Chapter Seven
Absent-mindedly, my feet carried me to the only cool and quiet spot in the mansion that night, which was the empty space in front of the kitchen. There I paced as my thoughts consumed me. Shortly after, someone came up to me. I did not have to turn to know it was Tom.
“I can’t stand mistresses,” I told her my most recent thought.
“What will you do?”
“Poison the witch in red, of course.” I turned in time to see shock register on Tom’s face.
“Madam!”
“What can I do? Poison solves everything,” I said.
“Have you ever poisoned anyone before?”
“I hardly know a thing about it. You are knowledgeable in the kitchen, there should be a poison at hand.” I was hastily making my way to the kitchen when an echo of footsteps brought me to a halt.
“Poison her and he will only get someone younger,” a calm voice said.
Tom and I both gasped. It was Jack. He must have been in the shadows all along. He had seen me pace mindlessly and then he had heard every word of our conversation. I worried what he would think of me. I had not been serious about the poison but I hadn’t been joking either, the thought of the mistress Jane having diarrhea was a pleasant one to me. Jack read my thoughts.
“If you want a man to leave his mistress, change his mind. Remind him of all the things he cherished in his wife. If he is a fair man, he will come to his senses.”
In a stern voice, I asked, “Jack. What are you doing here?”
“You promised me shelter,” he said.
“I did, and I offered it to you.”
I continued into the kitchen. There were a few other servants working there but I paid no heed to them. I moved to the kitchen table. It was covered with all forms of ingredients but what stood out was the cheese, the soggy cheese from my misadventure.
With my hands, I separated a ration of cheese and put them aside. Digging into my bosom I produced some change, then collecting the cheese as well I placed them into Jack’s hands.
“For taking care of my horses,” I said. “This should be enough to keep you dry for a week at least.”
Jack shook his head. He put the money back into my hands though still held onto the cheese.
“Do you refuse the money because it comes from my breasts?” I asked.
“That is in fact the only reason I would keep it. I refuse it because I did not care for your horses in order to get paid.”
“Then take an extra portion of cheese!” I placed extra rations into his hands. “Where is Dennis?”
“Probably out getting drunk with his lads,” Tom said.
“Like a true gardener!” I turned on my heel, ready to go. Tom rushed after me while Jack lingered as though dumbfounded by the bout of cheese in his arms.
“My Lady. Madam Lauren. He was sent away,” she said to me.
“What?”
“Dumbdilock’s said there is no room for him at the inn.”
“No room? Since when has that Dumbdilock’s turned down a copper? She would build a room if she had to, if only for another dime!”
Tom lowered her voice. “When she heard the room payment was courtesy of you, she said your house was full of rooms and a man would do well managing them. That’s what she told him. He told me.”
I stopped walking. “Whatever happened to the old woman Leads. Why is Dumbdilock’s running the place?”
“Did you not hear? The grandmother got an infection in the knee, so she trusted Kate to all affairs of the inn.”
I cursed under my breath. “Have a carriage readied for me. Someone has to put that wretched woman in her place.”
At that point, Jack joined us. He had found a bag to pack his share of cheese. The way he looked at me made me most uncomfortable. It was as though he could see through my façade. Certainly, it was as if he knew I was scared that having him around would cause me to let down my guard. I did not want to trust Jack, I hardly knew him, yet in my heart I had found a soft spot for him. Perhaps I was not totally immune to good looks. I sighed inwardly.
“And Lord Ballam?” Tom asked when she saw I was ready to leave immediately.
“I have no patience to entertain pigs.” She knew what I meant.
“Alright. I will see to it that he is well accommodated.”
As she was leaving, Jack spoke up. “Be careful, Tom.”
“Thank you, Jack. Fare well.”
“Goodnight.”
Tom hurried away and I watched Jack smile at her receding figure. A pang of jealousy stabbed my heart but I quickly blinked it away. What affairs did Jack have with Tom? I batted my eyelids. Tom was my only inner circle and I wanted Jack nowhere near her. I figured she must have had plenty of time to speak with him, perhaps even like him. My face flushed.
Jack gave me a kind smile. I hated it. I feared he understood my thoughts. What then? What if he did? Then I would appear like a foolish woman. My thoughts were off their hinges when a loud noise brought me to their senses. A male musician, clad in an odd suit, was leaving the ballroom and had clambered under the weight of his multiple instruments. I walked to him.
“You! Where are you going?”
“Guests are saying there is discourse in my music,” he said, breathless.
“How do you mean?” I asked.
“Whenever I play my instruments, there is interference. There seems to be some low tuned piano music streaming from nowhere and everywhere.”
“You cannot drown the awful noise?”
“It is actually a very beautiful sound. Perhaps it is being carried by the wind.”
Jack stepped in. He said, “This is the only dwelling by far. Certainly, you must be mistaken.”
I took a bold stance against the musician. “This is the first time you are playing at one of my parties, isn’t it?” He nodded. “If your music cannot compete with ghosts, what right have you to any pay? Do you dare disappoint the best crowd in all of Oxford?”
“No, my Lady,” he said humbly.
“Then go back in there and entertain my guests!”
The poor man shook like a leaf as he made his way back into the ball room. Tom caught him on his way in. She said to him, “Play all night if you must! She will pay you fairly. She always does.” Then to me, she shouted, “Your carriage awaits.” Tom disappeared behind the doors to the ballroom.
“Actually, I think--” Jack started.
“I did not ask for your opinion.”
“Very well.”
Jack studied me. He seemed to know something was amiss. I turned away from him. Tonight, I was getting rid of him and any angst he brought upon me. I had to get rid of him before my feelings overwhelmed me.
Chapter Eight
The cold chill that wrapped itself around me when I stepped outside, promised rain. I gave an involuntary shudder. Jack, who stepped out a moment after me, noticed.
“Why are you so eager to get rid of me?” he asked in a quiet voice.
“Rid of you, no. Why would I want that?” I could hardly stare him in the eye.
“A man asks you for a job and you do everything in your power to turn him away?”
“I will not have strangers loitering about my home.”
“I have dined in your house. I am hardly a stranger. If you spared me a moment to speak with you, you will know that I am a simple soldier from London who has had the worst of fate. Now I stand before you, without a home, without any clothes on my back, and without rank. Are you so hard hearted you will turn away a poor man who is willing to work for his bread?”
I inhaled deeply. If only Jack could understand. If only he could understand why I did not want him anywhere near my dwelling but, alas, he could not.
“Why here?”
He said, “Give me three days. Give me three days to prove my worth to you.”
“You are twisting my hand,” I said.
“Oh. But I hardly touched you.”
It took me a moment to get his jok
e and when I did, I couldn’t help but cackle. I hated that he had a charm on me. When he started to smile at me, I swiftly put on a straight face. No, I could not allow any warm moments between Jack and I. Warmth bred familiarity and familiarity, well, familiarity bred contempt.
Jack was about to say something funny when the door opened. Out came Ballam, who was very tipsy and had Jane by his side. I gnashed my teeth. If it wasn’t for my need to keep an air of grace, I would have lashed out at the duo. Instead, I gave them a genial smile.
“My Lord, are you leaving already?” I asked.
Jane scowled as Lord Ballam disentangled himself from her and took my arms into his.
“Fairest party, my love. Fairest I have ever been to. All of Oxford, hell, all of London will hear about it.”
“I am glad.” I chose my next words carefully. “And your dear lovely Belinda, does she feel the same?”
Lord Ballam started, as though he’d just been awakened with a slap of cold water. He looked around and stuttered.
“I fear we should go back in and fetch her. It would do great disservice to your wonderful name if rumors started to spread…”
“Rumors?” He asked.
Jack studied me curiously as I led Lord Ballam back into the house. Jane, on the other hand, rolled her eyes and followed us back in with the pout of a spoilt child.
“Have you not heard?” I continued. “Our Lady Belinda is a fine madam. Many men speak adoration for her. Imagine what opportunity they would get if you left her alone at the party, vulnerable to the charms of all those men.”
“Nonsense. She’s an old hag, who could possibly want her?”
I laughed heartily to mask my contempt. “That is drunken talk my Lord, taking that you are a fair age older than her. If she is an old hag that would make you much worse.”
Lord Ballam paused a little once we got outside the ball room. He studied my features. In his drunken state he could hardly differentiate whether I was joking or not. The smile on my face told him I was. The sentries opened the door and the loud music flooded us. His eyes searched inside and fortunately, in that very instant, found Belinda talking to a fairly dressed young man. I sensed jealousy in Lord Ballam and so gave him a nudge.
“Go in there and ask your wife to dance. Reminisce of the time when you were both young, in love, and of one accord. After all, no one will ever understand you more than she.”
Lord Ballam hurried from me to Belinda as though he were about to lose his prized possession. Jane was about to hurry after him when I held fast her hand.
“You will leave immediately,” I told her.
“I am here with Lo…”
“And I do not remember sending out an invitation for you. Leave at once or else.” I gave her a warning finger. She stuck her nose up in the air.
“Or else what?”
“The next drink you consume will be filled to the brim with poison, and then, while you belch and soil yourself, I will have my guards throw you out into the streets! That’s what else!”
Jane gasped in horror. Her feet quickly carried her out of my house, as she certainly cursed me under her breath.
I grinned with thorough content. Someone clapped and I turned swiftly. I hadn’t realized Jack had followed us back in. I let down my guard and smiled at him.
“That was beautiful.” He said and continued clapping.
To thwart any attention his elation may bring, I caught his hands and immediately, the warmth of his body ripped through mine like an electric current. I broke my grip from his. He grabbed my hands again and for a moment, I held my breath. I hadn’t realized how much I craved to be with a man.
“Dance with me, Lauren.”
“I…I can’t. The horses have to be been fed.” I snatched my hands and hugged myself. The horses had been already fed, of course. I was just scared. Jack scratched his ear, hesitant.
“Okay. I will see to the horses.”
“Thank you.”
With calculated steps, I entered the ballroom. When I was sure he was going, I turned to watch his retreating figure. I rubbed my hands together. What a mistake. Why was he still here? What a mistake. My feet inadvertently carried me after him.
By the time I caught up with him, he was near the stable. I snuck up to him, grabbed his arm, and then backed him up against the wall. He was defensive but when he saw it was me, joy washed over his features.
Jack grabbed my waist and I held his strong neck. Pressing my limp body against his, I tilted my head and kissed him fully on the lips. They were the most delicious lips I had ever tasted. He tasted like strawberries. I loved strawberries. I loved it even more when he lifted me with one hand so he could consume my lips with great ferociousness.
My passion was reaching a height of no-return when suddenly I felt his free hand caress my breast. My defense walls kicked me in the curb. Like I had touched a flame, I recoiled from him. He shouldn’t have touched me like that. He shouldn’t have touched me the way Duke had. No. I shouldn’t have led him on. What a foolish girl, I thought of myself.
“Lauren?” Jack was puzzled.
“I am sorry. I shouldn’t trust myself around you at such a late hour. ”
“Do you fancy me?”
“God. NO!”
I ran away to avoid further confrontation. Round a bend of the mansion, I stopped running because he wasn’t pursuing. I broke into laughter. I felt silly. I could only imagine how confused he was. Nonsense. It must have been my wrecked hormones that had led me to do such an imprudent act. Poor Jack.
I was still giggling to myself when I entered the house and bumped into Tom.
“Is he gone then?” she asked.
“Who, Jack? The lad begged me to stay. He’s in the stable as we speak.”
“He is not a lad.”
“Whatever.” I stifled my laughter. If I had still been with Jack, Tom would have walked in on us. That thought terrified me. She personally knew Duke. She had served under him. I sighed. Tom misinterpreted me.
“I really think Jack is no harm.”
“Have you seen his eyes? Never trust a man with such mesmerizing eyes.”
“He’s just without a home.”
“Could be a murderer.” I laughed again. I felt so nervous. Tom shook her head and retreated to continue about her business. I called after her, “Fine. Give him a room as far away as possible from that god-awful piano music.”
“He could stay with Dennis and the other maidservants in the quarters. The music never reaches there.”
“No. He deserves a fine bed. I didn’t want to admit it before, but I do owe him my life.”
“He told me.”
“He did?”
I was surprised that Jack had confided in her at all. Tom smiled at me then went away. I sighed once more. I had done many foolish things that night.
Chapter Nine
Kate Leads, that awful Dumbdilock’s, knew how to hit me where it hurt. Perhaps she had a personal vendetta against me due to the knowledge that had I accepted her husband’s marital offer, she would not have been as successful as she was. She should have thanked me really for turning down the fat baker’s offer. If I hadn’t, she would have been just another commoner’s wife.
“Mrs. Dumbdilock’s is here with fresh bread,” Sleepy Tom told me the morning after the party.
“What, has the yeast gone extinct already? I am not paying her more for her loaves.”
“The price is the same, for now.” Tom yawned and while she walked away, told me, “She said she wants to deliver the best batch to you in person. Said it was warm, fresh…” She yawned again and disappeared from the living room.
I smacked the watering can next to my window side flowers and groaned.
“It’s too early for this,” I muttered as I took myself to the door.
When I got to the door, I sucked in the cool morning air but not because it was fresh. At my door step stood Mrs. Dumbdilock’s and with her, her eleven year old son and six year old
daughter. They were holding up loaves of bread for me. I took one step back. Kate noticed my consternation. She had planned for it after all.
“Good morning, Lady Lauren.”
“Kate.”
“Good morning Lady Lauren,” her children chorused beautifully.
I could have cried at how adorable they were, instead I wanted to shove them away because of their awful mother. I’d always wanted children and it showed in my eyes. Dumbdilock’s had intended to taunt me by bringing hers. I stared blankly.
“The children are greeting you, Lauren,” she said.
“Uh, hello.” I was shaking.
“We brought you bread,” they said together.
I blinked. Had they practiced their lines? Why would such an awful person as Kate be a mother and not me? Right. It required a husband to have children.
“My little ones and I like to work together. It is the joy of being a woman, you know. Teaching them, listening to their little laughs…”
I zoned out of the conversation. I could not bear to hear her brag about children. Without thinking, I snatched the bread from the children and their mother. Dumbdilock’s was still talking when I cut into her speech.
“Have a lovely morning. Kate. Children,” I said and shut the door in their faces.
“I’m sorry,” a voice said. I jumped, startled. It was only Tom.
“It’s not your doing, love. Take this bread to the kitchen, please.”
I stiffly made my way into the living room and the floor boards echoed as I walked over the trapdoor. This made my blood curdle. I couldn’t live like this anymore.
On impulse, I left the house. I badly needed air. At 4.30 in the morning, I did not expect to run into anyone and I did not. I went out to the stable, released Spark and rode him out to the plains. The horse was well taken care of and that I owed to Jack, but I removed the kind soldier from my mind. I just wanted to be free. The thought of running away took over my mind.
I returned to the mansion later that morning. Of course, I did not run away. The mansion was my castle and though it haunted me, I felt safe there. Besides, I had nowhere else to go. And if I went elsewhere, what would Spark eat? What would I eat? The logistics simply did not support my idea of running away.
Secrets of the Prairie Page 4