Pregnesia

by Carla Cassidy

  Chapter Thirteen

  “Want more coffee?” Loretta asked Lucas as she got up to pour herself another cup.

  “No, thanks, I’m fine. What are your plans for the day?” he asked once she’d joined him at the table.

  “I’m going shopping for a dress to wear to Micah’s wedding,” she replied. “And then I’m meeting Joe for lunch.”

  Joe was the coworker she’d had a date with, the coworker Lucas suspected might eventually become his brother-in-law. Even as she said his name her eyes took on a new sparkle.

  “When do I get to meet this guy?” Lucas asked with a touch of impatience.

  “I don’t know—not yet. We’ll see how things go in the next couple of weeks,” she replied with a smile. “What do you have planned for the day?”

  Lucas glanced out the window, where it was yet another cold, gray day. “I’m not sure. I’m kind of at loose ends.” For the last week he, Micah and Troy had kept a low profile, not even going into the Recovery Inc. offices as they waited for the dust to settle following their raid on the Church of Enlightenment compound. The D.A. had decided not to press any charges against the men who had rescued Julie.

  “I heard they made some more arrests yesterday,” Loretta said, as if she knew his thoughts.

  He nodded and focused back on her. “That makes fourteen. I spoke to Wendall late last night and he told me he thought they’d arrested everyone that had anything to do with Julie’s case.”

  “And they’ll all be charged with kidnapping?”

  “Among other charges.” He picked up his coffee cup and took a sip, trying not to think about Julie. He wasn’t even sure where she was now, told himself it was enough just to know that she was safe.

  According to what Wendall had told him the night before, they had recovered enough information off Robert’s computer to see that he’d spend most of the rest of his life behind bars. He’d kept a diary, filled with plans and sermons he would give his congregation to welcome in the new little prophet.

  It never failed to amaze Lucas how stupid criminals could be when it came to their computers and what they typed in, believing that they wouldn’t get caught, that nobody would ever see their incriminating records.

  They’d also managed to find the doctor who had been going to take the baby from Julie and allow her to die. Martha Montgomery had been a weak link, and according to Wendall, was spilling her guts in hopes of cutting a deal with the prosecution.

  “Troy proposed to Brianna,” he said, once again to get his mind off the thoughts of the woman who had haunted him for the last week.

  “Good for him,” Loretta replied. “Did they set a date for the wedding?”

  “Not yet, although they’re thinking sometime in the spring.” And they all lived happily ever after. The words that ended every fairy tale flittered through his head.

  Micah would soon make Caylee his bride, Troy and Brianna would follow and begin a family and eventually Loretta might marry her Joe.

  “The only real thing we have time for on this earth is to love and to be loved.” Julie’s words whirled around in his head.

  “You’ve invited them all for Thanksgiving dinner?” Loretta asked.

  He nodded and stood abruptly. “I’ve got to get going,” he said, needing to do something, anything that would keep him too busy to think. He carried his cup to the sink just as Loretta’s phone rang.

  She answered as he washed out his cup and put it in her dishwasher. By the time he turned to face her, she’d already hung up.

  “That was Julie,” she said. “She’s in labor and on her way to the hospital.” Loretta looked at him expectantly.

  A rush of crazy emotions blew through him. “You won’t have that baby alone. I’ll make sure of that.” Wasn’t that what he’d told her? Wasn’t that what he’d promised her?

  It hadn’t been a real promise, he tried to tell himself. It had just been a statement made in the heat of a moment.

  As he stood there, frozen in place, Loretta’s look of expectation turned to one of faint disgust. “You’re a fool, Lucas. I know you love her and I know what’s holding you back. In a million years, under a million circumstances, you could never be like him.”

  She grabbed her purse from the countertop. “You’re my hero, Lucas. You always have been, but a hero isn’t afraid of loving somebody. I’m going to the hospital, because Julie needs somebody with her. I’m not the person she really wants, but I guess I’ll have to do.”

  She marched out of the kitchen without a backward glance, and a moment later Lucas heard the slam of her front door. He remained standing in the stillness of the kitchen, alone as he’d always been, alone as he should be.

  JULIE FELT THE GRIP of another contraction coming on and tried to breathe slowly and evenly as she succumbed to the pain that would eventually usher in the birth of her son. She panted as the pain slowly eased away.

  “Three minutes apart. It won’t be long now,” the nurse said cheerfully. “You’re doing just fine, Julie. I’m going to check in with the doctor. I’ll be right back.”

  As she left the room Julie turned her head to look out the hospital room window. The gray, overcast skies could do nothing to detract from the joy of the knowledge that in a short period of time she’d have her baby boy in her arms.

  The only thoughts that might have stolen a tiny bit of joy from her were of Lucas. She tried desperately to keep him out of her mind.

  For the last five days while she’d been alone in her hotel room, Lucas was all she’d been able to think about. She’d almost wished she could call back her amnesia and forget everything that had happened from the moment he’d found her in the back of that car to when he’d walked out of the police station without a backward glance.

  Unfortunately, selective amnesia didn’t seem to be in her power, and thoughts of what might have been had haunted her throughout those days and nights.

  With yesterday’s arrests, Chief Kincaid had told her that he thought she was no longer in danger. Everyone she remembered being part of the plot to steal her baby was now in jail.

  Last night she’d moved back into the house she’d shared with David. She would live there until it sold, then hopefully she’d have enough to cover a couple of months of living expenses. Next fall she intended to return to teaching.

  The future was an open book filled with potential and all she had to do was stop thinking about a particular black-haired, dark-eyed man who had stolen her heart.

  She’d called Loretta several times during the past week, finding solace in the friendship that the two had built in the brief time they’d spent together. In none of those conversations had Lucas’s name come up.

  As she felt another contraction beginning to build, she clenched her fingers into the sheets as tears blurred her vision. They weren’t tears of pain, but rather ones of disappointment. She’d called Loretta, but she hadn’t shown up yet.

  I can do it alone, she told herself as a whimper escaped her lips. She knew she was strong, perhaps stronger than most women. She’d just endured an ordeal that few would ever experience and she’d come out of it okay.

  She closed her eyes as the pain shot through her. Another whimper slipped from her mouth, this one a little bit louder. She was vaguely aware of somebody coming back into the room and suddenly her hand was clasped in a bigger, stronger one.

  Her eyes flew open and she gasped as she saw Lucas, his dark eyes radiating with her pain. “Breathe, Julie,” he said softly.

  She closed her eyes as his hand squeezed hers tightly and she breathed, riding the wave of pain more easily just knowing he was with her.

  When the contraction subsided, she looked at him once again. Was he here because Loretta had insisted he come? Because he’d made her a promise and Lucas was a man of his word?

  She was afraid to hope for anything more. “I’m naming him Luke,” she said with more than a touch of defiance. “And if you don’t like it you can just lump it.”


  He raised a dark eyebrow with a teasing smile. “Lump it?”

  “You know what I mean,” she replied. “What are you doing here, Lucas?”

  He pulled up a chair next to the side of her bed and sat, then once again took her hand in his. “Somebody very wise once told me that the only real thing we have time for on this earth is to love and to be loved.”

  Her heart skipped a beat as she eyed him cautiously. “That still doesn’t answer my question.”

  The teasing smile that had curved his lips faltered and it was with complete seriousness that he gazed at her. “As crazy as it sounds, I think I fell more than half in love with you the minute I saw you in the back of that car. You knew I was in love with you. Loretta knew I was in love with you. Even I knew it. But you scare the hell out of me.”

  “You’re an ex–navy SEAL. Nothing should scare you,” she protested.

  “Not being the man I want to be has always scared me,” he replied.

  “But you’re the man I want you to be. You’re the man I want in my life forever. Oh, Lucas, don’t you see?” The last word rose an octave as a new contraction ripped through her.

  It seemed to last forever and was followed by another one almost immediately. The doctor swept into the room and smiled at Lucas. “Ah, I see we’re all here—mommy and daddy. And very soon we’ll have little junior here with us.”

  Julie knew she should correct the doctor, tell him that Lucas wasn’t the daddy, that he was just here because he’d made a stupid promise.

  She should tell the doctor that Lucas would be here only long enough to see the birth of the baby and then he would disappear from her life once again.

  But she couldn’t tell him, she couldn’t speak a single word as waves of pain tore through her. Lucas grabbed her hand, his eyes shining overly bright as the doctor got into position at the foot of her bed and told her to push.

  “Push, Julie. Let’s get this baby born,” he said.

  She bore down with a low scream as tears blurred her vision. The tears were a mix of pain and joy. Come on, son, she begged as she stopped bearing down and tried to catch her breath.

  “You’re doing great, Julie,” Lucas said as he swept a strand of her damp hair away from her face.

  “Again, Julie,” the doctor said. “Push.”

  “Come on, honey, that little boy wants to be born,” Lucas said. “Push.”

  She did. Over and over again she grunted and pushed to give birth.

  “That’s it,” Lucas exclaimed. “You are so beautiful,” he exclaimed as he swept her damp hair away from her forehead. “You’re the bravest woman I know.”

  “I can’t do it anymore,” she exclaimed in exhaustion.

  “Yes, you can,” Lucas replied. “I love you, Julie, and I love that baby. Now, push!”

  Although his words and actions of love were welcomed, in the back of her mind she knew not to embrace them into her heart. The ability to think fell away as she gave herself into the gripping pain of birth and the knowledge that this moment with Lucas wouldn’t last forever.

  NIGHT HAD FALLEN and outside her hospital window the sky was filled with stars. It was as if the clouds had parted to reveal the beautiful starlit night sky just for little Luke.

  He lay in her arms, sleeping soundly, and snuggled against the reassuring sound of her heartbeat. Love swelled up inside her as she kissed the top of his little bald head.

  She’d slept most of the afternoon, exhausted by the birth. A nurse had awakened her a little while ago and told her it was time to feed her boy.

  The birth itself now felt like a dream, the memory of pain gone beneath the overwhelming joy. Had she dreamed of Lucas when in the throes of childbirth?

  Immediately after little Luke had made his appearance, Lucas had done a vanishing act, and she hadn’t seen him since. She really hadn’t expected anything else. He’d fulfilled his promise that she wouldn’t have the baby alone, and now he owed her nothing more.

  “We’re going to be just fine,” she whispered to Luke. “We’re going to have a wonderful life together.”

  Once again she turned her head to look out her window. No point in wishing on a star for a man who refused to make a commitment despite his pronouncements of love for her.

  Instead, she wished for a long and happy life for her son, a world filled with laughter and love. She would give him that. She would give him all the love she had in her heart.

  A sound from the doorway drew her attention. When she turned her head to see who was there, her breath caught in her chest.

  Lucas stood just inside the room. In one hand he held a huge bouquet of flowers, and in the other arm he gripped the biggest teddy bear she’d ever seen.

  “I didn’t think I’d ever see you again,” she said.

  “Yeah, I didn’t think you would, either.” He placed the flower arrangement on a nearby table, the teddy bear in a chair and then moved to stand beside her bed.

  In the dim lighting of the room his eyes glowed as he gazed at her. “I thought I could walk away from you—from him—but I can’t. For the first time in my life, my love is bigger than my fear.”

  He sank down in the chair next to her, as if his legs wouldn’t hold him up any longer. She didn’t say a word, afraid that in doing so she might break the moment.

  “I’ve done nothing but think about you since I left the police station a week ago. The last week has been the longest in my life, but I was determined to stay away from you. Then Loretta told me you were in labor and I knew this was where I needed, where I wanted to be.”

  He paused and reached for her hand. “I’m not my father and in a million years I could never be my father. I’ve wasted too many years of my life worrying about what I might become instead of recognizing the kind of man I am.”

  “I’ve been trying to tell you that,” she finally said, her heart more full than it had ever been in her entire life.

  He grinned sheepishly. “You should know by now that I’m hardheaded.” His grin disappeared and he leaned forward, his eyes shining with a suspicious moisture. “I love you, Julie, and I want a life with you, with Luke. I want to be the man in both of your lives.”

  “Lucas Washington, if you don’t kiss me this minute I think I might die,” she exclaimed.

  He grinned, that sexy smile that swelled her heart even bigger. He stood and bent over, capturing her lips in a kiss that flamed through her with a wealth of new promises.

  When the kiss finally ended, he drew back from her and gently tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear. “You’ll be home for Thanksgiving, Julie. You and Luke will be home with me.”

  As the stars twinkled outside the window, Julie felt the fire of a comet in her soul, but she knew it was nothing more than the sweet warmth of love.

  ISBN: 978-1-4268-3606-0

  PREGNESIA

  Copyright © 2009 by Carla Bracale

  All rights reserved. Except for use in any review, the reproduction or utilization of this work in whole or in part in any form by any electronic, mechanical or other means, now known or hereafter invented, including xerography, photocopying and recording, or in any information storage or retrieval system, is forbidden without the written permission of the publisher, Harlequin Enterprises Limited, 225 Duncan Mill Road, Don Mills, Ontario, Canada M3B 3K9.

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events or locales is entirely coincidental.

  This edition published by arrangement with Harlequin Books S.A.

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