The Bodyguard's Weakness: An Accidental Marriage Mafia Romance (Scaliami Crime Syndicate)

by Jagger Cole

I frown. “No… fuck.” I can’t think, let alone talk.

  Lucia sighs. “Well? Do you or don’t you want a mimosa, Dom?”

  I stare at her. “Don’t,” I groan. “Very, very much don’t.”

  “Bring two, please.”

  I turn to Pam. “Just coffee.”

  “Coming right up, Mr. Stoker!”

  She walks away. I see Lucia raise a brow behind her shades. “Mr. Stoker?”

  “As in Bram Stoker.”

  “Dracula?”

  “It’s because I asked for the darkest table they have.”

  Lucia giggles. I want to say it grates on my aching head. But it actually makes me feel better somehow. Pam waltzes back over with a black coffee and two mimosas. She sets them down, rattles off some specials I don’t at all hear, and walks away. I stare at Lucia when she takes a sip of her mimosa.

  “What the hell are you thinking?”

  She yanks her shades off and glares at me. “What am I thinking?” She snaps. “I’m thinking that my head is fucking killing me and that I feel like utter shit. Oh, and I’m wearing this charming piece of fucking bling!” she spits. She holds her hand up. The ring flashes gaudily even in the darkest part of the restaurant.

  “Then take it off,” I grumble.

  Lucia scowls at me and purses her lips.

  “What?”

  “I can’t.”

  I roll my eyes “I won’t be offended,” I grunt. “Just take it fucking off.”

  “No, Dominic,” she snaps. “I mean I literally can’t. It’s like a size too small or something.”

  I feel a cold sweat come over me. I realize my own ring is actually still on for some insane reason too. I reach down to pull it off. But it doesn’t budge. Fucking hell. I tug harder, but it’s pretty obvious it’s not moving.

  “I won’t be offended,” Lucia whines in a deep, growly, sarcastic sounding voice. “Just take it fucking off.”

  “Very fucking funny,” I mutter. I watch her take another sip of her mimosa. “You’re seriously drinking?”

  “Hair of the dog,” she grumbles. “It helps with the hangover to have a little drink.”

  “After last night, you’re seriously having a drink.”

  “Well, Dom,” she snaps. “It’s not like we can go out and accidentally get married a second time now, can we?” She smiles thinly. “Are you having one or not?”

  “Not.”

  “Suit yourself.” She knocks back the rest of her drink and reaches for the second.

  “Slow it down, Lucia,” I growl.

  “Yes, daddy,” she quips back.

  I groan inside. Instantly, my cock thickens when she says it. My teeth grind. I don’t know how it started. But when BabyBella99 and I are getting really into it on our texting, she’ll call me that. And fuck me, it gets me harder than anything.

  Lucia reaches for the second mimosa. But I stop her and grab it myself.

  “It really does take the edge off the hangover,” she shrugs. “I’m not a lush. It’s not like I’m dying to drink more right now. But it’ll help, I promise.”

  I glare at her. Then the stupid mimosa. “Fuck it,” I grunt. I take a few big sips and sink back into the booth. I can feel the booze hitting my system. And I’m not gonna lie, it does actually take a small edge off of things.

  “Well, well, have we… oh my!” Pam beams at us. Her eyes are on our rings. “I didn’t realize you were Mr. and Mrs!”

  “We’re not,” I grunt.

  Lucia laughs. “Such a kidder, my hubby here.”

  I glare at her. She smirks back at me.

  “Well, Mr. and Mrs. Prince of the Night….”

  I roll my eyes. I hope Pam has a hobby besides amateur comedy.

  “Have we decided on anything from the menu?”

  “Yeah,” Lucia says. “We’ll take two more mimosa.”

  I wince. “No, we won’t. Jesus, Lucia.”

  She sighs and rolls her eyes. “It’s orange juice and tiny bit of bubbly Dom. Don’t be such a girl.” She turns to beam at Pam. “Two more, please.” When Pam walks away, Lucia turns back to see me glaring at her.

  “What?”

  “You like being the brat, don’t you?”

  “I don’t like anything about this situation, actually,” she snaps.

  I reach up to rub my temples. “Okay, look. We have the day to figure this out. Our flight back to New York is at five. We can fix this.”

  “Annul it, you mean.”

  “Obviously, yes.”

  She purses her lips. “Fine. Good.”

  “Great, we agree.”

  “Obviously,” she snaps.

  I roll my eyes. “Try not to be too heartbroken.”

  She laughs coldly. “I’ll try not to cry too hard, dickhead. Besides,” she shrugs. “Just so you know, there’s someone else anyways.”

  Pam comes back with our drinks and leaves again. I frown.

  Something churns inside of me. I don’t know why Lucia saying that there’s someone else gets me angry. Especially since it’s the same with me. Sort of. I don’t know what BabyBella99 and I are besides internet friends who send dirty messages to each other. But I know not talking to her for three days now has me feeling antsy and pissed off. It still doesn’t explain the anger at hearing that Lucia has someone.

  “Same here,” I growl.

  Lucia laughs. “I’m sure.”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  “It means sure, okay.”

  I shake my head and say nothing. I drink my mimosa. Lucia meanwhile gets a big scowl on her face and hunches her shoulders.

  “Hey, I’m Dominic,” she grunts in a gorilla sounding voice. “Grr grr, do what I say, ghuugh.”

  I look at her dryly. “That’s me, huh?”

  “That’s a generous you.”

  I smirk. I should scowl or tell her to get bent. But somehow it makes me grin. Even with the freight train of a hangover roaring through my head.

  We both finish our mimosas. And I gotta say, I’m genuinely feeling a lot better than I did when I woke up.

  “One more?”

  She laughs. “Oh really?”

  “With some breakfast attached to it too, maybe. But yeah.”

  She grins and eyes me coyly. “You know what?” She shrugs. “Fine. Game on.”

  I grin.

  “And then,” she taps her ring with a finger. “Then we’re taking care of this.”

  “Amen to that.”

  6

  Lucia

  Somehow, against every single ounce of better judgment, I’m drunk again. Worse, I’m drunk again with Dominic…

  I frown. It hits me that I don’t actually know his last name. The thought that I’m married to this man without knowing his last name makes me giggle, loudly. Dominic turns to me as we shuffle down the Vegas Strip.

  “What?” he grunts. But it’s a grinning grunt. I grin back. I like his smile. I like the way it makes me feel warm inside. I like the way he’s egged me on all day. We’ve been walking around Vegas hitting up every “Vegas Wedding Chapel” in town. We’re trying to find the one that married us, but it’s not looking good.

  I’d assume that would mean Mr. Grumps would be even grumpier. But he’s been the more optimistic of the two of us. I like that he’s kept me smiling. I like that he’s gone drink for drink with me all afternoon. And I very much like his arm around my waist right now.

  “Nothing, just…”

  “Just what?”

  I almost tell him the thing about not knowing his last name. But I hide it away. We can’t laugh about this. This isn’t real. And this could blow up in both of our faces, hard. I know Dom thinks the fallout would hit him and not me. It might hit him harder, that much is true. If my grandfather were to find out about what happened here in Vegas?

  Well, I don’t know what would happen. But it wouldn’t be good. It might actually be fatal; I think with a shiver. But it’s not like I’d be off Scott free. I know my gran
dfather has plans to marry me into another crime family. And I know perfectly well that already being married would destroy those plans. I might be his favorite, but I’d still be in a world of trouble.

  “I was thinking that this is funny.”

  He scowls. “Exactly how is this funny?”

  I roll my eyes. “Because the whole reason I’m traveling right now has to do with marriage.”

  “What?”

  I shrug. “I’m, uh…betrothed.”

  Dominic snorts loudly. “You’re what?”

  “It means—”

  “No, I know what it means. I just didn’t think people did that anymore.”

  “Well, welcome to my world.”

  He frowns. “That’s fucked up. Sorry.”

  “Well, I should thank you.”

  “For?”

  I grin and hold my hand up. “It’s a little hard to get forced into a marriage when you’re already married?”

  He grunts. “Fair enough. So who’s the victim?”

  “Hilarious. You and Pam should start a comedy tour.” He snickers when I elbow him in the ribs. “His name is Tomas.”

  “Tomas,” Dominic repeats. But he adds a sarcastic flourish. I try and hide it, but it makes me grin. “Well, Tomas sound very fancy.”

  “His dad is Giovani Medino.”

  Dominic stops cold in his tracks. I stop a step later and look back. “So, you know him I take it?”

  “The head of the second largest player in the game? Yeah, I think I’ve heard his name come up once or twice,” Dominic groans. “Tomas Medino. You’re supposed to marry Tomas fucking Mendino.”

  “Not anymore,” I wink. “Thanks to you.”

  “I’m a fucking dead man.” He grits his teeth. He grabs my arm and starts hurrying me along down the street. “We need to find this place. Now.”

  I let him pull me. But I sigh loudly. “This is pointless. We’re never going to—”

  “This one,” he grunts. He stops us in our tracks. I look up at the gaudy, ridiculous looking building next to a pawn shop. It’s made to look like a southern Baptist church, steeple and everything. But miniature in size. I glance at Dominic.

  “What?”

  “This is the place. I remember that sign.”

  I look up. The big neon billboard sign above the “church” has an image of Elvis and a craps table next to two huge, gleaming wedding rings. You’d think this would make it stand out. It doesn’t.

  “This looks like five other freaking places we’ve been to today,” I groan.

  “Let’s just check it out.”

  I frown and shake my head. I close my eyes tightly. “No, Dominic, I’m done. Fuck this. We’ll just never speak of any of this again, okay?”

  He frowns. “We’d still be legally married.”

  “We don’t know that.”

  He sighs. “Lucia, I don’t think we’d have the rings and not actually be—”

  “Oh, my God! It’s them!”

  We both look up sharply. There in the doorway to the strip mall church is an older woman and a man with a big silver Yosemite Sam mustache. They’re both beaming at us with huge smiles and open arms.

  “It’s the newlyweds!” she squeals

  “Think we found our spot,” Dom grunts.

  “So?” She’s smiling at me so hard it feels like her face might split in two. “How are we feeling?!”

  “Uh, married?”

  Teri, as she’s reminded us, laughs. “And how’s the head, darlin?” She giggles and wags a finger. “You two were pretty loosened up last night!” Her husband, Jimmy, chuckles along with her. We’re sitting in their “chapel office” next to the gift shop that sells Vegas themed bongs and figurines of Elvis with an inflatable dick.

  This is where I got fucking married.

  Dom frowns. “Yeah, about that. Did we… I mean we’re, you know, legally speaking…”

  Jimmy grins and reaches into the drawer of his desk. “Yep! Got the contract right here, partner. And Teri and I are both notaries.

  “Wonderful,” I say thinly. “That’s just wonderful.”

  Teri beams at me. “It’s such a special thing, ain’t it?”

  Dominic clears his throat. “Jimmy, this can’t really be binding though, can it?”

  Jimmy chuckles. “Of course it is, son!”

  “Even if we were drunk off our asses?”

  Teri laughs. “Well, we like to double check, of course.” She smiles. “I mean this is Las Vegas and all. And sometimes that Vegas Spirit can make people think a little rashly!”

  Yeah, Vegas Spirit, I think to myself. That’s a nice way of saying blackout wasted.

  “But you didn’t check with us?”

  Teri hoots. “Oh we sure did! You two were pretty liquored up last night!” She and Jimmy glance at each other and smile. “We did because of the alcohol. But you two looked so perfect!” Teri sighs. “So in love!”

  I groan.

  “How so?”

  My eyes dart to Dominic when he asks the question.

  “Oh, well you two love birds couldn’t keep your hands off each other!” Jimmy chuckles. “Kissin, all handsy.”

  “But it was so sweet,” Teri chimes in. “The way you got on your knees and swore forever to her? The way you carried her out of here?”

  Dom groans and puts his head in his hands. I blush.

  “So, um, how do you make sure?” I venture.

  “Well, one contract could be torn up if y’all are both drunk,” Jimmy says. “Two though? Now that’s when people say they’re sure.”

  Dominic frowns. “We signed that one too, didn’t we?”

  “Sure did!” Jimmy hoots. He reaches back into the drawer and pulls out another legal document. Sure enough, our signatures are on both of them. They’re wobbly and scrawled looking, but it’s definitely my signature.

  Dominic sighs slowly. “Jimmy, Teri, I need you to cancel these.”

  The two of them glance at each other. “Oh, now, son, I’m afraid…”

  “I need you to,” Dominic growls.

  Teri smiles warmly. “Oh now, second day jitters are normal!”

  “You’re not hearing me,” Dominic growls. He reaches into his jacket pocket and then slams down a thick stack of cash. Teri and Jimmy glance at each other again with a worried look. Jimmy turns to smile weakly at Dom.

  “Afraid that doesn’t change anything, son. Listen, give it a week…”

  “In a week, I’ll be fucking dead,” Dom growls. “Annul it. Now.”

  “Well gee, honey,” I sigh. “Be all romantic about it.”

  “Stop it,” he mutters. He turns back to Jimmy. “Annul it. Now.”

  “Son, I’m afraid…”

  Dominic slaps down another stack of cash. Jimmy frowns.

  “Now, son…”

  Dominic’s hand slips into his jacket again. But this time, when his hand comes back out, I gasp. This time, there’s a freaking gun in his hand.

  “Jimmy, I’m asking nicely.”

  There’s a very loud “ker-chang” sound behind us. I whirl, and my heart jumps.

  “Whoa!”

  Behind us, Teri has a shotgun pointed right at Dominic. She doesn’t look very warm and cheery anymore.

  “You’re in the wild west, son,” she says. She smiles a non-smile smile. “Best not pull that piece unless you’re lookin’ to get shot.”

  “Or do the shooting,” Dominic growls.

  “Dom!” I hiss.

  “Put it away,” Teri mutters. “Right now, young man.”

  We hear another clicking sound. When we both turn back to Jimmy, he’s got a huge looking revolver pointed at Dominic.

  “My wife’s a real mean shot, son,” he says quietly. “So why don’t we put that gun away, okay?”

  Dominic nods. “Yeah,” he grunts.

  “Yeah what?” Teri says with a whole bunch of sugar in her voice.

  “Yes, ma’am,” Dom mutters. He safeties the gun and sets it down on t
he desk, handle towards Jimmy.

  “That was sweet,” I whisper.

  “Shut up.”

  “Now then,” Jimmy smiles. “We all done with the tough guy routine?”

  “Yes, sir,” Dominic grunts.

  Jimmy smiles widely. Teri puts the shotgun down and moves back around next to her husband, all smiles again.

  “Well good!” Jimmy chuckles like Dom didn’t just pull a gun on him. “Good! Listen, at the end of the day, Teri and me? We’re in the love business! And love takes some work sometimes! I know, the jitters are real, son. I get what’s going through your head!”

  “I sincerely doubt that,” Dominic mutters.

  Jimmy laughs. “Oh, I think I do!”

  “Believe me, you don’t.” His jaw clenches and he turns to me. “I’m dead. It’s over.”

  I smile and then do my most exaggerated sympathetic face. “Oh no, honey! I’ll still let you have boys’ night out!”

  Dominic glares at me and slowly shakes his head. Jimmy beams. “See! It’s all about the compromise, son!”

  Dom groans and turns back to him. “I can double that money right there.” He nods at the two stacks of bills on the desk.

  “Now, son…”

  “Triple it.”

  Teri glances at her husband. But Jimmy furrows his brow. “Listen, boy…”

  “Four times,” Dominic hisses. “I’ll give you four goddamn times what’s right there. That’s eighty fucking thousand dollars.”

  My brows perk up. Jimmy and Teri glance at each with shocked expressions. They don’t say a thing, but it’s like they’re talking it out right in front of us. Finally, Jimmy turns back.

  “One week,” he says with a deep sigh. “I hate to even say it. Or to humor this. But in a week, if y’all aren’t happy…”

  “Both of y’all…” Teri adds, looking meaningful at each of us. She smiles at me. I smile back.

  “Then we’ll take it back,” Jimmy finishes.

  “For four times this,” Dominic mutters.

  The older man smiles and spreads his arms. “Well, yes.”

  Dominic rolls his eyes. “So much for being in the love business, huh?”

  “The second word is the one you’ll want to concentrate on right now,” Teri smiles.

  Dominic looks around. Then he turns to me. I shrug. “It’s just eighty thousand dollars.”