Lily

by Greenwood, Leigh

  "I shouldn't have done that. Lily could do better on her own. With her looks and innocence, she could catch a dozen husbands better than you."

  "Then why didn't you help her?"

  "I couldn't. Who do I know but gamblers and sleezes and scallywags?"

  Zac's eyes narrowed. He felt the cold anger he had learned to avoid. "Watch what you say, Dodie. You may be a favored employee, but I can do without you."

  "Are you threatening to fire me? Gracious, let me see if I'm trembling yet."

  Zac spat out a curse.

  "I can find a dozen jobs in this town, but you'll never find anybody else you can trust to run this place for you so you can go on being the little boy you've been for twenty-six years, avoiding your responsibilities, playing at being the big, important gambler."

  Zac rarely got angry, certainly not with Dodie, but he was coldly angry now. "If you've got something to say, spit it out. Just be aware I may throw you out when you're done."

  Dodie looked him square in the face. "That threat might have scared me into silence a short time ago, but that's when I thought you were a man I could admire. You've stumbled since then, Zac Randolph. You've stumbled badly and you don't even know how to get on your feet again."

  "Stop talking in riddles. Say what you have to say."

  "I wanted you to marry Lily because she loves you. It was a dirty trick to play on such a nice girl, but I have to admit I was thinking of you instead of her. I thought she just might be the one who could make something out of you. Lord knows, I've failed. Instead you've given her over to Bella to take care of while you go on as usual. You don't even go over to see if she's happy, if she needs anything."

  "I told Bella to buy her anything she wanted."

  "I wasn't speaking of money. There are other things in life. I used to think you knew that, but now I wonder. I don't like you, Zac Randolph, and I don't like myself for helping you to do what you're doing to that poor woman. She's your wife. She adores you."

  "Don't you think I know that? Why do you think I'm trying to stay away from her?"

  "Tell me, Zac. I've been wondering about that."

  "I don't want to compromise her."

  Dodie's snort was crude and comprehensive.

  "She'll get tired of being married to me. This way when she wants to leave, she can go, and I won't have taken anything from her." Or from their child he thought.

  "She can't go, you fool. She's married to you."

  Zac was reluctant to tell anyone what he'd done. He was ashamed of it, but Dodie was his friend. It was important she understand. "No, she's not."

  "I saw it. I was there."

  "Windy performed the service, but he didn't register the marriage. She's still legally unmarried."

  For a couple of seconds Dodie gaped at him in stunned silence. Then she exploded in fury. "Why you selfish, egotistical, stupid son-of-a-bitch!"

  Dodie slapped him as hard as she could. Zac grabbed her hand in an iron grip.

  "Go ahead, break it," she said through clenched teeth. "It may make you feel better, but it won't change what you are."

  Zac let go.

  Dodie stepped back massaging her wrist. "I'm quitting, as of right now. I'll clear out my things and be gone by tomorrow. I don't want to work for you any longer, but I will say one last thing. If there is any decency in you at all, you'll go to that woman on your hands and knees, beg her forgiveness for what you've done, and try your damnedest to be the best husband you can be. If you don't, you're no better than people think you are."

  Dodie turned and stalked out, leaving a stunned Zac in her wake. The entire quarrel was unexpected. The outcome was appalling. Dodie was his best friend in the world. He could hardly believe she would say such things about him. But to quit, to turn her back and walk out on him, it was incomprehensible.

  He had thought she of all people would understand. That's the only reason he told her. His family wouldn't. They'd tell him he had to do exactly what Dodie said. But he had thought Dodie would understand he couldn't.

  He wanted to, but he couldn't.

  * * * * *

  Zac couldn't sleep. It was nearly noon, and he hadn't slept a wink. He'd had a perfectly miserable night. Without Dodie, nothing had gone right. It was enough to make him wonder how he'd survived before he found her.

  He had never wanted Dodie to leave. He hadn't even meant to threaten her. If she just hadn't started in on him about Lily. That was the one thing he couldn't stand. He missed Dodie. He'd come to think of her as part of his world. She was always there.

  He missed Lily even more, and she was responsible for his world falling apart. He kept telling himself bringing her to the saloon would only make things worse. Still, the idea wouldn't leave his mind. He knew she wanted to be with him. Just the thought of sharing his bed with her made his body stiff with desire. He was sweating, and it wasn't even hot.

  Dodie had been wrong about him. True, in years past he'd been everything she said. But he was determined he wouldn't ruin Lily. He didn't expect to be understood. He didn't expect to be thanked. But he would know he'd done something decent for somebody besides himself.

  He ought to feel good. For years Rose had told him doing things for others would give him a sense of satisfaction, pleasure, even joy. Well, he must have done something wrong because he felt rotten.

  He punched his pillow, arranged his body so his hardness didn't make him so acutely uncomfortable, and tried to go to sleep.

  He was going to have to hire someone to replace Dodie. He couldn't stay up all night and be up half the day making sure everything was ready for opening. He thought immediately of Lily. She'd been helping Dodie. He told himself to put her out of his mind. He must avoid having Lily become an integral part of the saloon at all costs. If that ever happened, his resolution would fade away like it never was.

  * * * * *

  Lily stood on the boardwalk, trying to decide the best way to get inside the saloon. She knew Zac had ordered the doors locked against her. She'd already tried them to no avail, but she was determined to get in.

  She was feeling in a rather melancholy mood. She'd spent the last hour with Kitty and her baby. Kitty was still searching for the baby's father, but she was less hopeful with each passing day.

  "They've shanghaied him," she kept saying. "I just know they have."

  Lily found it hard to believe men could be kidnaped off the streets or from bars and whisked off to ships headed for distant ports. It hardly seemed such a thing would be allowed in the United States.

  While she was mulling this over, she saw Dodie emerge from an alley. Coming out of her abstraction, Lily waved and hurried to catch up. "Just what I was looking for, an unlocked door," Lily said before she noticed Dodie carried a suitcase. "Is something wrong?" Lily could tell Dodie had been crying.

  "You might as well know I've quit the saloon."

  "Why? What happened? Does Zac know?"

  "Of course the big idiot knows. It's all his fault, just like everything else. He threatened to throw me out if I said something he didn't want to hear. So I said it anyway and quit."

  "Did it have anything to do with me?"

  Dodie took a big breath. "You might as well know I told him he was a fool to stick you off with Bella and never go near you. He thinks you'll get over him and go off and marry someone else."

  "I won't."

  "I know that. Everybody else knows that. Even the door posts know it, but not idiot Zac."

  "He's not an idiot."

  "He is where you're concerned. He's just as much in love with you and doesn't even know it."

  "He doesn't want to be in love."

  "You know that, and you still married him?"

  "What else could I do? I couldn't help him married to some proper stuffed shirt living miles away."

  "You can't help him from Bella's either."

  "But I don't intend to stay there."

  "What are you going to do?"

  Lily told her. Dodie's
eyes grew bright with merriment.

  "I wish I could see it."

  "Why don't you come back? You know Zac didn't want you to leave."

  "It's time. I've been kidding myself for years. I'm not over him. I won't be as long as I keep seeing his handsome face every evening, smiling at me like the world's his oyster and he's going to share it with me. Maybe for five minutes."

  "I'm going to miss you."

  "I'll miss you, too, but I'll be pulling for you. Give him the devil."

  "I'll be trying to get rid of it instead. He's got too much of that already." They both laughed "Now tell me how to get inside without anyone knowing."

  * * * * *

  Zac awoke late with a throbbing headache. He looked at the clock and started cussing Dodie for not waking him. Then he remembered Dodie had quit, and he cussed that much harder.

  As he hurried to the bathroom and started his preparations, he wondered why she'd gotten so angry with him. He was terribly angry at the time, but she ought to have known he'd get over it. He always did.

  He paused to listen. Things seemed to be going okay downstairs. From the noise, there seemed to be a bigger crowd than usual. Good, he could use it to make up for some of his losses.

  But he became uneasy as time went by. The buzz of activity seemed to be steady, not subject to wild bursts followed by moments of relative quiet. It sounded as though everybody was deeply engrossed in their games. It was too early for the men to get really rowdy, but things were never quiet for long in a saloon. He hurried to get dressed and get downstairs.

  He knew something was wrong when the first girl to see him blanched under her grease paint and made a point of getting out of his way. A quick glance around showed nothing unusual. He had just started forward when he saw her.

  Dodie was back. He was surprised how relieved he felt. She was all the way across the room with her back to him, talking to some customers. They were huddled around her like cows at a desert water hole.

  She was dressed differently. She was wearing something red and very tight. It must have taken a cast iron girdle to get Dodie in that dress. She'd done her hair differently, too. It was up on her head with a couple of long red feathers stuck in it. She was even wearing long, red gloves.

  It was an unusual getup for Dodie, but maybe she was still mad at him and wanted to show him he couldn't get along without her. Okay, he'd play along. He'd just wait for her to come over. Zac had hardly leaned his lanky frame against the bar when Dodie turned to great another customer who'd just entered.

  It wasn't Dodie.

  An uneasy tremor ran through Zac. Then it turned to an electric shock that burned a path all through his body. That outrageous female was Lily.

  He started for her with what he knew was a thunderous expression on his face. It sent people scurrying out of his path.

  * * * * *

  From the moment she decided what to do, Lily had known this moment was going to come. She had thought she was prepared for it. One look at Zac's face, and she knew she wasn't. Well, she wasn't going to face his canon fire alone.

  "I want you to meet my husband," she said to the two men who'd just come in. "He seems to be a little out of sorts with me. I guess I forgot to wake him on time."

  She hooked a man on each arm and started forward.

  "No man in his right mind could be mad at you," the taller man said. "I'm surprised he could get any sleep at all."

  Lily decided it was a good thing Zac was too far way to hear that remark.

  "I see you've finally gotten up, my dear," she said before Zac could speak. "Mr. Hawkins and Mr. White are new to town. This is my husband, Zac Randolph."

  Lily had intended to make her escape while Zac exchanged greetings with the two men, but he reached out and grabbed her wrist before she could move out of reach.

  "You're going to have to excuse me, gentlemen. My wife and I have a few things we need to talk about right away."

  "Sure," the tall man said with a wink. "Take as long as you like."

  Lily wished Mr. White hadn't winked. That only made Zac madder. He practically dragged her into his office at a run.

  "What do you mean turning up her, looking like a strumpet, acting like you were brought up in a saloon?"

  "I was just trying to help my husband with his business," Lily answered. But it was not her usual, mild response. She was almost as mad as Zac. "Of course it's hard to remember he is my husband. I have to come here ever so often to remember what he looks like."

  "Don't get smart with me, Lily Sterling."

  "My name in Lily Randolph, or don't you want to remember that."

  "I can't forget it. You're driving me crazy."

  Lily was of two minds as to whether that statement represented progress or not.

  "What do you mean painting your face? You want those men to take you for a saloon girl. Come here and let me wipe it off."

  No, not any progress yet. He took out his handkerchief, but Lily darted behind his desk.

  "I didn't paint my face. I just used a little color on my lips and something to outline my eyes and lashes. I need some color in my face, or I become invisible in all this light."

  "If Bella talked you into this, I'll throttle her."

  "I did it myself. Now stop shouting at me and try to talk sensibly."

  "How can I when you go about behaving in a manner calculated to drive me out of my mind?"

  He made a grab for her, but she jerked her arms out of his reach.

  "Do you like the way I look? I tried very hard to decide what you would like."

  "Let me get my hands on you, and I'll rip off every last thread. I ought to beat you and lock you in your room."

  "Stop threatening me. You dare beat me, and I'll write every one of your brothers before the night's out."

  "I'll rip the letters up."

  "Then I'll go straight to the hotel and tell Daisy. She just might be able to handle you herself."

  "I knew Daisy when she had singed hair and a scar down the middle of her head, so don't think you're going to sic her on me."

  He came at Lily across the top of a chair. She uttered a tiny scream and fled, but he caught her.

  "Now, we're going to talk."

  "No, you're going to yell at me and pretend you've been saying something intelligent."

  "I'm not yelling. I'm just trying to get your attention. You never seem to hear anything I say. Stop that."

  Huge tears had welled up in each of her eyes.

  "I'm not hurting you."

  "You're scaring me."

  "You've never been afraid of anything in your life."

  Tears rolled down each cheek, leaving trails of moisture. Her eyes glistened with more tears.

  "Oh, dammit to Hell!" he cursed, letting go of her wrist. "I can't stand it when women cry. Even when they're not crying. Here, wipe your eyes and be careful not to smear that black stuff all over your face. You'll look like an urchin coming out of a coal bin."

  "Remind me never to come to you for sympathy," Lily said.

  "When you've got reason for real tears, you might get it."

  "How do you know they're not real?"

  "I've got two nieces who're twice as good at that as you. Besides, you're dealing with a master at deceiving people."

  "Okay, let's talk," Lily said, carefully dabbing her eyes. "I might as well begin. It'll save a lot of time."

  "I ought to go first. I'm bigger and stronger and meaner than you. I can lock you in a room upstairs any time I want, and no one will dare let you out."

  "I know that."

  "I can put you on a train and force you to go back to Virginia."

  "I know that, too."

  "I can bury you on a ranch in the country, hire bodyguards to make sure you never set foot in San Francisco."

  "Then why don't you do it?"

  She had him there. Zac knew it, and he knew she knew it. That had been the nub of his trouble all along. From the very first, he'd never been able to fo
rce her to do anything against her will. He might as well have been made of jelly. He was as bad as his brothers, and all because she was named after a flower. If he could change her name to Priscilla, maybe he'd have a chance.

  "You know you won't do any of those things," Lily said. "You try to deny it, but you like to have me around, which is the way it should be since I'm your wife."

  "I don't want you here."

  "I won't come to any harm as long as you're here."

  "That's not what I mean."

  "I know what you mean, and I don't care. If I could fall in love with a gambler, do you think I mind being known as a gambler's wife?"

  "You don't love me. You just think--"

  "Don't tell me that I think," Lily snapped, her eyes blazing. "Now that Dodie's gone, you need someone to help you. I can do most of her work. You can teach me the rest. That way you can go back to your old schedule."

  "And you will go to bed when I say?"

  "When is that?"

  "Eight o'clock."

  "Eleven."

  "Eight."

  "Could you go to sleep that early?"

  "No."

  "Neither can I. If I'm going to be up, I might as well be doing something useful."

  "Okay, but you leave the saloon at nine."

  "It's nearly nine already. Make it ten. I think it would be best if you went around with me to make certain everyone knows I'm your wife now. It will make things go more smoothly."

  She had backed him into a corner again. If he acknowledged she was his wife, she would have the run of the place. She could do as she damned well pleased, especially since he wouldn't be awake to prevent it.

  But if he didn't acknowledge her, she'd come anyway. She'd already shown him her innocent appearance was just a cover for the most stubborn will he'd ever encountered. He guessed he was stupid not to have realized from the very beginning that any woman willing to travel across the country by herself, unsure of where she was going or of her reception when she got there, wasn't going to balk at entering a saloon.

  He did have a couple of options. He could take her back to Virginia and let her father keep an eye on her. But that wasn't any good. She'd already gotten away from him, and supposedly her brothers and Hezekiah had been helping. That made them a pretty useless bunch at Lily watching.