A Ride or Die Kind of Love

by Chelsea Camaron

  “Wait ‘till you ride it,” Luke said with a grin. I could tell that this was something that he loved. His whole demeanor seemed to change in the presence of this beautiful machine. “Here,” Luke said handing me a helmet that looked like it was custom made just for me. “I hate ‘em but it’s the law.”

  I silently thanked the great state of Mississippi for enforcing such a law and put my helmet on as Luke pushed the bike out through the door.

  “That lid never looked so good,” Luke said grabbing his own helmet off a large chrome tool box that I just noticed was there.

  “Lid?” I asked, completely confused. He patted my helmet with a wink. I was going to have to purchase a motorcycle lingo for dummies book in the near future.

  “Ready?” he asked, taking my hand and leading me out the door.

  “As I’ll ever be,” I replied nervously. My breathing quickened and I realized that I had really not thought this whole motorcycle riding through.

  “Hey,” Luke said wrapping his arm around my waist. “You’ll love it. Don’t be nervous. I won’t let anything happen.” He grabbed my chin and lifted my face to his before leaning down and giving me a kiss that erased every doubt that I had. He climbed on and cranked the bike, causing the vibrations to carry through the concrete and all the way up my body. A thrill of excitement surged through me as I stepped onto the foot pegs, slung my leg over and settled on the back seat. It was much more comfortable than I thought possible and the back rest gave me a little more sense of security as I settled back, placing my hands on Luke’s shoulders, not real sure where to put them.

  “You don’t have to hold on so tight babe, you’re not going anywhere,” Luke yelled, turning to me laughing. I realized my knuckles were white from grabbing him so hard and I immediately let go. “Just move with the bike, it will come naturally.” I took a deep breath, trying to relax. The vibrations were so intense I could almost feel the sensation through my pants. Luke pulled the bike onto the dirt road. The bike leaned to the left, then right and my automatic reaction was to bail off the side, but I realized that it was over before I could react and my body had not moved an inch. I knew he was trying to help me get the feel of it, but I wasn’t going to lie. I was scared shitless.

  By the time we got to the highway, I was afraid that I wasn’t going to make it. Luke must have felt my uneasiness because he didn’t pull onto the highway. Instead, he pulled the bike over and got off. He came beside me, opening the saddle bag and pulled out an iPod with ear buds.

  “Here, this will help calm you down a little,” he said, selecting a playlist and handing me the ear buds. I put them in and was surprised to hear Coal War blaring through the small speakers. Once again, he kissed me sweetly, giving me a wink, and then climbed back on and pulled out onto the highway.

  I closed my eyes, smiling to myself and let the lyrics take me away. When I opened them, I felt like a new person. The wind blowing through my hair and the music in my ears made me feel so free. The air was warm and inviting. I lifted my hand up letting the air pass between my fingers. I felt like I could ride forever. The iPod shuffled to the next song which just so happened to be one of my favorites. Hearing the song brought back memories of one of my best childhood friends, Kandice. Just like so many others, life had taken her from me way too soon. Kandice loved music. She was such a free spirit and I envied her ability to be so carefree. A hippie at heart, she was able to quote any song from The Beatles to Lynyrd Skynyrd. I laughed through my tears at the memory of us on our road trip to Texas, singing at the top of our lungs. We replayed the song over and over until we knew every word.

  Listening to the Black Crowes sing “Josephine” changed me in that moment. Life had dealt me a shitty hand, but I had an ace in the hole. Luke. He was my saving grace. It just took me until now to realize it.

  I wrapped my arms around Luke. Leaning forward, I placed my chin on his shoulder and whispered in his ear, “Thank you.” I knew there was no way he knew what I was talking about. Perhaps he thought it was the iPod, or the ride, or the wakeup call he gave me when he texted Lindsey, but he responded when he reached back and ran his hand down my thigh and landed it on my knee, where he held on while I rested my head on his shoulder until we came into town.

  Our first stop was at 59 Hangout, which was an old run down bar off of Highway 59. On the left and right sides of the white block building were old junk cars that had grass growing up around them. A wooden fence separated the building from two trailers that were overgrown with vines and brush. The large green door that led into the building was the only sign of color. We pulled in alongside about fifty other bikes, parking towards the front. Before Luke had time to even cut the bike off, we were surrounded by people. I recognized some of the men’s faces that shook Luke’s hand from the bar the other night. Most of them gave Luke a big hug, slapping him on the back, seeming genuinely glad to see him. I noticed that none of them made any attempt to speak to me until Luke introduced me.

  “This is Dallas. Dallas, these are my brothers; Tiny, War and Regg,” he said waving his hand in their direction. I slid my helmet off, doing my best to smooth my hair and shook each of their hands. Tiny was a large man, every bit of 6’5” with long, stringy hair and kind eyes. I noticed the patches on his vest were similar to the ones Luke wore. War was a man of short stature with a no-nonsense look on his face that made me think his bite was just as bad as his bark. He made me nervous, causing me to quickly dart my eyes to Regg.

  “Hello, beautiful!” Regg said to me smiling, and then pulled me into a bear hug. He had a boyish face with big brown eyes. His hair was a very light blonde and his goatee was the only thing making him look a day older than fifteen. He was shorter than Luke but not by much and his husky size reminded me of a big ol’ teddy bear. I returned his hug and not being able to help it, landed a kiss on his red cheek.

  “Damn girl, you gonna make me take you home with me?” Regg responded laughing. I liked him immediately. He seemed so full of love and life.

  “Red will beat the hell outta you, boy,” Tiny said while playfully punching Regg in the arm.

  “Okay, okay, that’s enough,” Luke said breaking us apart and running his arm around my waist, claiming his territory.

  “Red inside?” Luke asked, looking at Regg. “Yeah, that crazy bitch is in there. She is giving hell to a prospect at the bar.” He replied, shaking his head.

  “That figures. Come on, babe.” Luke led me towards the door, stopping several times to shake hands and hug people, but never introducing me. I wondered why, but just passed it off as him being in a hurry. I just stood there and smiled, although they never acknowledged my presence.

  When we walked in, it took a moment for my eyes to adjust. The bar was so dark that I couldn’t even make out Luke’s face standing beside me. Never slowing, Luke led me through the entry and to the bar where he ordered two beers. I looked around, my eyes starting to adjust, and noticed that a line of men, all wearing leather vests, were lined up to say hello to Luke.

  Once again, they never looked my way and Luke never bothered to introduce me. I couldn’t help the feeling of unimportance that passed over me. I was used to being the center of attention wherever I went. In the Luke’s presence, it seemed as if I didn’t even exist. I turned my back to Luke and looked around the bar. There was a stage in the far left corner of the bar that was set up for a band. The entire floor was a concrete slab, except for the make-shift dance floor that was covered in wood colored linoleum. Floor to ceiling mirrors covered the back wall of the dance floor. Christmas lights were the main source of lighting and were strung up all around the bar. Mismatched tables and chairs were scattered throughout the bar and all of them were occupied.

  “Hey, you!” I looked across the bar to see Red coming towards me. She was dressed in tight black jeans and a white t-shirt with an orange bandana wrapped around her head. A black leather vest full of patches and black boots completed her outfit. She looked absolutely gorgeous. Her smile
was wide, making her eyes sparkle and I couldn’t help smiling back at her. “I had no idea you were coming!” she said, walking up and wrapping her arms around me. I returned her hug enthusiastically, feeling better by just seeing her face.

  “Here I am!” I said smiling.

  “Well, come on and let me get you a beer,” Red said, grabbing my arm and leading me to the other side of the bar. From the angle we were now at, I could see Luke looking like a damn celebrity -- shaking hands, hugging necks, and kissing women on the cheek. I tried not to let it bother me, but I just couldn’t help it. Why was he acting like I wasn’t even there?

  “Two Millers, Cas,” Red called to the hot bartender who looked like she belonged in a fashion magazine and not behind this dusty old bar. I wondered why someone who looked like her would want to work in a place like this. Then I noticed the overflowing tip jars and I knew. She probably made more money in a weekend here than she would if she worked a whole month in some clothing store.

  “Thanks,” I said as she handed me my beer.

  “No problem,” she replied with a wink.

  “Sorry Cas, this one is taken,” Red said, wrapping her arm possessively around my waist. Cas just gave a slight shrug then turned to help another demanding customer.

  “She likes you. This means that when the guys start bringing in whiskey and feeding it to her, she is gonna come looking for you. You can thank me later,” Red said, pulling out a barstool and gesturing for me to have a seat. We sat down, facing Luke from across the bar. I lifted my beer as a toast to Red and we clanked bottles.

  “So, are ya wondering how he does it?” Red asked with her eyes following Luke.

  “Does what? Pretends that I don’t exist?” I blurted out.

  Red laughed. “Honey, you should feel very special. You are the envy of every girl in here. Luke has not brought a woman around for some time. For your pretty little ass to even have the opportunity to grace his bitch seat is more than most women, who have known Luke for years, get.”

  “Then why doesn’t he introduce me?” I asked, sounding like a petulant child.

  Red turned to face me. “What the hell do you want exactly, hmm? For him to give you his un-divided attention at all times? For him to turn his back on what he has worked so hard for, just to make sure you feel appreciated and comfortable? Do you want to know why he hasn’t introduced you? Because you are nothing. This is a CDC world you are living in, honey, and the sooner you figure it out, the better off you will be. Stop being so fucking selfish for once in your life and know your place.”

  I was shocked at the outburst. She had not said it with any type of animosity, just very matter- of-fact. “CDC?” I asked of yet another biker reference that I had never heard before.

  “Cunts Don’t Count. It’s not derogatory or demeaning; it’s just how it is. See, this is a man’s world. We are only here for decoration and moral support. You will always come second. It’s kinda hard to deal with at first, especially for someone like you, who is used to getting everything she wants. But, it has a way of growing on you,” she said, pulling a cigarette out and lighting it.

  “Why would you want to surround yourself with people who consider you a nobody?” I asked, truly intrigued by what she had just shared with me.

  “You see that man right there?” she asked, pointing to Regg. “He is the reason that I do this. I love him and this family. I am appreciated, loved and respected. As long as I know my place and stay out of club business, I will always be welcome and have a family here.”

  “Okay, I am confused. If you don’t matter, why are you here?”

  “I never said that I didn’t matter. Stop trying to think of it as a bad thing. There is not a man in here that would do anything to disrespect you. You can have a good time, be protected, and genuinely loved by everyone here. But, these men are not here to see you. They are here for Luke because he asked them to come. He doesn’t introduce you because you are not of importance right now. If you had a title, it would be hang-around, unless you and Luke have become an item in the last twenty-four hours. If and when you become official, chances are, even then, he won’t be rolling the red carpet out for you. When you walked through that door with him, everyone in the room knew who you were. And that is property of the Devil’s Renegades’ President, LLC.”

  I sat on the stool with my mouth slightly open, trying to take in all that she had just told me. Was this the kind of life that I want? Did I really want to play second fiddle to a bunch of greasy bikers? What the hell was wrong with me? The kind of life that I wanted? Hell, I just met the guy. I had so many more questions that I wanted to ask but the band was taking the stage and Red’s attention had quickly turned to them. I suddenly wanted nothing more than to leave from this place. I didn’t belong here and I knew it. It was apparent that Luke didn’t want me here either; if he did he would be here beside me. Wouldn’t he? I looked across the bar to see him chatting with a pretty blonde. Judging by his facial expressions and the sexy smile on his face, I knew that he was flirting. I watched him as he put his arm around her shoulders and whispered something in her ear, causing her to throw her head back in laughter.

  Naturally, being the woman that I am, I assumed that whatever joke was told was on my behalf. My suspicions were confirmed when our eyes met and she gave me a wink. Some would probably consider it just a friendly gesture, but I knew that face. It was the same one that I had used when I knew I had one up on someone. She was letting me know that she was stepping on my territory and was enjoying every minute of it.

  “Hey!” Red said, eyeing me warily. “Stop it.”

  “Stop, what?” I asked, confused at her demand.

  “You are looking for a reason to be jealous. That’s his sister.” My whole body sagged with relief. His sister, it was his fucking sister and I was two seconds from making a scene.

  “Oh,” was all I could manage to say. I had assumed that Luke was an only child. Now, looking at the two, I don’t know why I had not seen it before. They did favor each other.

  “Well, not technically,” Red said from beside me. My head turned in her direction and I managed to pull my eyes away from the siblings to stare at her.

  “What? So, they’re not brother and sister?” I asked completely confused. Just how many beers had Red drank since she had been here?

  “Okay, that’s Creek’s Ol’ Lady. Creek is Luke’s riding brother, so that makes BeBe, Luke’s sister,” Red said, looking like she was trying to choose her words carefully so she didn’t get them confused.

  “Damn it, Red, just say what the hell you mean. I don’t know motorcycle slang. Is that his fucking sister or not?” I said a bit too harshly.

  “Hey, chill out, man. It’s been a while since I have had a conversation with someone outside this life.” I just stared at her expectantly. I could tell that the drinks had obviously caught up with her. She seemed somewhat spaced out. “They are not blood kin if that’s what you are asking,” she said smiling, obviously enjoying my aggravation.

  “Fuck it,” I said, grabbing my beer. “I’m going outside.” I went to stand up when someone touched my shoulder.

  “Dallas?” said a man’s voice from beside me. I turned to see my very first love staring back at me.

  “Sam?” Sam Ervin. The All-American quarterback turned surfer boy was smiling at me. His big green eyes were creased at the corners from smiling his megawatt smile. I had loved Sam since the tenth grade, although the feeling was never mutual. Partly because he never knew that I had a crush on him. When I moved to Collins from Atlanta, he was the first person to speak to me in class. Through our junior and senior years of high school, I managed to keep my secret hidden. My fear of rejection was greater than the opportunity of truth. Looking at him now, I felt nothing. I had stopped feeling for him a long time ago, but it sure was nice to see a familiar face, and his was a nice one to look at.

  “What are you doing here?” he asked me. Letting his eyes travel over my body. I had mature
d a lot since the twelfth grade, and he was taking notice. Sam had matured a lot also. His blonde curly hair was still wild and untamed, but his skin was sun kissed, and his shirt bulged from his muscles. I noticed that we seemed to be the only two in the building who looked as if they didn’t belong.

  “Maybe I should ask you the same question,” I responded.

  “My little brother is playing in the band. Skill-Saw is what they are calling themselves. I guess joints like this are their only takers,” he said laughing. His laugh was contagious as I joined in with him. I happened to look across the bar and saw Luke glaring at me. His face was that of stone, but his eyes were full of fire. He shook his head from side to side as if telling me “no” about something. I quickly averted my eyes, looking at anything but him.

  “That your new boyfriend?” Sam asked, nodding his head towards Luke, but never taking his eyes off of me.

  “No, just a friend,” I said, looking down at my beer. I tried focusing all of my attention on removing the label from the bottle.

  “You could have fooled me. The way he looks at you is the way a man looks at a woman who belongs to him,” Sam said. I looked up to see him staring at me intently.

  “Well, I may be considered his property, but I most definitely do not belong to him,” I said defiantly.

  “Ah, gotta love the biker world,” Sam said, taking a long pull from the bottle of water he was holding.

  “And just what do you know about the biker world?” I asked. I knew that Sam had walked out on a full athletic scholarship to a four year university to move to Hawaii and become a surfer, but I had no idea he had any knowledge of this life.

  “I watch a lot of T.V.,” he said grinning at me like we were fifteen again. I smiled at him. He had always been so easy to talk to.

  My frustration lifted somewhat, until a deep voice spoke into my ear, “Let’s go.” Before I could jerk my head around, to see who it was, Luke had me by my arm pulling me from my spot at the bar. I had not even recognized his voice. I could feel the tension radiating through his body. I half expected Sam to come to my rescue, but was somewhat relieved and yet slightly disappointed when I turned to see him still sitting at the bar as if nothing had happened. Luke pulled me through the door, never letting go of my arm. I had to practically run to keep up with him. Excitement coursed through my veins at the feel of his touch. I didn’t care if the touch was forceful or not, it felt so good to be this close to him, too good.