Run, Lily, Run

by Martha Long

  ‘Yeah, true fer ye,’ whispered Nellie, tryin te give a smile an make the peace, lookin up at Mister Mullins.

  Mister Mullins gave a little nod. ‘I’m sorry, ma’am. Sorry to you too, missus. An all of you,’ he said, givin a big bow te all the men.

  They all nodded mutterin quietly. ‘Indeed God bless you, sure we’re terribly sorry for your trouble.’

  ‘We’ll take her up,’ whispered Mousey.

  ‘Do,’ Nellie whispered back, all tryin te keep nice an easy wit gettin the sudden peace. ‘We’ll start boilin the water te lay her out. Have youse brought the habit?’

  ‘We have indeed, missus. The Sodality of The Children Of Mary. She was in tha, you said, Mister Mullins?’

  He nodded, lookin very white.

  ‘Oh indeed she was,’ said Essie, ‘an many a long day tha was too. Years, she was in it. Did everythin fer them she did. No one’s more entitled te wear tha habit than poor Delia, she will need tha when she gets te heaven an meets our blessed Lord an His Holy Mother.’ Then she blessed herself.

  Wit tha they all copied an blessed themself quickly then four men, one a little aul fella, jumped forward. Up te now he had been hidin outside the door, but every now an then he put his head in te see who was goin te get boxed, then whipped it back out again. He was like me, afraid a his life of all the fightin goin on.

  They all bent down an lifted the coffin an started te back away shufflin, headin towards me an me head. I ducked back under, watchin them step away an stagger out the door leavin the lid of the coffin behind.

  The women rushed inta the kitchen, then turned and headed back out again, sayin, ‘Best first we get Delia sorted, we’ll get her outa the coffin an onta the bed. Then we’ll get the water on te boil fer washin her, but first thing now, we get rid a the lot a these aul fellas. Then after tha we can sort the house. Maybe we should ask—’

  ‘No! No more talkin, Essie! Bejaysus, if we don’t get a move on, Delia Mullins will be startin te stink te high heaven! They will smell her before they see her! Let’s go.’

  I listened hearin the rumblin a voices an the ceilin shakin, yeah, it’s all quiet down here, they’re all up there now. I crawled out an stood on me feet gettin a look at Delia’s coffin lid. Ah poor Delia’s dead. It’s like Mister Mullins said, she was me mammy’s really ever bestest friend. They sat together in school an even made their first Holy Communion together. Ah poor Mister Mullins, he has nobody now, not even Snotty Delia, because tha’s wha people called her. But they won’t say tha now, because everyone says you can’t never speak ill a the dead.

  I’m hungry, it looks like nobody’s goin te feed me. Wha will I do? Feed meself!

  I looked over at the gas stove then wandered me eye lightin it on the press in the corner. Tha’s where Ceily put the stuff when she cleaned up. Then me heart jerked an me happy thought went from me head. Is she dead too?

  I turned an rushed out the door headin fer the hall an upstairs. Mister Mullins will know.

  ‘Right you are, God bless ye,’ said Banjo.

  ‘Yeah, God bless you,’ said Mousey, headin down the stairs bangin their big heavy boots makin the wood hop an the house shake.

  I made it up the third step but changed me mind wit the whole gang of them comin teemin on top a me backin me down, makin me turn fast an rush fer me life. They didn’t seem te be mindin me. They were too busy wit their necks in the air te look down an watch fer wha was in front a them!

  ‘Fuckers!’ I snorted, lovin the sound a tha, then hurryin te reach back te me hidey-out under the table. Tha probably was not a good idea after all, no, because Mister Mullins said we were te keep ourselves quiet an not draw attention. I wonder did Ceily make tha mistake when I was asleep? Or did the monsters take her?! Because she was callin me terrible names? Well maybe not at this time, but she does.

  I’m not likin any a this, I’m goin te have te make me mind up good an proper because God knows everythin, he can see me mind! So, are you listenin, God? Ye can stop makin me suffer now. I’m goin te be terribly really very good! So, is tha OK? Will ye bring everythin back te the way it was? Let me mammy come home an Ceily too of course! Just make everythin right again, an I’ll make up me mind I’m goin te become a saint!

  I thought about tha, because I didn’t want te make a fool of God if it turns out te be a pack a lies. Yeah! Ah, yeah definitely, tha’s fer definite I’m goin te become a saint an get meself canonized, just like ‘The Little Flower, Saint Theresa of the Roses’. They even writ a song about her! So yeah, I’m goin te give up me sins!

  Now I’ll have te wait until I’m dead before they can make me one. The nun at school told us all about it. She said ye can only become a saint when you’ve gone through terrible shockin sufferin. Well I’m grand there, because I’ve definitely suffered shockin! Now there was somethin else? Oh yeah, so when I get te heaven I have te do loads an heaps a miracles. Curin disease an the lame an cripples an all tha. Just like Saint Bernadette in Lourdes. Hundreds an loads a people all go there te pray te her to do them a miracle. So, tha’s me sorted out. Now I can tell everyone when they ask me wha I’m goin te be. Workin te get meself canonized, I’ll say, because I’m goin te be a saint! Gawd the nun at school is goin te love me! At the minute she hates me, but now she might even get the rest a them te pray fer me good intentions. I can’t wait!

  I stayed very quiet thinkin about tha, then gave a huge sigh of contentment. Yeah, the best marvellous idea I’ve had in all of me life!

  I didn’t hear their step until they were nearly in on top a me. I dived further under the table only wantin te be seen by Mister Mullins.

  ‘I’ll put on the water te boil, Essie, you strip an get Delia ready fer her wash.’

  ‘Right, Nellie, oh but listen, we better get a hurry on ourselves, or the mourners will be in on top of us before we know where we are! An we still have te get this place ready. Here! Will we move this dresser, Nellie, an put tha table over be the winda? Make more room.’

  ‘No! Leave well alone, we don’t want aul Gunner Mullins down our throat again, you know how touchy he is at the minute. No! In here just cover all the mirrors, or turn them to face the wall, an black out all the windas in the house.’

  ‘Oh yeah, he may have death-notice cards in the shop, you tell him we need tha te put up on the hall door, Nellie.’

  ‘Who?! Me tell him? Not wit the state he’s in! You ask him or let it go. Listen, we may end up yet gettin ourselves scuttered out tha door an poor Delia left lyin up there in her skin. Not te mention I need the few bob. Tha fuckin eegit of mine got hold an blew my last few shillins on a lame horse – I got tha money bringin Dozy Bonepick’s babby home fer her! An tha wasn’t easy I may tell you! On me, I mean, not her! The roars outa tha one an she not even halfway there wit her labour!

  ‘I went off an told tha eegit clown of a man a hers, te come back an get me when she was ready te show me somethin. An how right I was. Do you know how long more before tha one dropped it?’

  ‘No! Tell us, Nellie.’

  ‘Two nights an a mornin! Three times she had me traipsin back an forth to tha tenement room a hers! Even her fella fecked off an left her. He was gone celebratin! An nothin even yet te be talked about! Sure it could a been borned dead, how was he te know? See they haven’t had a live one yet. Five a them, an only one opened the eyes an gave a cry, few minutes it lasted, then snuff, gone!’

  ‘Ah men!’ snorted Essie. ‘Should be all drownded at birth!’

  ‘Wha?! But then wha would we do? We’re handywomen! If there was no one borned, then we’d have no one te be waked. No,’ sniffed Nellie, ‘we bring them in, an we see them out. That’s our job tha we were just born te do, an me mother an all before her God rest her soul,’ she said, blessin herself. ‘Right,’ she went on. ‘So we get on wit our job. We get himself Mister Mullins te get a loan of a long stool from Hop Along, the aul publican in the Shoot Out Saloon. He drinks there, tha will do nicely left in the hall fer people te sit an eat. He ca
n sort tha out when he goes in te order the barrel a porter. He better see too about gettin the snuff an gettin someone te cook the pigs’ cheeks. I’m not doin it, he should know by now wha needs te be got, sure doesn’t he run a shop himself?’

  ‘Right, an we won’t worry about this place, we’ll sort out here when we’re finished an readied the other lot.’

  Suddenly there was a bang on the door.

  ‘Who would tha be? Maybe it’s the linen cloths wit the silver cross an candles sent over on loan from the convent. We need tha an more fer the altar. Where’s himself got to? There’s nobody answerin!’

  ‘Sure there’s no one here to. He went off wit Squinty, the coffin maker next door. He’s probably in there now gettin a drop a hard stuff. You open it, unless ye want Delia te rise up an answer it herself!’ moaned Essie, then the pair a them roared laughin, an I heard a big snort soundin like snots gettin sniffed out.

  I looked out te see Essie lift her long skirt an give a blow te her nose an then wipe it, usin the leg of her navy-blue knickers. Then she sniffed again, sayin, ‘I have te keep the rest a me clean. Sure, who’s goin te see me drawers?’ Then they opened their mouths an screamed, laughin their heads off again.

  ‘Ah here! Fuck sake! The goins on a the pair of us! We’re gettin nowhere doin nothin,’ moaned Nellie.

  ‘Speak fer yerself! I have the water on the go!’

  ‘Answer it, then come on! Tha water should be near ready be now, where’d I put tha big enamel basin?’

  I heard the door open an a voice said, ‘Sister Mary Penance sent this parcel over for Mister Mullins. Is he here?’

  ‘No, I’ll take it, thanks, Brigid, we’re here now, meself an Nellie Fry gettin poor Delia ready te be waked.’

  ‘Right so. I will leave you to it! Oh did you hear? Poor Granny, Missus Kelly died too, this afternoon in the hospital. Her heart gave out. Mother Mary Bethlehem said someone will have te go around there an sort out the wake. The neighbours are in doin what they can. I’ve just come from there, it’s torment! The doctor had to be called te quieten down Babby Kelly, he went outa his mind when Sister Mary Penance called to the house te tell him. I don’t rightly know what’s goin on, or what’s happenin, but I believe listenin to them talk, I mean her and the doctor, an ambulance has been called to take Babby off te Grangegorman! He’s not goin to manage by himself.’

  ‘Noooo!’ shouted Essie in a big whisper.

  ‘NEVER!’ breathed Nellie, rushin herself te the door wit an awful long hiss a breath comin outa her.

  ‘Jesus, we better hurry! Thanks fer lettin us know, mind yerself now.’

  ‘Right, good luck,’ said the culchie woman, then I heard the door slam an the pair a them rush back in.

  ‘Quick! If we’re fast we’ll get there ahead a the posse. Dirty Doris can smell money a mile away, she’ll take tha from under our noses if we don’t get there quick!’

  ‘Right, Essie! Grab up the brown parcel there wit the stuff, you go on ahead an get started. I hear now the water boilin ready, I’ll bring it up in the pink enamel basin, I have the washcloth, soap an towel ready, let’s go. We’ll clear outa here as fast as we can!’

  ‘Yeah but wait, another thought just hit me!’ breathed Nellie, openin her mouth wide sayin the words slowly. ‘Did you hear the bit about Babby gettin himself locked up in the lunatic asylum?’ she said, gettin outa breath now wit it catchin in her neck. ‘Tha house will be up fer grabs! Just like the Carneys’!’

  ‘Oh indeed yeah!’ said Essie. ‘She had no livin relatives except fer tha foolish son. He’ll never get outa the mad house, they’ll never let him free. Because as you know well, Nellie Fry, once in you never get out! An as I said, you know tha place is no holiday camp.’

  ‘Here! Hang on a minute now, Essie Bullcock!’ Nellie suddenly roared, leanin her head inta Essie wit her fist slammed against her hip, then lettin herself drop sideways restin on her right leg.

  Me heart leapt. ‘Oh ah. It looks like a big fight comin an me stuck just under the table,’ I muttered te meself, then movin well back an grabbin me thumb, goin fer a really big suck while keepin me eye on them an meself well outa harm’s way, as Mammy always warns me.

  ‘I beg your pardon but I know no such thing! Sure how would I know about the lunatic asylum when I never set foot inside one in all me borned days? Just who do ye think you’re talkin to? Answer me!’

  ‘Wha? What you talkin about?’ said Essie, droppin her mouth open an blinkin like mad, lookin very confused. ‘Oh ye mean … Well now God forgive you fer thinkin such a thing, tha I would think such a thing as to think somethin like tha about YOUUUU! An God forgive me fer givin you tha terrible idea in the first place! Believe me, Nellie Fry, I’m very chastised, tha would be an awful thing te think about anybody! Never mind the like a you an somebody a your calibres an pedigrees wit years a good breedin behind ye, an all tha came before you. Oh believe me, Nellie, oh be God by Jesus! I didn’t mean tha by way of any insulutations … insultans, I mean … No! I was not meanin te be takin yer character at all. Sure don’t ye know me well, Nellie? I mean how many babbies have we brought home? An further, how many corpses have we laid out together?’ Essie said, gettin all hoarse, now lettin it come out in a squeak.

  I watched seein her blink an wave her hand then look like she was washin it.

  ‘I’ll lay you out, Essie Bullcock, if you don’t watch wha ye’re sayin about me!’ Nellie warned, leanin her face inta Essie an clampin her mouth shut. Then she shifted back an straightened herself, sayin, ‘Now come on, ye aul fool. You nearly landed yerself there wit tha one. Only I’m a very forgivin soul, you mighta been gettin yerself planted along wit Delia Mullins! Now let’s go, fer the love a Jaysus! There’s no work te be had outa the pair of us this day. Tha poor unfortunate soul is up them stairs waitin on us. At least let’s show somethin fer our day’s efforts.’

  12

  I CRAWLED OUT from under the table just as the hall door opened an Mister Mullins appeared, he stopped an stared down at me lookin like he was wonderin where I came out of.

  ‘Mister Mullins! Where’s Ceily? She’s not here,’ I said, wavin me hand an swingin meself round te show him the empty room an pointin up the stairs. ‘Nowhere,’ I said, showin me empty hands again.

  He stared sayin nothin, I stared back seein loads a more wrinkles an he looked like he got smaller, an very old all of a sudden.

  He shook his head then said, ‘Gone, is she? Tut tut! That’s terrible,’ then walked off inta the kitchen lookin like he lost somethin.

  I followed behind hopin he would be the real Mister Mullins himself again. Maybe cook us somethin te eat an talk about Ceily, where she is an when we can go an get her. Do somethin! I don’t care wha, anythin is better than hidin under tha table wearin out me belly.

  He turned suddenly crashin inta me, then stared down lookin shocked an annoyed, mutterin, ‘Child, will you stop trailin me an find who ever owns you!’ Then he lifted his head lookin over at the door inta the shop, wit tha he rushed over an grabbed out his keys lockin it, then turned an rushed off out the front door again.

  I stared after him, seein now only the empty place where he’d been a minute ago. I’m on me own again. An he didn’t tell me wha te do or give me somethin te eat or even talk te me about nothin! Wha will I do? I have te eat, me belly is tippin the floor lookin like a bursted balloon from the hunger. An I have te find my Ceily. An I have te get me own stuff, I thought, lookin down at Delia Mullins’ knickers hangin down te me feet an trailin along the floor. An Mister Mullins’ socks is trippin me up, I look like Coco the Clown tryin te walk in them.

  ‘Ehnnnn!’ I started te keen, feelin a rage rise in me. I wanted te dance up an down an scream me head off, but there’s no one te hear. ‘An them aul ones upstairs will only ate the head offa me,’ I sniffed, feelin a heat from me rage rush around me chest makin me snort down through me nose. I listened, hearin it sound like a monster gettin ready te grab someone.

  Me eyes looked
at the empty table wit nothin te show fer eatin, except the sugar bowl an butter dish. ‘You can’t eat tha on its own,’ I muttered, lettin me lip turn up wit a snarl.

  The food press! I grabbed the heavy chair pullin it over an stood up openin up the door. Me eyes slid along takin in the cans, no good, don’t know wha’s in them an can’t open them anyway. Then onta the packet a Bisto, tin a Horlicks, red jelly! I grabbed hold a tha, wha else? Nothin worth lookin at, packets a flour tha’s it. No biscuits, no cake, where’s the bread?

  I looked around seein the breadbin standin on the shelf close te the press, it was holdin all the jugs, the teapot an loads a Delft.

  I leapt down an dragged across the chair then jumped up openin the bin. Nothin! I stared very annoyed lookin at the mouldy crumbs. Why’s this? So how can it be like tha when we’re in a shop? Well, the Mullins live in a shop.

  Oh yeah! I stuffed me gob wit nearly the whole loaf a bread, Ceily gave out te me fer doin tha!

  Me heart slid down te me belly an I felt the tears comin outa me eyes. I stood down an dragged across the chair, then sat meself an buried me head in me arms. ‘Ceily! Where are ye? I miss you,’ I whispered, startin te break me heart wantin te cry me eyes out. I shook me head. ‘I don’t understand why youse are all gone! Mammy’s gone an left me, an now you’re gone too. Me home is gone, an I’m not supposed te let anyone see me. Wha will I do? There’s no one te ask. Oh, come back to me, Mammy, I promise I will be good. I won’t torment ye any more. You too, Ceily! I’m lost without you. You’re me big sister.’

  I heard movement an a door bangin then footsteps on the stairs. Me head shot up an me body went stiff, wha will I do? Will I hide again? I didn’t want te no more, I’m fed up, I don’t care! But before I knew where I was I was clatterin offa the chair an divin meself under the table breathin heavy an waitin te see wha happens now. Suddenly I had a thought, no! I’m not goin te disappear like Ceily! She must a done somethin an let people see her. Well tha’s not goin te happen te me! I’m not as stupid as I look. Tha’s wha Mammy always says about herself.