“Where are we going?” Ellen asked.
Jonathan answered, “Keep your voice down and stay close. We’re headed for his friends’ apartment, but there may be patrols so— “
“We’re giving him back?”
“No, I told Nathan . . . ah, Sonny, I would explain everything, and I will, to both him and his friends.”
Turning to me he requested, “When I do, please just hear me out, okay?”
“We’ve got a lot of questions Jonathan,” I said.
Jonathan was right; there were patrols. We could see the headlights of their patrol vehicles, but they looked pretty far off. We stayed close to the walls of buildings and houses while staying close to the side of the streets to stay out of the open. Finding the apartment that Lieutenant Amos was talking about wasn’t difficult. It was a big red apartment building over what used to be a bar and grill. The sign was gone, but I could see some of the faded letters on the exterior windows.
The front doors were locked, but Jonathan pulled something out of his pocket. I couldn’t fully see, but it looked like he had two small bobby pins – one was straight and the other was bent like an L. He placed the L shaped pin in the deadbolt lock, then the other pin. He moved the second pin in and out lifting it up a little and then started turning the first pin. After a few seconds, he got the door opened, leaving me surprised.
As he entered through the doorway, I grabbed his arm, “Wait! I should go in first.”
“Why you?” Ellen asked.
“They don’t know you two. They might think you’re thieves and attack.”
“Do I look like a fucking thief to you?”
“Ellen, quiet!” Jonathan hissed.
Ellen stopped and Jonathan added, “He’s right. They know him and watch your damn language.”
I entered through the doors and saw the bar and grill was empty, no food or alcohol. The chairs and tables were still there though, including the useless plasma screen TVs on the walls. There was a staircase in the back that leads to the apartments upstairs. Before I went up the stairs, I saw a clipboard attached to the wall and picked it up to look for names, remembering that Lieutenant Amos told them to pick a floor and their rooms for the landlord. The apartment complex was big and I was surprised to see the number of people that live here. I searched and found their names – fifth floor, top floor.
“Okay, they’re all on the fifth floor,” I said, pointing to their names.
“Good,” Jonathan said.
We went up the stairs and reached the fifth floor. Before I opened the door, I heard the chatter of familiar voices. I slowly opened the door and the chatter immediately stopped. When I opened the door, I saw Will and Jeff in the hallway.
“Sonny?” they both spoke in unison.
Kayley and Tracy came running out to hug me expressing, “Sonny!”
I heard my friends from the other rooms as they called out, “Sonny’s here?!”
Kayley ran up and hugged me – Tracy hugged us both. I hugged them back; it felt good. I have learned it feels good to be surrounded by people who care about you, people who are excited just to see you. They both smelled good as well – they clearly were able to shower and clean up, too. Kayley was wearing a pair of light blue small short jeans and a pink T-shirt that had a stick figure drawing of a bicycle on it. Tracy was wearing a pair of blue short jeans almost as small as Kayley’s and a tight black tank top with blue and turquoise space clouds with stars on it. Will was wearing a black and grey T-shirt with a white lightning bolt on it and a pair of dark blue jean pants. Jeff was wearing a navy-blue collared shirt with the sleeves rolled up that showed off how big and strong his arms are and a pair of blue loose jean pants. I gotta say, small jean shorts look good on Kayley and Tracy – they show off how long and healthy their legs are and their shirts show off how flat their stomachs are. They look really good! When Kayley and Tracy looked at Jonathan and Ellen, they pulled me further into the apartment and away from them. Will and Jeff let us pass so they could stand between me and Jonathan and Ellen – I noticed that Jeff had his wedding ring on his ring finger.
For an apartment above a restaurant, it was nice – and had similar design to the house – the kitchen seemed to be the focal point. There was a lot more space than I had anticipated. It had a big kitchen, a small dining room, three bathrooms, skyline roof windows, and four bedrooms – and that was just Will and Kayley’s place. There were three doors that lead to different apartment rooms that were the same as Will and Kayley’s place.
“Hey!” Patch and Jess greeted me as well.
“Hey,” I responded as I hugged them both and they hugged back.
“Sonny!” Ashley and Carrie spotted me.
They hugged me fervently with a kiss and I returned the same – it felt like being reunited with family. Molly hugged me from behind and I turned around and hugged her back. Father Lawrence and Faith showed up and they were happy to see me as I hugged them both, but their smiles disappeared when they saw Jonathan and Ellen. Faith also had her wedding ring on her ring finger. Father Lawrence was wearing a nice white linen cotton collared shirt and a pair of blue jeans – he looked handsome. Faith was wearing a white short summer dress with blue flowers on it that made her look like an angel.
“Wow, I can see how much you all care about him,” Jonathan said.
Will crossed his arms and Jeff stood up straight.
“Hello again, I’m Jonathan, Jonathan Way, and this is my daughter Ellen – we met earlier.”
No one spoke.
After a moment of silence, Jonathan said, “Look, I know back there was very strange, and I’m certain it made some of you feel uncomfortable, but I hope you’ll let me explain.”
Will and Jeff slowly nodded, but gave this look like Jonathan was nuts.
“Hey! We’re not crazy if that’s what you all are thinking,” Ellen jabbed defensively.
“Then what’s going on?” Jeff asked.
“Look, let’s sit down, and I’ll explain,” Jonathan said.
Will and Kayley led them into their apartment and sat them on the couch in the living room. Everyone else gathered around to listen.
Jonathan started, “We’ve all been through a lot before reaching this city, I’m sure that’s true for everyone, though I don’t know precisely what you’ve all been through and what you’ve lost, but I can imagine there’s pain there, too. My wife Clara is no exception. She has simply been through too much – we’ve lost so many friends over the past months and I believe she reached an emotional breaking point.”
“We know what that’s like,” Ashley said.
“Who’s Nathan?” I asked directly.
After a long pause he answered, “Nathan was my son . . . he died a few weeks ago.”
“We’re sorry for your loss,” Kayley said.
“Nathan was shot . . . killed by a bandit . . . he died in Clara’s arms. I buried him and Clara didn’t speak since. We didn’t know if we would ever make it to this place, but then we were found by a patrol and they brought us here. Then, when she saw Sonny, she spoke for the first time since our son died. When I saw her hugging Sonny and calling him Nathan, I think I realized what happened to her. After Nathan died, she was in shock – technically she was suffering from post-traumatic stress – I think she chose to block out his death to spare herself from confronting the reality that he’s gone – she’s chosen to deny his death, refusing to believe he’s gone, to instead treat . . . to instead make Sonny our son Nathan.”
“Why Sonny? Why would she make him her son?” Tracy questioned.
“I’m not certain – I wondered myself until I saw him – it may be just opportunistic or it could be that he sounds and looks a lot like our son.”
“That makes sense, in a way,” Faith said.
I know it wasn’t Clara’s fault that she’s in denial and traumatized after losing her son, but choosing me as her son was a real wild card.
“Well again, we are sorry to hear that and we t
hank you for bringing Sonny back to us. We hope that your wife recovers well,” Tracy said.
“Actually, that’s what I wanted to talk to you about. I know Clara’s in denial, but I also believe she can’t confront the truth right now, that perhaps time to reconcile the reality of his death can help her heal, help her come to grips with the truth. I don’t believe just trying to make her confront Nathan’s death will work. In fact, I’m afraid it would destroy her . . . I’m afraid she could lose the only ties to reality she still has. She may psychologically break down. She may lose her mind or get so depressed, that she’ll entirely shut down – give up,” Jonathan explained.
“Shut down? What does that mean?” Carrie asked.
“Meaning, that she’ll stop caring about herself or worse she could attempt to take her own life.”
“Jesus,” Faith uttered.
“Well, I’m sure this city has a mental hospital that can help her,” Tracy insisted.
“I already asked. The nearest mental institute was out of town and got overrun during the outbreak. They don’t have any mental health professionals and nowhere to treat or help people in need of in-patient mental health care. But there is a way to help my wife . . .”
“Which is?” Jeff asked.
“I’m asking that Sonny play along for a while, pretend that he’s Nathan for Clara, and then after a while, when she’s stable, he can come back to you. I know it’s a lot to ask, but my feeling is that she can’t handle the truth yet, but given some time therapy I believe she can accept Nathan’s death and get on with her life with Ellen and me.”
“Alright, so let me get this straight. You want Sonny to live with you and pretend that he’s Clara’s son? That he acts like he’s a part of your family?” Kayley asked.
Jonathan nodded and answered, “Yes.”
“And for how long would that take . . . for Clara to accept the truth?” Will asked.
Jonathan shrugged.
“I don’t know,” he answered.
“You don’t know – that’s because no one knows, it could be NEVER!” Will raising his voice.
“It may take longer than I’d like or Sonny may like, but he’s got to live somewhere, and living in a family – with us – can be a good thing for him as well. It could be a few months, or maybe a year or two . . . I don’t know.”
“A year or two?!” Tracy almost shouted.
Will started rubbing his eyes and started, “Let me start from the top again. Your wife who’s in shock thinks that Sonny is her son Nathan and you think the best way for her to heal, so she’ll accept reality and the truth is by having Sonny live with you in your house and pretend he’s a member of your family. Is that about, right?”
Jonathan sighed, “Yes.”
Everyone, including me, stared at him. He wants me to pretend that I’m Nathan until Clara can come to terms with reality. As crazy as that sounded, after spending just the evening with Clara, it somehow made sense to me. Telling her straight out didn’t seem like a good idea to me – she may flip or worse – doing it this way sounded better. And in truth, it was costing me very little, Jonathan was right.
Will was the first to speak as he said bluntly, “No.”
“No,” Kayley joined.
“Hell. No,” Tracy stated clearly.
“Please, I’m asking that we just try this arrangement for a while. Sonny can always change his mind,” Jonathan begged.
“We can’t help you. Talk to Lieutenant Amos, he may know of someone that can help. Your wife can talk to a psychologist or a therapist and get some real help,” Will suggested.
The whole time Will talked; Jonathan kept shaking his head.
“They probably have guys that deal with PTSD for soldiers, so they should know how to handle this better than any of us can. They may have dealt with this kind of thing many times before.”
“I told you, I’ve already asked him and he said we have to deal with this on our own or we may get thrown out! He said there’s no room for the insane! You don’t know my wife. You don't have the kind of grief that she’s been through!” Jonathan objected.
“Well I’m sorry, but your wife being in shock isn’t our problem!” Tracy said.
“My wife could break down if we tell her the truth! She may kill herself!”
“We can’t help you. Now, I’d like for you to leave,” Will said, getting up.
“This is my mother we’re talking about! Are you really going to do this to her?! To us?!” Ellen shouted.
“I’m sorry, honey, but we don’t know you and Sonny isn’t the solution to your problem,” Kayley responded.
“So, you’re really gonna do this? You’re really gonna risk letting my mom flip out if she has to face the truth?”
“Look kid, we’re sorry about what happened to your brother. Really, we are, but we don’t know you or your mom and what you’re asking can’t be done. We’ve been through a lot of shit to get here and we’re not going to get involved in any trouble that’s not our business! Now, for the last time, go home!” Will was grabbing Jonathan’s arm.
Jonathan resisted and looked like he was trying not to cry.
He took a few moments to find his words and spoke gently, “Do you have kids of your own? Are any of these children yours? Are you a married man?”
Will looked at him square in the eye and explained, “Kayley is my girlfriend and my partner in life. All these kids are orphans that we’ve looked after before all this even happened. I may not be married or a father, but I know what it’s like to stay up half of the night worrying about their safety. I know what it’s like to look after people like they’re family. That’s why I can’t approve of this. That boy has been through more than anyone could ever ask. He and his friends have suffered through more sorrow, more pain, and more loss than any child should ever have to in a hundred lifetimes.”
Ashley and Carrie stepped in front of me and asked, “Mister, do you even know his full name or where he’s from?”
Jonathan shook his head.
Carrie spoke first, “His name is Sonny Daniels. He, my sister Ashley and me, are from upstate New York. He saved our lives and promised our father, before he died, that he would never let anything bad happen to us.”
“The military sent us to Denver because they thought it was safe, it wasn’t, and instead of going back to New York, he agreed with everyone else to come here for our safety. He chose to keep us safe, knowing that he may never see his parents again. They’re still in New York and he’s out here. If you knew the rest of his story, of what he’s done for us and what he’s been through, what we’ve been through together, I don’t know that you would be asking him to do this,” Ashley finished
Jonathan and Ellen’s eyes widened and they exchanged troubled looks.
“Jesus . . . of course, you have your own stories . . . you’ve really been through the mill,” Jonathan said.
“We all have, mister. We all have,” Molly said.
“Okay look, we’ve all suffered since the outbreak happened and lost loved ones. I’m not asking you to replace your family, I would never do that, but I am asking for help. I need your help. Please help my wife. Don’t leave her like this. Don’t leave us like this. I’m begging you, please. Please.”
I stepped forward and said, “I’ll help you.”
Everyone in the room stood in shocked silence and slowly turned to me.
“You can’t be serious,” Will stated.
“Will.”
“Sonny, no. I won’t allow this,” Kayley said.
“Neither will I,” Tracy added, with her arms crossed.
“Guys look, I think I know these people. I’m choosing to help them,” I explained.
“You mean, you think this will help her recover,” Kayley corrected.
“Some people never recover over the loss of a child. The death of their own kid can scar them forever,” Tracy stated.
“Sonny, it’s never gonna work, they— “
“I’d
say Sonny’s right to give it a shot,” Father Lawrence joined in.
“You gotta be fucking kidding me,” Tracy scoffed.
“Look, they’re not asking him to do something dangerous. They’re asking to play along to see if she recovers, and if Sonny’s alright with it then— “
“This woman lost her son and is mentally unstable. There are a million things that she may do if she finds out the truth. In fact, there’s a million things that she may do right now and I’d rather have Sonny as far away from her as possible,” Kayley said.
“He’s asking for my help, not yours, and I’m saying yes,” I asserted.
Will sighed and walked toward the window.
“Like that little girl in Denver,” I added.
Will stopped and the whole room was silent. Will turned around and looked at me.
I sighed, “I don’t want to see anyone hurt, especially, a mother who still has a daughter to worry about. I can do this and no one will get hurt.”
“Guys, maybe he’s right. This does seem harmless enough,” Jeff said.
“I think so, too. It’s better than the alternative,” Faith agreed.
Carrie walked away and Ashley rubbed her eyes.
“Carrie,” I called out, stopping her.
“These people are strangers. You don’t know them, Sonny,” Carrie declared.
“I know enough that Clara isn’t dangerous or crazy. She’s just confused, like that grandma down the street in our neighborhood, remember? She thought you and Ashley were her grandchildren and she was completely harmless. She’d never hurt anyone, especially you and Ashley.”
“This isn’t the same thing, Sonny. Patty was senile; Clara is in shock; those are two different things. You can’t go around helping everyone with their problems,” Ashley said.
“I’m not trying to solve everyone’s problems and it’s not like I’m going away or anything. Look, I help these people out and if it doesn’t work, then it’s over. If it does, then we’ve helped another human being confront and heal from the loss of her son – I say that’s worth it,” I stated.
Everyone was silent for a while until I spoke again, “Come on, guys. Jonathan is asking for our help . . . that’s what we do for people – for each other.”
The Dark Days Series | Book 2 | Sanctuary Page 6