Exousia (Karass Chronicles Book 4)

by Beca Lewis

  He knew that Sarah would agree that it was the right thing to do. But if Eric had just not asked, then only Grace would be grieving her husband’s death. Sarah would be comforting her and then going home to her Leif. She could almost imagine the conversation. They would have said, “Poor Grace, what can we do for her?”

  Instead, Sarah and Leif had done the ultimate something for Grace and Eric. They had given up the rest of this lifetime together.

  Eric had asked Leif to take him to the Forest Circle, and they had agreed that since Leif was the one who knew how to do it, he would have to go.

  So even though Sarah would sit on the bench beside Grace every day, both of them mourning, it was Sarah who was also trying not to be angry and guilty because she was angry.

  Grace, on the other hand, although not angry, was overcome with guilt. She had helped Eric ask Leif, knowing that Leif would say yes, and that this would deprive her best friend of the physical presence of the love of her life. Grace often wondered if that made her a monster.

  Before Suzanne Laudry had returned to the Forest Circle she had told Grace that it wasn’t true. Grace wasn’t a monster. She was a woman following a chance to keep Eric in her life rather than losing him. Perhaps she would find him again in another lifetime, but that was never guaranteed.

  Leif too had assured Grace that he thought that there was a more significant reason for Eric’s request. He didn’t know what it was yet, but time would tell. This way, he and Eric both would be around to watch over them. The rest of the Forest Circle had work to do in other dimensions, but Eric and Leif could stay close.

  Over the past seven months, Grace and Sarah had worked hard to overcome, or at least accept, the feelings they both had and to try not to let them come between them. They knew the more significant bond that they had together was the one of loss. In the end, it would make their friendship stronger than ever.

  Sarah did have an advantage. She and Leif could still talk. Sarah could see him, and he visited her as often as possible. Sarah knew that if she was ever in real danger, she just had to reach out to him. But there were times in the middle of the night or in the garden when the physical missing of him was so powerful that she would find herself wailing in her sleep or dropping to her knees sobbing over the loss.

  Grace didn’t have that luxury, and Sarah never talked about it with her. There was no need to made Grace feel worse than she already did. For Grace, Eric was gone almost as effectively as if he had died. Grace had tried over and over again to see Eric. She could feel him near, but she longed to hear his voice and see his familiar form.

  Nothing had worked. Sarah thought it was time to give Grace some relief and a little pleasure. Because what Grace couldn’t see was both Leif and Eric sitting beside them.

  Sarah knew she should be grateful for the fact that she could see Leif there with her. But she couldn’t hold his hand. She couldn’t snuggle against his back at night. She knew she was going to miss those things when she had agreed to this plan. She just didn’t know how much.

  But it was time. She and Leif had talked it over the night before. By not letting go completely she was keeping him from doing his work. He wasn’t going to be gone all the time. He just couldn’t stay in Doveland with her any longer.

  So Sarah turned to Grace to tell her, but as usual, Grace already knew. “I know, Sarah. I have to let him go. I just wish I could learn to see Eric the way you do when he and Leif visit.”

  Sarah smiled at her friend. They both had changed since Leif had taken Eric with him to another dimension instead of letting Eric die.

  “We could try something if you are ready, Grace. Both of them are here now, but you’re right, we have to let them get to work. However, it may be possible to set up a channel through me for you to see Eric when he visits. Would you like to try?”

  There was no need to wait for Grace to answer, her face told it all. Sarah reached out and held her hand and opened herself up to Grace as much as she could manage. Then Sarah drew a line in her heart to Grace and then to Eric. She hadn’t tried to connect them before because the anger and guilt had been blocking her from opening her heart. However, Sarah knew that it was time to let all of it go, and give Eric and Grace the gift she was capable of giving.

  “Oh, I see him,” Grace whispered. “And hear him. He just told me how much he loves me.”

  “I know, Grace,” Sarah said. “The only bad thing about doing it this way is I have to be here with you two. But I think in time you will do this yourself. I’ll try not to listen.”

  But it was impossible not to. Sarah’s heart broke all over again as she heard them talk about their love for each other. When it was time, Leif gave her an air hug and an air kiss, and she let go of Grace’s hand, and the door closed.

  “They’re gone?”

  “For now. But we have work to do ourselves. Are you ready?”

  For an answer, Grace stood as tall as her short stature would let her, brushed off her slacks, grabbed her bag and headed out the door of the church.

  “Meet me at Your Second Home after lunch,” Grace called over her shoulder. “I have an idea.”

  Sarah waited a few more minutes before leaving. She knew what needed to be done. Now that Grace was ready, it was time.

  Four

  Hannah sat on her bed staring at Jay’s picture. She knew that her mom was hoping that she would start to forget her past life, but Hannah knew that would never happen. It wasn’t that Ava was trying to make her forget, she just thought it would be easier for Hannah if she did.

  She is probably right, Hannah thought. But she doesn’t need to worry because remembering doesn’t haunt me like it did my past-dad, Jay. It’s more like a book that I can pick up and read whenever I want to, but it remains closed unless I open it.

  Still, Hannah was grateful to Melvin for thinking about taking a picture of Jay for her the morning of his birthday. The morning he gave his life to save her Uncle Hank. Now she had a picture of him to keep forever. He looked just like she remembered him from both lifetimes.

  She gave the picture one last look and put it back on the table beside her bed. It stayed there along with a photo of Evan—her dad in this lifetime—her mom, and her new brother Ben.

  She missed her adoptive grandfather, Eric. He used to pick her up and take her to school every day. Now she rode the bus. That was fun though. She was making new friends. Besides, riding the bus she heard all the news about what was going on in town.

  If she could, she sat beside Lex. She liked him as a friend, but it was his brother, Johnny who she was interested in and this was a way to stay close.

  Johnny, had been in trouble last summer for helping Grant, but now he was working at the Diner after school. Hank said Johnny would be in the first group that he and Melvin would work with as soon as spring came around.

  Hannah knew that she didn’t miss Eric as much as Grace did though. Because even though he couldn’t drive her to school anymore, given he wasn’t physically present, he still waited with her for the bus, and she could see and talk with him. Grace still hadn’t figured out how to do that.

  Grabbing her book bag, Hannah hurried out the door to catch the bus and to see Eric. She stopped in her tracks when she saw him. Something was wrong. This morning he looked sad as he waited for her. Sometimes Leif came with him, but today it was only Eric.

  “You have something to tell me, don’t you, grandfather?” Hannah said.

  Eric moved closer and knelt down in front of her. Well, not actually knelt down because his knees weren’t touching the ground, but he got as close to eye level as possible.

  “Little one, you know I could spend all day here with you, but Leif and I have to be doing other things now. So, I can’t be here every morning. I will come when you call, though, because you and Grace hold my heart in your hands.�
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  Ava, looking out the window at her daughter staring at something directly in front of her and knew that Hannah saw something Ava couldn’t see. She guessed that it was Eric.

  When tears started running down Hannah’s face, Ava made herself not move, in spite of her own breaking heart. Sarah had told Ava that Leif and Eric wouldn’t be around as much as before, so she figured that was what was going on now between the two of them.

  Ava longed to be able to see what so many of her friends could see, but she was grateful that her heart was open enough to allow her to see the love that was passing from Hannah to Eric. Perhaps she couldn’t see his form, but she could see their love for each other.

  She waited. She knew that if Hannah wanted her to come, she would call her. She could hear her daughter’s thoughts sometimes, and for that she was grateful.

  She wasn’t all that grateful though that Hannah could hear hers. Sometimes it was when she would answer, “Yes, pancakes would be lovely,” when Ava had only thought about making them. It was the other thoughts she hoped Hannah didn’t hear.

  Hannah had promised not to listen in, but she was a curious child. Sometimes she might hear things that were not what a young girl, even one as wise as Hannah, should know.

  At that moment, Hannah looked up and smiled at her mom standing in the window, and Ava knew that Hannah was grateful for letting her have those moments with Eric by herself.

  The bus pulled up to the house. The driveway made it easy for it to drive straight up to the front door, and then curve back down to the street. It was safer than Hannah waiting by the road to town. All the kids waved at Ava and Ben standing in the window. Hannah gave one last wave before stepping into the bus, and the bus driver honked as the bus moved down the drive.

  Ava always felt bereaved when Hannah left for school. Ben was going to be one year old in April, and she was ready to find something to do with herself. Up until now, Ben had taken all her time. And over the winter months, she had allowed herself time for thinking about and healing from the summer events. Now, she was ready to move on. She was bored.

  Ava had never thought she would be just a wife, mother, and housewife, as much as she loved those roles. She wanted something more, even if she didn’t know yet what it would be.

  Sarah had hinted at something a few weeks before. Maybe she was ready to tell her now.

  Spring fever in March. Or was it cabin fever? Either way, Ava was ready to get out and do something. She could feel something coming her way that made the hair on her arms stand up. Ava wasn’t sure if she was excited or scared, but she was ready, whichever way it went.

  Five

  Craig Lester glanced around his small waiting room and felt a wave of contentment move through him. It was perfect. Well, not entirely perfect. There was still some work to be done to fix some of the problems an old building inevitably suffers. Besides, he knew that Mandy was preparing color and furniture choices for him. She told him that she wanted to keep the bungalow essence of the place while still bringing it into the modern age. Whatever she meant by that was okay with him.

  Craig knew he would never be able to put all those ideas into words let alone into something called a color and style pallet. But Mandy was over the moon excited to be given the opportunity to design another space. She had been practicing on anyone’s space who would let her. The bunkhouse at Ava and Evan’s house had a whole new look, and so did Grace’s apartment. He knew that, given time, Mandy would be retrofitting every building in town with a new look. Mandy had discovered a passion. Designing.

  Craig sat in one of the old chairs that he wanted to keep but knew Mandy would shake her head and tell him no. She would be right, too. For her help in designing his office, Craig said he was paying her. Even though Mandy told him she would be happy to do it for free for everyone forever, Craig wanted her to see for herself that she had a budding design career happening. It made him feel good to help Mandy find her perfect work.

  The last year had been hard for Craig. But, he too was finding his work, now that he had moved to Doveland. His wife Jo Anne had been delighted to divorce him as long as the money flowed into her bank account every month. That meant he needed to keep working. But it was a payment he was happy to make. Jo Anne had put up with his craziness for years, so in this way, he could thank her for doing so. He knew she already had a new man in her life, so he wasn’t expecting to be paying for too long.

  The chair was comfortable, worn smooth by the many people who had sat in this waiting room during the last fifty years. The doctor who owned the practice had been working out of this space the whole time. It had history and Craig liked that feeling. When Craig approached him to take over his practice, it turned out to be perfect timing. He was happy to sell it to Craig for a reasonable fee.

  Both of them knew that not all of Dr. Joe Hellard’s patients would continue as Craig’s patients. Many of them would not be interested in the more holistic practice Craig was planning on offering. Holistic and preventative. Craig felt his heart lift as he thought about it. Finally, he would be a family doctor, not a corporate doctor. That was a life he was happy to be giving up.

  Craig had sold his practice in Rochester to a doctors group, and that money would fund a less lucrative practice in Doveland for many years. Other than paying Jo Anne, Craig wanted to live a simple life in Doveland which wouldn’t take much money. He planned to live above his practice, at least in the beginning. It made for a fast trip to the office.

  Joe Hellard and Craig had become friends as they made the transition. Craig had been assisting Dr, Joe for the past six months, and they had both agreed that Joe would stay on as a consulting physician for another year.

  Fifty years of practicing in the same small town had earned Dr. Joe respect from almost everyone in Doveland and Concourse. Craig knew he was a lucky man to have decided to become a village doctor at the same time Joe decided to retire. Craig loved the synchronicity of it.

  Craig wondered if he would find someone to take over the practice when he was ready to retire. In twenty years perhaps someone else would be looking over the waiting room the same way he was, wondering what secrets it had to tell.

  *******

  A car door slammed, and Craig heard Mandy call out, “Hey, in there! Help!”

  Craig hurried out the back door of his office and found Mandy struggling with carrying too many things at once. She had two shoulder bags slung over her shoulder, a backpack, and a cardboard box in her hands. Laughing, Craig grabbed the box and the shoulder bags and shut her car door with his foot.

  There was a hallway that led from the back parking lot through the offices. Patients would be coming in the front door, not the back one. They would only go down the hall to the restroom or one of the examining rooms, or even the meditation room. Craig was going to have a rolfer and a chiropractor come into the office a few days a month. He was serious about having a full-service alternative practice.

  “This is a dreary place, Craig,” Mandy said. “Not only is it too dark, it feels dark.”

  “I see that it looks too dark, but why do you say it feels dark, Mandy? I don’t feel that at all.”

  Mandy put down the backpack and stood in the waiting room. And waited. Perhaps she was wrong? No, as she stood there, she felt something strange. But since Craig didn’t sense anything, maybe she was imagining it.

  Besides, once she was done making the place light, airy, and comfortable, she was sure that it would feel better too. However, it wouldn’t hurt to smudge the place with sage.

  “Okay, you are probably right. It’s probably the physical darkness of the place that’s getting to me. If you can okay the colors and fabrics, I can get started on the transformation. Are we doing your upstairs too?”

  “Yep. Joe used it mostly for storage for the past twenty years, so it’s going to take some work to
make it look good. It’s empty now. He took everything out last week. I’ve been camping out with a cot, sleeping bag, and hot plate since then.”

  “Hank’s coming over to put in a small kitchen and update the plumbing and do all that stuff for you?”

  “That he is,” Hank said, coming through the back door.

  “How come we didn’t hear your truck?” Craig asked.

  “I parked at Sarah’s and walked over.”

  “Are you fixing up Eric’s old place too?” Mandy asked,

  It was an innocent question, but one that struck a nerve with all three of them. Mandy sat down in the old chair that Craig had been sitting on and Craig and Hank stood looking at the floor.

  “I miss them both so much,” Mandy said, brushing away the tears that threatened to spill over.

  The ringing of Hank’s phone broke the cloud of silence. He glanced at it, and seeing it was Ava hoped she would say something to cheer him up. He knew Mandy meant she missed Leif and Eric, but Hank had another sorrow. He missed Jay, too. It was the weirdest thing. When Jay died, it was as if at that moment he experienced an intense bond between them. Hannah told him later it was probably because they had always been connected somehow in every lifetime. Hank wished he had time to find that connection in this one instead of it being yanked away from him so violently.

  Ava’s voice was cheerful, and when she heard where he was asked him to put her on speaker. “Hannah wants Hank to come over for dinner since he is there with you two. Do you want to come too?”

  At the sound of Ava’s voice, Mandy brightened up and asked if she could bring Tom, and Hank asked if Melvin could come.

  By the time the conversation was over, Ava had invited everyone. Mandy went off to find Grace and Sarah, and Hank called Melvin, Sam, Tom, and Mira.