Unspeakable (Freedom Series Book 1)

by Michelle Pickett

  Jaden and I had never done anything like that. He’d have thought it was stupid. We hardly talked on the phone, or even texted. But Brody and I had fun. It was easy. I didn’t have to try. I could be myself, and that was enough for him. Jaden always seemed to want more from me. I was never sure which girlfriend I was supposed to be when I was with him—the football-loving girlfriend, the attentive girlfriend that waited on him hand and foot, the girlfriend that gave him his space, the girly-girl, or the tomboy. He thought I should be able to fill any of those girlfriend types, and I should automatically know which one he expected me to be. I never felt like I could just be myself—that was never enough. I was never good enough. But Brody didn’t make me feel that way. He actually seemed to want to know the real me. Maybe even like the real me.

  “Okay, what to wear today? Something that says, Had a great time last night; next time, let’s do it in the same bed? No, not a good idea.” I slid my shirts across the closet rod, looking for something to wear. Nothing jumped out at me. For once, I couldn’t find a sarcastic shirt that matched my mood. So I picked a black, long-sleeved T-shirt that had three, neon-green alien heads on the front. Beneath the aliens it read, The aliens made me do it.

  When I walked into biology, Brody looked at me and laughed. “Huh. Just what did the aliens make you do?”

  “I don’t think you could handle knowing what they made me do,” I said with a grin. When I bent over to hang my messenger bag over the back of my seat, I leaned over a little further than necessary so my mouth was near his ear. “I had a lot of fun last night.” My voice was soft and quiet, and I heard him draw in a deep breath. He turned his head, and our faces were just mere inches from each other.

  “I did too. We’ll have to do it again.” He looked in my eyes. “But next time, I’d rather we be in the same bed.”

  A small smile curved my lips, and I had force the next words out of my mouth because it wasn’t how I felt. At. All. “We’re just riding the friend bus, remember?” The truth was my ticket on the friend bus was about to expire. Every second I spent with Brody, he stole a piece of me. No, that wasn’t true. I opened my heart and invited him to take what he wanted. Piece by piece, I let him dismantle me and rearrange the pieces so I was whole again. Not the shell I’d let myself become. Brody was bringing me back to life.

  “Yeah, yeah, I remember, but a guy can dream, right? And besides, since when do girls ask their guy friends what they’re wearing?” He smirked and winked.

  I’m with Jaden. I need to keep reminding myself of that because Brody’s grins, smiles, and little comments make my heart twirl inside my chest and butterflies flutter inside my stomach. I’m starting to wish more than anything I was with him and not Jaden. But Jaden knows. He knows what she did. And he can’t tell. So what Jaden wants, Jaden gets.

  The instructor walked into the room and saved me from answering. Since I didn’t know what to say, it was better to say nothing at all anyway.

  I’d hoped for a movie day so I could sleep through class. I was so tired from staying up late the night before, but unfortunately, the teacher droned on about our next dissection. I hoped Brody was listening because I sure wasn’t. My mind was wandering, mulling over the comment he’d made.

  About halfway through class, I couldn’t stand it any longer. I reached over and pulled his notepad toward me. At the bottom of the page, I wrote, So, what’s the answer?

  Twirling the notepad around so he could read it, I watched his face as his eyes skimmed across my note. A small smile touched his lips.

  He leaned over, put his lips against my ear, and all but growled, “Just boxer briefs.”

  “Mm, the torture,” I whispered. He pulled back and held my gaze a moment too long before returning his attention to the front of the class.

  That’s it. I’m officially unable to concentrate on anything except the knowledge that I was talking to Brody while he was in just his boxer briefs while in bed! Why did I ask?

  Brody and I teased and talked through our classes the rest of the morning. There weren’t any more little comments about what each other was wearing—or not wearing—the night before. I wasn’t sure if I was happy about that or not.

  “What are you doing after school tonight?” Jenna asked at lunch that afternoon.

  I shrugged. “Nothing, I guess.”

  “Well, I know this afternoon is football practice, so you’ll be Jaden free for the day. We should do something.”

  “Oh, I almost forgot, today’s chess club. I can’t do anything after school.” I twirled a fry in a puddle of ketchup on my plate.

  “We could always do something after,” Jenna said, grabbing a fry off my tray.

  “Maybe. I’ll have to see what time I get out of chess club. I’ll be right back. My bloodstream is severely depleted of caffeine.”

  I jogged to my locker to get my afternoon dose of Red Bull. While I was walking back to the commons, I saw Brody talking to Jenna. She smiled and looked at me. Nodding her head, she said something to Brody. He went back to his seat and sat down, quickly glancing at me over his shoulder.

  What the heck was that?

  I found out during independent study when Brody sat down next to me at our normal table in the back of the library. We were working separately on our homework. For some reason, the air seemed filled with tension. At least, I felt it. He seemed unaffected, as always.

  “So…” He continued writing in his notebook, not looking at me. I put my pencil down and watched him. The scratching of his pencil lead across the paper was the only sound, and it grated on my nerves as I waited for him to finish his sentence.

  I let out an exasperated sigh when my nerves grew so taut I felt as though I’d fly around the room like a snapped rubber band. “What?”

  He shrugged a shoulder. “I was wondering if it would be okay with you if I watched you at chess club today?”

  I stared at him for a minute, trying to process what he was asking and why. “I guess. But why? It isn’t a tournament today.”

  “I know. I just want to go and watch.” He put his pencil down and his gaze found mine.

  “You can come, but you’ll be bored,” I said.

  He grinned at me. “I don’t think I’ll be bored.”

  When the bell rang, we gathered our things and he followed me to the classroom where chess club was held. I sat at a table in front of a chessboard. He pulled out a chair next to me and sat down, scooting it as close to my chair as possible. I hung my bag over the back of my seat and looked at him.

  “Is this okay?” he asked me. “If you want me to sit somewhere else, I will.”

  “No, this is fine.”

  It’s totally not fine! I’m not gonna be able to play with him sitting so close to me, smelling his cologne, feeling his thigh brush against mine. I’m not going be able to concentrate on the game when I’m concentrating on him. I’m so going to lose and embarrass myself.

  Tim walked over to me and said, “We have an uneven number of people. Too many people are out sick.”

  “I don’t have to play today.” I started picking up my things to leave.

  “I’ll play you,” Brody offered.

  I glanced up from gathering the game pieces and placing them back in the box. “How long has it been since you’ve played?” I twirled a rook between my fingers.

  Brody shrugged. “A while.”

  Tim looked at me. “I don’t mind if you don’t mind.”

  “I guess so.”

  Brody walked around the table and sat down across from me. We set up the pieces on the board. “Your go,” he told me.

  I made my first move, and he followed with his move. The game progressed quickly, and I was surprised at how well he played. I beat him the first game, and he beat me the second.

  Brody rubbed his hands together and stared at me over the table. “All tied up. Third game’s the tiebreaker. Let’s make it interesting.”

  “What did you have in mind?” I leaned forward and tilt
ed my head to the side.

  “If I win, you have to go get something to eat with me,” Brody said with a grin.

  “And if I win?”

  Brody shrugged a shoulder. “What do you want?”

  Ohmigosh, if he only knew what I wanted. Things I shouldn’t be wanting. I’m with Jaden. I shouldn’t want kisses from Brody, but that’s exactly what I want.

  “I’ll tell you after I win the game, Ace.”

  Brody laughed. “Pretty sure of yourself, aren’t you?”

  “Yup.”

  “Okay, challenge accepted.”

  I spent the whole game trying to figure out what it was I was going to ask for when I won. I was so distracted, I lost the game. Brody was not gracious winner. He laughed and said, “Looks like it’s burger time. I think I’m gonna have a cheeseburger with the works, and a chocolate milkshake. Maybe two. Oh, and onion rings. Can’t forget the onion rings.”

  I rolled my eyes, but I couldn’t help but grin. Secretly, I was glad he’d won. I really wanted to spend time with him, but I wasn’t going to examine my reasons why too closely. I shouldn’t want to go get a burger with Brody, but I did. More than anything

  “Just out of curiosity, what would you have asked for if you would’ve won?” Brody asked.

  I smiled and winked at him. “I’ll never tell.”

  “Ugh, you’re such a tease.”

  “Let’s just say, you should have let me win.”

  Brody groaned.

  We gathered our things and walked out to the student parking lot. Brody unlocked the door of his Jeep and held it open for me to get in. I felt a little awkward. Jaden never held the door open for me and we were freakin’ dating—sort of.

  “Thanks,” I said, climbing into the Jeep. I watched Brody in the side mirror as he walked around the back. He twirled his keys around his fingers on one hand, the other tucked in his jeans pocket. “So, where do you want to go? The Dive?” I asked when he got in the Jeep.

  “No, I didn’t think you’d want to go to The Dive.” He put the keys in the ignition and angled his body toward me. “I know we’re going as friends, but your boyfriend doesn’t seem the type to allow you to have guy friends. The Dive is going to be full of people from school. Someone will tell Jaden we were together.”

  I looked out the window and blew out a breath. “Um…”

  “Hey, it’s okay. I know a little place not too far away. I doubt anyone from school would be caught dead there. At least, no one in your social circle.”

  I swung my gaze back to his. “I don’t have a social circle.”

  “No? Are you sure about that?”

  “No. I mean, yes, I’m sure. I hate that people assume just because I date Jaden, I belong to a certain clique. Did you already forget I’m a member of the chess club? One of my best friends is the captain of the club? I fit in more with him than I do with any of Jaden’s friends.” I shoved my things to the floor of the Jeep with a frustrated breath. “I don’t know why I’m even bothering to explain myself to you. It’s not like it matters what you think. Let’s just go and get this over with.” I fell back against the seat and stared out the side window. Suddenly, the idea of going anywhere with him lost its appeal.

  “Hmm, and I wouldn’t know anything about stereotypes, huh? I’m just the bad boy, man-whore of Cassidy High,” he murmured.

  I turned to face him, and his sapphire gaze locked onto mine. “I guess you were judged before you even stepped foot in school,” I whispered. He didn’t answer, but his gaze held mine captive. I lay my hand on his arm and skimmed my fingers over his skin. “I’m sorry. I was one who judged you, and I’m sorry.”

  He didn’t answer me for a long time. The silence stretched between us, awkward and uncomfortable. I fought the urge to squirm in my seat. And then he did something that caught me completely off guard and threw me totally off balance. Brody took my hand from his arm, turned it over, and kissed the inside of my wrist, letting his warm, soft lips linger against my skin just a moment longer than necessary for a normal kiss. But it was no normal kiss. It was a silky whisper caress of his lips across my skin that sent my body into a frenzy.

  I sucked in a breath. My insides did all sorts of weird things. Forget butterflies, I had balls bouncing around my stomach—bounding from one side to the other, hitting the wall and springing back again. My heart beat so hard it hurt and if someone had asked me about Jaden, I would have said, “Who?” Not good, not good at all. And so very dangerous.

  I slowly pulled my hand away, still looking into his eyes. “Just friends, remember?” My voice was barely a whisper.

  “That was my just-friends kiss. If it was my kiss for more than friends, we wouldn’t be talking right now.” He turned and started the Jeep.

  I let out the breath I was holding and tried not to think about the more-than-friends kisses he would give.

  Houston, I definitely have a problem.

  We drove in silence for about five minutes when Brody pulled into a small, gravel parking lot. I looked around. “This is a bar,” I said. “They’re not going to let us in here.”

  “Don’t worry. My aunt owns the place. She makes the best burgers in town. Makes The Dive’s look like dog food… and her milkshakes? Don’t even get me started.”

  We walked into the small, white building. It was much larger than it looked from the outside, and it wasn’t at all what I thought a bar would look like. It wasn’t dark and smoky inside. It was light, without being too bright. And the smell of burgers filled the air, not the smell of cigarettes and stale beer like I expected. A large, square bar sat in the middle of the room with bar stools surrounding it. Booths lined the left wall and tables were scattered throughout the remaining area, with the exception of the right side of the room, which was full of pool tables, a couple of air hockey tables, and arcade games.

  Brody took my hand and pulled me gently with him as he made his way to the back of the building where a small counter was located. A petite woman, who couldn’t have been much taller than five feet, greeted him with a broad smile.

  “Hey, Brody! Whatcha up to today?”

  “Hi, Aunt Bess. I’m just in the mood for one of your awesome burgers,” Brody said with a smile, dropping my hand so he could give his aunt a hug over the counter.

  “And who’s this?” The woman glanced at me and then back to Brody.

  “This is my friend, Willow. Willow, this is my Aunt Bess.”

  “Hi, sweetie,” Bess said, turning her smile on me.

  “Hi. It’s nice to meet you.” I smiled back at her. Her smile was contagious.

  “So, you’re here for burgers, huh? Let me guess. A big Cheesy and a chocolate milkshake for you, Brody?”

  Brody laughed. “I guess I’m getting too predictable. I’m going to have to switch it up one of these days. Keep you on your toes.”

  Brody’s aunt winked at him before turning to me and asking, “And what would you like, Willow?”

  “Um.” I looked at Brody. “Why don’t you order for me?”

  “Nope.” He shook his head. “I know how much you hate that.”

  I tapped the counter with my finger and read the menu under the glass on the counter. “I think I’ll try the little cheesy, and I’d like an order of onion rings, please, with a Coke.”

  “Good choice.” Brody’s aunt wrote everything down on a ticket. “I’ll bring it right out to you, but, Willow?”

  “Yes?”

  “You really should have a milkshake. They’re the bomb, if I do say so myself,” she said with a giggle.

  “Okay. I’ll try a chocolate,” I said, smiling at her giggles. I immediately liked Brody’s aunt.

  “Do you want to play pool while we wait for our burgers?” Brody nodded at the pool tables. “Do you know how to play?”

  I shook my head and concentrated on schooling my features. “No,” I lied.

  “Well, I can teach you. I’m not too bad.”

  Score. That’s what I was hoping you’
d say.

  Brody racked the balls and selected our cues. “You want to break?” He handed me a pool cue.

  “Um, sure, I can break.” I took the cue from Brody and stood in front of the pool table, pretending like I had no idea what I was doing.

  “Here, let me help you line up your shot.” Brody moved beside me and wrapped his arms around me, holding the pool cue with me. “Here, place your hands like this.” He adjusted my grip.

  Oh, yeah. This is exactly what I was hoping for. Not a good idea, but, oh, it feels so good not to be right.

  His warmth scorched my skin, and my body soaked up the feel of him to relive later. I was thoroughly enjoying having Brody’s arms around me. Pool was my new favorite game.

  I’ve died and went to hell, because now I know what it feels like to have his arms around me. This was a bad idea, a very bad idea.

  We pulled the pool cue back to make the shot. I nearly groaned as I felt his muscles flex and contract against me. The ball rolled down the pool table and cracked against the balls at the other end, sending them flying across the felt. Three balls sunk into the pockets. Brody looked at me and smiled.

  “Good job. Do you want to be stripes or solids?”

  “Well, since I sunk two stripes, I guess I’ll pick stripes.” I gave his shoulder playful nudge with mine. Well, sort of. My shoulder didn’t actually reach his.

  “It’s still your shot,” Brody said, studying the table. When he decided on our next shot, he held his arm out to me. “This looks like a fairly easy one.”

  I walked into his outstretched arm, my heart racing. Brody immediately wrapped both arms around me to help me take the shot. We bent over the table to line it up. It was an easy play and I normally would’ve made it, but I missed. My hands were shaking. My mind was numb, but my body hummed. I couldn’t concentrate on pool. I could barely remember my name.

  Brody took his turn, sinking shot after shot. I wondered if I would get another turn. It was obvious he spent a great deal of time at his aunt’s bar playing pool.