NOT SO Special: a bay falls high novel

by Kidman, Jaxson

  “Hil,” Ash growled.

  Hil showed his hands. “I’m done then.”

  “You’ll be okay, doll,” Uly said to me.

  “And I just talk to her? Do what? Ask questions?”

  “Whatever you want,” Uly said. “Just be you. Make it known that you’re part of Them. Make it known Them is doing just fucking fine. They, the Rulz, want to strike thinking we’re at war within ourselves.”

  “Yet you’re all part of BFH,” I said.

  “It’s old shit, angel,” Ash said. “Fights that have been going on for a long time. Down there it’s all the business people. The rich fucks that make shady deals.”

  “Up here it’s all the lawyers and doctors,” Hil said. “And everyone hates each other.”

  “Why’s it your business?” I asked.

  “It just is,” Uly said.

  “We aren’t losing our power up here,” Hil said. “That’s what they want. The Rulz want to have control over all of BFH.”

  “It’s been quiet though,” I said. “And if Uly…”

  “They’re distracted by love,” Ash said.

  “First they all wanted a piece of Tinsley,” Hil said. “Then they found what they really wanted.”

  “I kicked around some dusty bones, doll,” Uly said. “For good reason.”

  I shook my head. “So I talk to Tinsley and that’s that?”

  “That’s that,” Hil said.

  “I don’t like any of this,” I said. “It feels weird.”

  “It is weird, angel,” Ash said. “But it’s how we do it. This fight never ends. But I am not giving up an inch here. Fuck the Rulz.”

  This was deeper than what they were telling me.

  I sat there, smoking, knowing in a way I had all the power.

  What if I didn’t go talk to Tinsley? What would they do then?

  I started to grin when I felt Hil’s eyes locked on me tighter than before.

  “Mind you, beauty,” Hil said. “If you don’t do this, this fight, this war, will explode. If you don’t go, we will.”

  “No pressure, doll,” Uly said.

  “Yeah, right,” I said. “Fuck you all then.” I stood up. “I’ll go talk to this bitch. Whatever. I don’t care. It’s not my fight. I’m homeless anyway.”

  “Homeless?” Uly asked.

  “Long story,” Ash said.

  “Whoa, since when do you get the story first?” Hil asked. He touched his chest. “I thought we had something, Belle.”

  I groaned. “I got into an argument with Jo. I overstepped my boundaries with her. She told me to leave.”

  “And that’s how you ended up here,” Uly said.

  He sounded relieved.

  Does that mean he likes me? Or loves me? Or wants me?

  Confusion threatened to creep up into my chest.

  I dropped my cigarette in the same coffee cup Hil had put his into.

  “I’m going to get dressed,” I said. “Unless you think me showing up half naked would help.”

  “Can’t hurt,” Hil said.

  “Get dressed, angel,” Ash said.

  I walked to the doorway and paused.

  I looked back at Them.

  “I want a song and I want the story,” I said.

  “Excuse me, doll?” Uly asked.

  “You know what I mean,” I said. “I want Uly and Hil to play a song. And I want to know the story of Penelope.”

  “Done, beauty,” Hil said.

  “Fuck yourself,” Uly snapped at Hil.

  Ash was quiet.

  He didn’t have a say in this one.

  Ash had already opened himself up to me. His secrets and truths. His story. His notebook of drawings. His ability to cook me pancakes.

  But I did sense jealousy in Ash’s eyes.

  Good.

  He deserved it.

  Fuck, everyone deserved whatever they got at this point.

  Including me.

  * * *

  I stood in the bathroom and got dressed and fought with my hair. I really wanted a shower but that wasn’t possible now. As tempting at the cozy shower looked, I did not need that anxiety. Standing there, nothing on, rushing water, two doors that could be opened at any second… three of Them…

  As I let out a sigh, I gave up on my hair and went with the on purpose messy bun look.

  That was the end of Belle trying to make herself look pretty.

  Which was never my thing anyway.

  I really didn’t have the time or care about it.

  I wasn’t like… say… Sarah.

  Fucking Sarah.

  Fucking bitch.

  I ripped open the bathroom door and screamed when I saw someone standing at the bed.

  Uly had a tight grip on the sheets.

  He turned and looked at me, nodding.

  “Uly…”

  “Remember that first moment, doll,” he said. “And all the others before it.”

  “I… with that… I needed to get out of Jo’s house…”

  “So you regret it,” Uly said. “Let me go get Ash so you can tell him.”

  “Wait,” I yelled. “Don’t. No. I don’t…”

  Uly opened his hand and dropped the sheets to the bed.

  The door opened and Hil came strutting in. “Fucking hell… that’s a big ass bed.”

  Without saying anything else, Hil ran and jumped on the bed.

  He bounced twice and was then on his back, staring at the ceiling.

  “Hey, beauty, is this what you saw all night?” he asked with a laugh.

  I gasped.

  Crude. Asshole.

  “Are you jealous Ash has a bigger bed than you?” I asked.

  Hil sat up. He smiled. “First off, I don’t need a big bed. I love to cuddle. Second, guys with big beds are just worried about something else being too small.”

  My face burned because I could have easily killed that statement… I had the proof in my memories…

  “Are we leaving now or what?” I asked.

  “We?” Uly asked.

  “There is no we, beauty,” Hil said.

  “What?”

  “You’re on your own,” Ash said from the doorway. “And why the fuck are you two in my bedroom?”

  “Just taking notes so I could update my place,” Hil said.

  “After it’s scrubbed for diseases?” Ash asked.

  “Everyone secretly likes it dirty,” Hil said.

  Uly was the only one staring at me right then.

  I had a twisting feeling in my heart.

  Like I let him down. Like I hurt him. Like I cheated on him.

  Which was crazy to think.

  I didn’t do any of that.

  I didn’t do anything wrong.

  “I’m going alone?” I asked.

  “Alone, doll,” Uly said. “You’ll be fine. I swear on it.”

  I looked around the bedroom.

  It was kind of sexy and kind of uncomfortable.

  “The song and the story,” I said to Uly.

  “The song and the story,” he said.

  “Let’s go,” Ash said.

  He disappeared.

  Hil chose the most obnoxious way to get out of the bed. Jumping, throwing the sheets around, purposely wrapping the heavy blanket around him, then walking on it as he left it behind him.

  Just to be a dick.

  Knowing the smell of his leather jacket and smoke would stain the blanket and piss off Ash later.

  He left the bedroom.

  Now it was just Uly and I.

  He turned and walked to the door and I ran after him.

  I grabbed his hand and squeezed. “Uly…”

  He looked back at me. “What’s up, doll?”

  “Is this what she did too?” I whispered. “Did I hurt you?”

  Uly leaned down and kissed my cheek. “A choice last night isn’t a choice for forever.”

  He winked and pulled his hand away.

  I sighed and felt my knees bending.<
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  I shook my head and took a deep breath.

  No more lovey-dovey bullshit stuff.

  It was time to face this Tinsley bitch and warn her about Them.

  thirteen

  I wanted to smoke in the car so bad.

  No, I needed to smoke in the car.

  I needed to calm down and get this over with.

  Talk to Tinsley Ditkiss and then move on with my life.

  I needed to figure out what was really going on with Jo. If I was homeless, then I’d have to call my mother. Or just figure out another plan.

  Go live with Lizzy! Then you can stay at BFH and stay close to Ash!

  Oh, Ash…

  That was a whole other mess in itself.

  I couldn’t tell Lizzy or Danica about Ash. At least not yet. They would eat me alive. They’d tell me he was using me. But what happened last night was not being used. I knew what being used felt like.

  Hello, Gray.

  Because we completely used each other. He just decided to take it too far. And then decided to take it even further and make that too far by hooking up with Sarah.

  Unless maybe they were good together.

  I screamed in the car.

  Hands on the wheel, white knuckled, and I screamed.

  Just to get my mind to shut up for a minute.

  The scream worked.

  “Good to know,” I said.

  The dashboard screen showed me the road and told me where to go.

  Uly punched in the address and told me to show up.

  The car told me to turn, so I turned.

  And then the car announced I had arrived.

  It was a small gravel parking area.

  Beyond that were green, metal benches concreted into the ground, a walking trail, a running trail, and plenty of trees and flowers to give it the appeal that any rich asshole needed to lie to them self that the real green they cared about wasn’t money.

  Boom, take that.

  Those were my thoughts as I climbed out of the six figure car and shut the door.

  Hil told me to sit on the first bench I saw.

  Which was what I did.

  My ass.

  A green bench.

  At least the weather was perfect.

  I looked around and reached for my phone to figure out what this joke was…

  And then I saw her.

  Walking around the bend of the running trail, not running. Two people ran around her and looked back, giving her evil stares.

  This bitch put up both middle fingers to the runners.

  I nodded.

  I stood up.

  Her dark hair was the opposite color of mine. She had her hair down. Mine was still in the I meant to make it look messy bun.

  She looked at me.

  I looked at her.

  And at the same time we nodded to each other.

  Crazy as it was, I felt hate for her.

  I had no reason to hate her. I knew nothing of her.

  Yet I hated her.

  East vs. West, bitch.

  Them vs. the Rulz, motherfucker.

  I didn’t move an inch.

  Tinsley Ditkiss strutted toward me.

  I noticed her right hand slowly ball up into a fist.

  So I did the same with my right fist.

  * * *

  Nobody threw a punch.

  Yet.

  “Belle?”

  I stared at her. “Tinsley Ditkiss?”

  Her nostrils flared. “Don’t say my full name.”

  “I’m Belle Bablebit,” I said. “I get it.”

  “Damn. That’s rough.”

  “Fuck whoever thought of these names, huh?” I asked.

  “I know where my name came from,” Tinsley said. “You don’t know where yours came from?”

  No, I have no idea who my father is…

  “I meant, you know, at some point, someone invented those names,” I said. “Can’t image the person sitting there, wanting a last name, and deciding on Bablebit. Or Ditkiss.”

  “Almost as bad as the name Belle,” she said. “How fucking cliché can you get?”

  “That’s true,” I said. “Kind of sets the bar high. I wish I had your name.”

  “Unique, right?”

  “No,” I said. “Sets the bar really low. Kind of sounds like a bug you don’t want to bite you.”

  Tinsley snorted. “Nice try.”

  “What? Think about it. The Tinsley Centipede… that’s gross.”

  “But if the bite is deadly…”

  “So you choose violence over beauty then?” I asked.

  “I’ll take both,” she said.

  “I’m sure Pres has enough money to make the beauty part happen.”

  Name dropping… nice, Belle.

  Tinsley widened her eyes. “Oh, wow. You learned their names. Are they written on the palm of your hand? I bet the ink is smeared from keeping Them happy…”

  Tinsley had a hand gesture motion in the air and I laughed.

  “Heard you set the tone for that,” I said as I sat down. “Fucking with all three and then ditching two.”

  Tinsley sat next to me. “So this is it, huh? We hate each other and don’t know each other.”

  “All I know is that your boys started this with me,” I said. “I was just walking one night and…”

  “They were making sure you were safe,” Tinsley said. “The Rulz would never pick up some East vs. West trash.”

  “I’m not from around here.”

  “Neither am I,” Tinsley said.

  “But here you are.”

  “Same as you.”

  “I’m just looking for a story to tell. That’s all.”

  “Because you’re the sappy writer,” Tinsley said. “So cute that you write poetry. Do you rhyme blue with you to make your colors sad?”

  “Sometimes,” I said. “But it’s easier to rhyme red with dead to make a bigger statement.”

  I lifted my left hand and Tinsley was quick to throw up her left middle finger.

  I wanted to hit her.

  I wasn’t completely sure why, but the feeling was there.

  Kind of like with Ash.

  I wasn’t completely sure why I was falling in love with him but…

  Wait. In love? Ash? Is this seriously what you’re thinking about right now?

  My bottom lip trembled.

  “Look, Belle,” Tinsley said, “I don’t want to do this anymore than you do. So let’s just say fuck it.”

  “Okay,” I said. “Fuck it. What’s fuck it? I was told something very simple.”

  Tinsley turned to face me, bending her left leg and putting it up on the bench.

  “Talk to me, Belle,” she said.

  “I was told to let you know that Them… it’s real. And I can even confirm that as a real person here. It’s not just fucking talk. When I first got to BFH it was talk. Ash and Hil were still sort of close. But Uly was an outcast. Not anymore. Them is real. Trust me.”

  Tinsley nodded. “Okay. I’ll take note of that. Mind if I reply?”

  “Have at it,” I said.

  “The Rulz… are far from distracted,” Tinsley said with a grin. “Yeah, maybe things changed a little, but not all that much. In fact, the Rulz are deadlier.”

  “Oh?” I asked.

  “Think about it. They have so much to lose. Pre would kill for me. And Kip… if you could only imagine what it’s like to see him the way he is. And then Barr. Fulfilling a promise to keep the one he loves safe. And I’m talking safe from things you can’t imagine.”

  “I’ll keep that in mind,” I said. “So there you go, Tinsley. We both showed up. We talked. I think that’s it, right? You tell the Rulz…”

  Tinsley reached for my hand. “First they choose you. Then they use you. Next they lose you.”

  I ripped my hand away. “What the fuck did you just say?”

  Tinsley stood up. “You’re not going to get hurt, Belle. But only if you make the right decision.�
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  “What the fuck does that mean?” I asked.

  Tinsley looked behind me and smiled big. “There you are.”

  I turned my head and hurried to bring my knees to my chest. Like the ground had turned into hot lava.

  I watched as Pres, Kip, and Barr walked toward Tinsley.

  Only Pres hugged her.

  But they all looked at me.

  “Hey, love,” Barr said.

  “Hey, girl,” Kip said.

  Now what do I do?

  * * *

  I opened my mouth to unleash a barrage of curse words, insults, and was well prepared to kick everyone in the balls - except Tinsley.

  Before I could mutter a word, Pres moved Tinsley behind him and pushed her back.

  “Oh, here we go,” Kip said as he cracked his knuckles.

  Behind me was Them.

  Uly, Hil, and Ash.

  I jumped over the back of the bench and hit the ground.

  Ash ran to me and helped me up.

  “Go,” he said to me.

  “What is this?” I asked.

  “Go, angel,” he said in a deeper voice. “Right now.”

  Ash moved me aside and jumped over the back of the bench.

  Hil went right for Kip.

  Uly and Barr stared each other down, trying to see who could be the coolest.

  “You didn’t tell her about this, did you?” Pres asked Ash.

  “She knows what she knows,” Ash said.

  I felt my jaw almost hit the ground.

  She knows what she knows?

  My teeth chattered with anger.

  Second they use you.

  That’s what this was.

  They had used me.

  They fucking convinced me to show up to this… to set up this fight. To see if Tinsley would show. To see if the Rulz would show.

  All the while I just drove there and walked to the bench and wanted to slap Tinsley across the face.

  I wasn’t sure who threw the first punch, but Pres and Ash were now tangled up.

  My eyes had dazed long enough to miss the beginning of the fight.

  Uly, Kip, Hil, and Barr were all bouncing off one another.

  Someone grabbed my arm and I turned, swinging.

  I slapped Tinsley across the face.

  I gasped.

  She swung back a second later, punching me in the mouth.

  My head snapped back and I took a step back.

  “I was going to help you,” Tinsley said. “Bitch.”

  “I don’t need your help,” I said. “I don’t need any of their help. Fuck them. Fuck you too.”