Heartbreaker

by Maddie Wade

  A commotion at the entrance to Sweet Heaven has me coming to my feet. I’m striding that way before Jake can stop me. Three police officers emerge with a man struggling between them. Fury burns through my blood when I catch sight of him.

  “You,” I growl and launch myself at Alex. Jake and Corey grab hold of me as I fight to get free. I’m going to rip his fucking head off.

  “No, you’re not meant to be here, she is mine. I love her more than you.” His eyes are crazed as he screams obscenities at me. Two hefty policemen walk him past me and shove him into the police van as he carries on his tirade.

  A paramedic rushes past me and my legs become unglued, I shake off Jake and Corey. “I’m okay, I need to see her.” I take the steps to her flat two at a time. Walking into her flat that smells of her, my body feels weak as I see her on the floor with paramedics applying oxygen to her face. Blood covers one eyebrow and she tries to sit up but is pushed back down by the paramedic.

  Relief so strong rushes through me to see her alive and awake that my legs almost give way. I move closer and her groggy eyes meet mine as I kneel beside her.

  “Jackson,” she cries, and I take her soft smooth hand in mine, never wanting to let go.

  “Sshh, it’s okay. Just rest, you’re safe now.” All I can think as they take her down the stairs and load her into the ambulance with Taylor fussing around her is I let her down.

  I follow her to the hospital in Jake’s car, my brother hasn’t left my side and I am grateful for that. My head is a complete mess, Taylor had called the man Ethan, but I knew him as Alex my failed apprentice. Had he applied for the job to get closer to Ashley? I had no clue, but it was fucked up.

  When I get to the hospital, I wait in the waiting room for a few hours until a doctor comes to tell us that she is going to be fine. Taylor hugs me, and I limply hug her back.

  “Is there a Jackson here?” the doctor asks, and I look at him before I answer.

  “Yes, that’s me.”

  “She is asking for you.”

  It’s crunch time. If I go in there now, I’ll break down and tell her I love her, beg her to take me back and that would be a mistake. I let her down, I don’t deserve her. She is better off without me because it is only a matter of time before I let her down again and I don’t ever want to do that and see the hurt in her eyes. The same hurt my father put in my mother’s eyes. I am my father’s son it would seem and no good can come of a woman as good and perfect as Tinkerbell loving me.

  I look into the doctor’s eyes and with a heart heavy with grief and the knowledge that I’ll never love anyone other than her I turn and walk away.

  Chapter 27

  Ashley

  Finally, the doctors have stopped messing with my head. I told them it was a little cut and with some painkillers I will be fine, but no they want to check everything over. I mean when they say look at the light then ask how many fingers they are holding, all I see is the flashlight still in my vision.

  I look over at the door and see Taylor walking in, which is surprising when I asked to see Jackson, and the look on her face tells me what I don’t want to hear. He left.

  “Ash…”

  “Leave it, it’s fine,” I tell her, there is nothing that she can say to me to make me feel any better. I thought Jackson coming to the shop meant we would talk things through, but no.

  “The doctor says I can go home,” I tell her. I just want to go home and sleep, it’s been a shit two days and I thought seeing Jackson would make it better, but he made his choice and chose to walk away from us.

  “Let’s go, me and Corey will be staying with you tonight, so don’t even bother fighting about it with me,” she tells me and at the moment I don't have the energy to fight her about anything.

  Sitting in the car I look out the window. My head is all over the place at the moment, the man I fell in love with lied to me, and then walked away when something like this happened to me, and the man I thought was my friend was always my stalker.

  “You know I freak out when you’re quiet,” Taylor breaks me out of my thoughts, and I look at her watching me.

  “Just thinking about Ethan,” I tell her. I mean I thought he was our friend, maybe he was our friend, but I did something for him to get the wrong idea about us. I make a list in my head all the things we did together as a group, and nothing seems out of what I normally do with them. I mean all the sex advice and lessons, Taylor did them not me. I just watched and never got involved with that.

  “He turned out to be a crazy one,” Taylor says, and I just nod my head, crazy is one way to put it. “The doctor did say that you might not be able to sleep well tonight, so I thought I would jump in with you and Corey can take the couch.”

  “Yeah that’s fine.” I don’t really fancy being on my own in my room anyway, just thinking about what Ethan could have done makes my blood run cold.

  Corey parks outside the shop, and I make my way to my flat. The first thing I want to do is have a shower, I need to wash this day off me. “Having a shower,” I tell Taylor as I shut the door behind me. Taking my phone, I look to see if Jackson has sent me a message. Nothing, and my thumb hovers over his name. Do I call him or not? I mean I want to know why he thought walking away from this after what happened to me is okay.

  I stare at his name for ten minutes before I throw my phone on the floor and turn the shower on. I shouldn’t have to feel like this, I’m the one that was lied too, I’m the one that was attacked not him, so he should be the one looking at my name on his phone, and feeling like shit, not me.

  *~*~*

  I told Taylor that I wanted to pop out this morning. I wanted a change, sometimes a change is good, and at the moment I feel like shit and maybe a new hair colour is what I need to make me feel even a little good about myself.

  Walking into the shop Taylor whistles at me. “You know Ash, I don’t think there are many people out there that can pull of the look, but the unicorn hair colour looks amazing on you.”

  “Thank you, I wanted a new look.” I look over at the door and my mood changes as I see two police officers walking my way.

  “Ashley?” I give them a nod. “We were hoping that we could take your statement and go over the details again?” I swallow the fear I am feeling and nod again. “Ethan seems to believe that you two are in a relationship, have been for a while now. It seems he was posing as a man named Alex and had sought employment with your partner at a company called The Heartbreaker,” the female detective says slowly.

  I look over at Taylor. I still wonder why he thinks that about us, I never once thought that he liked me romantically. I can’t believe he got a job with Jackson to get close to me. “Am I in any danger?” I ask, hating the fear in my voice and grateful for Taylor next to me.

  “If we could talk somewhere more private?”

  “Yes, if you want to come to the back of the shop.” I lead them over and Taylor follows. “Where is he now?”

  “He has been charged with kidnap and actual bodily harm as well as stalking he is being held until his hearing, we are recommending he not get bail and be held on remand until his trial. Can you please tell us a little about your relationship with the defendant? Ethan is saying you two have been dating.”

  “We haven’t ever dated, he has never even asked me out. I don’t know what to tell you that I didn’t tell the other police officers at the hospital,” I reply bewilderment making it hard for me to concentrate; I can’t believe this is happening. I go over everything that happened after I left Jackson, fighting tears, and wishing like hell that he was here with me. I answer questions about my friendship with Ethan, how we met, if I had noticed anything off about him. Finally, they have asked everything, I sign my official statement. I am completely drained, and my head is hurting. I just want Jackson to hold me and tell me I am safe, that he won’t leave me, but that isn’t going to happen, he made his choice.

  “We will leave you to rest but if you need anything please call us.” She
hands me the card for victim support and another with their contact details on it.

  “Thank you,” I say on automatic pilot as I hear the buzzer letting us know the someone has come into the shop, and Taylor walks out. I take the cards from the officer, and put them into my back pocket, as I look at Taylor opening the door.

  “Your brother is back.”

  Giving her a nod, I watch my baby brother as he watches the police leave. I walk over to his open arms, and he holds me tight and kisses my head.

  “You okay sis?” I nod into his shoulder, for now I feel safe, but what about later when I am alone and they’ve all left?

  *~*~*

  I spend most of the morning talking to my brother about what the plan is. I just want it to be over with. I don’t want Ethan to go to prison, if there is something wrong with him. I want him to get better. But I don’t want him doing this to anyone else, he is unstable, and he needs help before someone gets killed.

  “The shop is all closed up,” Taylor says as she pops her head into the kitchen. “You still going to get the tattoo?”

  Walking over to her I grab my bag. “Yeah, thought I would get something new, it’s been awhile,” I say leaving the shop with her and Finn.

  Chapter 28

  Jackson

  I stumble to the kitchen and pull open the fridge, it’s empty, except for some fermenting fruit with fur and some milk that does not pass the sniff test. I decide to forgo food, I’m not hungry anyway, so I grab a beer, slam the door and walk unsteadily back to the living room.

  My hair is greasy, I haven’t showered in days and I have the start of a pretty good beard. I don’t care though. I don’t care about anything anymore. The only thing I care about is her and I have let her down so badly that I don’t even deserve to share the air she breathes.

  Picking up my phone I put on the playlist I have created like some fifteen-year-old girl. It is all the songs we texted each other, everyone that comes on reminds me of her in some way. The night we went out on our first date and she teased me about eating like a slob.

  The weekend we spent in Disney, every song has a meaning, it tells the story of our short time together. Just a few months but the happiest of my life. She had taken the man I was and made him better, made him fun and brought out all the things I buried so deep, scared to show weakness, and be laughed at.

  My Tinkerbell had taken the man scared of fun, scared of letting go, and made him fun again, shown him that life was for living and that every day was a gift to be treasured. But in the end, I had bailed on her.

  I had known my job would be an issue and still I had hidden it knowing that if she had found out she would leave me. Was that why I had done it, was it a self-fulfilling prophecy? I knock back a swig of beer and my stomach roils. Leaning my head back on the back of the couch I fold my arm over my face and lie there listening as the music washes over me.

  It is a balm and a curse, the words ripping a hole in my soul deep enough to bury any chance I had of a future or at least any meaningful future, with her. I know deep down that I am drunk, and part of this melancholy is alcohol induced but being sober means facing up to what a cowardly piece of crap I am. Just like my old man, when the going gets tough Jackson gets going.

  I have become the man I hate, the man who nearly broke my mother, the kindest most loving woman a man could ask for, and he took her heart and smashed it into the ground, when he walked away and left us.

  I can still remember her crying every night for weeks and weeks after he left. I swore then that I would never be like him. Then I swore I would never be a weak fool again, falling for peoples lies and I broke both of those vows.

  My phone pings beside me and I grab it, holding it up to see who it is. A tiny dart of hope that it is Ashley fades when I see Jakes name.

  Jake: Clean yourself up, mums on her way over. And for God’s sake open some windows.

  I throw the phone down and groan, fucks sake I can’t cope with mum right now. I know it’s a waste of time messaging him back if mum has decided, then she has decided. She is small, but she is mighty.

  I walk slowly to the bathroom. Shedding my clothes I step into the still cold shower, the ice-cold water hits my skin like tiny pinpricks, making me shiver. I let the cold water wash away my booze induced haze, before turning it to scolding hot and cleaning away the dirt of the last few days.

  I quickly dry off and throw on shorts and a t-shirt, leaving my feet bare and my hair wet. Crossing to the kitchen I start a pot of coffee. The doorbell rings a few minutes later and I walk lethargically to answer it.

  Pulling open the door I see my mother standing there, her face determined as she takes me in, nodding as she pushes past me.

  “This house smells like a cheap bar,” she states as she goes into the kitchen and straight to my cupboards taking out mugs and plates. She then starts to unpack a shopping bag she has with her, it has all the makings for a full English breakfast.

  “Nice to see you to mum,” I say sarcastically. She raises a perfectly arched brow at me, that says I’m not too old for a wallop then ignored my comment.

  “Why are you home moping when that poor baby girl of yours has been through such a thing?” I sit at the island, my head in my hands silently. “Well?’ she says when I don’t answer.

  “I fucked up mum, I fucked up big.”

  “Well of course you did, we all do sometimes. It had to happen, you’re only human.”

  “No, you don’t understand,”

  “Well then make me understand my boy,” she says as she comes around to me placing her hand on my face, her eyes so full of love that I feel it to my bones.

  “We had a fight about my job.”

  “Ah so she found out then.”

  “Wait! what? You know about my job?” I ask cautiously.

  “Of course, I know. I’m your mother, a mother knows everything. I blame that cheap little floozy Jade. She was always a wrong ‘un, though she was better than everyone, her folks were the same.”

  “Are you ashamed?” I ask incredulously.

  “Ashamed that you built up a successful business from scratch with nothing but your wits and your hard work? Don’t be ridiculous son. I wouldn’t have chosen that field myself but ashamed? Never. Both my boys make me proud every day.”

  I snort and turn away not wanting her to see the shame in my eyes, not wanting her to see how I have turned into him.

  “She needed me, mum. She was scared and hurt and when she needed me I walked away. It’s my fault she got hurt and when she needed me I ran like the coward I am. I ran just like he did.” I feel her sit beside me, but I can’t face her condemnation.

  “Like who?” She sounds confused, how can she not know?

  “Like the bastard that fathered me.”

  “Jackson,” she sharply and I look at her angry red face. “Don’t speak that way about your father.”

  “Really mum, how can you defend him?” I stand and angrily I start to pace, my stride quick as I try to outrun the anger that burns in me.

  “I’m not defending him, I’m defending me. Your father was not ready to settle down and I knew it, but I was so in love, so blinded that I didn’t care. He was a good husband to begin with and I loved him so much and I believe in his way he loved me. When you boys came along he was so proud, he used to take you everywhere with him, you especially were his shadow. You worshipped him.”

  I sit with rapped attention listening as my mother tells me things I have never heard.

  “He lost his job when you were in infant’s school, depression claimed him, and we fought about money, day in, day out we fought until one night I told him to go. I loved him, but I couldn’t do it anymore. We still loved each other, but we were toxic together and it was affecting you boys. So, he agreed. He stayed in touch for a while but as you know he has always been periodic. He still maintains that he doesn’t visit because he can’t stand to be around us knowing he let us down.”

  “So why did I h
ear you cry every night?” I ask my voice husky with emotion.

  “I was scared, I had two gorgeous boys to raise on my own and despite how it was at the end I grieved for what we could have had. I loved him, I still do in some ways, he gave me you and Jake and that is why I don’t hate him. How could I hate the man who gave me you and Jake?

  “I thought I was like him, I ran away.”

  My mother pulls me to her and I let her. “Jackson, you are like him in so many ways, but all the good ones. Your father was not strong like you are. You look after everyone, always wanting to fix things and stop people getting hurt, even if it hurts you. Can’t you see you are such a good man and I am so very proud of you. I know you feel you let her down and maybe you did, but nothing is so broken it cannot be fixed.”

  “Do you think so?” I ask hope filling me.

  “Do you love her?”

  I answer without thought. “More than I thought possible.”

  “Then you must fix it, this is not a practice run, Jackson and if you let her get away without fighting for her then you are not the man I thought you were.”

  I nod but say nothing, I have a lot to process and my brain is Swiss cheese. My mum stands and goes into the kitchen, where she finishes making me breakfast. I eat it with her at my kitchen island and we chat about inconsequential things, it feels good.

  I know I need some time before I rush over to see Ashley, I need to do this right. Figure out the direction my life is going to take, what changes I need to make for her to accept me.

  Striding into the office, I glance at Lindy’s desk, she isn’t there. I lean over and spot her bag. Relief washes through me, she has been by my side since I started this business and she knows it inside and out.

  I don’t know what I am going to do with this business, but I know whatever it is I want Lindy to help me set it up. I push open the office door and she is sitting at my desk. She looks up, her eyes quickly surveying me, she instantly hides the concern I saw and frowns.