Cammie Takes Flight

by Laura Best

  “All I wanted was a little part of her, Cammie. That’s all I wanted. Brenda was all I had, my only sister. You were the closest thing I could get. And you needed someone, too.”

  ---

  I go to see Evelyn the next day because there’s no one else I can tell all this to, and I’ve got to let it out before I split wide open.

  When the Merrys’ front door swings open, I’m not prepared to see Jim Merry standing on the other side. I thought he’d be out in the barn doing chores, not sitting around the house answering knocks at his front door. I push the fruitcake I’m holding at him and say, “Aunt Millie sent this,” like he’s not going to notice her sudden generosity.

  “It’s Christmas,” Aunt Millie had said when I gave her a queer look. “We’re supposed to do nice things, aren’t we? Goodwill toward everyone and all that. No need to look at me like I’ve lost my mind, Cammie. I can do nice things, too, you know. No one ever gives me a chance.”

  “Ethel,” calls Jim behind his shoulder. “It’s the little blind girl from up the road.” I stand in the porch like the cat’s got my tongue. There’s nothing I want to say to Jim Merry—other than I’m glad he finally got around to getting Evelyn the sloop ox he’s wanted since forever and a day. Knowing me it would come out sounding snotty, so I keep quiet. “Back from the city for the holidays?” he asks. I nod. No real answer required and I’m glad for that.

  “Evelyn will be happy you’re here,” says Mrs. Merry, wiping her hands on her apron as she heads my way. “We’ve been wondering when you’d come—haven’t we, Jim?”

  Leaving my boots in the porch, I follow behind Mrs. Merry in my stocking feet. I’m feeling a little antsy. There’s so much to say, I’m not sure where to start. Evelyn’s probably not going to want to hear about the trouble I’ve been having coming up with the right verse for Jennie’s autograph book, and I know he’s not going to give a flying fig about our Christmas dance because he always said dancing was stupid. Church? Forget it. I’m not sure he’s ever stepped inside one. He’d be interested in hearing about the tramcars in Halifax, the Public Gardens, and our trips to the Stadacona Base for swimming, but I put all those things in the letters I wrote. I don’t want to bore him.

  When my legs won’t take me any farther, I stop right outside the room. I’d planned it out in my head last night sitting in the moonlight, how I’d rush to Evelyn’s side and start blabbing away. So much for well-thought-out plans. Mrs. Merry marches across the room and says, “Evelyn…Cammie’s here.” She turns back toward me and tells me to come in. She’s smiling like it’s made her day to have me come visit and that thought sticks in my throat just a little. I should have come way before now, but some things aren’t as easy as they seem.

  I move across the room slow, like I’m walking through water. It’s been so long since I’ve seen Evelyn, maybe he’ll think I’ve gone on with my life without giving him any consideration when, really, I think of him most every day. That’s what best friends do. Pulling in a deep breath, I let go of these past three months, dissolve them in my mind like a hailstone in July, and hurry toward him. Evelyn Merry, that thick mop of brown hair, is a sight for sore eyes. I can’t stop grinning.

  Giving him a quick nudge on the arm I say, “You’re never going to believe this.” I squeeze his hand and picture a smile on his face like he’s trying to hold it in. Settling my rump into the cushioned chair beside him, I pretend that I haven’t been gone away, and the words start flowing out of me. I regurgitate the whole incident like a cow bringing up its cud, careful so as not to leave out any of the juicy details. I tell him about the letter I found in Aunt Millie’s jewelry box while looking for my birth record, how Aunt Millie’s sister never was my mother, that she died along with her baby at a maternity home. I tell him how I was a baby in the nursery with umpteen other babies, waiting for someone to adopt me, only no one wanted a baby with bad eyes. And I tell him how Aunt Millie took a job at the home to find out what really happened to her sister.

  “Imagine Aunt Millie with a respectable job,” I say with a quick laugh. I know this tickles him just as much as it does me.

  I go on to say how Aunt Millie went to that home to get to the truth but ended up coming home with me. I work my way through all the particulars like I’m never going to shut up. I tell him that Aunt Millie brought me home with her because she wanted me, really wanted me, and the words bunch up on me like when you swallow a gulp of water too fast.

  “Ed won’t be adopting me because he’s not even my father,” I say, throwing my hands up in the air. I tell Evelyn about the newspaper articles Aunt Millie saved over the years about the people running that maternity home, waiting for him to come out with something smart the way he sometimes does. I keep on gibbering like a lone bird singing into the wind. Then I whisper to him how his own pa was the one who helped Aunt Millie bring me home to Tanner.

  “Imagine that,” I say. “It’s like we were bound to be best friends right from the start.” My hands press together and I wait for Evelyn to say something like how everything kind of makes sense now, and that finally the pieces all fit together. If only I could make a big smile spread across his face.

  “Evelyn…” I stop. The rest of what I want to say won’t move past my front teeth. My words have come to a screeching halt and all that’s left is air. The silence hurts my ears and I want to scream. I hate that he won’t speak to me.

  But then Mrs. Merry walks into the room.

  “Thanks for coming, Cammie. Your letters have meant so much. We read them every day.”

  Blinking a few times to hold in the tears, I thank her for the letters she sent, too.

  “I like reading about Spark,” I say. Getting up off my chair, I start buttoning my coat and pull my tam down over my head. I’m stopped in my tracks when Mrs. Merry starts talking again.

  “He could wake up any time, you know—that’s what the doctor says. They really don’t know why he hasn’t, what’s keeping him asleep.” She smoothes the wrinkles out of the sheets on Evelyn’s bed. “He opens his eyes for hours at a time, but he can’t quite wake up. It’s like he’s in some other world…but you’ll come back, won’t you, Evelyn?” she says, leaning in close to him. She straightens back up and adds, “They didn’t want me to bring him home, but I can look after him here. Home is the best place to be.”

  I listen for the sound of doubt in her voice but don’t hear it. Six months and even I’m afraid to keep hoping. I guess if your ma gives up on you it’s time to call it quits. Evelyn has never been a quitter. I take a deep breath. Mrs. Merry hasn’t given up hope, and neither will I. Reaching for the door latch, I turn around.

  “Evelyn’s a real fighter. I bet he’s going to wake up soon,” I say right before I leave.

  Chapter Twenty-six

  Christmas songs are playing on the radio. Aunt Millie’s belting them out as if she can carry a decent tune. She promises popcorn but I tell her to forget it. Can’t she tell I’ve got things on my mind? Even the doctor doesn’t know why Evelyn’s still asleep. I don’t know what I was expecting. If all the juicy details of my life didn’t wake him up, then I don’t know what will. At least when I was in Halifax, sending letters to him, I could dream up in my head that he was awake, that he and his pa were breaking in that sloop of his. But seeing him just lying in bed is the worst thing imaginable.

  Grabbing Aunt Millie by the hand, Drew pulls her to her feet. They dance to “I’ve Got My Love To Keep Me Warm.” It’s pretty corny, Drew making over Aunt Millie like she’s the woman of his dreams. Excuse me for not being sociable. The way Aunt Millie strung everyone along to save her own skin, letting me spend my life hoping for something that was never going to happen, is enough to make an angel swear. Then there’s Ed, an innocent bystander. I’m not sure how he’ll take the news. Under the right circumstances I might have felt grateful to know that Aunt Millie took me out of that horrible place, but lies th
at big don’t go away the moment you decide to tell the truth.

  There are presents under the tree. Three of them have my name on them. I snuck a peek earlier in the day when Drew and Aunt Millie were out in the kitchen. There’s only one thing I want for Christmas. I’d pass up a lifetime of presents to hear Evelyn Merry say my name.

  When a knock comes to the back door, Aunt Millie takes off.

  “Hold your pickle,” she says, dropping Drew’s hand and marching out to the kitchen. Seems strange, someone coming to visit on Christmas Eve. Used to be a knock at the back door only meant one thing: one of the gang was coming by for a drink of moonshine. Aunt Millie assures me those days are long gone. I say time will tell.

  “Cammie…it’s for you!” Aunt Millie sounds like she’s got a bee in her bonnet. I find out why the moment Ed’s voice echoes in the background. Making a beeline for the kitchen, I wonder what Ed’s doing here on Christmas Eve when he knows Aunt Millie’s still perturbed with him.

  “I got you a present,” he says, shoving something brown and fuzzy into my arms. “I saw it in Bridgewater.” I look into its round beady eyes, at the bright red ribbon around its neck. It’s kind of cute, even though I’m probably too big for a teddy bear. I never had one growing up. Nessa has a whole shelf full of dolls but that’s different. Even grown-ups collect dolls. My face suddenly drops. How am I going to tell Ed he’s not my father?

  “I knew it. You don’t like it. I told Miranda you were too old,” he says, rubbing the back of his neck.

  “It’s not that…. You should come in. I’ve got something to tell you.”

  “Do you think I dare? I mean, Millie…”

  Looking behind my shoulder I see Aunt Millie give a nod. She turns and leaves, giving us some privacy. I listen for the sound of her shoes to get fainter before saying to Ed, “You might want to sit down for this.”

  ---

  “So, there you have it,” I say once I’ve rehashed the whole thing for Ed. I squeeze the stuffed bear. “You’re not really my father so you won’t have to adopt me. We’re not even related.”

  I wait for Ed to break the silence. It’s hard to imagine what could be going through his mind. Pushing the teddy bear at him, I say, “You can take it with you.”

  Ed clears his throat. I expect he’ll make some lame excuse and be on his way.

  “Keep it,” he says, clearing his throat, “unless you don’t want it, that is.”

  “I just thought….” There go the words, bunching up on me again.

  “You thought what?”

  My chair suddenly becomes uncomfortable on the backside.

  “Everything’s different now. This…changes things.” I catch myself kicking at the floor and stop.

  “Changes what?” Ed practically barks at me.

  “You don’t have to adopt me.” It should be pretty obvious without me having to spell it out for him.

  “Have to? I never had to…did you ever stop to think I might actually want to adopt you?”

  “Not really,” I say with a peculiar laugh that only comes out when the nerves gang up on me.

  “I don’t see how this has to change anything. You don’t have any parents. Miranda and I can still adopt you.” I make a quick calculation of this, but before I can say anything Aunt Millie steps into the conversation.

  “I already told you, Ed Hanover, Cammie’s mine. You can’t have her. I can’t turn my back for a minute, can I?”

  “And maybe you don’t have any say about it,” says Ed, now jumping up off his chair. “Cammie’s twelve. I’d say that’s old enough to decide for herself.”

  “I’ve had her from the start, Ed. Right from the start. You come waltzing in here a few years ago and think you can turn everything upside down. Well, it doesn’t work that way.”

  “With nothing legal, I say she’s up for grabs,” says Ed raising his voice.

  Up for grabs? I’m not some prize to be drawn for at the New Ross fair.

  “Hey!” I squawk, but no one pays attention.

  The two of them start squabbling over me like I’m the last licorice whip in the jar at Mae Cushion’s store. Then Drew joins in the racket—taking Aunt Millie’s side and telling Ed he’s got no rights at all. I tell them to quiet down but no one hears, not Ed or Drew, and certainly not Aunt Millie, who’s now standing on a chair in the middle of the kitchen, shaking her fist in the air. There’s more noise in the kitchen than there ever was when Aunt Millie was bootlegging and no one’s even drinking.

  “What do you want, Cammie?” asks Ed, suddenly turning toward me. “Who do you want to adopt you?”

  My brain goes numb as Ed’s question shoots through me. There were times when I might have answered right away, but now that I’m actually faced with the decision I don’t know what I want.

  “That’s not fair, Ed,” Aunt Millie squeals. “You’ve got no right.”

  “Neither do you.” Before I have time to say anything they’re back to their squabbling again.

  A rattling sound behind me catches my attention. I never thought I’d be so happy to hear someone banging at the back door. Maybe whoever it is can talk some sense into the three of them. I hurry and lift the latch. Ed’s question follows me. The wind pulls the latch from my hands and the door bangs against the house, bringing their squabbling to a sudden halt.

  “What the devil are you doing here on Christmas Eve?” barks Aunt Millie, climbing down from her perch.

  I can tell from the height and the clothes, and the way he’s standing, that it’s Jim Merry. He comes through the door, bringing an armful of cold air with him.

  “Evelyn…” he manages to get out.

  Not Evelyn, I want to cry out. Not on Christmas! Not on any day! I can’t bear to hear what he’s going to say to next.

  “What about Evelyn?” Even Aunt Millie’s voice is shaky. Jim looks around the room.

  “He’s awake,” he croaks. “Evelyn’s awake. He wants to see you. He wants to see you now, Cammie. Can you come?”

  ---

  “I…was…with…Beecher,” Evelyn says when it’s just the two of us in his bedroom. His words come out slow. But I’m patient. I’ll sit here all night if I have to.

  “Your bother? But you were only a baby when he, you know….” It’s too weird to say the word “died” out loud.

  He swallows and blinks his eyes. “I didn’t…know right away. I…I…thought he was…just a…a...kid…but then he…he told me who he was.” Evelyn’s voice isn’t much more than a whisper.

  “Maybe it was a dream,” I say. “I mean, you did hurt your head.”

  Closing his eyes, he keeps talking. “Pa…Pa was there, but he…he didn’t know me. Like…I was in the past. But…how? It was…so mixed up.”

  “We’ve all been so worried, Evelyn. Everyone in Tanner and Sheppard Square. We’ve all been hoping you’d wake up!”

  He closes his eyes and I wait for what he has to say next. He shakes his head. “I was…with him…I…I…was with Beecher…And…” He swallows. “Pa was nice.”

  “He is nice. Ever since you got hurt. Your pa stopped drinking. He’s a new man, Evelyn! Everyone says so. You did it. You got your pa to change. And that steer you’ve always wanted, he’s standing in the pasture waiting for you. He’ll make a good sloop ox once you get him broke,” I say, like I know what I’m talking about when it comes to cattle.

  Evelyn looks up from the bed and gives me a lopsided grin. No one can imagine how many times I’ve dreamed up that smile of Evelyn’s in my head.

  A peculiar look spreads across his face right before he says, “You be…believe me, C…Cammie, don’t you—

  about Beecher?”

  And I have no choice but to nod my head. When your best friend wakes up from a six-month sleep and tells you he’s been with his dead brother this whole time, the only thing you ca
n do is believe him.

  Chapter Twenty-seven

  Ed gabs all the way to the train station in Kentville like words are going out of style. He talks about all the things we’ll do once the school year is over.

  “There are some places I’d like to show you. Have you been to the ocean?”

  “I’ve never been much of anywhere.”

  “We’ll have to change that when you come home for the summer,” he says, smiling. He promises Miranda will write to me every week. “I’m not much for letter-writing myself, but Miranda sure is.”

  At the train station he rubs my head before I step onto the platform. “You’re sure about your decision?” he says. “It’s not too late to change your mind. Miranda and I can petition the courts.”

  “I’m sure…at least for now,” I say looking over at him. “How about you?”

  “So long as Millie keeps up her end of things,” he says. “Four weeks in the summer and some time over the Christmas break.”

  “That’s what she promised,” I say, nodding in agreement. “And we’ve got something on her now.” Aunt Millie being the least bit co-operative, now that’s something I could never have dreamed up.

  “There won’t be anything written down,” says Ed.

  “I don’t need papers to tell me who my family is,” I say.

  “We won’t be your run-of-the-mill family. I mean, we’re not even under the same roof.”

  “Think about it, Ed; would you and Miranda really want to live with Aunt Millie and Drew?”

  Ed laughs. “You have a point.” I pause, feeling a bit awkward. These heart-to-heart talks with Ed will take some getting used to.

  “You’re not disappointed?” I ask just as the conductor calls out, “All aboard!”

  “Disappointed?”

  “You know, because I’m going to stay at Aunt Millie’s, too.” I kick the platform with my shoe. “It’s just…well…I don’t really need anyone to adopt me.” I used to think it would be easy, never seeing Aunt Millie again, especially those times when we squabble over things, but it’s complicated. And then there’s Evelyn to consider. Bad enough I’m away at school, how would I tell him I was moving to Sheppard Square? We’d probably never see each other again. At the rate he’s going, the doctor says he’ll be back to his old self in no time. Even so, that doesn’t mean I’m going to turn my back on him. Miss Turner was right about true friends being like diamonds.