Sharing Hell (Hell Virus Book 3)

by Aurelia Skye

  “Three,” said Sofia.

  “Names?”

  “Sofia Vargas, Ben Howell, and Joshua Norris.”

  Alyssa recorded the names. “Ben’s your leader, right?”

  Sofia shrugged. “He was until tonight. Now, I don’t know.”

  I smiled at her, trying to offer reassurance. “We’ll figure it all out together, Sofia. The important thing is, you’re all safe now.”

  Sofia’s normally golden brown skin paled, and she looked haunted. “Don’t ever fall for that, Natalie. No place is safe anymore. Some places are just safer than others.”

  She spoke from experience, and it sent a chill down my spine at the reminder. After having been a captive at Fort Glacier for a year, and then pursued relentlessly by them before being retaken a few weeks ago, I knew she definitely had an insight I lacked. I hoped to keep it that way, but I couldn’t deny the reality of her words. It wasn’t safe to get complacent.

  “Sofia is just down the hall from your room, if you don’t mind showing her where it is?”

  I nodded at Alyssa.

  “Oh, wait. What about the little boy? Does he have parents?”

  Sofia and I both spoke together at the same time. “No.”

  “Where should I put him?” asked Alyssa.

  “I’ll take him,” said Sofia.

  My arms tightened automatically around him. “No, put him in my room for now. You need your rest, Sofia.” I looked pointedly at her stomach, which might be showing the faintest signs of rounding. She could only be about eight weeks along, so I might be imagining that. Either way, she didn’t need to overdo it, and I didn’t want to let go of Grayson, though I couldn’t explain the sudden maternal urge to be near him. I hadn’t spent much time with him when I lived at the camp, and he’d always been with Sofia or the other women. She was his teacher, and I wasn’t much of anything to him, but I was still loath to let him go.

  Sofia shrugged. “I’d appreciate resting tonight, but I’m willing to take him from tomorrow onwards.”

  I nodded. “I might be ready to let you by then.” I said the words lightly, but I wasn’t sure I meant them. Something about the way he had curled up against me, his eyes so trusting, had touched a part of me that had never come to life before. I knew it was my maternal side, but children had been the last thing on my mind before HLV. Having children after HLV seemed like a nightmare, so I had vaguely assumed I would never be a mother. Until tonight, I had been just fine with that decision, and perhaps I would be again after gaining some perspective and recovering from the trauma of the evening.

  Sofia and I moved away, and I led her to the room designated for her, Ben, and Joshua. She waved the keycard Alyssa had given her to enter, and we parted ways for the evening.

  Exhaustion was creeping over me, and I made my way back to the room I shared with my men. Officially, it was just Chris and Finn, and I hadn’t yet had a chance to ask Avi what he might want to do. I was positive Lian would stay with his father, at least for now, but I was too tired to try to sort out how I felt about that.

  After entering the room, I took Grayson to the bathroom and washed him up. His face was covered with soot, and his hair smelled like smoke. He barely woke when I washed it in the sink, and I checked his pulse, finding it strong and steady. I also stripped off his clothes, looking for any signs of injury, and found nothing. I figured he was just emotionally and physically drained like the rest of us.

  I laid him in bed before taking yet another shower myself. I dressed in pajamas before joining him and curled up beside the little boy. I was almost asleep when the door opened, and I blinked open my eyes long enough to see Chris. He held a keycard, and I assumed Alyssa had issued it to him. I wanted to say something, but was too tired, so I let myself fall back to sleep, needing to escape from the reality of what had happened, and seeking refuge in what was thankfully a deep and dreamless rest.

  Chapter Twelve

  Considering the night before, I slept better than expected and woke semi-refreshed. At some point, Grayson had turned away from me and was now curled up against a sleeping Chris, who had a protective hand on the little boy’s back. Seeing them together, it hit me how right it felt and looked. Finn was on Chris’s other side, turned away from both of them, and Avi hadn’t shared the room last night. That probably meant he still hadn’t returned from recon, or he was debriefing.

  That put a sense of urgency into my morning preparations, and I slipped out the door twenty minutes later, moving quietly so as not to disturb the three sleeping on the bed.

  I made my way down the corridor, drawn by the sound of loud voices raised in anger directing me toward the cafeteria. When I stepped inside, the source of the noise was obvious. Jeff was practically climbing over Ben, who appeared to have inserted himself in front of the other man to block his attempt to reach Collier. Jeff was obviously distraught. His daughter, Lori, was one who’d been taken, so I had some sympathy.

  Apparently, Collier did as well, because he refrained from shoving the guy back when he got too close. He just took a step back, seemed to pause for a deep breath, and said, “I want to get them back as badly as you do, but there’s no sense going out there without having an idea where they are. We have to wait for the last of our recon teams to report in. If they don’t have anything, I’m sending a new round of teams. We’re not going to give up, and we won’t leave the women at their mercy. But there’s no point in going right now. You’ll just get yourself killed, or wander aimlessly around and get no closer to saving your daughter.”

  The words were firm, and the truth, though harsh, was irrefutable. Still, Jeff seemed to hesitate for a moment before his body slackened, and the obvious fight went out of him—at least temporarily. He took a step back before nodding. “I’ll give you one more day. Then I’m going out there with or without your help.”

  “That’s your choice, but it would be a mistake to try to do this alone. I understand how you feel—”

  Jeff snorted. “How could you possibly understand? You didn’t know any of the women taken, and it’s not your daughter out there.”

  Collier stiffened, and then his expression changed to one of feigned neutrality. “You’re right, of course. It was a poor choice of words. I can empathize with how hard this is. The best thing you can do for Lori is to make smart decisions, and going out half halfcocked alone isn’t a smart decision.”

  As stubborn as I remembered, Jeff simply shrugged. “Like I said, I’ll give you one day.” With that, he turned and stalked away.

  I let out a startled yelp when a hand reached out and grabbed my hair. I turned my head, tensing for a fight, and let out a rough breath of relief instead. I flashed Grayson a smile as my ovaries exploded at the sight of Chris easily carrying the little boy. From his own words, I knew he had no experience with children and had never gotten to meet the child Erin had carried, but he seemed to be a natural.

  Grayson held out his arms in my direction, wiggling his fingers in a demanding fashion. I reached for him, accepting the solid weight of his thin body. He snuggled against me, and I put my head to his and rubbed my cheek against his soft blond hair.

  “We woke up without you,” said Finn, as he ambled up to join us. “I didn’t like that.”

  “Neither did I,” said Chris.

  “I didn’t like that,” parroted Grayson. “Where was you, Mommy?”

  My heart skipped a beat as the word slipped from his mouth, and I wondered how to handle it. Should I gently remind him I wasn’t his mommy? His mother was likely dead. I couldn’t imagine she would have left him to wander alone if she was alive. Did I remind him of her? We had almost the same shade of blonde hair, the boy and I, making me wonder if his mother had had a similar color or hairstyle. “You know I’m not your real mommy, don’t you, Grayson?”

  He shrugged, clearly uninterested in a drawn-out and heartfelt discussion. “You’re New Mommy.” He leaned back against Chris, temporarily putting his head on his shoulder. “New Daddy?�
�� He asked the question with obvious hopefulness.

  Chris and I exchanged a long glance, and I shrugged. I wasn’t certain what to tell him, but if he was as drawn to Grayson as I was, he’d figure out his own answer, and it would likely match mine.

  “I’d like that very much,” said Chris after a pause, his voice sounding thick.

  “Who am I then?” asked Finn, his brogue exaggerated for Grayson’s benefit.

  The little boy giggled. “You talk funny, Uncle Finn.”

  I held my breath as I waited to see if Finn would accept the role of uncle easily, or if there would be hint of jealousy at being relegated to what could be considered a lesser role. Instead, he grinned and seemed pleased with the moniker.

  I wondered how Avi and Lian would react to the apparently abrupt addition to our little unit. How would Grayson would interact with them, and would they take to the change in our situation as easily as Chris and Finn had? It could be a potential source of conflict. That thought made my stomach churn with nerves and killed any appetite I had as I moved toward the breakfast line already forming.

  I still went through the motions of getting a tray, but spent most of the meal helping Grayson.

  Sofia and Joshua entered the cafeteria as we were close to finishing up, and I waved at her. She came closer, looking a bit pale, and I frowned. “Are you all right?”

  “Morning sickness,” she said with a grimace. “Joshua and Ben want me to try to eat, but they have no concept of how hard that is at the moment.”

  “I can imagine.” Not completely, and I was glad it wasn’t me.

  “Mommy, cut my sausage.”

  I looked back at Grayson, tackling the task as I said, “You need to ask nicely next time. Don’t forget to say please. And thank you.”

  When I looked back at Sofia, interest filled her eyes. I shrugged, feeling a little bit embarrassed about the exchange, and how Grayson had readily identified me as Mommy.

  Sofia was smiling. “I guess that answers the question of whether or not I’ll need to take care of Grayson. He seems to have attached himself to you.”

  “Us,” I corrected automatically. “Though I wouldn’t mind if you felt like watching him during the day while we’re out on runs.”

  Sofia nodded. “Of course. I plan to resume classes as soon as everything settles down and everyone’s back.” Her expression clouded for a moment. “Lori was training to be my teacher’s assistant, and from what Ben tells me, there are seven or eight children here on base who probably need a more structured schooling system too. It’s one of the first things I plan to tackle, after I speak with Collier.”

  At Camp Utopia, we had estimated Grayson was three, based on what he’d told us, so he wasn’t technically ready for school, but I knew from living at the camp that he enjoyed hanging out in the classroom with the older kids while coloring or practicing ABCs when Sofia had time.

  It was one less concern weighing on me, because I trusted Sofia to keep him safe. I still couldn’t explain the almost immediate bond I’d formed with him in the aftermath of Camp Utopia burning to the ground. I hadn’t paid much attention to him other than in passing when I lived at the camp, so I wasn’t certain how we had bonded so quickly, other than I supposed it was just a link we both needed.

  I looked up as Sofia and Joshua moved to join the morning line, and my heart skipped a beat. I pushed away from the table and ran to meet Avi when he stepped into the cafeteria. He was alone and looked exhausted. I reached him just before Collier and threw my arms around him, wanting to do much more, but restraining myself from a too-public display of affection in front of his commanding officer. Or something like that.

  Fortunately, Avi wasn’t restrained, and his mouth settled on mine for a long kiss before he lifted his head and finally looked at Collier, who stood nearby. “Good morning, sir.”

  “Did you find anything?”

  Avi sighed. “Not yet, but I’ve already arranged for another rotation to head out. Five of the six scouts you sent last night have checked in, all without results.”

  “Who’s still out there?” asked Collier.

  “Zach Bartlett. I hope he returns with good news.”

  “You and me both, before certain people decide to do something rash that’s going to get them all killed.”

  I was certain he referred to Jeff, though Avi looked a little confused, having missed the exchange. I moved as they started discussing strategy, forcing myself to walk away, but conscious of Avi’s presence behind me. I was relieved he’d made it back safely.

  I had just returned to my chair when the nape of my neck prickled, and I looked at the doorway once again. Lian and his father entered, and my gaze locked with Lian’s. I made no effort to hide the hunger raging through me at the sight of him, and his eyebrows shot upward. He cast a rueful glance at his father before sending me an apologetic look and shuffling the older man toward the line.

  I studiously avoided looking at Liu and returned my attention to the tray. I was finally able to muster some appetite and consumed a few bites of everything.

  Shortly after breakfast, Collier issued a base-wide announcement that gave us all the day off unless we had essential duties to perform. That left us free to spend the day however we wished, and normally, that would have involved me and one or more of my men in bed together.

  Grayson changed that, but it was a pleasant surprise to see that no one seemed to bear any resentment toward the child for doing so. Avi was a little awkward in his interactions with Grayson, but I figured that was due to lack of experience with children rather than dislike of this particular child. When his gaze warmed as Grayson started calling him Uncle Avi, the nervous tension I’d carried about his reaction faded away.

  That only left Lian, and I had no idea how he would feel about or react to Grayson unofficially joining our little…unit? Family? Did I dare use that word in relation to my polyamorous relationship with the four men and impromptu adoption of orphaned Grayson? I knew I wanted to, but I wasn’t absolutely confident that we were truly a family yet. Things were still new with Lian, and he might choose to walk away. The thought sent a pang through my chest, but I couldn’t turn my back on Grayson, so I could only hope Lian liked children, or could at least adjust to Grayson’s presence.

  When Grayson fell asleep, snuggled on a mound of blankets on the floor, I slipped off the bed and stood up, moving toward the exit of the room. The three men sharing the space watched me, but none of them called out or asked where I was going. Probably they had already guessed and didn’t need confirmation.

  I made my way down the hall, drawing in a deep breath as I prepared myself to face Liu if Lian didn’t answer. I knocked on the metal door that hissed open a couple of moments later. It was eerily like the last time I’d stood in this position, down to the unwelcoming look on Liu’s face. “Is Lian here?”

  “He’s sleeping. Collier plans to send him out tonight on the next recon mission, so he’s trying to prepare.”

  “I just need to talk to him for a few minutes.” I didn’t want to disturb his rest, but I also hadn’t spoken to him all day, and while part of my impatience was due to wanting to tell him about Grayson, another part was simply because I wanted to see him and feel his arms around me no matter how briefly.

  “Go away. Get it through your head that you aren’t good enough for him and steer clear.”

  I really tried to be diplomatic and kept my voice gentle. “I understand I’m not who you would’ve chosen for Lian, but I guarantee you that no one could care about him more than I do. He makes me happy, and I make him happy. As his father, isn’t that important to you?”

  He scowled at me. “Sweets used to make him happy too, but they were bad for his teeth. After he got cavities, his mother and I banned all sweet things from the house, and he never had another cavity again. Things that make him happy aren’t always good for him, and it’s my duty to protect him from such matters.”

  I let out a soft sigh. “He’s a g
rown man, and he can make his own decisions. All I’m asking is for you to give me a chance.”

  “Never,” he said in a stern tone. “With your harem of men, and the way you bounce around base like the whore that you are, I would never accept you.”

  I glared at him. “I’m not a whore.”

  His skepticism was obvious. “What do you call a woman who allows herself to be used by multiple men?”

  “Not a whore, that’s for sure. Things have changed now, and you have to adapt to that, Liu.”

  “When I was in the army, we knew how to deal with women like you.” He sneered at me. “You will stay away from my son.”

  I glared at him as I took an inadvertent step forward. “I won’t, and you can’t keep us apart. He’s an adult, and he knows what he wants.”

  “He wants a whore.”

  That was the last time he called me that. Without thinking, my hand lifted and struck him across the cheek. “I’m not a whore.” I stared in horror at the red imprint forming on his cheek, shocked that he had driven me to that point. I started to take a step back, drawing in a deep breath to apologize.

  I never saw it coming. One moment, his arms were at his side, and the next, he had lifted one and backhanded me across the cheek, sending me stumbling back several steps into the hallway. For an older man, he still had quick reflexes, and I stared at him in shock as I cupped my cheek. I supposed I technically had that coming, since I had struck him first, but it was such a shock.

  “What the hell is going on?” asked Lian, emerging from the hallway. Their quarters were laid out nicer than mine apparently, with separate bedrooms. He still looked sleepy, at least until he took in the scene before him. Then his spine stiffened, and he moved toward me.

  My mouth dropped open in stunned surprise when Liu waved his keycard at the panel, making the door slam before Lian could reach me. I leaned back against the corridor, cupping my throbbing cheek in my hand, and tried to make out what they were saying through the closed door. I couldn’t hear their words, but could definitely hear the angry undertones.