. It didn't matter what you said. Black you were and black you'd stay.
Oh well, it didn't matter. Lily would soon be out of his saloon and he could get his bed back.
He turned away. He denied himself the chance to touch her, the right to look at her. He drove all thoughts of pleasure he could find in her arms from his mind. It was madness, it was torture, and he didn't need either one.
"Fix the sheets," he told Dodie. "They're coming off the bed."
Chapter Eleven
Zac had returned to his own bed three days later, but Lily was still in the saloon. Cora Mae had left sooner than expected, and Lily had taken her room. From all Zac could tell, she didn't mean to give it up.
"You've got to let me do something," Lily insisted. "I can't just sit around doing nothing."
They were sitting in Zac's office. He was on his second cup of coffee.
"Helping Dodie isn't nothing," Zac said.
"I don't mean it like that. I sometimes feel I get in her way, that she doesn't need me."
"She's just not used to having help. Give her time. It won't be long before she's shoving so many things your way she'll be sleeping later than I do."
"Did I hear my name being taken in vain?" Dodie said, entering the office.
"I was just trying to convince Lily that helping you is important."
"Of course it is," Dodie agreed, "but she wants to do something else, and I think you ought to let her."
Zac wondered why Dodie enjoyed stabbing him in the back. "What does she want to do, run a roulette table?"
"Some day," Dodie said, "but first she wants to sing."
"No!" The word exploded from Zac like a Chinese firecracker.
"You don't have to shout," Lily said. "We've both got very good hearing."
"No. Never. Absolutely not. Out of the question. I can't believe you would make such a suggestion."
"See, I told you he wouldn't be hard to convince," Dodie said to Lily.
"I don't want to sing a lot of songs," Lily said. "Just one or two."
"No!" Why couldn't she understand it would cheapen her. He kept telling her, but she acted like it was unimportant. If she only knew. For a woman like Lily, it was crucial.
"The girls look like they're having so much fun."
"Your father would turn over in his grave."
"He's not dead."
"Then my father would turn over in his grave. He's probably burned on one side anyway."
"Don't be sacrilegious," Lily said, "and stop making senseless objections."
"You want to sing in a saloon, and you say I'm making senseless objections."
"Yes. You'll be here. What can go wrong?"
"That's right," Dodie chimed in, "tell us what can go wrong?"
It was just like women to gang up on him. "She can lose her reputation," Zac said.
"According to Bella, I don't have one."
"I don't want you up there being stared at by hundreds of men you don't know."
He hadn't admitted it to himself before, but he'd been uneasy ever since he saw those men outside Bella's. He couldn't explain it, but he somehow felt Lily was safe as long as she was his alone. Once he gave her up to everybody else, he couldn't control what happened to her.
He didn't like that feeling.
"I'm stared at by hundreds of men I don't know every time I walk down the street," Lily pointed out.
"You ought to be in bed that time of night."
"I never go to bed before nine o'clock. The first show is over by then."
"Your father would cut my heart out and make a pin cushion of it if he knew."
"He won't. He hasn't even answered my letter."
"You'll endanger your immortal soul."
"Not by singing a few songs."
This argument went on until Zac thought he would go crazy from the constant nagging. "All right, dammit!" he finally shouted two days later. "You can sing!"
Lily and Dodie had tackled him in his room before he'd finished dressing. He'd tried to hold out, but Lily appeared more anxious every time she brought up the subject. She seemed to think it was terribly important. He didn't know what she hoped to prove by it, but he knew it wouldn't work. He'd tried to protect her, but she wouldn't let him.
Okay, she could sing. But she would fail. Maybe then she'd be content to work with Dodie. Maybe she'd even lose her fascination for the saloon and agree to move into the hotel. Tyler and Daisy were willing to take her.
* * * * *
"You may sing only one song," Zac said. He sat at a table in front of the small stage in the empty saloon. Lily was alone on the stage. She looked nervous. "The rest of the girls have got to be on stage with you, and you've got to be in bed fast asleep by nine o'clock."
"But I can't--"
"Don't start with the objections. That's the deal. Take it or leave it."
"Take it for now," Dodie said. "We can talk some sense into him later."
That remark didn't make Zac feel very confident. Neither did the song Lily wanted to sing.
"You can't sing a love song to these people," Zac said. "They want something snappy. What else have you got?"
Lily's fifth choice proved acceptable. It was lively and had amusing lyrics.
"Okay, you stand right at the back of the stage in the middle. We'll put a dozen girls all around you. We'll let them dance a bit, then do a few kicks at the end. That ought to liven things up."
"If you do that, nobody will even know she's on stage," Dodie said.
"Okay, let's run through it the way I outlined it," Zac called out. "That's exactly what I'm after," he said to Dodie while Lily and the girls rehearsed the number. "Then maybe she'll stop wanting to parade about."
"She wants to be useful. She wants you to pay her some attention."
"Damnation, woman, I pay attention to her all the time."
"That's a lot of rot. You sleep all day then run her off to bed before she's had time to settle her dinner good. What do you plan to do about her? She can't spend the rest of her life helping me run this place."
"I don't kno
w," Zac said, his eyes on Lily. Even wearing black and positioned at the back of the stage, standing still while the other girls moved around her, she drew his eye. She was simply too lovely to be outshone.
"She needs a hat to cover up all that hair," Zac said as soon as there was a pause on stage. "It's too bright in all that light. It's liable to blind somebody."
"Why don't you put her in the corner, or behind the curtain," Dodie said.
"I wouldn't have to worry about putting her anywhere if you'd given me a little support," Zac snapped in return.
"It'll never work," Dodie predicted. "People will notice her no matter what you do."
* * * * *
"I shouldn't be doing this," Lily kept repeating as Julie Peterson helped her make the final adjustments to her hat before she went on stage. "Zac didn't want me to. My father thinks it's sinful. It was stupid of me to keep insisting."
"You're going to do fine," Julie assured her. "You've got a nice song, you sing it well, and you're beautiful. That's all that counts."
Julie had ventured out of the kitchen tonight, something she never did when the saloon was open, to help Lily get ready. Lily knew Julie was thankful for the safety and security the saloon offered, but even though Lily had become comfortable with her surroundings, Julie still felt out of place.
"They won't see me with all those other girls up there," Lily said. "I really should have worn a different dress. Nobody will notice me in black."
She felt like a crow among bluebirds. She didn't know why she hadn't thought of it before. But it was too late to change now. Besides, she didn't own anything that wasn't black.
"They'll notice you," Julie said.
Lily wasn't sure she wanted the men to notice. That's where all the trouble started. She had finally admitted to herself she was doing this to attract Zac's attention. But as the time to go on stage time grew closer, she started to question whether she couldn't have found a better way.
But little as it was, singing was her only talent. She could wash his clothes, iron his shirts, or cook his food, but somebody already did those things. She wanted to stand out, to be someone special. She felt ordinary, easily ignored, taken for granted.
She'd never tried to attract a man's attention before. She didn't really know how to go about it. She also had qualms about it being the right thing to do. She knew what her father would say, but this was her first experience of being ignored as a woman. Her father couldn't know anything about that, or he'd know singing in a saloon was only the beginning to what she'd do.
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