I was coming out of the stable after hooking Spark when I walked into Jack. He beamed at me. His face grew radiant at the sight of me. I wasn’t too glad to see him. I did want to kiss him but my defenses had doubled since the prior night. I wasn’t going to do anything foolish.
“Lauren.”
Jack walked to me and removed a stray hair from my face. I moved out of his reach. He followed me with a quizzical look.
“Good morning to you, Jack.”
As I passed him, I noticed that he had plucked a fresh bunch of flowers. He had hidden them from my view to surprise me. I grimaced. My defensive nature had decided that I had no business loving strangers when I had enough baggage of my own to deal with.
It was stupid of me to have kissed him at night yet I was glad I had done it when I did. My mind would have tormented me if they hadn’t tasted those strawberry lips.
Jack was utterly confused, I could tell, and I did feel sorry for him. He would just have to deal with it. And he did.
In the hours, days, and weeks that followed, I avoided Jack and he did not go out of his way to see me. I relayed all my orders through Dennis and Tom. In fact, with time, Tom and Jack became quite familiar with each other. I did not know the nature of their relationship as I avoided Jack at all costs and when I asked Tom, she would not tell me. Dennis was clueless, as usual.
I wondered if Jack could possibly be pursuing a romantic relationship with Tom. I considered Tom a child, out of limits to the likes of Jack. Jack. I was starting to dread him. Indeed, familiarity had bred contempt but only because I could find no wrong in him.
Chapter Ten
It’d been two months and routine seemed to have befallen my household. I loved routine. I would awaken at 4 in the morning, clean up and then at 4:30, I would attend to the window side flowers in my living room. If I had ordered bread, Dumbdilock’s would show up around 5. Breakfast was always at 6.
In silence, I tended to my flowers when suddenly I sensed a figure behind me. I jerked in fright and the flowerpot crushed to the ground. Quickly, I spun only to come face to face with Jack. It was the first time I had been this close to him in a long time and that rattled my bones. Emotions that I’d buried deep surfaced much stronger. I shivered.
“I did not mean to frighten you, Lady Lauren.”
I clutched at my fluttering heart.
“No one in this household awakens earlier than me. With you around, I have to be up at 3.” He smirked. I studied his features. I couldn’t read him so I asked, “When are you leaving?”
“I work here, which implies I have no intentions to leave.”
“Vagabonds.”
“What?” He bent down to help pick up the flower pot.
“Don’t touch my flowers!” I said.
“I apologize,” he said. “I’ll see to the horses now.”
“And I’ll continue to pay you in cheese since you impose this employment upon yourself.”
“For the food and accommodation you’ve afforded me, I say you are more than fair.”
I wanted to snap back at him but words fled me. Before I could think of something to say, he was already turning to leave. I wondered what he was doing in my living room in the first place. He scanned the place as he left and then paused.
“I do not see a piano,” Jack said.
“A piano?”
“It can’t be ignored. The music playing here every night is the most serene I have ever heard. So, where is it?”
“What?”
“The piano.”
“I don’t have one.”
He scoffed. “But the music.”
“Did I put no word in that this house is haunted?” I asked testily.
An incredulous look washed over Jack’s features. He did not believe me.
“Tom didn’t mention it,” he said.
“You and Tom?” I was dying to know if there was any relationship of sorts between them.
He looked about as though searching for something, then finally said, “She’s a lovely girl.”
He did not divulge anything more. As he went out, his footsteps echoed as he walked over the trapdoor. He stopped abruptly and was bending over to uncover the rug when I snapped.
“Your duty is with horses and not the floorboards!” I shouted.
He straightened and gave me a lingering look. “Forgive me for being so explicit Lady Lauren, but it has to be said. You treat your entourage so very poorly.”
I gasped in offence and by the time I opened my mouth to respond, he was out of the room. If panic had not already washed over me, I would have pursued him for a confrontation. Instead, I hurried to the next room and grabbed a round table. I did not care if it would be an obstacle at the entrance of my living room. I just wanted to make sure that trapdoor remained and stayed shut. I did not know why I hadn’t thought of it sooner. My frail body struggled with the table but finally I placed it over the trapdoor. The weight of the table would cover my secrets. Albeit, temporarily.
In my haste, I had imagined that Jack had left the house but I was wrong. Just when I collapsed my weight over the table in resignation, he touched my hand. I jumped in fright and spun so quickly I would have fallen on my back if he hadn’t held me just in time. I shook with fervor and fright. My lips quivered. It had been an eternity since a man had held me so close.
“What do you want from me?” I asked.
“You want the truth? I haven’t had a wink of sleep since I met you.” His eyes pierced into my soul.
“Why?”
“Because I know you. I know everything about you.”
“You don--” I started to say when his soft lips caressed my words to silence. “Can I? Can I kiss you?” He had the grace to ask.
I put my hands around his neck, placed my head on his broad chest and nodded subtly. I had wanted to feel the touch of a man for so long, I had wanted Jack in my bed for an eternity, and I had denied myself that pleasure for my walls were built too high.
Jack kissed my earlobe. His hot breath tingled the hairs at the back of my neck. “I will be gentle, I promise,” he said.
I didn’t want to speak lest I say the wrong words. He put his arms around my waist and lifted me, so I wrapped my legs around his torso, allowing him to kiss me all over.
“To your bed?” he asked.
“Yes. Yes.” I was overwhelmed with emotion.
Jack was an excellent navigator. He was also very skilled with his hands, I found out when he dropped me on my bed and loosed my corset. He rubbed his warm hands against my cool thighs, then ran them beneath my dress and up my torso. I was ready to tear his clothes off until he touched my breasts. My blood ran cold because the gesture took me back to my wedding night five years ago.
Duke was haunting me again. As Jack massaged my bosoms, I remembered how Duke had stripped me on our wedding night. I had been enamored by the royal blood’s charm and expected to have the most exhilarating intercourse of my life. I was a virgin after all.
Duke, with his drunk breath, had greedily kissed my neck. I was aroused and had reciprocated by touching him, only to have him slap down my hand. I was not to touch him. Then he had bared my torso, touched my breasts with a passionate grip and then suddenly, like a child no longer interested in his toy, he stopped.
That was the first and last time Duke had touched me. It gave me a fear that the next man who saw my nakedness might hold the same disdain. My body was very fair yet that was no reassurance for a man’s love as the very next day I had walked in on Duke having invigorated intercourse with a maid, in the kitchen. That day, I swore not to sleep with him. My resolution did not bother him.
Married a virgin, I was certain I would die a virgin until the day Jack saved me from the storm. Jack. I did not know whether to trust him even though in the two months I’d known him, he’d proved worthy. Yes. I would trust him. If only not to die a virgin.
I was so lost in my thoughts, I hadn’t even noticed when Jack bared his fine body and charged
it into mine. My reverie was broken into when he pierced my innocence and explored the secrets of my being. I screamed in pleasure as he pummeled himself into me. My raw emotions were finally free. Jack was still hard when he pulled out of me. I opened my eyes immediately, fearing that he’d found me distasteful. There was disappointment in his eyes.
“I can’t make love to you if you are not making love to me,” he said.
“What?” I said that just as I realized my body had been stiff the whole time.
“It’s your first time, I know. I promise not to hurt you, Lauren.”
I flushed. I felt inexperienced and imagined that he was very disappointed with my performance, or lack thereof. Abashed, I made to rise but he gently pinned me down.
“Tell me what you want.”
I wanted to cry, there were too many emotions going through me all at once.
“Tell me what you really want!” he roared.
“I WANT A CHILD!”
An unbearable second of silence followed, before Jack chuckled.
“All you had to do was ask,” he said.
Jack pressed his chest against mine and closed the gap between us. I pushed him off. My dress was too thick a wall. I threw it off and a moment later, I was skin to skin with the most marvelous man I have ever seen. He grabbed the small of my back as I opened my legs and let him into my body. At that point, blind passion took over me. Oh, why hadn’t I met Jack sooner?
My moment of bliss was interrupted by slow, doleful piano music. My muscles stiffened. The music never played at daytime. If Jack felt bewilderment from the music, he didn’t show it. He kept his focus on me even though I was clearly distressed. He smiled.
“We are not supposed to be scared of ghosts,” he said and kissed my ears as though to block out the music.
Yes, I decided. Yes, I could trust Jack.
Chapter Eleven
Poor Tom thought I was ill. Never before had I stayed in bed well until the sun had risen into the sky. It wasn’t my nature. Nor was it in my nature to have an affair with a man who was not my husband, which is why I kept it a secret.
Jack, on the other hand, did not seem comfortable with secrecy though kept his mouth shut under the threat that I would evict him from my home. I didn’t understand why he stayed because he certainly had skills to get himself a better job. Yet, he did. I imagined it was because of me. He did indeed confess that since he’d been with me, he’d slept like a child unlike his usual sleepless nights.
I was so flattered by him, little did I notice that Jack had a habit of leaving my bed while I was asleep and then sneaking back to me before I could awaken as though he’d never left. It’d been over a fortnight since the start of our secret affair and I trusted him wholeheartedly. Paranoia only dug its claws one morning when I was obliged wake up earlier.
Dumbdilock’s was coming to deliver bread that morning and I had wanted to see her so that I could personally place a special order on pastries for an upcoming party. She was a pain when it came to negotiating pricing and I couldn’t let such responsibility into the hands of sweet Tom.
I gently stirred awake, only to realize that I was clinging only to my pillow.
“Jack?” I whispered into the empty darkness. He wasn’t there.
I was taken aback. Jack was always there when I awoke. Where could he possibly have gone at 4 o’clock in the morning? I ignored his absence, in fact, I appreciated it. That meant I had enough space to dress up before meeting the dreadful Dumbdilock’s and perhaps even time to take a quick bath. And so I did.
Thirty minutes later, I was fully dressed in a pink chiffon dress and out of my room. My mind wondered as to where Jack could be. It made me nervous that I’d awakened without him by my side. I’d been sleeping so deeply since I’d been with him, I was sure I wouldn’t notice if he slipped out on me every night and returned in the morning. In an effort to be calm, I shut down the nagging in my head. I trusted Jack. Yes, I did.
That trust exploded into shards which pierced my heart when I unwittingly walked by Tom’s room and heard voices. I paused. Tom was not an early riser but how was it that I was hearing her voice and who was she talking to? My blood curdled when Jacks voice followed. He was whispering so I couldn’t hear what he said. I didn’t care. Without thinking, I pushed the door to Tom’s room open and I could have collapsed at what I saw.
Tom was seated on her bed in her night clothes with Jack’s shirt in her hands, and over her, a shirtless Jack stood. I was livid. Tom yelped when she saw me. She hid behind Jack, who appeared upset at being interrupted.
“You scumbags, pestilence, maggots! I opened my house to you, fed you and clothed you. Is this how you repay me for my kindness?”
I was shaking with anger. How could I’ve been so foolish? I’d suspected it but surely Tom and Jack were having an affair right under my nose.
“It is not what you think.” Tom was clearly scared. She was crying.
“I trusted you, Tom. I did! Get out, get out of my house. Both of you!” I yelled.
Jack stood his ground. He said, “If you want to alienate yourself from everyone, go ahead, do it! I will leave but don’t you dare bother Tom because she’s been more loyal to you than anyone else has.”
“Do not speak to me about loyalty, you traitor!”
Jack took bold steps toward me. I didn’t flinch. If my defensive walls were previously built on sand, they were now fortified with melted iron. I wasn’t going to cry. Jack stood tall in front of me and looked me right in the eye.
“It is only my loyalty and hers that is keeping you from rotting in jail, woman!”
I was too flustered to understand him at first. “Whatever do you speak of? Tom. Pack your bags,” I said. I made to walk to her with the intent to drag her out but Jack held my hand.
“Do not touch her.”
“No? I shouldn’t touch her. Not like you touched her? Not like you touched me? How dare you, Jack. She is just a child.”
“At 24, she is hardly sucking at her mother’s breast and speaking of which, you are not her mother.”
I swallowed my spite. “I too would have been a mother if fate had not frowned upon my marriage!” He scoffed and still did not let me go. My blood boiled with hate for him. “Yes, stranger, come into my home and judge me.”
His eyes blazed with fury, so much that I was intimidated. It seemed that he’d been holding back a weight but now was about to explode.
“It is very hard not to judge someone who has kept her husband locked up in the cellar for two long years, Lauren!”
A heavy silence descended. I was dazed. A siren rung in my ears and I felt as though I would faint. “Oh God,” I whispered to myself.
Without hesitation, I ran out of the room. Like the wind, my feet carried me to the living room. I gasped in horror when I saw the table I’d placed over the trapdoor was out of place. Even worse, the rug was gone and the entrance to the cellar was open.
Ignoring the harm that could come to my dress, I descended into the cellar. It was a dingy little wooden place that was filled with barrels of wine. I ran past the barrels until I got to the end of the cellar where a barred dungeon stood. In it was a piano, a chair and a bed. Duke was gone. My heart raced. Madness seized me. I screamed.
In all the chaos, it made sense. Tom. She was the only soul who’d known the truth until Jack came along. He had been curious about the music. She must have told him. The sweet girl could confess anything when pressured. And Jack, he hadn’t been in Tom’s room for a sexual affair, he gone in there to confide in her and get his shirt cleaned after soiling it when he’d finally come down to the cellar. He did not have many clothes and I would have noticed soot from the dungeon. Oh, what a fool I’d been.
Ashen faced, I sensed someone approach me. Slowly, I turned. My fears realized. It was Duke. He was tall with dark hair, a lanky frame and usually bore a haughty demeanor. Not so now, he looked sick with large dark circles under his eyes, a demented look in his blue gaze a
nd I noticed, calloused fingers. All those years without sunlight and only playing the piano for solace must have taken their toll.
“Duke.” I shivered. He didn’t speak to me.
Guilt poured over me like a heavy blanket so that even when he closed the gap between us and crushed my neck in his grip, I accepted it. This was not the life that I chose, what would it matter if it ended?
Epilogue
A cool wet cloth against my forehead stirred me. In panic, I opened my eyes and screamed. Gentle hands held me down. Gentle hands assured me that I was safe.
“It is okay, Madam. He is gone now,” Tom said to me.
Someone put my hand into their warm palms. Jack. He was by my side. I didn’t know how to react. He smiled at me.
“Duke is back with his family. He is in their custody now.”
I shivered. I was still terribly frightened. In the moment that Duke was taking the last breath from me, Jack had come to save me. A short conflict had left Duke unconscious on the floor. I had fainted shortly after.
“You must think me cruel,” I said.
He shook his head. “I think you are brave.”
Tom smiled. She must have told him everything. The harsh reality I had endured was that Duke was a callous man. He hurt me. On drunken nights, which were quite usual, he would let out a tirade of insults on me before battering me. In those days, Tom had helped me while the other maids had simply gossiped.
I was ashamed when Duke left me though admittedly relieved. Three years after his elopement, he’d secretly returned to me seeking shelter from a terrible debt he’d accumulated while gambling in France. His time in France had only made him a worse man.
On a day he feared that his debtors would come to our home, he’d hidden in the cellar. That is the day I poisoned his food and locked him up in the dungeon. I had buried him alive in that cellar and for that, every night he’d tormented me with his beautiful music. It was a price I could bear until the day Jack came along. Jack, where did he come from? I turned to him.
Secrets of the Prairie Page 5