by Martha Long
She nodded her head keepin the eyes on them. Then she looked over seein the rest a her little babby sisters gettin poured outa the bath, then only te be landed standin on their clothes drippin wit the wet an soakin them.
‘Eh! Young ones! Them’s me little sisters’ clothes youse fuckers are wettin! Are youse fuckin mental or wha? Why don’t ye say somethin?’ she roared, seein the two girls lookin after the little ones completely ignorin her, like she wasn’t there.
The three little sisters stood wit their jaws rattlin an their teeth gnashin, while they got the guts shook outa themself gettin dried an the skin rubbed raw wit a sandpaper towel.
‘Yeah,’ I said, ‘they did the very same thing te my clothes, they got no respect fer other people’s property!’ I snorted, lookin down at the childre’s dirty rags now gettin soaked in a filthy puddle. But still an all, it was them people’s … childre’s clothes, I thought, gettin ragin at the loss a my good Communion stuff.
Next thing I was yanked wit the shift gettin pulled over me head.
‘No! Ye’re not gettin yer hands on me!’ I shouted, seein the young one was on her own wit me, an the new young one was gettin her way. If she can so can I.
‘Let’s stand an fight together,’ I suddenly shouted, escapin an rushin over standin meself next te the new young one.
The two rubbin the skin offa the little ones suddenly stopped wit their mouths dropped open starin around at the young one after she losin the fight wit me. She looked around confused not knowin wha te do.
‘See! They can’t touch us when we stick together,’ I said, nudgin her wit me fist hittin her on the shoulder.
Wit tha the two skin-rubbers suddenly made a move fer me an the other one followed. I leapt behind the new young one an she ducked away an over te her little sisters. One grabbed me from behind, while two a them grabbed hold a me legs an carted me over te the big bath an flung me in, still wearin frock an all. Then the door was thrun open an the new young one wit her gang a little sisters flew out.
‘Jesus!’ I heard the one in charge mutter, then they dropped me leavin me te drown an shot after them.
I gasped an thrashed, flingin me head, flyin me arms an flappin me legs, all wit the water teemin up an down an all round, drownin me even more.
‘MA … MEE … gasp … splutter!’ Me breath was gone but I was up in the air, now down again seein bubbles an me last hour comin. The back a me nose is gettin torn te shreads wit the pain, an me lungs is gettin a wash tha’s not supposed te happen. An I knew now me last hour had come!
Then I was standin wit me arms held wide an the water pourin offa me like a statue in a fountain. ‘I’m … gasp … alive … gasp … lemme out! Where’s the floor? Gasp!’
Then I was grabbin fer the edge haulin meself up an throwin me leg over, runnin fer me life. Out the door I went hearin them all runnin screamin an keenin, up the passage everyone flew, wit all the childre runnin fer their life.
Suddenly I had the idea not te fly wit tha lot. I looked ahead seein they’re all in their skin an goin nowhere. I have a frock plastered te me, but I’m wearin somethin. So if I hide I might manage te make me escape an get home te Dublin!
‘You never know,’ I muttered, turnin meself around an whippin in the opposite direction. I kept runnin hearin them an their roarin fadin away an the quiet comin all around me. All I could hear now, was me own bare feet slappin on the shiny black worn-out stones as I flew, on an on, goin further an deeper inta the dark. I could see me way easy, because I got used now te havin te live wit all tha dark.
Suddenly I heard somethin an pulled meself up fast. I came to a skidded halt, wit me heart stopped dead, stone dead it’s gone wit fright. I shook me head slowly, no, I don’t want te get caught.
‘Wha’s tha?’ I muttered, lookin around wit me mouth left hangin an me eyes an ears gettin wide open, ready te see the slightest move or pick up even the barest whispered sound.
I heard it again – a rumblin sound, maybe a voice. It was comin from far ahead, way along in the distance somewhere.
I wonder how far these passages go? I thought, makin te head off in tha direction but not runnin too fast, no. I want te be ready, just in case someone or somethin – it could even be a monster – suddenly appears outa nowhere an grabs me.
I kept goin hearin the noise gettin louder now, not turnin left nor right but only followin where the noise is comin from.
Then I rounded onta a passage tha was lit up wit candles an heard it very clearly now. A woman’s voice was comin from down near the end, before the passage turns. I crept down seein stairs goin up te me right. I stopped te stare wonderin about tha. Would tha be a way outa here?
Then I heard the voice gettin louder. I turned me head te look, then I was on the move again without even thinkin, headin right down fer where tha voice was comin.
Go back! Why ye comin down here? You’ll get caught! a voice was cryin in me mind, gettin ragin an afraid, me chest was poundin hard wit the pain of it. But I can’t stop meself. I want te see wha’s happenin.
I could see now it was just up ahead, the noise was comin from inside a thick heavy door an it was closed shut. I stopped before reachin it an cocked me head te listen.
‘What is your name?’ a woman’s voice barked. It was low, yet ye knew she was stranglin herself wit rage, tryin not te lose her temper.
‘My name is Ceily Carney, I was born Ceily Carney, an I will be Ceily Carney when I take it to me grave!’ a voice said, soundin like a young girl.
Me heart stopped. I couldn’t take it in! CEILY! I screamed in me mind, just barely managin te slap me hand over me mouth an hold me heart in, stop it from leppin outa me mouth along wit the screams.
‘You are Mary Saint Jude! You will stay here for as long as it takes to indoctrinate you in our holy ways,’ the voice of the nun ordered, speakin very slowly, soundin like it had even MORE than the power of God Almighty himself.
I could feel a rage comin up me. Who the fuck do they think they is takin away my sister’s name?
I was movin in tha direction without even knowin, when I suddenly found meself starin at the door. I couldn’t believe me eyes. The keys! The nun in her hurry must a rushed in leavin the huge bunch a them sittin in the lock! ‘Oh Mammy! Wha will I do?’ I breathed, barely whisperin wit only movin me mouth. ‘Will I take them, lock them in? But how will I get Ceily?’
Me arm was reachin up very slowly, an wit one hand grabbin hold te keep them steady, me other hand was liftin out the key very, very slowly an gently, then stoppin te wait until she started her tormentin again. Wit tha I eased it out an held the mighty bunch a keys in both me hands an backed meself away.
Me heart was slammin in me chest an I could feel my face goin stone cold. Then I was turnin meself an runnin, makin back down the passage headin away from the light te hide down in the dark. I want now te wait fer them an see wha they’ll do.
‘They can’t do much without the keys,’ I panted, starin down feelin them bite inta me two hands tha held them squeezed tight inta me stomach. All I have te do now is hide meself watch an wait. I better pray not te get caught an hope they leave Ceily on her own while they go on their search.
Me mind was flyin, sure nothin could stop us then, we have the keys, we could lock them all in! ‘Oh Mammy! Wherever you are, will you look after us? We need you now, Mammy, please come te us! Oh Holy God, don’t let us down, we need you now more than we ever did before. Amen!’ I prayed, blessin meself quickly, then slid into a dark hole wit a little door in front sittin close te the ground.
I shut the door behind me an crawled through the dark seein nothin. But I could feel damp air around me an lifted me head slowly, gettin up off me knees. I stretched me hands out wantin te feel somethin an hit only air. The stone ground was cold under me but not freezin an the air was the same.
I kept movin slowly wit me back hunched an me arms out wonderin how far this goes. Then I moved meself te the left an after more steps I felt the wall. It was bricks, an they felt wa
rm an a bit crumbly. I put me hands over me head an felt nothin, the ceilin is gettin higher the farther I go in!
I kept goin, on an on I went, goin wit me hands trailin the brick wall an suddenly I was outa the dark an into a light. It wasn’t much, because it was very grey, if you weren’t used te the dark like me, then ye wouldn’t be able te see in it. But I can! I can see very well in this dark-grey light.
I let me eyes open wide seein I was now standin in front of a stone stairs wit a small landin an a very heavy-lookin door. It was black an low, wit a steel cover around the lock. Beside tha was a slit just above the ground lettin in a slant of light. It had two heavy bars across an it was only a slit of a winda, but it was enough, it let in the light te show me where I was.
I looked seein where I was standin, takin it all in, then back at wha was behind me. It’s a tunnel! I’m in a hidden passage an tha door up there looks like it could be the way out!
I felt the heavy bunch a keys weighin down me two arms an looked down at them. ‘God, ye must be helpin me! Is this the way out? Oh Mammy! Do I have the key?’ There must be a hundred, I thought, lookin at the old black huge iron keys.
Me hands was shakin as I slipped a key inta the lock. I pushed an twisted, but nothin happened. Wrong one!
I kept goin one after another, until me hands was hangin off an me fingers nearly broke. Then it happened! My eyes stared an I stopped breathin te hold meself dead still. The key was turnin an suddenly the door started te ease open! I heard the creak an watched it comin towards me. I moved me feet an suddenly I was on the outside wit the light blindin me shuttin me eyes fast. I was feelin the cold air an the wind on me face. I stepped out further, feelin grass under me feet an hearin the roar of the Atlantic Ocean in me ears. ‘The ferocious Atlantic Ocean!’ Tha’s wha Oisin called it. Then me head cleared an me eyes opened te see where I was an wha was all around me. I was on the outside wit nothin behind me but the sea, an in front the massive stone buildin. It was so high me neck strained lookin up, an it’s makin me feel very small, standin up offa the ground.
Me head spun around, seein a path leadin down an away from here, goin back te meet the road tha leads te Dublin an outa here! Wha will I do? Will I start runnin while I’m ahead as Mammy would say? Or will I go back now an try te get Ceily? If I got back te Dublin I could tell people wha happened! Tell Mister Mullins an the Fat Mammy wha Father Flitters did.
‘Oh wha will I do?’ I keened, feelin me heart racin an I’m goin all hot an cold now, it must be comin wit the sudden shock. Me teeth started te rattle an I could feel the soppin wet frock goin very cold as it started te flap an lift, wantin te dry out wit all the wind. I looked back at the ocean seein it ragin up against the rocks of the cliffs, then steam out again, goin all white an foamy. Me frock lifted at the back then slapped down again, smackin the legs offa me.
Lily! a voice whispered.
I held me breath te listen.
Keep your head, do one thing at a time. Listen carefully, the main thing is to stay hidden, use this advantage an work fast. Now ease your way back an get Ceily out. But listen, Lily! I mean move very carefully, especially when you get there, and whatever you do, stay hidden! Don’t mess this up, Lily! It may be the only chance you will ever get! Now go! the voice whispered, wantin me te move, because I was tryin te work out who it was. It didn’t sound like Mammy, it sounded like Delia!
I nodded me head an started te move back in, whisperin te meself. ‘OK, Ceily! I’m goin te get you out! But whatever happens, they will never get me again, because I am goin te be like the spider. I will be here watchin an waitin, but they will never see me. I knew learnin te live an move in the dark would come in handy! Them nuns an young ones are used te the light from their candles. Fuck them. They’re no match for me! I can be as bold now as I want!’
About the Author
Martha Long was born in Dublin in the early 1950s and still lives there today. She has written seven critically acclaimed volumes of autobiography, including the bestselling Ma, He Sold Me for a Few Cigarettes. Run, Lily, Run is her fiction debut.
Also by Martha Long
Ma, He Sold Me For a Few Cigarettes
Ma, I’m Getting Meself a New Mammy
Ma, It’s a Cold Aul Night an I’m Lookin for a Bed
Ma, Now I’m Goin Up in the World
Ma, I’ve Got Meself Locked Up in the Mad House
Ma, I’ve Reached for the Moon an I’m Hittin the Stars
Ma, Jackser’s Dyin Alone
TRANSWORLD IRELAND
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First published in 2014 by Transworld Ireland a division of Transworld Publishers
Copyright © Martha Long 2014
Martha Long has asserted her right under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 to be identified as the author of this work.
This book is a work of fiction and, except in the case of historical fact, any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.
A CIP catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library.
Version 1.0 Epub ISBN 9781473510326
ISBN 9781848272095
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