by Martha Long
‘OK now, Lily, I got your stuff from the scullery, so you can leave them aul knickers behind. Just use them fer sleepin, then put your own stuff back on, an here! Where’s your other boot?’
‘I don’t know, it got lost!’
‘Tut, right here’s yer coat an the rest of your stuff,’ she said, openin the wardrobe then somethin fell onta the bed.
‘What’s this?’ she said, pickin up a key fallin outa me pocket.
I looked te see an me eyes lit up. ‘Tha’s my hall door key! I forgot it was there!’
‘Right! That’s grand an handy havin tha,’ she said happily, puttin it inta her apron pocket. ‘I’ll mind tha fer when it’s needed.’
‘Do you mean fer when Ceily comes back an we can go an find me mammy?’ I said, lookin up at her ready te be gettin very happy.
‘Oh all good things come te little girls who do wha they’re told.’
‘Oh I’m goin te be very good, an do ye know wha?’ I said, just rememberin wha I want te be. ‘Do ye know wha, missus?’ I said, not waitin fer her te answer. ‘I’m goin te become a saint an do loads a miracles an get everyone te pray te me, fer me te do me miracles! Just like the little flower an the child a Prague! Mammy has a statue of him hangin over the front door. Wha do ye think a tha?’ I said, now waitin fer her answer.
She looked like she was goin te laugh, but then changed her mind an shook her head lookin at me, sayin, ‘I knew it! I knew you had tha look of a saint about you! Oh indeed you will make a great little saint, you should tell tha te the nun at school, I’m sure she’ll be delighted!’
‘I THOUGHT A THA MESELF TOO!’ I roared, gettin all excited.
But then suddenly she let a big snort outa her nose an turned her head away makin noises an then coughin. I watched seein her face go all red an her eyes started te water, an even her nose turned red.
‘Are ye ailin now?’ I said, gettin worried because she was coughin an chokin like mad.
‘Oh don’t say another word, chicken! Jesus you’re a tonic an ye don’t even know it! God bless your innocence,’ she said, pattin me on me head. ‘OK enough, get inta the bed an get some sleep, come on,’ she said, liftin the blankets an shovin me legs under, then coverin me up an rubbin me face an hair, sayin, ‘Ah sure you’re a grand little thing, a lovely little girl, tut tut, it’s a bloody cryin shame this has te be happenin.’ Then she walked over an pulled the curtains together pushin out the light pokin itself in through the winda, now it’s all dark again. Then she was gone, closin the door quiet behind her leavin me feelin lovely an warm, all snug as a bug in a rug.
I gave a big yawn an turned meself over onta me side, then scratched me nose gettin an itch an let out a huge sigh, feelin the height a comfort. ‘Oh yeah, this is lovely,’ I sighed again, lettin a big smile on me face then eased off, sinkin down into a deep sleep.
18
‘EXCUSE ME! CAN I have me breakfast, please?’ I said, tryin te mill me way in an hang onta me spot around the kitchen table, but the aul ones an aul fellas were pushin an diggin me out wit their elbows an gettin there first.
‘Mara! Give us another bit a tha bread, an have ye any more a tha lovely hard cheese?’
‘Wha do ye think I’m runnin, a bleedin cafe?’
‘Ah go on, you know I’ll look after ye! Didn’t I mind tha dog a yours when you went off gallivantin on yer travels to Bray? A whole week ye went missin, mindin tha old invalid on a paid holiday you called work. Jesus, work? I think it was man huntin you were. Hangin around them slot machines an rushin around in them bumper cars. An me left wit yer feckin bowzie of a dog! Tha thing’s wild, I had te pay tha butcher nine pence fer tha pork chop when it lunged up an grabbed it offa the counter! Which reminds me, you never paid me back tha money yet!’
‘Ah listen. Why don’t ye tell them wha you told me about tha aul invalid,’ said Essie, pourin out the tea from a big kettle they borrowed from the convent. She was standin beside the skinny woman wit the dyed blonde hair wearin the red blouse an black pencil skirt. It had a slit up the back an she was wearin nylon stockins. The women don’t like her. I do hear them givin out mad about her. They said she was a man-eater an she was very fast! Whatever tha means. Because I think she’s very slow, she can’t walk on them high heels, an she can’t move much in tha tight skirt. But the men’s eyes always light up at the sight a her.
‘Will I tell them tha?’ said the skinny woman Mara, smilin, showin a row of lovely white teeth an red-rosy lips covered wit lipstick.
‘Ah go on it’s priceless,’ said Nellie, pushin her way in wit clean mugs an plates, she was lookin grand again back te her old self.
‘Well!’ said Mara, leanin her head inta the crowd an them pushin forward wit their head, leavin me out in the cold. All I can see now is arses an legs packed tight together. I walked te one end then turned an walked te the other lookin fer a way te squeeze in, I couldn’t see me breakfast an I couldn’t earwig on the story, but I could hear the laughin an the pauses wit, ‘Yeah! Go on go on!’ Tut! I hate big people!
Suddenly the door pushed in an a voice shouted, ‘Come on! Come on! They’re gettin ready te move, if you don’t get goin now Delia Mullins will not just stink te high heaven as she is now, but we’ll need a shovel te get her inta the box! Never mind te dig the hole!’
All heads turned te look at Squinty the coffin maker from next door, he was all agitated chompin his gums up an down an starin from one te the next wit his eyes crossin.
‘We’re ready te take her now. Tha Father Flitters is walkin up an down the church grounds sayin she won’t get a Christian burial if youse don’t bring her over fer the burial Mass now! This is the fourth day you’ve had her lyin up there!’ he said, curlin up his nose an clampin his mouth givin a sniff like he got a bad smell.
‘Right! We’re off, are they here?’ someone said, wantin te be in control an take charge.
‘No! There’s murder up there!’ someone else said. ‘People’s bein usin her coffin as a nest place te hide their bottles a booze from each other, an on top a tha they was usin it as a bench an a table fer holdin their grub. Frankie Mullins, he’s gone mad up there tryin te clean it!’
‘Will youse move! Shift yerselves fer fuck’s sake!’ Squinty roared. Then he turned, wavin the arm at everyone te follow.
‘Let’s go!’ people shouted, startin te clear away from the table leavin me wit the whole place te meself.
‘Can I have me breakfast now, please, missus?’ I said, starin up at an old woman starin down at a lump a cheese in one hand, an the big bread knife in the other.
‘Do ye want some?’ she said, lettin her big black tooth take a bite outa the lump without cuttin it.
I stared at the dirty tooth mark not likin the look of it an shook me head, sayin, ‘No. Just give us a bit a bread, please, an a sup a tea. Or have ye any biscuits or cake or jam or nothin like tha?’
She shook her head munchin on the cheese eatin the rest of it now, wit her cheeks bulgin out, makin short work of it wit her gums. Because tha’s all she had, tha an the one tooth.
‘Easy now easy, mind the walls. Here! Don’t hold it over the banisters, we’ll lose her!’
I munched on me bread an supped me hot tea, me an the old woman made a hot pot, an we guzzled the rest a the fresh bread an found three eggs hidden in a pot under the sink an we boiled them. She got two an I got one, an we’re enjoyin ourselves wit all the grub an the sudden peace an quiet. Except fer the stairs, they’re makin their way down now, an everyone has an opinion on how te get Delia down the stairs in her coffin, because the landin an stairs is very narrow, an there’s too many a them all squashed there tryin te own the coffin. Some a them are still drunk, like the granny here. I can smell the porter offa her, it’s like the Guinness brewery!
I could hear grunts an moans, then a scream, ‘Pull back! Youse have me kilt against the wall!’
‘Ger out the way then! Ye’re not helpin!’
‘Wha do you know about it?’
&n
bsp; ‘Here no fightin! Let’s get her down wit her coffin in one piece before ye’s start!’
Meself an the drunk granny munched an listened te the killins, the bangin an shouts, then a squeal, ‘Mind me hand!’
Then panic, ‘Watch the coffin!’
Then footsteps staggerin, landin in the hall.
‘Here we are, are we right now? Open the door wide, are youse ready?’
‘How many carriers have we got?’
‘One, two … eh, ten!’
‘Ah fer fuck’s sake, there’s no room fer tha many hands an feet under the box!’
‘Who’s got the flag?’
‘Wha flag?’
‘The fuckin Irish flag! The one we fought for!’
‘Who fought? You?! Sure you couldn’t fight yer way out of a paper bag, Sloppy Pooley!’
‘Who can’t? I’ll show you in a minute, ye flat-nosed fucker!’
I rushed out te get a look seein two aul fellas the age of Mister Mullins buryin their noses in each other’s face.
The granny flew up behind me. ‘Oh should a known! It’s only them two eegits,’ she muttered, lookin disappointed. ‘They’ve been scrappin since the day they were borned, right from the cradle now te the grave, the aul fools.’
‘HAVE RESPECT!’ a man snorted, lettin it come up in a growl from his big chest, he had the chest stuck out an his arms swingin, lookin like a gorilla ye see in the jungle.
I blinked an cleared me eyes te get a good look. He was wearin a cap sittin on top of a mop of curly blond hair, an he came struttin himself up wit Mara rushin behind him on her high heels.
‘Oh lookit, all smiles an outa breath pushin out the diddies!’ muttered the granny, givin her a dirty look.
We watched wit our mouths open listenin.
‘Rocky! Haven’t seen you in an age!’ Mara breathed, soundin like a kitten gettin itself strangled.
‘Not now, not now,’ he said, wavin her away like she was a tormentin dog turned up wit the mange.
‘Oh all right then,’ she said, stickin out her pointy chest gettin it jammed up the nose of Sloppy Pooley. He opened his mouth gettin suffomacated an started breathin hard suckin in an out.
Then an aul one roared, ‘Lookit him, tha dirty aul fella suckin on the diddies a Mara Maple! I’m tellin your wife so I am!’
‘Ah shurrup, you! I’m tryin te talk,’ complained Mara, then said, ‘So if you’re too busy te escort me to May Flower’s weddin, I’ll take up Smiley Rich’s offer te take me in his new cream motor car.’
‘Wha?! Not on yer nelly! Tha mammy’s boy is takin you nowhere, my little sugar plum juicy drop!’ Rocky said winkin at her, givin her a slap on the arse.
‘Ohhh! Wha a man!’ the aul fellas roared.
‘Disgustin little trollop!’ muttered the aul ones.
Then Rocky turned on the two aul fellas arguin. ‘Cut the feckin language,’ he ordered. ‘Stop the shapin up, or I’ll … But sure that’s only fer rebels!’ he said, lookin down at the flag now appearin on top a the coffin all folded up lovely, wit nice sharp creases.
‘Don’t let himself hear ye say tha!’ moaned Sloppy turnin away, leavin only the one eye in the head te be seen, wit the fear a God showin in it.
‘Come on open it up an spread it out,’ said Squinty, grabbin it up an shakin it.
‘No! Ye can’t!’ roared Rocky, snatchin it from his hands.
‘Put tha back on my Delia’s coffin,’ said Mister Mullins, who was watchin quietly from the hall door.
Then he walked over an Rocky dropped it down an moved away, sayin, ‘No harm done! Meant no harm, sorry about tha, Mister Mullins.’
‘So ye should be,’ said Mister Mullins quietly. ‘My daughter died saving the life of a child … two childre! She’s a hero! She got crushed under the feet of them animal-gang bastards an the fuckin police causin an even bigger riot. An you’re one a them, Rocky Rice. If you’re not outa my home by the count a three, Squinty Reilly will be busy measuring you for a box te plant you! NOW GET THE FUCK OUT!’ he exploded, makin a run at Rocky wit his two arms held rigid up against his sides.
‘I’M GONE! Keep yer hair on. I want no trouble!’ screamed Rocky, soundin like the Banshee keenin in our ear. He was gone, flyin out the door like his arse was on fire, then it was all quiet, nobody said anythin an we just waited fer Mister Mullins te stop starin at the ground wit his hands coverin his face makin a shield.
‘OK, I’ll take the top, right shoulder, Squinty,’ said Mister Mullins. ‘You take the other side an can two more of you just take the back?’
‘Lovely grand,’ said Squinty, movin over quietly to ready himself te lift.
‘You go ahead,’ the men said quietly, movin out an others movin in te grab up an lift the back onta their shoulders.
‘Are we ready?’ Mister Mullins said.
‘Ready!’ they said, an started te lift Delia inta the air an carry her in the coffin on their shoulders.
We all stood back as they marched out slowly matchin their steps an lettin their feet settle goin from left te right. Then they were on the road an everyone got in line an slowly marched behind. Now we were on the road wit aul ones mutterin prayers, an the lot of us marchin our way, all followin the coffin carryin Delia te the church fer her funeral Mass.
The young priest was scatterin holy water over Delia’s coffin while Father Flitters swung the incense box mutterin, singin an moanin, I think they was hymns. People sang up but then everyone started singin in the wrong tune, because Father Flitters was makin them go too low, so they ended strangled. I gave a big sigh lettin people know I was fed up.
‘Go easy there,’ Nellie said, givin me a dig te shut me up.
I looked up at her an yawned, then forgot meself an let it out in a roar.
‘You bold lump!’ Essie beside me moaned, grittin her gums sayin, ‘If you draw the attention of tha Father Flitters down on us! By Jesus, I’ll give you such a kick up yer arse, Lily Carney, you won’t be able te sit down fer a week.’
‘Yeah too right!’ sniffed Nellie, an the two a them gave me another dig, because I was squashed in between them.
They didn’t hurt me, so I wasn’t bothered an lifted me legs stickin out me knees an examined me wellies. ‘Lookit!’ I whispered, showin her me missin boot. ‘I got me wellie back, it was sittin on the floor at the end a me bed when I woke up this mornin!’
She looked down then clucked her tongue an shifted her eyes lookin them up te heaven. ‘Put them feet down, tha priest is watchin you,’ she warned, now grittin her gums makin a big noise suckin in her spit.
I shrrup real fast, because now she’s goin te kill me!
‘The Mass is over, it’s ended. Come on, get up!’ Nellie said, draggin me te me feet, then watchin an waitin fer the coffin te march past. Tha was followed by the altar boys, we could see one shakin the incense box while the other held onta the chain, he did tha in case the young fella tha got te swing it maybe ended droppin it, because it was heavy, very heavy the young fellas tell people. Then quick behind them came the priests shakin the holy water, one lashed it over the coffin an the other priest threw it over us, drownin us in blessins.
Then we were outa the benches an everyone goin slowly but ye could see they wanted te rush. It was very stuffy in the church an full a smoke from the incense. As soon as we hit the air it was gone very dark an cold.
‘Oh I don’t like the look a tha sky,’ said the drunk granny, lookin up wit one eye closed, like it was blindin her. ‘Who are youse goin wit?’ she said, easin her way up te stand in the middle a everyone. ‘Is there any room fer me?’ she asked, lookin at the women all lookin at the horses lined up ready te take people te the graveyard.
‘Here we go,’ muttered the fat mammy, makin her way te stand beside Nellie an Essie an all the other people. ‘Well we’re not short a hackneys an cabs. They all must a heard an come rushin down, hopin te turn over a few bob,’ she said.
‘Well, I don’t know if there’s many a halfpenny, never min
d a penny, te be made among these paupers!’ sniffed Nellie, givin a dirty look around at all the kids standin in their bare feet, an the mammies wit babbies under their shawls, suckin fer the milk in their diddies. I’m always sayin diddies in me own mind. We’re not supposed te say tha word, but all us childre do! Mammies think we’re foolish we don’t know nothin, but we know tha!
Everyone was out te watch Delia gettin put inta her hearse an say goodbye te her before she left fer ever. We all stood around while Mister Mullins spoke wit the priest, I inched me way over then stood up close te get an earwig.
‘You’ll get yer money, your ten pieces a silver, when you finish the job.’
‘The job! How dare you?! I am a man of God!’ barked Father Flitters.
‘YES THE JOB! Man of God you are not! Judas you are! You betrayed Christ by turnin on his people. You are a bloody Pharisee, squawkin fer yer money on the steps of the house of God! BE CAREFUL YE’RE NOT STRUCK DEAD!’ roared Mister Mullins, gettin snow-white wit the rage on him.
‘WHEN,’ then he lowered his voice, ‘you have buried my Delia will you get your money, an only then! Now let’s go before I have you up in front a the bishop,’ he said, then nodded at the funeral men te close the carriage door on Delia, an then rushed te climb inta the cab an two horses waitin behind.
Father Flitters rushed after him, nearly trippin up in his purple robes, an grabbed up his holy water an shook it like mad through the open winda, drownin Mister Mullins. ‘You! You imbecile! You pagan! Take that!’ An he threw wha was left of the holy water in the silver holy bowl wit the long silver chain right inta the face a Mister Mullins.
We all took in a sharp breath, lettin it out in a heavy moan.
‘You are possessed by Satan!’ warned Father Flitters, fixin his face in a laugh wit the eyes hoppin. ‘But you will pay for this outrage!’ he screamed, goin mad all over again wit his face turnin purple.
‘Fuck off, ye aul redneck bog-trotter!’ snarled Mister Mullins, flyin up the winda, then lookin away.