The Fraternity Files

by Stephanie Joeline Kerfoot

  “Don’t know,” Kevin shrugged, letting the weights rest on the bar for a moment. “I’m just busy I guess, trying to pass everything, stay up with the studying! Besides, I’m not supposed to be doing anything fun! Remember?”

  “Your brothers didn’t mean practice and you know it!” Sean replied shortly. “In fact that was supposed to be on your schedule!”

  “Oh, well excuse me for not obeying every single command set by my three lords and masters! I’ve done every other fucking thing they wanted me to do, so I don’t know what their problem is!”

  “They do not have a problem, Kevin! They are content to let things go and happy that you’re putting time into your classes.”

  “Well, what are you doing here, then?!” Kevin demanded.

  “I’m here to find out what’s going on with you,” Sean admitted quietly, “but they didn’t send me.”

  “Well, who did?! And how’d you find me, anyway?! Did James tell you where I was?”

  “No, James did not tell me. I just had a hunch . . . .”

  “Yeah, right!”

  “ . . . and nobody sent me. I’m here on my own.”

  “Why? What do you care?”

  “What do you mean, ‘What do I care?’” Sean returned. “The team needs you, Kev! Don’t you know that?” Kevin was silent now as he continued lifting, but Sean could see he was getting to him. He waited another moment and then tried again. “Come on, Kev, why aren’t you coming to practice?” There was still no answer as Kevin pretended to be concentrating really hard on his lifting. “Is it because you’re embarrassed?” Sean pushed gently. There was another pause. “Don’t be embarrassed, Kev‘bo,” he went on quietly. “Most of us have been there at one time or another. No one’s going to say anything and if they do, they’re going to find themselves in hot water . . . .”

  “I just don’t want to go, Sean! Ok?” Kevin cried, tears welling in his eyes. Sean was quiet for a moment.

  “Well, it may not be about what you want, anymore, Kevin,” he replied softly at last. “You have made a commitment to the team, and by skipping practice you are letting everybody down!”

  “Like anybody really gives a shit!” Kevin snapped.

  “We all give a shit, Kevin!” Sean retorted, really feeling angry for the first time. “Did you even know we lost last week?”

  “Yeah, so?” Kevin returned crisply.

  “You don’t care?” Sean demanded. Kevin shrugged. “We almost lost, yesterday, too, you know, Kev’bo.”

  “Oh, please!” Kevin snorted. “Like that really would have happened! Losses fire Danny up! He never loses two in a row!” Sean quickly dropped his free weights on the floor and sat on the bench next to Kevin’s. The next time Kevin lifted the weight Sean took it from him and set it back on its bar. “What the hell are you doing?!” Kevin screeched.

  “Sit up!” Sean commanded.

  “What?”

  “Sit up and look at me!” Sean repeated, and Kevin did so, responding automatically to the authoritative tone in Sean’s voice.

  “Ok! What?!” he sulked as Sean peered intently into his eyes.

  “I did not want to tell you, Kevin,” Sean started quietly, “and I’m sure your brothers would not want you to know, but clearly you do not understand how serious this is . . . .” Kevin’s stomach knotted at the solemn tone of Sean’s voice. Sean was one of the most laid back people he knew. Things rarely seemed to get to him. “Your brothers have been suspended from the team,” Sean went on finally and all the color drained from Kevin’s face.

  “What?!” he exclaimed softly. “Why?”

  “Because Coach is worried about your ass!” Sean replied sardonically.

  “For real?” Kevin demanded irritably. “How does Coach know anything about my ass?”

  “Well he’s had his suspicions for years, apparently, about the way discipline is handled in the house. He’s seen his share of bruises I guess and he figured out based on past experience what happened to you. He’s worried you might really be hurt,” Sean scoffed. “He told Danny, Ryan, and Steve that they were done playing football for him until you’re back on the field and he can see that you’re ok.” Kevin sat for a minute, stunned, as he tried to absorb all that Sean was saying. “This Championship means a lot to all of us, Kev,” Sean went on quietly after a minute. “We haven’t gotten there in ten years. Even so, it doesn’t mean as much as you do, certainly not to your brothers or to Coach! This is his big chance, you know, to reclaim some glory for the Bulldogs, but we’re in this position largely because of you . . . and Danny,” he added quietly. “It’s the way you guys work together!” Kevin looked away and bit his lip. “Coach wants this win, Man! He wants it bad! But it doesn’t mean anything if you’re not out there with us! We need you, Kev! We all need you!”

  “It’s just so hard right now, Sean!” Kevin choked. “Going back in that locker room, changing in front of everybody, it will just bring it all back! They’ll all be staring! I know it! Especially Mcarthy! I know Mcarthy’s going to say something!”

  “No he won’t,” Sean replied with certainty, his brow darkening, and finally Kevin looked back at him. “I promise,” Sean whispered. Tears slipped quietly onto Kevin’s cheeks and he brushed at them in frustration as Sean leaned forward and placed a hand on his shoulder. “Mcarthy is not going to fuck with you!” he whispered again. “Danny and Ryan will kill him for sure if he does.” Kevin was chewing his lip hard now in an effort to force the tears back. “You should talk to Danny, Kid,” Sean encouraged. “He knows what you’re going through.”

  “How can he?” Kevin replied, wiping desperately once more at his cheeks. “Everybody keeps saying that, but how can he know?”

  A tiny smile pulled at the corners of Sean’s mouth. “I think he’d tell you that now, Kev’bo, if you asked him, but you’re going to have to talk to him.”

  “I can’t Sean! I’m not ready . . . .”

  “Look, Kev,” Sean cut him off, “what goes on between you and Danny is your business. I am not going to tell you what you should or should not do there, but the team is another story. You’ve got responsibilities, Man! You understand?” Kevin swallowed and nodded as he met Sean’s eyes once more. “I know it’s hard, Bud,” Sean whispered. “Believe me, I know! Just think about it, though, Ok?” Danny’s younger brother nodded again and Sean squeezed his shoulder. He then got up, collected his free weights and placed them back where they belonged. “See you back at the house, Ok?” He turned to Kevin again and his heart wrenched at the expression on the kid’s face. One more time Kevin nodded and Sean turned for the locker room, his gut twisting as he heard Danny’s little brother burst into sobs behind him.

  File Seven

  The Admonishment

  "It takes a long time to bring excellence to maturity.”

  -Publilius Syrus

  “The highest possible stage in moral culture is when we recognize that we ought to control our thoughts.”

  -Charles Darwin

  The week that followed Sean’s talk with Kevin was brutal on all the members of the South Bend University Bulldogs. Everyday, Sean, Ryan, and Jesse looked hopefully for Kevin and everyday, they were disappointed. They had decided it would be best not to tell either Steve or Danny about Sean’s undertaking. Danny would be heartbroken, they knew, if things didn’t work out and Steve, well Steve just had enough other worries on his mind.

  Coach Beckett became more and more irate each day that Kevin’s absence continued. The Championship was breathing down his neck now and none of his stars were playing; Danny, Ryan, and Steve were forced to sit on the bench day after day watching miserably as the coach vented his growing anxiety and rage on their teammates.

  Now, it was the morning of the last big game before the Championship and still there had been no sign of Coach Beckett’s star rookie either in the locker room or in the house. On rare occasions, Kevin’s three brothers or some of their friends glimpsed him a
s he came in or went out, but he kept to himself most of the time, staying in his room, and only admitting James or, occasionally, Alex. Jesse tried to press his little brother for information, but James was maintaining a stubborn silence, and things were starting to look desperate.

  The mood in the locker room as the players drifted in was one of gloom and despair. They had worked hard all year and they were a good team, but their record was not stellar. Now, every game was critical. Each time they played, they faced the possibility of sudden death, and they had come closer to losing last week than any of them liked to think about, even with Danny, Ryan, and Steve in the game. Without any of their stars . . . well some of them felt like the game wasn’t even worth playing. Everyone went quietly about their own activities, nobody spoke, and the silence that hung in the air was oppressive.

  Danny was changed already. He had arrived early, long before anyone else, in the hopes that he could talk to Coach Beckett, and make him change his mind. He had seen the coach, but his plea had fallen on deaf ears. Now, he sat miserably on the bench in front of his locker, replaying the conversation in his mind and devising a new plan of attack.

  Steve and Ryan entered, and exchanged glances as they took in their brother’s hunched shoulders and morose expression. Ryan dropped his bag on the floor and sat on the bench beside him. Steve made his way to his own locker, giving Danny’s shoulder a squeeze as he passed.

  “No luck, I take it, huh?” Ryan questioned softly. He and Steve had known of Danny’s intentions, but had not banked a whole lot on his success and so Ryan was not surprised now when Danny shook his head. “I’m sorry, Bro,” he brought his hand up to his little brother’s shoulder, but Danny didn’t respond, and Ryan didn’t know what else to say.

  It must be said now that in the midst of the generally downcast locker room, there were those who were having at least a little fun. Gregg Mcarthy was as worried about the game as anyone; this was his moment to shine. It was late in the year, however, and for that matter a little too late in his career to hope that one game might make a difference for him come Draft time. Consequently, the majority of his pleasure now came, not so much from his own opportunity, but from the knowledge that he was stealing Danny’s spotlight.

  Nonchalantly, he propped his foot on the bench between the two brothers. “The kid’s really coming through for you, huh, Danny?” he sneered as he pulled up his sock and tied his shoe. Danny ignored him, but Ryan shoved his foot roughly off the bench before bending to unzip his bag. Gregg, however, was not about to let this go yet. He placed his other foot on the bench and pretended he was adjusting his sock as Ryan turned to glare at him. “All those hours you spent with him,” Gregg continued tauntingly, “all the guidance, all the advice, all the chances you gave him . . . they’re really paying off aren’t they?”

  Danny pressed his hand to his head, and Ryan shoved Gregg’s leg harder this time causing him to stumble back as he lost his balance. “Get the fuck out of here, Mcarthy!” Danny’s big brother fumed. He was not in the best mood himself. Changing into a uniform that would never see the first bit of grass or dirt today was a depressing prospect, and it was killing him to look at his younger brother. Every bit of the fire and passion that made Danny who he was, was gone, and Ryan felt helpless. This was something he could do; if he couldn’t get Danny back on the field, he could at least get Mcarthy off his back.

  “You got something to bring?” Gregg leered as Ryan got to his feet. “Come on then, bring it!” he challenged.

  “You think I won’t?” Ryan snapped.

  “I’d be surprised if you had the guts,” Gregg baited.

  Steve came out of nowhere in a half state of dress. He was just in time to intercept Ryan. Firmly, he pushed his little brother back as Gregg and his friends snickered. Jesse and Sean watched the scene from across the locker room, their hearts in their mouths. It was only when they saw that Steve really had the situation under control that they began to breathe again. “Calm down,” Steve commanded his brother firmly.

  “But Steve . . .,” Ryan protested.

  “Let it go!” Steve repeated in his most authoritative voice, and Ryan pursed his lips.

  “It’s not fair,” he complained.

  “I’ll handle it,” Steve assured him quietly. “But first you have to calm down, all right?” Ryan glared unhappily in Gregg’s direction. “I mean it, Ry,” Steve cautioned. “Let me handle it.” Finally, Steve saw Ryan’s jaw line relax and felt the tension in his body begin to dissipate. “It’s all right,” he soothed as Ryan sought his eyes. “You ok?” Finally, Ryan nodded, hanging his head, and Steve squeezed his shoulder.

  “Well, well, well, big brother to the rescue . . . ,” Gregg started, but Steve was done playing now and Gregg yipped loudly as the fraternity president whirled around and grabbed him forcefully by the arm, twisting it back and forcing Gregg to bend.

  “I’ve had it Mcarthy!” he admonished sharply. “This is where it stops! I told you two weeks ago not to push me, and I meant it!” He lowered his voice and bent down to peer into Gregg’s agonized face. “I will hold my brothers accountable once and only once for their behavior,” he warned in Gregg’s ear. “If you continue to bait them, the next incident is on you. Do you understand?”

  “Oww!” Gregg whimpered. Steve tightened his grip and Gregg grimaced. “Ok!” he croaked. “Oww! Let me go!” Finally, Steve did. Gregg stood up and glared at him, rubbing his arm. Steve just raised his eyebrows, waiting until Gregg had retreated to the other end of the locker room before turning back to Ryan.

  Ryan evaded his eyes and Steve’s brows furrowed as he gazed at his little brother. He was already dreading the thought of the summons he knew he had no choice but to issue for both Danny and Ryan, and Ryan was digging himself deeper by the moment. His stomach tightened and he cringed as he thought of the conversation he knew he would now have to have with Matt. Ryan’s continued rashness and disobedience was not something that Steve wanted to discuss any further with his own big brother (Matt was not likely to view this latest incidence of insubordination with a sympathetic eye). Given the circumstances, however, his little brother’s tendency to react was a real problem, and Steve knew he needed his older brother’s advice, even if it was advice he didn’t want to hear.

  “Sorry,” Ryan muttered. His face flushed and he hung his head again as Steve continued to look at him.

  Steve sighed. “You’re going to be president next year, Ry,” he scolded softly. “You can’t let things get to you that way. Mcarthy will be gone, but most of his followers will still be here, and Atchinson is just as bad (Kyle Atchinson was Gregg Mcarthy’s little brother). There will always be at least one, Bud,” Steve cautioned. Finally, Ryan met his eyes. “Don’t let them get to you, ok?” Ryan nodded, and Steve swatted him lightly on his boxer clad butt as he returned to his own locker. “Watch yourself, Kid,” he warned.

  File Eight

  The Reprieve

  "The arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends toward justice."

  - Martin Luther King JR.

  Soberly, Steve and Ryan continued changing and at last the rest of the team members found their way to the locker room. The drama that had taken place between Gregg and Ryan only deepened the silence. The atmosphere now was nearly unbearable for all of them.

  Fifteen minutes later, the door at the end of the hall that led to the coach’s office shut hard and everyone looked up expectantly. Coach Beckett was ready to address the team. A rash of whispering broke out as he appeared, spreading quickly and breaking the stifling silence, but it was not Coach they were all looking at; Kevin Kramer stood behind him. He was not in uniform, but he carried his bag on his shoulder.

  Ryan nudged Danny and his little brother looked up. He followed Ryan’s gaze and got to his feet, hopefully. Kevin looked his way and for the first time in over two weeks, the two brothers made full eye contact. Silence descended once more as everyone waited to see what would happe
n. Kevin’s cheeks burned, and he shifted uneasily under all the attention.

  “It’s good to have you back, Kid,” Danny ventured softly, trying to ease the way. The silence only deepened, and his stomach clenched. “You going to play?” he managed finally.

  Kevin bit hard on his lip, his eyes never leaving those of his older brother. Finally, he nodded and the locker room erupted. The coach placed his hand on Kevin’s shoulder. “Suit up, Kramer,” he commanded.

  “Yes, Sir,” Kevin responded, and tearing his eyes away from Danny’s, he turned to do as the coach had directed.

  Coach Beckett was doing his best to maintain his stoic, businesslike demeanor amidst the now otherwise jubilant locker room, but even he

  couldn’t help grinning as he looked now at the expectant faces of Kevin’s three brothers. “All right, you three,” he addressed them gruffly, “go on out and warm up with the team. You will be starting.”