Lily

by Greenwood, Leigh

  "He sounds more like a lover by the minute," Dodie said.

  "You shut up!" Zac snapped. "By the way, you're fired. Get your things and be out of here by noon."

  "You can't fire Dodie," Lily protested. "Who's going to run this place while you sleep?"

  Dodie laughed easily, not the sound of a woman fearful of her future.

  "This whole conversation is absurd," Zac said. "I'm not going to marry Lily, and that's that. Besides, you know as well as I do she shouldn't be allowed to marry anybody like me. Her father would probably shoot me."

  "We know you're not worthy of her," Dodie said. "No one will argue that."

  "I will," Lily interjected, but no one heeded her.

  "What would you do about her dilemma?" Mr. Thoragood asked.

  "Take her to Tyler," Zac said. "He and Daisy can handle it from there."

  "Do you plan to tell him what you've done?" Dodie demanded.

  "I haven't done anything," Zac nearly shouted.

  "How do you plan to explain it all to George when he finds out?" Dodie asked.

  "He won't."

  "If Tyler doesn't tell him, I will."

  Tyler would tell him. He probably wouldn't agree to help Lily unless Zac told him the whole story. Tyler was like that. If George thought he'd ruined a young woman, no matter whether he'd actually done anything or not, he'd be furious. Nobody took this Southern chivalry thing more seriously than George, not even Jeff.

  Someone would tell Monty and Hen, they found out everything sooner or later, and they'd come after him. They might shoot him or beat him to a pulp first -- Zac didn't know. He'd never understood the twins -- but he did know they'd bring him to the altar, tied hand and foot if necessary.

  "You can't force Lily to marry this monster," Mrs. Thoragood said. "I'd rather find some decent young man for her."

  "I bet you would," Zac snapped. "And keep her tied to a cold, loveless marriage the rest of her life. Lily is warm and generous and loving. She needs a husband who is as kind and giving as she is. Otherwise, you might as well marry her to that Hezekiah fella."

  "Would you mind marrying Zac?" Dodie asked Lily.

  "That's not what you're supposed to ask," Zac cut in. "You're supposed to ask if she loves me, and you know she doesn't. How could she? I'm not a thing like her."

  Lily blushed charmingly, and Zac cringed inwardly. Few things could be more dangerous than a female who blushed at the wrong time. When they blushed like Lily, you might as well give up and put your head on the chopping block.

  "I like you quite a lot," Lily said. "You're kind and warm and generous. All of the girls here say the same thing. I don't think I'd mind being married to you at all."

  Zac could hear the rattle of the chains, feel the irons being placed around his wrists and ankles.

  "Think of all the things you don't like about me," he pleaded. "I gamble and stay up all night. I cuss. I sleep naked. You told me you hated that."

  "You've seen him in his natural state!" Sarah Thoragood squawked, her face turning beet red.

  Zac cursed his panic. He was putting as many nails in his own coffin as Lily.

  "There're just as many things about you I do like," Lily said. "You've taken care of me from the beginning. You take all these girls in and find them husbands when they get in trouble."

  "Everybody knows Zac's a Good Samaritan when it comes to girls in trouble," Dodie said. "We also know you're the only one who can't see anything but good in him."

  "It sounds to me like they're admirably suited," Mr. Thoragood said. "I'll be happy to perform the ceremony. Shall we say at the church in an hour?"

  Zac heard the iron door slam and the key turn in the lock. He was trapped. There was no escape. No way out. Unless . . . There was one desperate chance. It was a means he'd rather not use, but a drowning man had to grab for any lifeline.

  "Okay, I'll do it," Zac said. "But we'll be married right here in the saloon and by my own man."

  "I don't think--" Mr. Thoragood began.

  "I don't give a damn what you think," Zac snapped. "You've come in here, throwing your weight around, shouting about morals and goodness and ruined females. Okay, I've agreed to what you want, but we'll do it my way. You can stay if you want and make sure the knot is tied to your satisfaction, but once it's done, I want you out of here. And don't ever set foot in my place again, or I'll have you thrown out."

  "I should think your wife will have something to say about that," Mrs. Thoragood said, a smirk on her face.

  "My wife can go where she wants, visit who she pleases, do what she wants, but this saloon is mine," Zac declared, "and what I say goes."

  Both Thoragoods glared at him, but neither was willing to push him any harder.

  "Are you sure you want to do this?" Zac asked Lily. There was a tenderness in his voice that hadn't been there before.

  She nodded.

  "Dodie, take her off and get her ready. You girls can help. The rest of you get out of my bedroom."

  * * * * *

  "It's not too late to change your mind," Dodie said to Lily. "You could find yourself a small town back East and pretend you never heard of Zac Randolph."

  They were alone in Dodie's room. Lily was wearing her best dress, but she found it very difficult to keep her spirits up. That half hour in Zac's room was the most earthshaking of her entire life. Everything had happened too fast, had been too unexpected. She hadn't had time to think properly. She still wasn't sure she was doing the right thing.

  "I want to marry Zac," Lily said. "I have for some time, but I didn't realize he would be so angry at having to marry me."

  She had told herself marrying Zac was the best way to save him. Up until now she hadn't been able to do anything for him. As his wife, things would be different.

  But she wasn't kidding herself. She was in love with Zac. She wanted to marry him for that reason alone. Yet, she wouldn't have agreed to the marriage if she hadn't believed that somewhere deep down in the bottom of that heart he seemed determined to ignore he loved her. At least a little.

  "When you kept smiling, kept telling him his only choice was to marry me, I was sure I was doing the right thing," Lily said. "But he was so angry. It wasn't fair for you to mention George."

  "Sure it was," Dodie said. She was brushing Lily's hair, experimenting with several different ways of coiling it atop her head. "Zac doesn't know what's best for him. He never has. Half the time he doesn't even know what he wants. The other half he's certain he doesn't deserve it. The only way he was going to get married was to trap him into it."

  "I can't do that," Lily said. She jumped so quickly she pulled the blond coil from Dodie's hands before she had secured the end. Dodie pushed Lily back down in the seat and began to coil her hair all over again.

  "Better you than some hussy who doesn't love him."

  Lily twisted around in her chair, but Dodie was ready for her this time. "Yes, every female in the place knows you're head over heels in love with Zac. Every female except you, that is. I know I love Zac, but I'm beginning to wonder if he loves me. I thought he did. Last night, on the boat, I was certain he couldn't kiss me like that, hold me that way, and not love me at least a little. But after this morning, I don't know."

  "Zac Randolph is the most selfish man God ever created. He thinks the world ought to revolve around his wants, but I'm sure he loves you. True, he doesn't know it yet. He thinks he has no right to love anybody like you. He's just as certain a woman like you can't love him."

  "Why? He's such a wonderful person."

  "Zac likes himself very much -- He has to. He's all he thinks about -- but he doesn't admire himself."

  "I don't understand."

  "I'm not sure I do. I just know it's true. He'll do anything to insure his creature comforts, to make certain he gets his way when it comes to the saloon, but he doesn't think he deserves the best of life. He's even talked himself into thinking he doesn't want it."

  "But Zac deserves all the best. Everyb
ody knows that."

  "Not everybody, but I guess it's only important that you do."

  "You do, too."

  "Yes, fool that I am, I think the man is a prince. To be perfectly honest -- and if you ever breathe a word of this I'll deny it and sell you into white slavery -- I'd marry him in a minute if I thought it had even the remotest chance of working out. But Zac has been dead set against marriage from the day I first saw him. He thinks he still is. The moment I knew you loved him, I was determined he would marry you. That's why I helped you with that dance routine. That's why I pushed so hard this morning. You're going to save Zac Randolph from himself."

  Lily smiled broadly. "I decided to do that some time ago."

  But a sliver of doubt remained. Lily had no idea how she was going to save Zac. He didn't seem to be a man who was particularly easy to guide. She could ask Dodie, but she couldn't depend on somebody else for something like this. A relationship between two people who loved each other couldn't involve a third party, no matter how interested.

  She wondered if her innocence, the very quality that had attracted Zac in the first place, would be the reason for her failure.

  She must not fail. She couldn't. Otherwise, she owed it to Zac to declare off now. There were plenty of other women willing to try.

  But Lily couldn't bring herself to give up the chance of having Zac for herself. For days she'd thought of little else. A young girl's fantasy might have brought her to California, but a woman's dreams were born that night she walked in and saw him at the gambling table. She knew right then she'd made the right choice. She just hadn't known what she was going to do about it.

  She did now.

  "It's about time," Dodie said. "And remember, if you need any help, I'll be around."

  "Thank you, but this is something I'm going to have to figure out for myself."

  * * * * *

  "Don't look at me like that, you slimy old reprobate," Zac said to the man who sat at his ease in a wing chair in his office, smoking one of Zac's best cigars and enjoying what was left of a very large glass of brandy. "And don't pretend you haven't done things like this before."

  "Sure. I ain't denying it. But I thought you were a straight shooter, not one who'd pull such a rotten trick on a sweet girl like Lily."

  "What do you know about Lily?" Zac demanded, suddenly wondering if every piece of vermin that crept and crawled about the Barbary Coast knew about Lily.

  "I've heard about her," the Reverend Ambrose Winston Dumbarton III said. "Everybody on the Coast has. Hell, she's been passing out clothes to half the women in the place."

  Damn! Something else she'd been doing when he should have been watching her instead of sleeping. "Well if you know that much about her, you know she's too good for the likes of me. But this damned preacher and his crowd have got me backed into a corner. I've got to marry her, but there's no point in ruining the poor girl's life. If you don't register the marriage, it won't be legal and binding. If everybody keeps their mouth shut, nobody has to even know she's married. Then a few months from now, after things have quieted down and she's had time to realize she made a mistake, she can disappear. She can tell people she was never in California. I'll make sure she has enough money to start life over some place else."

  "And what are planning to do in the meantime?" Windy asked. "Sleep on the sofa?"

  That's exactly what Zac had planned to do, but he could see Windy wouldn't believe him. No one would.

  "I'm taking her to stay with Bella. With that dragon guarding her, everything will work out as long as I stay here. If not, she could always say her husband died. A rich widow has some advantages over an unmarried girl."

  "I'm sure you know all about that," Windy said, "but that's not getting us any forwarder."

  "We don't have to get forwarder," Zac snapped. "I want you to perform a sham marriage so Lily can get out of it whenever she chooses. It's that simple. All you have to do is say yes or no."

  "And if she doesn't?"

  "She will."

  * * * * *

  Lily could hardly believe she was married. Everything had happened so quickly it seemed unreal. As the minutes rolled by, she became less and less certain she'd done the right thing. Zac had been irritable during the wedding ceremony. He'd practically run Mr. Thoragood and his wife out the minute the service was over.

  Now, as their cab rolled toward Bella's rooming house, he sat next to her sunk deep in thought. She didn't want to go back to Bella's. She was more frightened than when she left Salem. At least she had been going toward something then. Now Zac seemed to be putting as much space between them as possible.

  "I still don't understand why I can't stay at the saloon with you," Lily said.

  "It's not a proper place for you," Zac said, his expression unchanged. "It never was."

  "But I don't want to go to Bella's."

  "That's something else. I've let you make too many decisions."

  "It's my life."

  "But you made me responsible for it the minute you left home. If I hadn't been such a lazy, selfish, good-for-nothing slouch, I would have seen that from the first."

  "But you did. You've been looking after me all along."

  "I don't mean that. I mean I should have put you on a train and taken you back to Virginia, kicking and screaming if necessary. I couldn't take my nose out of the cards long enough to see what was happening. I kept pretending things would get better, hoping you would go away. Now look what's happened. You're married to me."

  "Is it so awful?"

  "I don't know, and neither do you. But you're not going to find out from me."

  "What do you mean? You're not going to send me back to Virginia now, are you?"

  "No, it's too late for that, but from now on you're going to stay at Bella's. If you don't like that, we can find you a different rooming house. I'd take you to the hotel, but I don't want to have to deal with Tyler just yet."

  "I still don't see why I shouldn't stay with you. It'll just take longer to get to the saloon."

  "Don't you understand?" Zac said turning on her with anger born of frustration. "You're not to set foot in that saloon, ever again."

  Lily didn't know what to say, but she couldn't let him toss her into a rooming house and close the door and forget her.

  "How am I going to help Dodie?"

  "Dodie's gotten along by herself for years. She'll manage."

  Lily wasn't about to let things stay like that, but she didn't know what she could do about it yet. "What am I supposed to do all day long?"

  "You don't have to do anything."

  "If I don't, I'll go crazy."

  "Maybe you could help Mrs. Thoragood. At least you won't have to cook, clean, or milk cows."

  She looked hopefully for a gleam of humor in his eyes but found none.

  Lily opened her mouth to argue, but closed it again. There was no point. He wasn't listening to her. He'd made up his mind and nothing she could say would make any difference. She didn't understand. He'd never been this close-minded before. It was as if he'd been driven into a corner and was clinging to his only solution.

  But it wasn't a solution for her. She didn't think it was for Zac, either, but she would have to wait until she figured out what to do and until he was willing to listen.

  * * * * *

  "What are you doing back here?" Bella asked. She sounded petulant.

  "I'm bringing Lily to stay with you," Zac said.

  "You can't do that," Bella said. "I don't have men in my house."

  "Lily's staying here," Zac said. "I'm staying at the saloon."

  Lily had been afraid he was going to say something like that, but it was even worse when she heard the words. All during the trip from the saloon she had felt him trying to distance himself from her.

  Bella made no attempt to hide her surprise. "But you just got married."

  "I know that," Zac said, "but it's not right for her to live at the saloon. You and Mrs. Thoragood made that very clear."r />
  "Yes, but--"

  "It'll have to do until I figure something out. In the meantime, don't say anything to anybody. It won't do Lily any good to have tongues wagging."

  "It won't stay quiet for long," Bella said.

  "I'd say that depends on you and Mrs. Thoragood."

  It was a clear challenge.

  "I would appreciate it," Lily said. She didn't think she could bear to have everyone speculating about the relationship between her and Zac. And they would if anyone discovered they were married and not living in the same place, even if that place was a saloon.

  "All right, " Bella said, "but you'd better figure something out in a hurry. Things like this never stay quiet for long."

  "Thanks. I'll leave you to help Lily settle in. I've got to get back to the saloon."

  Lily's hand almost reached out to pull him back. She longed to ask him to stay, but she knew he wouldn't. Maybe it was best to let him go. He'd suffered more of a shock than she had. She wanted to be married. He didn't.

  "I'll come back as soon as I can," Zac promised Lily, "but no matter what, you're not to come near the saloon. Do you understand?"

  Lily nodded.

  "Good. Now don't worry. Things will sort themselves out before you know it."

  * * * * *

  "What did he mean by that?" Bella asked after Zac left.

  Lily had no idea, but she wasn't about to let Bella know that. "Zac has me and the saloon in his life, but he thinks we don't go together. He's got to figure out what to do with us."

  "Be careful he doesn't decide he likes that saloon more than you," Bella warned.

  Lily was afraid of the same thing. She was only now beginning to realize how much she'd hoped Zac would fall in love with her. She'd denied it to herself for so long, she hadn't seen it growing all the time she'd been in San Francisco.

  Then last night and today her blinders had fallen away. She'd not only realized she'd been desperately in love with him, she realized she was looking forward to being his wife. Even after he'd agreed to marry her, she had known it wasn't going to be easy.

  But Zac's decision to leave her in Bella's while he stayed in the saloon tore at the heart of everything. He seemed determined to cut her off, separate her as much from his life as possible. She was tempted to refuse point blank, but the black mood that had descended on him was unfamiliar to her. She'd heard about the Randolph temper. If she made him angry enough, she wouldn't put it past him to put her back on the train yet.