Tipping Point

by Maisie Johansson

  The cool sea breeze felt like heaven on her heated skin. Sweet relief after the stuffiness of the marquee and all of those not so subtle hints about her and Rhetta being next. It had overwhelmed her. Made her head spin. Now that she knew that Rhetta wanted a future with her in, she couldn’t help but dwell on all of the ways she might fuck it up. All of the ways that she could disappoint Rhetta. All of the ways she could turn their happily ever after into a nightmare divorce or, even worse, a loveless marriage that neither of them would have the courage to end. How could she sit in a room full of love when all she could think about was losing hers?

  “I thought I might find you out here.”

  Caroline smiled when she heard that voice. “You should be inside, enjoying the party.”

  Charlie laughed as she reached Caroline’s side. “It’s my wedding, I can watch the sunset with you if I want to.”

  “How did you know I was here?”

  “I saw you making your escape and thought that I’d join you.” She sighed, happy but exhausted, and looped her arm through Caroline’s, leaning her weary head on Caroline’s shoulder. “It’s all been a little overwhelming. I’m supposed to be changing into my party dress but I needed a little break first.”

  “Take all the time you need. I’ll be your perch,” Caroline smiled.

  “Thanks, Caro.”

  They stood in comfortable silence for a long moment, looking out at the ocean, before Caroline broke it. “You look so beautiful, Charlie. I honestly don’t think I’ve ever seen a more beautiful bride. That husband of yours is one lucky guy.”

  Charlie smiled and leaned up to press a kiss to Caroline’s cheek. “Thanks, Caro. Just wait until it’s your Rhetta in a white dress.” She laughed. “I can’t wait to see your face.”

  Despite her worries, Caroline couldn’t help but smile at the thought of that moment. It gave her goosebumps.

  “Were you scared?” Caroline asked. “After Josef proposed, were you-”

  “Terrified,” Charlie admitted.

  For the first time since Charlie had joined her, Caroline tore her eyes away from the waves and turned to look at her. “You were?”

  “Of course,” Charlie smiled. “It’s a really big deal. Everyone’s scared.”

  Caroline wondered if Rhetta was scared too. It made her panic even more.

  “And you can bet that Rhetta is too,” Charlie said, as if she could read Caroline’s thoughts. “I knew that he was either going to propose or break up with me that whole week because he was acting so weird. I didn’t know which possibility terrified me more. But that didn’t mean that I didn’t scream ‘yes’ the moment he got down on one knee.”

  “What were you afraid of?” Caroline knew why she was afraid. Knew why Josef might have been. But Charlie had no reason. Nor did Rhetta.

  “Because if you love someone as much as I love him and Rhetta loves you, you’re scared that you’ll mess it up, because you know that if it all falls apart, you will too.” When Caroline still looked confused, Charlie changed her tactic. “Think of it like the World Cup final. You’ve worked so damn hard to get there, that finally being on that pitch is the most terrifying thing in the world. You’ve finally gotten to where you want to be, but actually getting that cup depends on you not screwing up. Only being married is like a match that never ends. You don’t just have to play your best for 90 plus minutes, you have to do it for the rest of your life. But the best part is that you’ve already won and the person you’re married to isn’t another team that’s hell bent on taking it away from you. They’re on your team and they aren’t going to pounce the moment that you make a mistake, they’re going to be there to pull you back onto your feet, wipe the grass or your ass and cheer you on. You and Rhetta have already been through more than most married couples have. You’ve gotten this far because you’re both in this for the win. You’re both in this for your happy ever after.”

  “Damn, Charlie, when did you get to be so wise?” Caroline breathed, hoping desperately that the pinkness of the evening light would hide the blush that she could feel heating up her cheeks.

  “I don’t know. I guess Janine has finally rubbed off on me.” Charlie’s smile fell and the mood suddenly changed. “How’s she doing?”

  Caroline shrugged. “She’s Janine. Nothing really seems to phase her. Natalie’s making an effort to make sure she’s included and doesn’t feel like the odd one out in a group of couples. We’ll look after her.”

  Charlie looked at her feet. “That’s good.”

  “Charlie!” a voice called from over near the tent. They were hidden from view and Charlie showed no signs of running off to answer them.

  “You’re really great, you know that?” Charlie said, looking out towards to ocean. “You’re one of the best friends any of us could ever have. You’re always there for all of us, no matter what. You’re an incredible player and the national team is lucky to have you. They sure as hell don’t deserve you. You’re an incredible keeper and the best role model that every little girl who comes to see us play could ever hope to have. Rhetta’s lucky to have you. Don’t ever doubt that.”

  Charlie words, especially about her as a player, caught Caroline off guard. “You really believe all of that?”

  Caroline’s shy tone made Charlie grin. “Of course I do, silly. Why else do you think I’m stood out here with you when I should be cutting my wedding cake?”

  Caroline’s mouth dropped open. “Charlie!”

  “What? It’s not like they can do it without me?” Charlie chuckled. “And besides, I’m not leaving until you promise me that before 2015 is out, I’ll be dancing at your wedding.”

  The thought of her and Rhetta’s wedding day gave Caroline butterflies. As scared as she was, she couldn’t deny that thought of marrying Rhetta was the single happiest thought that she had ever had.

  “I promise.”

  “Good, now go dance with your girl. I have a party dress to change into.”

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  Caroline awoke the next day with a pounding headache and a deep desire to never drink liquor again. She also woke to see a disturbingly chipper Rhetta smiling at her from her spot on their shared pillow.

  “How are you smiling?” Caroline groaned as she turned her face into the pillow, blocking out the painful sun and Rhetta’s mocking smile.

  “Because I switched to water at 1am,” Rhetta sing-songed far too smugly for Caroline’s liking. “It’s not my fault that you guys decided to split a bottle of bourbon between you ‘for old time’s sake’.”

  Why does she always have to taunt me when I’m hungover? Caroline thought miserably.

  “Forget it, you can find someone else to propose to you,” Caroline mumbled into the pillow, her face so tightly smashed against it that all Rhetta heard was a string of disgruntled sounds. Thankfully.

  Rhetta’s sweet laugh rung almost pleasantly in Caroline’s ears and she felt a soft kiss pressed to the back of her head. Surprisingly, Rhetta’s laugh was the only sound that didn’t make her headache worse.

  “What was that, mumbles?” Rhetta asked, her voice still sickeningly cheerful.

  Caroline couldn’t see Rhetta’s face, but she was sure that if she could, she would see that goofy smile that Rhetta always got when she was making a joke at Caroline’s expense. Which was often.

  Screwing her eyes shut to block out the light, Caroline turned her head back towards he sound of Rhetta’s voice. “I said that next time I try to drink that much, you have permission to stop me. Take my wallet away, ground me, out me in a time-out – whatever it takes.”

  There was that laugh again. It taunted Caroline with its singular ability to make the throbbing in her head lessen. With her eyes still closed, she groped for the bottle of water by the bed and pulled open the sports cap with her teeth, trying not to throw up. Rhetta wouldn’t be laughing if that happened.

  “I don’t know, Caro. I’m pretty sure that should be a job for your wife.”

 
; What little water that gravity had dripped into Caroline’s mouth went shouting back out again. The resultant coughing fit sent her scrambling to the bathroom, clutching her stomach and covering her mouth. She only just reached the toilet in time.

  Rhetta bit her lip and giggled. She knew that Caroline would feel better once she threw up. It was always better to get it over with sooner rather than later. “Was it something I said?”

  * * *

  It was late evening before Caroline had fully recovered.

  They were heading back to LA in the morning, but they had their hotel room for one more night. Most of the guests had already left, but Rhetta had planned ahead for Caroline’s rough morning and had decided that a long car ride would be a definite no. Plus, they would be separated enough in the next few months, what with being allocated to separate rooms at camps and then in Canada. She wanted to take her time alone with Caroline whilst she could.

  “I’m staaaaaaaaaaaaaarving!” Caroline whined, throwing back her head to emphasize her distress that their meals hadn’t been brought to them the moment that they had ordered.

  “Well it has been almost 24 hours since you ate anything,” Rhetta reminded her, smiling at the memory of Caroline escaping onto the balcony that afternoon to escape the ‘unbearable stench’ of Rhetta’s chicken caesar salad. She hadn’t seen Caroline that hung over since their time in Germany. Her keeper was far too sensible for things like that nowadays. Rhetta was proud of her. But if she couldn’t let loose at a joint wedding/New Years party, surrounded by their friends, when could she?

  “Don’t remind me,” Caroline grumbled, rubbing her empty belly and pouting.

  “You’re cute when you’re drunk, you know that?” Rhetta smiled as she took a sip of her wine.

  Caroline groaned and hid her face in her hands. “What did I do this time?”

  “Nothing too bad, don’t worry. I kept you on a somewhat tight leash when we were at the party.” Rhetta couldn’t stop her grin from widening. “So nothing too bad in public.”

  “Which means I did something stupid when we got back to our room,” Caroline pouted. “Please tell me.”

  “Well, at first you were all hyper. You sat cross-legged on the bed with your eyes as wide as they could go and told me over and over how pretty I am whilst I got ready for bed,” Rhetta recounted. “Then you insisted that we go down to the store in the lobby so that you could buy that kids shark onesie that you were totally convinced that you could fit into, never mind the fact that it was 3.30 am and there was no way that the store was open. Once I managed to get that notion out of your head, you got the brilliant idea to make Charlie a wedding memento by recreating her bouquet out of toilet paper.”

  Caroline’s head hit the table. “Please tell me that you stopped me.”

  Rhetta giggled. “I did. Once I finally got you into bed, you clambered on top of me, rested your head on my chest and then proceeded to tell me everything that you love about me until you finally fell asleep at about 6am.”

  “Please kill me now,” Caroline muttered into the table cloth.

  There were people on neighbouring tables staring, but Rhetta didn’t care. Some had been staring ever since Caroline pulled out her chair for her, might as well give them something to stare at. She found Caroline’s overdramatic reactions endearing. If other people didn’t, that was their problem.

  “Not a chance, stud,” Rhetta giggled. “You’re far too cute for that.”

  Caroline sat back up, a cartoon frown turning down the corners of her lips. “Please tell me that I didn’t say anything too embarrassing.”

  She really, really hoped that she hadn’t let it slip about the ring that she had bought in San Diego. She planned on remembering her proposal.

  “Well, some of my personal favourites were that you love me because I helped you unscrew the Nutella jar when your hand was injured and without that you would have starved; that you love me because you’re pretty sure that I was a dolphin in a past life because, you know, the smile; that you love me because I smell like angels; and that you love me because I have pretty eyes with sparkles in them.” Rhetta grinned, crinkling her nose.

  “I’m sorry,” Caroline winced.

  “Why are you sorry? It was cute. You’re cute.”

  Caroline blushed. “You already said that.”

  “What? I’m not allowed to call you cute? Or adorable? Or devastatingly beautiful?” Rhetta teased. She knew that even now Caroline had a hard time accepting Rhetta’s compliments. She always said that she was the one who should be giving Rhetta compliments. Rhetta didn’t see why it couldn’t work both ways.

  “Here we are, ladies. Enjoy!” their waiter announced, sweeping in with their plates and placing them on the table with a flourish. He winked before he left and Caroline had to bite her lip to stop herself from laughing at how over the top he was.

  “Well at least I’m not that obvious,” she quipped when the waiter was out of earshot.

  Rhetta shrugged and speared a tomato off her plate. “I don’t care if you are. You’re you. You’re perfect.”

  They chatted about this and that whilst they ate, but Caroline’s thoughts kept coming back to ‘being obvious’. She had changed a lot since her and Rhetta had met. They had matured, developed their own styles. She knew that Rhetta loved her in a suit, but she also knew that she liked her in a little makeup to go with it.

  “Do you ever wish that I wasn’t?” Caroline asked as they tucked into their shared slice of pecan pie.

  “Do I ever wish that you weren’t what?”

  “You know, obvious.”

  “What? No!” Rhetta seemed almost angry that Caroline might think that. It made Caroline’s heart beat faster. “Never. Not once. I told you, you’re perfect.”

  Caroline winced. “I just… Sometimes I think it’s my fault that people guess that we’re together.”

  “I think it has more to do with the way that we look at each other, Caro,” Rhetta said softly. She took a deep breath and said what she had been thinking ever since their date night. She had been scared at first, but every moment that she spent with Caroline made her more and more sure that this was what she wanted. “You know those videos they want us to do for the World Cup.?”

  Caroline frowned, confused by the sudden change of subject. “Erm… Yeah. The ones they told us about in Brasilia, right? Like the guys did before their World Cup?”

  “Right. Well they’re going to ask us stuff…” Rhetta said, trailing off lamely.

  “Yeah, R. It is an interview. It’s kind of what they’re for,” Caroline joked around a mouth full of pie.

  “I mean that they’re going to ask us questions about our lives. About our inspirations and our families,” Rhetta explained, watching to see when Caroline would catch on.

  Caroline was oblivious. “Oh. What’re you going to tell them? Something about Sam?”

  “Yeah, I am going to mention him and my parents. But I mostly want to talk to them about you.”

  Caroline suddenly lost interest in her food. “Oh yeah?”

  “I want to tell them about how I wouldn’t be the player that I am today without my wonderful, beautiful girlfriend by my side. How I would never have come back from my injury the way I did without her. How I strive to be better every day because I want to make her proud. How I couldn’t be more proud of her and how she’s made me the happiest woman on earth,” Rhetta said, looking deep into Caroline’s eyes. She wanted her to hear it. To hear how true it was and how it would be impossible for Rhetta to tell her story without telling their story too.

  Tears slipped down Caroline’s cheeks and she breathed deep to try to stop them. She didn’t brush them away. It wasn’t Caroline’s way. “You mean that you want to…”

  She couldn’t say it. Maybe she was misunderstanding.

  “Come out,” Rhetta confirmed, looking nervous for the first time since she steered the conversation that way. “If it’s alright with you. I don’t want to hold back
anymore. When we win, I want to run up to you and kiss you with everything I have.”

  Caroline’s mouth was dry and her pulse was thumping. “Fuck, R. You mean it?”

  Rhetta bit her lip and nodded. “Yeah, I do.”

  “So we’re really going to do this? We’re going to come out?”

  The grin on Caroline’s face made any lingering doubt that Rhetta had melt away. She would always be scared. Just like she was scared before she told every new person in her life. She had done it a thousand times, but it never got easier. It never hurt less to see the disgust in some people’s faces. There would be some backlash. She knew that. Probably more so because she and Caroline were together. But that would never change and she couldn’t hide forever.

  “We really are.”

  Caroline knew then and there that she’d have to propose before Rhetta recorded that video. She didn’t want Rhetta telling the world that Caroline was her girlfriend. She wanted her to tell them that she was her fiancée.

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  When they arrived at the team hotel, Rhetta’s heart sank. She loved team camps. They pushed her to her limits and as an athlete that was what she thrived on. But the rules at camp were strict. They were to be followed. Especially with the naming of the World Cup roster so close on the horizon. Their relationship had to be put aside for the duration of camp. But right now, Rhetta felt closer to Caroline than she ever had before. She didn't know whether she would be able to stand it.

  “Here we are, Princess,” Caroline grinned as she put their rental car into park. “You ready to kick all those other defenders asses?”

  Rhetta’s stomach flipped over. She was nervous and excited and charmed by Caroline’s humour all at the same time.

  “You bet! You ready to show everyone who’s the real number 1 keeper?” she teased back.