Playing Hearts

by W. R. Gingell

  Now I wished I’d made more of an effort. Maybe asked Jack. He wouldn’t have told me, but I might have been able to trick it out of him. Sometimes he had been relaxed enough to say more than he meant to. In my fear and confusion it took me too long to remember that I still had my own ways of finding things out. All I needed to do was find a source of liquid. What I saw in the ripples would tell me what had happened. In the last three years I had learned a thing or two about the ripples—and more than a thing or two about the Queen, whose skill in the Mirror Hall may have earned her more information about me than I would have liked her to have—and I knew exactly what to do. Hatter, of course, had talked madly of possibilities and probabilities when I first met him: it was only a short step from there to realising that if I was clever about it, I could see more than the present in the ripples. I’d already learned that I could alter things in the ripples—stretch time and space, and make things that Weren’t as if they Were—and not only did I learn, I improved. It was a talent that had never much helped me in what I was seeing less and less as the ‘real’ world, but it was very useful in Underland. I had only ever managed to see a few seconds into the future; and even then, I had never actually proved even to myself that it was the future. The past was much easier. Like the Hatter had said at the time, it wasn’t so much a matter of looking backwards, but Seeing Things Differently. I found myself wondering, as I searched the smashed crockery for any unbroken teacups, exactly how much the Queen could see in her Mirror Hall. I doubted she could see into the past: there were too many people who would have been in her dungeons if she could. That she could make the same kinds of changes I could make in the ripples was certain: I’d seen her do it myself. Now I wondered if it was possible that she saw the future instead.

  I searched among the broken porcelain for some time, but none of the cups were whole enough to contain so much as a drop of tea, and all of the teapots had been smashed to smithereens. Even Hatter and Hare’s pretty little pond had been drained. The Queen had been incredibly thorough. I put Hatter’s hat on my head to keep it out of the general mess, and it wasn’t until I dashed it off my head again in frustration that it occurred to me how silly I had been. I’d seen Hatter use the reflective patches on his hat to do much more than provide a pretty head covering. I made a sound of disgust at my own stupidity and sat down on a fragment of chair that remained amidst the general wreckage, setting the hat on my knees. As I looked at it, one of the flashy pieces reflected a scrap of something from some time that wasn’t now. I narrowed my eyes on it, hunching over the hat. At first there was only darkness and the sensation of something missing. Then I saw Hatter and Hare at the tea table, Hatter pouring tea into the sugar bowl and gravely stirring the sugary mess with a twig, and Hare thumping the side of the table vigorously with his hind leg. He still had his crutch with him– he had begun carrying it with him when he lost his front paw, despite the fact that he didn’t need it in order to get around and that it meant his one remaining front paw was occupied. With the crutch he was buttering crumpets and offering them to Hatter. They looked up at the same time– looked right at me, and I thought for a moment that they could see me. Then the reflection...disappeared. Well, not quite disappeared. It was more like the reflection suddenly lost sight of Hatter and Hare and was showing me a dark, blank screen instead. I hadn’t seen anything like it in my ripples before. I was still frowning at the blank nothingness of it when all of a sudden, there was the tea-table again. Only this time it was smashed to pieces and Hatter and Hare were gone. The scene was abandoned. No, not quite abandoned: I caught a flash of movement at the farthest corner I could discern, and saw...Jack. It was Jack! Walking quickly and purposefully away in his red suit and pointy shoes, surrounded by card sharks.

  I went straight to the Heart Castle. I was so frightened, or angry, or confused, that I pushed through the card sharks at the castle court and then the grand entrance. I had begun to think that the Queen knew of my visits to Underland—had always known of them—and it seemed only natural that they would let me pass. I was instinctively sure that she wouldn’t have me killed: not until she saw me married to Jack, anyway. I didn’t know what to expect after that. I didn’t even know why she wanted us to marry. But I was certain, that day, that none of the card sharks or guards would stop me: and none of them did. I swept past them, my chin high, and stepped briskly through the halls until I found Jack’s suite. This time, when I flung open the door and it cracked against the wall, Jack really did jump. But by then I was too pent up with fury and terror to enjoy it. I simply marched up to him, and when he stepped back, a flash of alarm—or was it anticipation?—in his black-flecked eyes, I followed him step for step.

  “What,” I said in a voice that was cold and precise, shoving him in the chest with every word, “What have you done with Hatter and Hare?”

  “Oh, what a disappointment!” said Jack, forced to sit down unexpectedly on the bed to escape my shoving. “I really expected–”

  “What have you done with Hatter and Hare!”

  “Mab, I really can’t have you assaulting me in this manner. There are other, far more pleasant methods of assault that I can think of off-hand, as a matter of fact; and since I’ve not seen hide nor hair of you for three years now, I do think–”

  “Where are they?”

  “I much prefer to associate with the less subversive elements of Underland, actually,” said Jack. “Mother Dearest, on the other hand, almost certainly knows where your mad little friends are if they have disappeared.”

  “I saw you in the reflections!”

  “I’m more than willing to provide you with all the company you desire, Mab. You don’t have to watch me in the reflections.”

  I made a pleasingly realistic choking noise that caused Jack to raise his brows. “Yuck. Why would I watch you in the reflections? I was looking at the old reflections to see what happened, and–”

  This time it was Jack who made a particularly realistic choking noise. “You were looking at what?”

  “The old reflections,” I said impatiently. “You know, the ones that show what happened instead of what’s really happening.”

  “Ye gods!” said Jack. “No wonder she’s afraid of you! Wait, if you saw what happened, why are you asking me about it? I didn’t do it!”

  “I couldn’t see all of it,” I told him grimly. “The reflection went dark and then the picture was gone. When it cleared, you were there.”

  “I see,” said Jack thoughtfully. “Mother Dearest is up to her old tricks again. She must know what you can do.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “She’s trying to make us distrust each other.”

  “Why? I already don’t like you.”

  Jack sighed. “Mab, could you at least attempt cordiality? She wants us to get married, but she doesn’t want us to get too close to each other. We might start planning things.”

  “I’ve been planning things for years,” I said.

  “I’m perfectly well aware of that, thank you!” said Jack. “It’s the bad company you keep. Do you honestly think they were looking after you, Mab? The quickest way I know to end up in the dungeons or decorating the castle walls with your head is to be planning things in Underland.”

  “Hatter and Hare didn’t know about it,” I told him. I wasn’t sure if that was quite true: both Hatter and Hare had been—were—very cunning. But as with everything else I did in Underland, though they hadn’t encouraged me, they hadn’t stopped me, either. “And they don’t let me get involved.”

  “Wonderful job they’ve been doing,” said Jack, one of his brows raised.

  “You’re one to talk! It’s your fault I’m in Underland at all!”

  For once, Jack looked completely taken aback. “Well really, Mab! To be blaming me for Mother Dearest’s actions is really beyond the pale! I’ve enough of my own faults to be owning to, thank you very much!”

  “Who did she blood-bond me to?” I said grimly. “It wasn’
t Hatter!”

  “I really can’t be blamed for what my mother does in pursuance of power!” said Jack. “And I refuse to be compared with that mad little muck-raker! I’m far better looking, and we won’t even get into the issue of style and fashion, thank you very much.”

  “I like the way Hatter dresses,” I told him stiffly. “It’s better than your horrible pointy shoes, anyway.”

  “Mab, I understand that you’re angry, but I’ll thank you not to mock my choice of apparel! I’ll accept aspersions made upon my character, but– actually, no! As a matter of fact, I won’t! I refuse to take the blame for something that my mother probably did. She’s obviously made it look like I was there, and as much as I admire her skill, I’d like you to know that I wasn’t.”

  “How would she do that?” I demanded. I didn’t trust Jack, and despite the Queen’s way with mirrors, surely she wasn’t capable of making reflections show me something that wasn’t true. Or was that something she could do in the Mirror Hall, too?

  Jack’s eyes were on me, and they had a frozen sort of look to them. “You actually think I could have done this,” he said at last. “I’d be flattered if I thought you knew what sort of skill it takes to pull off a trick like this.”

  “So you had nothing to do with any of it?” I couldn’t help it: my tone made it an accusation.

  Jack shrugged. “There are two things in Underland I know of that could do this sort of job. Neither of which, I hasten to add, I am currently in possession.”

  “Two things?” I looked at him sceptically. “And what are they?”

  “I’m reasonably certain that Hatter’s hat can do it, and just slightly less sure that you’re capable of it.”

  “I have Hatter’s hat,” I said coldly. “And I’m here, so maybe you can think of something else.”

  “I never thought I’d be sorry to see you displaying such subtlety, Mab!” said Jack. “I’m not lying, if that’s what you’re suggesting. As a matter of fact– dear me! Mab, I don’t suppose it was the Hatter’s hat that you used to look back at what happened, was it?”

  I knew in one galling moment what he meant– and what must have happened. I said reluctantly: “I might have.”

  “It never occurred to you to wonder why Mother Dearest didn’t take it with her? Something so valuable and potentially useful?”

  I sighed. “She left it behind because it was more valuable to her here.”

  “I imagine so,” said Jack. “So very like my dear mother! No doubt she’s smiling away to herself at this very moment.”

  “I don’t care if she’s smiling,” I said. It wasn’t true, of course. It was sickening to think how easily the Queen had manipulated me. “I just want to know where Hatter and Hare are.”

  “Not in the dungeons, at any rate,” said Jack. “Mab, I realise that you’re determined to play with lawbreakers and rebels, but was there any need to abscond with the cook and the footmen? Have you any idea how badly card sharks cook?”

  I grinned for the first time that day. So the loss of all the castle servants at once had made an impression! “Serves you right.”

  “Oh, undoubtedly. But it has put you rather at a disadvantage: once upon a time, Mother Dearest would have merely imprisoned them in the dungeon. You’ve encouraged her to greater feats of imagination, I’m afraid.”

  I sobered at once, and I thought Jack winced a little. Was he sorry he’d said it? Why? He’d never shown concern for anyone’s feelings before.

  “I’ll need to use your bathtub,” I said.

  “As always, it is at your disposal,” said Jack. He stood up, which brought me to realise just how adversarially close to him I was, and ushered me toward the bathroom with one arm around my waist.

  “I know where it is,” I said testily, pulling away. I entered the room ahead of him, and found with a slight feeling of familiarity that the bathtub was still as full as it had been last time. Almost as though it had never been emptied, or as though–

  “I still get them to fill it every day,” said Jack, his hands in his pockets and his shoulders leaning against the door frame. “I’m not exactly sure why I bother when all you do is attack me whenever I see you. Verbally and physically, if it comes to that.”

  I threw him an impatient look over my shoulder, and he held up both hands in surrender, lapsing into silence as I turned back to the water in the bathtub.

  This time when I looked into the ripples, they showed me the truth. The Queen had come upon Hatter and Hare suddenly with her card sharks, bundling them into the carriage with her, and had taken them off to goodness knows where. Since it was a piece of the past, fixed and certain, I couldn’t follow them in the ripples when they left. I remained staring at events that had already happened until the card sharks came back, smashing the tea-table and its accoutrements, and deliberately leaving Hatter’s hat where I had found it. I dismissed the sight and sat back on the bathroom floor, surprised to find Jack there beside me with his legs very carefully bent to avoid creasing his trousers as much as possible.

  “I’ve only ever seen Mother do that,” he said. “Only in the Mirror Hall, however, and never like that. She can’t get more than a few seconds into the past. I think it must bother her, because she insists upon telling me that one should never look to the past, but to the future.”

  I huffed a sigh, but it had to be said. “Sorry I thought you were a lying scumbag.”

  “That’s very big of you. Perhaps now you’d care to hear what I have to say?”

  I gave him a disbelieving look. “What, you’re going to help me?”

  “I hate to seem a pedant, Mab,” said Jack. “But I seem to remember helping you out several times over the years.”

  “Helping yourself, you mean,” I said bluntly. “You only help when you can get something out of it.”

  Jack’s eyes narrowed. “I also seem to remember mentioning that sharp tongue of yours. Do you want help, or do you not? And before you open your mouth again, do remember who it is you’re trying to help and consider whether it may not be just as well to be polite.”

  I opened my mouth to be less than polite; and Jack must have known what was coming, because he grabbed me by the nape of the neck and firmly pushed my face into his suit lapels where my mumbled insults were too muffled to be understood. More irritatingly, he patted my head with his other hand and said: “There, there. I’m sure it’ll pass soon. Shh.”

  When I finally managed to wrench my head free he was smiling at me in a way that made me want to punch him. Instead of doing that, I drew a breath and said: “All right, then. Help me.”

  “Amazing. You manage to make even a plea for help sound antagonistic.”

  “That’s because I don’t like you,” I said.

  “Are you quite sure about that?” said Jack, his lips still curving. The way he was looking at me made me very aware that he hadn’t actually let me go: his arms were still around me, and his face was far closer than it had seemed before. Was this what he meant when he said that later things would be less boring, or was he just trying to irritate me?

  I said: “Yeah, pretty sure. Are you going to help, or are you just going to keep annoying me?”

  “That’s hurtful,” said Jack calmly, pulling me to my feet with him as he rose. Somewhere along the way he must have let me go, but it was so gradual that I didn’t realise we were apart until I was trailing after him into the main room. “It’s a good thing I’m inured to offence when it comes to you, Mab.”

  “What is it you want to tell me?” I said. I wasn’t sure I was comfortable with the way the conversation was going, and I wanted to find Hatter and Hare.

  “You’re such a driven little person!” marvelled Jack. “Sit down. Where’s the hat?”

  I looked around me blankly, and found it behind the first sofa. I must have thrown it there as I came in, intent on bodily harm to Jack. I slid over the back of the sofa with it, plumping myself down on the fat black cushions, and found with some annoyance t
hat Jack was sitting down on the same sofa. He was still sitting too close, but I didn’t like to mention it because he was only studying Hatter’s top hat. I didn’t particularly want Jack’s mocking grin directed at me again, and I was pretty sure that protesting against his closeness would be the quickest way of making that happen.

  “The hat is what’s important,” he said, turning it over.

  “Yes, you said,” I said sourly. “She left it so I’d think you took Hatter and Hare.”

  “I hesitate to contradict you, Mab–”

  “But that’s what you said!”

  “Of course, but if I know Mother Dearest it was not merely that which prompted her to leave the hat for you to find. If I know her, she had at least two or three other reasons for doing so.”

  “Which are?”

  Jack shrugged. “I wouldn’t even hazard a guess. Mother Dearest has many reasons and many schemes. The most I can tell you is that yesterday she went out early and returned before nightfall. Card sharks went out again a little later. One presumes that was in order to return the hat.”