Bunco Babes Tell All

by Maria Geraci

  “So the Flamingos were right!” exclaimed Tina.

  It was Kitty’s turn to roll. The dice went flying off the table. “How did you get a copy of tomorrow’s paper?”

  “I ran by Corbits on my way home from work. They already had tomorrow’s edition stocked. I only had a second, so I just skimmed the front page. I don’t know any of the details yet.”

  Great. Corbits couldn’t keep their vegetables crisp but they were Johnny-on-the-spot when it came to fresh gossip.

  “What do you think?” Lorraine asked Frida. “Do you think the condos will be good for business?”

  Frida shrugged. “It could go either way for me. It could help, but if a big chain like Starbucks decides to come in, I’ll be done for.”

  “I adore Starbucks,” Kitty’s mother said. “I especially love their pumpkin spice latte. But they only serve that in the fall.”

  “Starbucks is the devil,” said Frida.

  Her mother looked alarmed. “I never knew that!”

  Dear God. How many mango daiquiris had her mother drunk?

  “Frida owns a small independent coffeehouse,” Pilar explained gently. “It’s only natural she’d feel threatened by a big national chain like Starbucks.”

  “Oh,” said her mother. “Well, I’m still very proud of my girl. This condo deal is going to set her up.”

  Everyone stopped rolling the dice. “Kitty, are you the Realtor in that deal?” Lorraine asked.

  Her mother took another sip of her daiquiri and smiled. “Not only that, but Katherine’s life is really picking up. You should see her hunky new boyfriend.”

  “Boyfriend?” repeated Frida. “Kitty, I didn’t know you had a boyfriend.”

  Kitty tried to laugh it off. “Mom, you just rolled a one. You get to roll again.” She looked over at Pilar to find her staring at her. Kitty made an “isn’t my mother crazy?” face. But Pilar didn’t smile back.

  “I suppose the fact that this Steve what’s-his-name has been married and divorced three times doesn’t bode well in his favor,” continued her mother, “although personally, I don’t see multiple marriages as the big failure my daughter does. But if it doesn’t work out between them, I think Katherine should consider moving. She’s never going to find an eligible man in this town. Don’t you girls agree?”

  “Steve Pappas?” Frida set her dice on the card table. “I thought you told us there was nothing going on between you two,” she said, staring at Kitty.

  Kitty swallowed hard.

  Her mother nodded. “Steve Pappas, that’s his name. Doesn’t it sound sexy? And believe me, there was plenty going on,” her mother said, chuckling. “Katherine thinks I’m too naïve to know when a man has spent the night. But I wasn’t born yesterday.”

  “We aren’t dating. Not really,” rushed Kitty. Only they were, but this wasn’t how she had planned to break the news to them. “Whose turn is it?” she asked, desperately wishing they’d go back to playing. Why had she ever agreed to let her mother come along?

  “If you aren’t dating, then what are you doing?” asked Tina.

  “Yeah,” said Pilar. “What are you doing?”

  Maybe if she was vague enough, Pilar would think her mother was talking about the one-night stand.

  “You know,” Kitty said, purposely catching Pilar’s eye. “It was just . . . well, it was sort of like friends with benefits, but without the being-friends part.”

  “What are the benefits?” asked her mother, looking around the room in confusion.

  “Sex,” said Pilar flatly.

  “Oh,” her mother said, nodding. “I already knew they were having sex. I practically caught them at it the morning I came in. I just didn’t realize ‘benefits’ was the new term for it.” She laughed. “Benefits, unclogging the toilet. My generation just called it screwing.”

  Pilar stood and faced Kitty. “I can’t believe you’re still seeing that loser! You lied to me.”

  “I didn’t. Not exactly.” She narrowed her eyes at her mother. “Mom, I think you’ve had too much to drink.”

  Her mother stared down at her empty glass. “You mean there’s liquor in here?”

  “Kit, didn’t you sit here at Bunco a couple of weeks ago and tell us you weren’t seeing this guy?” asked Tina.

  “I guess, maybe, I might have . . .”

  “Why didn’t you tell us the truth?” Frida asked. “I thought we told each other everything. You know, what happens at Bunco stays at Bunco.”

  “I—”

  “If you didn’t want us to know, all you had to do is tell us to mind our own business,” Pilar said, having the audacity to look hurt.

  Kitty felt a bolt of anger shoot through her. “Yeah, right.”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?” Pilar asked.

  “It means that maybe if you were there for me a little bit more instead of always running off to work, then I would have told you.” Kitty picked up the dice and rolled. “I just got two ones.”

  Pilar grabbed the dice off the table. “What do you mean I’m not there for you?”

  Kitty placed her palm out. “Hand over those dice!”

  “Not until you tell us what’s going on.”

  “What’s going on?” she repeated, sounding a little hysterical to her own ears. “I’ll tell you what’s going on. The past few days have been the shittiest of my life. The senior center is going to be torn down and even though it’s not directly my fault, it seems that way. How I am I going to explain that to Mrs. Pantini? And every time I talk to you and Shea about it all you two do is brush me off. And then you walk in on me and Nick talking and you think there’s some sort of conspiracy between us.”

  “I can’t believe you’re taking Nick’s side in this,” Pilar said.

  “I’m not taking anyone’s side,” Kitty said.

  “Well, you should! I’m your best friend, for fuck’s sake!”

  “And then there’s Shea, off doing who knows what!” Kitty collapsed in her seat. “I think . . . I think Shea’s having an affair. With Walt Walters,” Kitty managed in a horrified whisper.

  Pilar’s mouth dropped open.

  “No way!” protested Frida.

  The room began to buzz.

  Kitty placed her head in her hands. How had the evening deteriorated so quickly? “I’ve seen her Navigator parked in front of Dolphin Isles twice now. And both times she’s denied it. But I know it was her car. And she admitted to me the other day that she was bored with her love life. If she’s not having an affair with Walt Walters, then what’s she doing at Dolphin Isles? She despises the place!”

  “Shea and Walt Walters?” croaked Brenda. “But she was homecoming queen! She could do a lot better than Walt Walters.”

  “Maybe Moose is having an affair?” suggested Tina.

  Pilar glared at Tina. “Just because you thought Brett was having an affair doesn’t mean Moose is,” she said referring to Tina’s husband.

  “But Brett wasn’t having an affair. He was off gambling,” said Liz.

  “Do you think Moose is gambling?” asked Brenda. “Maybe they have to sell their big house to pay off his gambling debts and that’s why Shea is hanging out at Dolphin Isles. Maybe they have to downsize.”

  “Moose and Shea are not buying a house at Dolphin Isles!” shouted Pilar. “And Shea is not having an affair with Walt Walters. Or anyone else.”

  “Then what’s she been doing there?” asked Kitty. “Every time I ask her about it, she comes back with some bullshit reason. And where is she now? Don’t you think it’s strange she’s an hour late for Bunco? Shea’s never late for Bunco.”

  For a moment, the room went silent.

  “You’re right,” Pilar finally admitted. “Something’s wrong.”

  “I say we find Shea and confront her,” said Tina. “The way we confronted Brett about his gambling problem.”

  Kitty’s mother stood, wobbling slightly. “Count me in.”

  “How many cars are we going to need?
” asked Lorraine, running to retrieve her keys. “If I pull out the car seats, my mi nivan can seat seven.”

  “So does mine,” said Tina.

  “Then we’re only going to need two cars,” said Mimi.

  Liz gulped down the rest of her daiquiri. “Where should we look first?”

  Pilar met Kitty’s gaze. “I think we should start at Dolphin Isles.”

  Brenda frowned. “Does this mean we’re not playing Bunco tonight?”

  No one bothered to answer that. They were all too busy grabbing purses and running for the door.

  Frida looked at Kitty and shook her head. “I knew we should have done a book club instead.”

  38

  It was a quarter past eight and still light outside. The model homes at Dolphin Isles were conveniently open till nine. Tina and Lorraine parked their minivans on Seagull Drive, two blocks from the subdivision’s main street.

  “Why did we park way out here?” asked Kitty.

  “So they won’t see us coming. This is how we did it when we confronted Brett. Remember?” said Mimi. “It’s called ‘the element of surprise.’ ”

  Kitty glanced at Pilar, who looked as tense as Kitty felt. Whatever they found out tonight, it wouldn’t be the end of the world. Would it? Or maybe it would. At least their world as they knew it.

  Brenda swiped her palm over her bottom, brushing off a shower of cookie crumbs. “Gross. You shouldn’t let your kids eat in the car, Lorraine.”

  Lorraine began to protest but Tina cut her off. “We don’t have time for this now. Look,” she said, pointing to the white Lincoln Navigator parked around the corner. “There’s Shea’s car.”

  Kitty’s heart sank. It was true. Shea was having an affair with Walt Walters. The visual on that was too much to think about. “We can’t just all go barging in there,” she said.

  “Why not?” asked her mother. “It’s how you do an intervention.”

  “Your mom’s right,” said Frida. “There’s strength in numbers.”

  “We could circle around the house and each of us could go in from different doors,” suggested Tina. “That way if Shea and Walt Walters try to escape, we’d have them cornered.”

  “I really hope that’s a joke,” Kitty muttered.

  “I say we go into the house, look Shea in the eye, and demand to know what she’s doing here instead of playing Bunco where she should be,” said Liz.

  Eleven pairs of eyes turned to Kitty.

  “I say we do it Liz’s way,” said Kitty.

  “Agreed,” said Pilar.

  They marched up to the model home. It was the Blue Lagoon, although it didn’t look any different from the Calypso or, for that matter, any of the other models Kitty had seen.

  The Babes and her mother all crammed into the foyer.

  Walt Walters was sitting in the living room, looking over paperwork. Kitty felt some of the coiled-up tension ease off. At least they hadn’t caught Walt and Shea in the act. She was about to demand to know where Shea was when she caught sight of a man with dark hair sitting across from Walt.

  Kitty did a double take.

  It was Steve. And sitting next to Steve was Ted’s attorney, Teresa.

  “What are you doing here? With her?” she asked him, looking at Teresa.

  Steve stood, his mouth set in a grim line.

  Walt looked delighted at the prospect of a large crowd entering one of his model homes. “Anyone looking for a house, ladies?”

  Kitty’s mother turned to Steve. “Are you two-timing my daughter with this . . . this hussy?” she asked, pointing a finger at Teresa.

  Teresa raised a perfectly tweezed brow. “This is your mother, Katherine? How charming.” She gave Kitty’s mother a smile that would freeze water in August. “I’m Teresa Hargrove, Steve’s wife.”

  “Ex-wife,” Steve said. He eyed the crowd behind Kitty. “Can we talk? In private?”

  “I thought your ex’s name was Terrie.”

  “Anything you have to say to Kitty, you can say in front of us,” declared Pilar. “She doesn’t want to be your fauxship anymore. She’s too good for that. Right, girls?”

  “Right!” shouted the Babes.

  Teresa folded her arms across her chest. “Aren’t you going to introduce us to the rest of your posse, Katherine?”

  “We’re not her posse,” declared Liz. “We’re the Bunco Babes.”

  “What’s a fauxship?” Kitty’s mother asked right before letting out a huge burp.

  Kitty winced. “Transition relationship gone bad.”

  “Transition relationship?” echoed Steve.

  Teresa looked amused. “That’s the person who helps you get over someone else.”

  “I know what it is,” he said to Teresa over his shoulder. He narrowed his eyes at Kitty. “Is that what you thought you were? Someone to help me get over my ex-wife?”

  “I don’t know. Maybe.”

  Teresa shook her head. “First Steve, now Ted.” Her eyes with the impossibly long lashes widened. “Are you the woman who almost burned my house to the ground?”

  “Our house,” Steve shot back at Teresa.

  “That was your house?” Kitty sputtered. She shook her head to clear the fuzz between her ears. “You never answered my question. What are you doing here at Dolphin Isles?”

  “Mr. Pappas owns this place,” Walt announced. He puffed his chest out proudly. “I told you I knew the bigwigs at TNT.”

  Kitty took a step back. “You’re TNT?”

  “I can explain. In private,” Steve emphasized again.

  “Yeah, you keep saying that.” It was all happening so fast she couldn’t think straight. “You lied to me.”

  “I never lied to you,” Steve said.

  “You told me you were an out-of-work construction worker. I thought you were poor! I actually felt sorry for you!”

  “I said I was in between jobs and that I’d worked construction in the past,” Steve said, his voice tight. “Anything else you thought about me, you assumed.”

  “Katherine’s not going anywhere with you,” her mother said. “I should have seen it right away. You’re just like her father. A no-good philanderer. A male jezebel!”

  Kitty whipped around to face her mother. “Mom, don’t talk about Daddy like that.”

  “It’s time you knew the truth, Katherine. Your father was an unfaithful SOB who cared more about his own selfish pleasures than he did his family.”

  Kitty threw her hands in the air. “Talk about the pot calling the kettle black! Mother, you’re the most selfish person I know! You’re here because you’ve given your husband an ultimatum between you or his daughter. I mean, who does that?”

  Her mother flinched.

  The room went silent. Everyone was staring at her. The Babes and Walt Walters looked shocked. Teresa looked like the cat who’d swallowed the canary and Steve . . . well, she couldn’t tell what Steve was thinking. His face was eerily blank. Of course he’d have an excellent poker face. It went hand in hand with the liar thing.

  Kitty swallowed hard. How could she have said all that to her own mother? And in front of everyone? “Mom, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it.”

  Walt made a loud harrumphing sound meant to get everyone’s attention. “Did I mention that TNT”—he threw an awkward smile Steve’s way—“is holding a sale this month? Buy any one of our homes and get a free washer and dryer.”

  “We didn’t come to look at your little houses,” Pilar said. “We came to find Shea Masterson. Where is she? We know you’re hiding her here somewhere.”

  Walt sniffed. “The Mastersons are here to buy a home. I’m sorry, but I can’t have my customers harassed by a bunch of . . . Bunco broads or whatever you call yourselves.”

  “Bunco Babes,” Frida clarified.

  “We’re not here to harass any customers,” Kitty said. “We just want to look over the model.” She took off down the hallway, fending Walt off before he could get in her way. She was determined to confront She
a. And get away from Steve. At the moment, she wasn’t sure which one she wanted more.

  She looked into the two bedrooms on the right. In between the bedrooms was a bathroom decorated in an island motif. All three rooms were empty.

  “Do you think she ran out the back?” Tina asked.

  Kitty turned the corner to find a small hallway leading to what she assumed was the garage. There was a door on her right and one on her left.

  Steve came up behind her. “We need to talk.”

  “I need to find Shea,” she said, opening the door to her left. It was an empty linen closet.

  “Wow,” said Liz. “I wish I had a linen closet that big.”

  “I’d love to show you the Calypso,” said Walt. “The linen closet in that model is even bigger. And you should see the pantry!”

  “Will you shut up? I already told you, no one wants to buy a house from you,” Pilar said, giving Walt what Kitty knew was the evil eye. Pilar swore only low-class Cubans ever went around giving anyone the evil eye. Walt must really be getting on Pilar’s nerves if she was stooping to that.

  Kitty turned around. Eleven Babes, including herself, her mother, Steve, Teresa, and Walt Walters were all crammed into one narrow hallway like a big conga line. “This is ridiculous. What are we doing here?”

  “I thought we were confronting Shea,” said Pilar.

  “Well, it’s obvious she’s not here,” said Kitty.

  There was a muffled sound from behind the door on the right. “What’s in there?” Kitty asked Walt.

  “The laundry room. Complete with a state-of-the-art washer and dryer,” Walt added, trying to catch Liz’s eye.

  Kitty put her ear to the door. There was a distinct thud-thud-thud noise coming from the room. She turned to the Babes. “There’s something in there,” she whispered.

  “I hope it’s not palmetto bugs,” said Brenda. “I can take anything but palmetto bugs.”

  “There are no bugs in this house,” Walt said indignantly. “We spray every Monday.”

  Kitty threw back the door. The Babes, plus her mother and Walt, all fought one another to jockey for a position next to her in the doorway.