Run, Lily, Run

by Martha Long

  I don’t like heights! I looked down at the terrible long way I was goin te fall. I knew fer sure I was goin te be kilt stone dead. It’s like a mountain! Me head went dizzy wit the fright. ‘Ah oh!’ I keened, me breath heaved up me belly an came out in a puff of shock. Then I let rip wit a piercin scream. ‘Nooooo!’ Then me breath caught again an I choked. I could see stars, me head was flyin wit them, everythin was goin round an around an I never felt meself spinnin so fast wit the fright on me. They’re gettin me kilt! Then I felt a hand pullin on me foot an the other one gripped tight te the leg of me boot an I was dragged down.

  ‘Let her go, Mister Mullins! I have her!’ shouted Annie Finnegan.

  I let meself go dead waitin te see how much pain ye got just before you were kilt stone dead. Then I was bein turned an grabbed inta the hands a Missus Finnegan an mashed against her big chest, the softness was lovely, an the smell of onions off her made me think I was home.

  * * *

  I must have dozed, because when I opened me eyes Missus Finnegan looked down an rocked me inta her arms, sayin, ‘Shush, go back to sleep, ye’re all right now, child.’

  Me eyes stayed open seein Annie restin herself on the kitchen windasill lookin out watchin the back wall. The room was dark an nobody was talkin, I could see her big childre Tommy an the rest a them, they were all sittin around the fire watchin the red-hot cinders an listenin te the shoutin an fightin an the murderin screams goin on. It sounded like it was all happenin beside the winda, but I knew it was all goin on outside in the laneway, an my Ceily was out there somewhere caught wit all them fightin, an so was our mammy’s house. But I wasn’t shiverin no more, an I was too tired te even let the fright worry me, tha was sittin somewhere in a place I wouldn’t feel it. I was content now te sit on Missus Finnegan’s lap, I can be safe an warm here an just wait fer it te be over. But she’s not me mammy, so I can’t cry or ask her any questions, an definitely not be bold, because I don’t belong te her.

  Then a thought hit me, I know wha I’ll do! I can snap the head offa God, it’s all his fault anyway. God, if ye’re listenin, you took me mammy away, so ye can’t take me Ceily too. I want her te come back all in the one piece. So don’t let anythin happen te her, God, or I really am goin te hate you, an ye can send me down te the devil to roast in hell, because I won’t care.

  Yeah, I thought, suckin away like mad noddin me head. God loves us, so he’s not allowed te do tha. I won’t let him. Tha was very mean a him, no wonder I’m not talkin te him! Then I lifted me eyes offa the floor an looked at me thumb. Ah no! I’m gone back te tha again, I stopped doin tha when Mammy put vinegar on it, she said I wasn’t a babby any more, I was five then an the other kids will be laughin at me. I stared at it lookin back at me, it was all white an shiny, then I stuck it back inta me mouth. Don’t care, I want it, let them laugh at me, I’ll just give them a box in the snot, tha’s wha Ceily says.

  7

  ME EYES SHOT open an me head turned slowly around the strange room. Where’s this? I could see a big brown wardrobe sittin over in the corner, it had a huge long mirror down the middle. Tha’s not ours! Me eyes moved takin in the vanity dresser wit the stool in front an the drawers down the side. Then I looked over to a winda seein the heavy drops a rain pourin down. I could hear the clip-clop of a horse makin its way slowly, goin somewhere out on a road. Then further away the buzzin sound a traffic an people all goin about their business, an now a dog just barked somewhere close. He’s probably roarin at the horse. Then I felt the soft warm mattress under me an gave a little bounce, feelin the springs. Ah, this is great.

  I shifted meself more, feelin the springs bounce me up an down. Yeah, I really do like this bed, it’s full a comfort, wonder where I am? There’s no one here but meself, I thought, lookin at the white heavy door shut tight. Mammy always left her door open a bit, tha was so we could talk te each other, an she could hear wha was goin on.

  Then me eyes lit on the chair beside the bed, them’s my clothes! I looked at me frock an cardigan sittin there an me blue coat hangin on the back. The black rubber wellie was lyin underneath, an I looked te see was the other one here. No, it’s on its own. Wonder where the other one got to? Suddenly a terrible thought hit me! Where’s me dolly? Where did Molly get to? She always comes te bed wit me, then lies there waitin when I go off te school.

  Then it all came back te me. The mad fightin people, everyone wantin te tear our house down, an Mammy’s gone!

  She’s not back yet, I thought, lookin around the room again, hearin an seein nothin an no one. Now Ceily’s gone missin too!

  I leapt outa the bed wit the fright an yanked open the door seein another one beside this, then stairs in front an two more doors up on another landin.

  ‘CEILY!’ I screamed, slappin down the stairs an whippin open a door.

  Two faces looked up at me sittin around a table.

  ‘Ahhh! There ye are, love, ye’re awake,’ Ceily said, soundin like Mammy an lookin at me, seein me gettin a shock.

  ‘And the dead appeared an arose to many!’ said Mister Mullins, starin at me an smilin. He had a big white bandage wrapped around his head, an his mouth was all cut an swollen. It looked kinda crooked, twisted or somethin. I looked back at Ceily. Her face was snow-white an she had a big massive black an blue eye, an her eyebrow was all cut an swollen. She had a big lump of white cotton wool wit a plaster coverin it, but ye could still see the huge swellin underneath.

  ‘Come te me,’ she said, seein me standin tryin te take in wha’s happenin.

  I flew at her an climbed onta her lap, nearly knockin her offa the chair.

  ‘Oh Jesus, go easy, Lily! I’ve had enough batterin in one day te last me a lifetime,’ she said, cuddlin me in one arm an restin her face in the other, lookin really worn out.

  ‘Come on, feeding time!’ Mister Mullins said, gettin up an goin over an turnin on the gas cooker, then strikin a match te light it up.

  ‘Are you all right? I looked in on ye earlier, but you were out fer the count,’ Ceily whispered slowly, soundin too tired te do more.

  I nodded, wrappin me arms around her neck.

  ‘No, Lily, not yet, chicken. Me neck’s a bit sore,’ she said, pullin me hands away.

  I leaned me head in te get a look, keepin me hands te meself. Now I could see all the black an blue marks, it looked all swelled up.

  ‘Come an get this,’ Mister Mullins said, puttin a bowl a steamin porridge down at the chair next te Ceily. ‘Go on, love, eat tha, it will bring yer strength back, you must be starved wit the hunger. Jesus, when was the last time you got fed?’

  ‘It seems like yesterday went on for eternity,’ said Ceily, soundin very old just like Mammy did when things got too much.

  ‘Take it easy, Ceily girl, one thing at a time, we will get our way through this don’t you worry,’ he said, noddin an shakin his head at her, speakin quietly but lookin like he meant it. ‘Eat up your porridge, Lily, an leave me an Ceily to get on wit a few things,’ he said, sittin himself back down an openin a school copybook.

  Ceily sat up an moved in her chair lookin te give him her attention.

  ‘Now, here’s where we are,’ he said, lookin down at his writin. ‘For the next few days, or at least as long as it takes, you keep Lily an your own head down. No work, no school, stay right here without showing your nose out the door. Let everything die down an I’ll do the rest. OK, here’s the plan. As I see it, the authorities can make you a ward of the court because you have no protection. No living relatives, or ones anyway that’s made themself known,’ he said, lookin disgusted at the idea. ‘So you’ll come under our protection.

  ‘I’m going to tell them powers that be, Flitters and the like, the NSPCC, I’m your relation. Your great-grandmother an my grandmother were distant cousins, that way, if we go that far back they won’t be able to trace us. So who’s te know the difference? To all intents and purposes, we are related. So that’s the end of that. No more argument. Now, as your relative I can get the te
nancy of your home put into my name. That way, the Corporation won’t be able te step in and take the home away from you. Now, when you come of age I will sign the tenancy back into your name. And just in case – we better cover ourselves for all eventualities – I will get a will drawn up makin sure there is a record of that. Anything happens to me, Delia will hold it in trust for you, just as I’m doing now. To all intents and purposes, that house is rightfully yours an little Lily’s.

  ‘So today I will set up a meeting with these shower a gob-shites. And if there’s any trouble out a them, by Jaysus they will rue the day they ever heard a Frank Ronald Mullins! I didn’t survive the Black and Tans and then the civil war fighting for our freedom by being a softie!’ he said, givin a snap of his head an clampin his teeth together, hissin out air.

  ‘The next stop then will be to round up all the neighbours and get the house fixed up, whatever it takes, whatever has to be done, will be done. Don’t you worry about that, Ceily! You’ll have your home back shipshape lookin like a new pin. OK, love? Never fear. We will put everything to rights.’

  She nodded her head tryin te give a smile, but it slid off her face lookin like it pained her.

  He stared at her lookin pained himself an annoyed she had that. Then he looked down at the red flowery tablecloth not seein it because he was busy thinkin. Then he said, lookin like he was talkin te himself, ‘Whatever happened yesterday will never happen again. The British were arrogant bastards who ran this country for eight hundred years, but, give it to them, they had order. My own people, the Irish yesterday, they behaved like something inhuman. Wild an tribal, overrunning everything that makes us civilized, makes us separate from jungle savages. Scratch the surface of human beings and this is what you get, barbarians!’ he said, turnin around te lash the fire sendin a flyin spit shockin it inta givin a big hiss, then turnin te look back at the room, lookin like he had tasted somethin rotten.

  I looked down at me bowl seein it was empty, tha was lovely, but I’m only gettin started. Me belly is still hangin empty, it’s missin all the food I didn’t get since … ? Well not yesterday anyway, because I only got me breakfast then, an me sambidge an milk at school dinner time. I’m starved wit the hunger, I thought, lookin up an down the table te see wha’s left.

  Me eyes lit on the pot a jam an fresh loaf a bread an butter sittin wrapped up in waxed paper. We don’t get jam. I love tha, but Mammy said it was too dear. I took in a deep breath wantin them te notice me, but not too much, just enough te keep feedin me, then forget an keep talkin, because nobody ever lets childre hear wha they’re sayin. We’re too young te understand an it’s not our business, they roar, shovin us out the door.

  I looked from one te the other, seein them starin at nothin. Mister Mullins was takin big sighs an Ceily was yawnin, then back te the starin.

  No, I’m goin te starve, they’re takin no notice a me, this is very bad altogether. I lifted me chest an gave a big cough, lettin me eyes stare at the jam.

  ‘Finished! Did you enjoy that? Be God all you were short a doing was eating the bowl,’ he laughed, lookin at how shiny I left it. ‘I don’t suppose you’d be wanting any bread an jam,’ he said, shakin his head at me.

  I was ready noddin me head then shook it, gettin confused. OF COURSE I WANT THE BREAD AN JAM! I roared in me head, lettin me face drop wit me heart scalded at the loss of it.

  ‘Look at the face on it, mustard an mortal sin,’ he laughed, reachin over te cut a huge chunk of fresh loaf, it sank then bounced up wit the freshness, an I could hear the crust groanin under the big knife as he sawed through it. Me mouth watered watchin him lather on the goldie-colour butter then lift the lid an heap on a big gollop a raspberry jam.

  ‘Here ye go! Get that down you, we all need a bit of cheering up,’ he said. ‘Maybe tonight we’ll have a big plate of fish an chips when we close up shop,’ he said, rubbin his hands an smilin at Ceily, lookin very happy wit himself a tha great idea.

  * * *

  I was on me third chunk a bread an jam an I didn’t want te lose time eatin it, so I stopped me chewin leavin half stickin outa me mouth, then pointed fer more.

  ‘No! You’ve had enough!’ Ceily suddenly exploded, takin the finger offa me wit the slap she gave me. ‘You’ll eat poor Mister Mullins outa house an home if ye keep tha up! Come on, Lily. Tha’s not hunger, tha’s just sheer greed,’ she snorted, givin me a dirty look.

  ‘Ah, leave her be. Childre will be childre,’ he said, heavin himself up an openin an shuttin the door behind him leavin me wit Ceily in one a her ragings.

  ‘Lily! Get some sense!’ she said, roarin down at me in a whisper, breathin her snorts all over me. ‘You have te be good fer me from now on, an don’t be makin us out te be trouble. If we get too much fer these people they will get fed up wit us an leave us te the mercy of the world an his wife. Now you saw wha happened yesterday, people are only out fer wha they can get. They don’t care about you an me, they have their own troubles, an God helps them tha help themself. Tha’s wha they were doin on the back of my dead mother. She was gone now, an we were easy prey te move in an take our home an house from under us, Lily! Mammy always warned us about tha! She would say, “Fight yer corner! People are without mercy when it comes to a struggle fightin for them an theirs.”

  ‘So don’t you ever forget tha again, Lily! People will eat you alive if ye don’t stand yer own ground. Now, the Mullinses is one in a million. Mister Mullins is a very good man, he looks out fer the poor, but he’s nobody’s fool. Very few would cross him, because there’s very few tha could be his match. He’s a very treacherous enemy, tha’s why people stay on the right side a him, an because they respect the man he is. I know you understand nothin a wha I’m sayin now, but I want you te learn one thing. Whatever I say you listen, because I have put on years in these last ten days, especially wit this last twenty-four hours. I know now where we stand wit the world, an I’m goin te make it me business never te be at the mercy of it again.’

  She was sayin it right. I didn’t understand wha it was all about, but I knew somethin had changed in her, she sounded more like Mammy now than the old Ceily. She used te be more like me, well a little bit, because she knew an awful lot more. Now suddenly me sister is gone, she talks an sounds like an aul one. I wonder if tha’s good or bad.

  ‘Where’s Delia?’ I suddenly said, thinkin I knew there was somethin missin.

  ‘Hospital,’ Ceily said not botherin te look at me.

  ‘Why?! Wha’s wrong? Is she dead too, Ceily?’ I whispered, seein now the red blood on the collar a her blouse, I didn’t notice tha till now. Even her green-wool jumper is torn, there’s a big hole in the neck an all the wool is left hangin. ‘An wha happened te yer eye? It’s all swollen an black an blue!’

  ‘Ah, don’t worry about it. Tha will go in time,’ she said, givin a quick rub te the plaster over her eye.

  ‘An wha happened te tha? Why’s ye gor a plaster on it?’

  ‘I had te get a few stitches,’ she said, takin her hands away an leavin it alone.

  ‘Did someone hit you?’

  ‘Don’t ask any more questions, Lily. Let’s just take it easy, we’re lucky te have got out alive,’ she said, starin at me then puttin out her arms fer me te come.

  I snuggled inta her lap an stared up at the cut. Her eyebrow was twice the size of the other one, an her eyeball was all bloody an she had a big lump under it.

  ‘Ceily, ye look terrible,’ I said, wantin te beat the snot outa them tha harmed me sister.

  ‘Thanks, Lily, you do wonders fer me, but ye’re no oil paintin yerself. Look a you sittin here in yer knickers an vest, the face is manky dirty an the hair looks mad like a wild thing, an that’s not te mention the dirty black knees! Jaysus you need a bath, but we’re far from tha, just gettin through these next few days is goin te take everythin we can throw at it.

  ‘Which reminds me, where’s your wellington boot? You only had one when Annie Finnegan helped te carry you here in the early hours a
this mornin.’

  ‘Don’t know,’ I said, leavin me thumb hangin outa me mouth while I thought about this. ‘Must a got robbed by the robbers!’ I said, not knowin any other reason. ‘I asked ye, Ceily, why’s Delia not back here?’

  ‘Because she’s in the hospital I just told you!’ Ceily snapped, grabbin hold a her hair.

  I climbed offa her lap makin me way back te me own chair an went very quiet. I stared down at the table not knowin where else te look, because all the bad things tha happened was comin back inta me head again. Ceily looks heartsick, she’s not herself an everythin is gone wrong very bad since Mammy died.

  No, maybe she will come back, it could be just a mistake. Then everythin will go back to the way it used te be. Ceily will be laughin an then sometimes shoutin because I robbed some a her stuff. Well she says tha, but I only do be tryin on her things when she’s not there te see me. Then Mammy will shout at her then shout at me, then we will sit down an have our tea an talk all the day’s happenins over by the fire. Except I don’t get te hear about the good bits, Mammy puts me out an up te bed.

  Yeah, I thought, liftin me eye te look over at her. She was cryin, her head was shakin in her hands an her shoulders were heavin up an down. Wha will I do? She doesn’t want me te hear her. She’s tryin te hide it. I looked over at the fire burnin down te nothin now, makin the kitchen go very cold, everythin seems very cold, like me world all around me is a very cold place. It’s sorta dark here now, like everythin tha makes you laugh an feel happy is gone off somewhere, robbin the light an takin the heat. But when Mister Mullins was here it felt like everythin was goin te be all right again. But it’s not. Ceily is sickenin an her heart is scalded, because we’ve gone an lost too much.

  8

  SUDDENLY THE DOOR opened an Mister Mullins appeared back.

  ‘Here we are, take this an have that,’ he said, comin te lift me up swingin me across the room, then land me sittin in the fireside chair. ‘Now, let that keep your eyes peeled an your jaws busy,’ he said, puttin a comic inta me lap then sayin, ‘Open!’ An shoved a gobstopper inta me mouth.