NOT SO Special: a bay falls high novel

by Kidman, Jaxson

  He knows his name…?

  Ash shook the can of spray paint and took off the cap.

  That’s when Gray got out of his car.

  I took a page from Ash’s book and ran toward the door and kicked it, slamming the door against Gray’s body.

  The door hit him hard enough that he screamed and fell to the ground.

  I gasped.

  “Belle!” Sarah cried out.

  I turned and she was running to help Gray.

  I simply stuck my foot out and watched Sarah go for a ride.

  She didn’t fall gracefully either.

  It was like a two hundred pound rock just slamming to the ground.

  “Oops,” I said.

  Sarah did manage to put her hands out, which saved her face from meeting the pavement.

  She rolled to her back and looked at me, tears in her eyes.

  I heard the kksshhh sound of the spray paint behind me.

  “Fuck you,” I said to her. “Enjoy whatever you have here.”

  “It’s not what you think,” she said.

  Gray climbed to his feet just as Ash finished.

  He jumped off the hood of the car.

  When I looked back and saw the V, I laughed.

  “Give me the can,” I said to Ash.

  He didn’t argue.

  Now it was my turn to climb onto the hood of the car.

  I made another V so it looked like a W.

  I threw the can of spray paint against the windshield wishing it would break the glass, but it didn’t.

  Ash put his hand out to help me off the hood of the car.

  “W,” I said. “Fits perfect. You can figure out why.”

  While still holding Ash’s hand, we walked to his truck together.

  Our hands had to then break apart so I could get into my seat and he could get into his.

  Ash peeled out of the shitty parking lot.

  He cut the wheel to the left and sped down a side street.

  Then he turned again, down an old driveway that we used to walk when we ditched class. The house on the right had been abandoned for as long as I had lived in the town. The house on the left had an elderly lady - Mrs. Smith - who never left the house other than to shuffle her way to get the mail.

  Ash parked the truck.

  We were hidden.

  We turned to face each other.

  Belle… no… don’t… Belle… BELLE!

  I dove toward Ash.

  His hands grabbed my sides as our lips collided with a furious passion.

  He sat me down in the seat and his left hand grabbed the bottom of my shirt.

  I broke the kiss to look down, watching how fast and smooth his fingers worked to unbutton my jean shorts.

  I let out a shuddering gasp as Ash nudged his nose to lift my gaze so he could kiss me again.

  We kissed as his fingertips flirted with my body.

  I slowly put my hands to the seat and felt him moving down, inching closer to… me.

  When he touched me, I gasped, our kiss froze, all of time froze.

  My heart slammed inside my chest.

  I counted the seconds.

  One… two… three…

  Ash curled his fingers against my body.

  He moved his lips to my neck.

  And I shut my eyes to lose myself in all of this fucking madness.

  And because I didn’t want to watch Mrs. Smith go and get her mail.

  * * *

  My body refused to stop shivering.

  It was warm outside yet I couldn’t control myself.

  My toes moved in my socks so many times I figured there were going to be holes in them when I got home. I bit my lip so hard a few times, my eyes filled with tears. I tried to play with my own hair but ended up pulling it and hurting myself.

  I hated Ash even more now.

  The fact that he was bold enough to just go for it… and how badly I needed it… and now I was completely flustered, wanting to tell myself it was a one-time thing, yet in reality I wanted even more of him.

  The silence didn’t help much either.

  Which was just another part of Ash’s crazy hotness.

  I wasn’t even sure where we were or where we were going when Ash came to a stop in the middle of the road again.

  Right near a bend in the road, which was really dangerous and stupid.

  When the truck stopped, I felt butterflies in my stomach and almost started to jump in my seat.

  He’s going to do it again! He’s going to make a move again! This time we HAVE to go into the backseat, right?

  Heat filled my cheeks.

  Was I really this…

  “This is what you wanted to see all along, angel,” he said.

  “What?” I asked. “Where are we?”

  Ash didn’t turn to look at me. He just stared straight ahead. His hands on the wheel like he was still driving.

  Something changed inside him. And outside too.

  The way his jawline tightened… sexy, yes… but it was also deadly.

  Even how he gripped the steering wheel. So tight that even through the brightly colored tattoos on his arms, I could see the muscles in his forearms flexing.

  “Ash…”

  “It’s where it happened, Belle,” he said to me.

  I slowly looked left to right, wondering what he meant by that.

  Unless he meant…

  I inched closer to Ash.

  My right hand shook with tremors as I reached for his right hand. I gently placed my hand to his and that’s when he finally looked at me.

  “This is the spot?” I whispered.

  Ash nodded.

  “Why? I don’t get this, Ash. Why now? After what you did to me…”

  “Use it for your writing, angel,” Ash said. “My gift to you.”

  Ash put the truck into drive and I sank my nails into his wrist.

  “No,” I said. “You don’t get to do that to me. Put this on me.”

  “No?”

  “Not a fucking chance, Ash.” I licked my lips. I tried to block the images of him touching me… “Why did you do this today? And how the hell do you know Gray?”

  Ash turned his head and looked out the window.

  “You always want the ending,” Ash said. “And don’t say that everyone does, angel. Because not everyone does. Sometimes some of us see the ending. And maybe it’s better to not go chasing it so hard. You wanted to see the ending, and here it is. There’s nothing else to say about it. Breathe it in, Belle. Because to every single person who drives around this bend, it’s just a piece of the road. It’s just a part of their destination.”

  I slid my hand from Ash’s wrist. “Wow. That’s powerful. Are you sure you never wrote songs with Uly and Hil?”

  Ash laughed. “They always liked to write and sing about what was right in front of them. Which worked.”

  “Ah, right,” I said. “And you’re secretly the brooding artist, huh? You see everything abstract. Metaphorical. The sky isn’t blue. It’s just that every other color that exists in the sky is busy at the moment when you look.”

  Ash slowly looked at me again. “You’re going to be so important to so many people, angel. I hope you realize that.”

  “Oh yeah?”

  “As far as I go… I like the ink.”

  “I can see that.”

  Ash started to drive.

  I carefully studied him.

  Watching how many times his eyes looked to the mirror.

  Looking to the spot where his mother lost her life. Trying to visualize the accident. His mother doing everything to make sure he got out of the SUV safely before it fell…

  My heart sank.

  “As far as Grayson goes,” Ash said, “it’s not as complicated as you think. He’s a wannabe punk. A piece of shit that likes to run his mouth but can never back it up. Always dropping by the tattoo shop to talk a big game but never gets in a chair for some ink. Always hanging around guys that are older than him.”r />
  “And that means he talked about me?”

  Ash grinned. “It means I know what I know, angel.”

  “The day he put that V on my locker…”

  “I heard about it,” Ash said. “Didn’t make much sense to do that to someone without a good story behind it.”

  My face turned red. “He told you a story?”

  “You told me the story, Belle,” Ash said. “You write. I read. And slowly it makes sense.”

  I swallowed hard. “What makes sense?”

  “Innocence is overrated,” Ash said. “The truth of yourself is better. You don’t need to be special or beautiful.”

  “Wow. Thanks.”

  “Listen to what I’m saying, angel,” Ash said. “You don’t need to be anything. But you are.”

  “I am…”

  “You are special. You are beautiful. But if you need someone to tell you that, then you really do belong here. Because that’s what all the others want.”

  Ash had us back at BFH.

  Sitting in the other parking lot, where my car was parked.

  I studied his face.

  Thinking about what Lizzy and Danica wanted me to do.

  What else was there…

  The look in his eyes though.

  The way all of Them cornered me and demanded I make a decision. How every piece of truth came with an extra story. And how that story always seemed to have a part missing.

  I started to lean toward Ash…

  You’re going to kiss him? Why? You like him? You love him? Was this a date? It was…

  There was a knock on the driver’s side window.

  I jumped back.

  Principal Werthwood stood at Ash’s truck.

  Well, he stood up on the truck.

  On the running boards so he could reach the window.

  Ash put the window down, not a care in the world.

  “Do I need to say anything here?” Principal Werthwood asked.

  “Just getting lunch,” Ash said.

  Principal Werthwood looked at me.

  I patted my stomach and licked my lips.

  Ohmygod, Belle, what the fuck was that for?

  “It was a great lunch, Werthwood,” Ash said.

  Color left my face.

  “Park this thing and do something good today,” Principal Werthwood said.

  I opened the truck door and started to climb out.

  That’s when Ash said, “Get the fuck off my truck or else you’re going for a ride, Werthwood.”

  I gasped and hit the pavement.

  I shut the door and Ash drove away.

  When the truck moved, I saw Principal Werthwood standing, safe, and staring at me.

  “It wasn’t… he helped…”

  Why am I justifying anything to this guy? He followed me without his headlights on, remember? He’s a creep.

  Principal Werthwood slowly nodded. “I really hope you know what you’re doing here, Belle.”

  Belle? Again with the Belle?

  Principal Werthwood turned and walked back to BFH.

  That’s where I needed to go.

  But not before I had a cigarette so I could try and calm my nerves.

  five

  I sat outside under a warm sun, my feet in the crystal-clear pool water, a breeze so soft that it just gently moved the corner of the page of my notebook every few seconds. The perfect kind of breeze. There, but not too invasive to get in my way.

  My ten pages for Miss Whitaker was becoming much more than that. Which was good because I’d rather give her more and let her choose what works and what doesn’t. The old stuff in my notebook was going to stay in the notebook. There was no way I was handing her my writing about my… about other things… and having that read by other people and then published.

  Published.

  That word made me feel flustered.

  I put my head back and shut my eyes.

  I sucked in a deep breath and let the sun crawl across my face.

  For some reason I was stuck on something Ash said. About Uly and Hil and the way they wrote lyrics. That they just wrote what they saw. What was right around them or what was happening.

  I wanted to hear more of their music.

  I wanted the history of the band.

  And… Penelope…

  the girl who’s called mystery

  her lips are embers

  the fire

  she can set

  even invisible

  the ashes glow

  I looked down at my notebook.

  The corner was scribbled all in black ink, which was the most I had gotten done since sitting out there.

  There were a lot of words in my head but nothing felt worth writing.

  Which meant I was nothing short of a hypocrite.

  I had the nerve to tell Miss Whitaker to never throw anything out, yet I was basically doing the same thing. Maybe not writing and tossing it, but thinking and not writing it was just as dumb.

  I put the pen to paper and kicked my feet in the warm pool water.

  she’s the most beautiful girl

  i’ve ever seen

  sitting on a park bench

  the sun sneaks through the branches of the trees

  to touch her face

  and i ask her

  how can she break two hearts at once

  and she looks and smiles and says

  i have two hands

  duh

  That made me cringe.

  That made me cringe so hard I shut the notebook and tossed it aside.

  I then slid forward and went into the pool.

  I wasn’t wearing a bathing suit, but whatever.

  My shorts covered what I needed to be covered.

  And my top… well… it was just me.

  I grabbed my phone and carefully swam my way into the cove.

  It was probably the coolest part of the entire house.

  Maybe not.

  But still, it was kind of badass to have a cove to hang out in.

  The sound of the water rushing from the top down to the pool.

  The echoing calmness around me.

  Which didn’t make sense, but that’s how it all felt.

  Listening to music. Changing the lights.

  I sat with the top half of my body out of the water and looked at my phone.

  Lizzy and Danica were still kind of cold toward me. Pissed that I went with Ash.

  They really wanted me to break into Principal Werthwood’s office and dig up the dirt on Them. I was pretty sure I was going to do it. It was just a matter of when. Not to mention there was something way off about Principal Werthwood.

  I wanted to get everything written for Miss Whitaker.

  Then I’d handle everything else.

  My phone buzzed in my hands with a text.

  Uly.

  I bit my lip.

  Did you disappear, doll?

  I tilted my head.

  Maybe I did. I’m a magician. Poof

  I looked forward at the water dropping from the outside top of the cove down to the pool.

  Uly replied.

  Oh you have magic powers, Belle. That I believe.

  I grinned.

  How so?

  Flirting? Really? These guys want you to choose one of Them. And not for any good reason at all. And you’re going to flirt…

  “Fuck yeah, I am,” I whispered to myself. “Oh well.”

  You make things appear, doll. You fuck everything up.

  I shook my head.

  How romantic. Is this Uly or Hil?

  I knew that would piss him off a little.

  Don’t ever say that again, Belle.

  I bit my lip and replied.

  What are you going to do, Uly?

  As I shut my eyes, he wrote back.

  This felt as fun as it did wrong.

  You don’t want to know.

  Then another text came through.

  How can I get you to reappear, Belle?

&nb
sp; I laughed and shook my head.

  I had no idea what he was talking about.

  Disappear? Reappear?

  Then an idea came to me.

  Send me a song, Uly. One of your songs. That would make me reappear.

  That was a bold thing to text. But if we were being flirty and bold, why not?

  I half expected him to not reply.

  And after a few minutes, I really figured I had chased him away for good.

  But then a text came through.

  A link.

  And all I had to do was touch the screen and…

  I gasped when I heard the guitars.

  Two guitars randomly strumming chords.

  “We have this one ready?”

  Hil’s voice.

  “We’re good, man, just run it through,” Uly said.

  My body warmed up.

  Way too much and way too fast.

  They both synced up together and started to play a real song.

  The two guitars playing the exact same thing.

  Then someone started playing another part.

  It made me smile.

  The two guitars were working against each other, yet together.

  It was so Uly and Hil…

  Then came the words.

  “Tripping on stars, on purpose, my hands reaching for you. Let the lights shine on us, but leave them all for you…”

  That was Hil.

  Then came Uly.

  “Shit, girl, what are you trying to prove with this? You’re throwing words at the wall of my heart, but every single one is a miss…”

  And then they both started singing together.

  But different lyrics.

  Again, working against each other but together.

  “… I never thought I’d do this…”

  “… where the fuck did it all go so wrong…”

  “… I can’t breathe in your air, or be there too…”

  “… you can push me all you want…”

  Uly kept singing and Hil started to scream.

  But not a bad scream. Not a scary scream. Not a… it was a singing scream. A scream that made the song work.

  So powerful that I felt my heart jumping into my throat and racing at the same time.

  And just like that, the song cut out.

  I looked at my phone. “No…”

  But that was all Uly sent me.

  Done yet?

  He knew right when to text me too.

  I swallowed hard.

  Not bad. Wish I had more.

  He didn’t waste a second to reply.