It was quiet for a while until Will sighed, “Fine. Fine, do whatever you gotta do.”
“Okay,” Kayley said, rubbing her eyes.
Tracy gave a look of disbelief, but finally said, “Alright, fine.”
“Thank you. Thank you,” Jonathan said.
“A few conditions. One, Sonny, you visit us every day no matter what you’re doing. Two, you don’t overstep your boundaries. Just because Sonny’s pretending to be your son doesn’t mean you get to boss him around. You’re not his father,” Will stated.
Jonathan nodded and agreed, “I don’t boss around my children. I got it.”
“And I want to spend some time with Clara. I want to see what kind of person she is,” Tracy said.
Kayley placed her hands on my shoulders to get my attention, “And if you no longer feel comfortable with this, if you feel you can’t do this anymore, or even if you just plain flat out want to be with us, you can come straight here, understand?”
“Yes,” I answered.
Ashley and Carrie still looked like they didn’t approve.
I walked over to them to speak, “I want to do this for them, for Clara, and we’ll continue on with our lives. I’ll still be here with you; they live just a little over a mile from here.”
“I just want you to be safe . . . and selfishly, I want you with us,” Carrie stated.
“It’s gonna take time to be comfortable with this,” Ashley said.
I looked over at Molly and spoke, “Molly?”
Molly sighed, “If you believe this is the right thing to do, then go ahead and do so. We just want you here with us, because we love you.”
“And I love all of you,” I stated clearly.
I hugged everyone and Jonathan thanked my friends again. I suddenly remembered the cameras in my backpack – I thought a gift of one would be appropriate.
“Oh, Kayley, I found this in that RV and thought you and Will might like it,” I said, giving her the new Polaroid camera box.
Kayley's eyes widened as she looked at the camera and me with a smile. Her expression suddenly changed; she really didn’t want me to go.
Kayley started, “Sonny . . . this is— “
“I hope it still works. Anyway, goodnight guys,” I said.
We exited out of the room to head for the stairs when Will called out.
“Wait,” Will called.
We stopped and Will slowly walked to Jonathan, “There have been times where I was inches from death and one of those times, I survived was because of this boy here. So, as you can imagine, I care deeply about his well-being.”
“I understand that,” Jonathan said.
“I expect you to not let any harm come to him like you would for your daughter, Ellen.”
Jonathan back away a little, “I won’t let anything bad happen to him. I give you my word.”
“Good.”
“I’m not your enemy, Will. I’m just trying to help someone I love and swore to protect and Sonny’s in a unique position to help.”
I waved my friends goodnight and we headed back to Clara and the house.
Ellen grabbed my arm, “Was that really necessary?”
“What?” I asked, taking my arm back.
“Seemed to me that guy was threatening my dad. He didn’t have to do that. I mean, who do you people think you are?”
I didn’t respond.
“What, you just not gonna say anything?” Ellen asked.
“It’s as Will said, they care about me. They just want me to be safe,” I replied.
“Still though.”
We made it back to the house just as quietly and carefully as we left. As before, we could see the patrols and their lights from a distance.
Before I opened the front door, Ellen hissed, “Just because you’re pretending to be my Mom’s son doesn’t make you my brother. You will never replace my real brother.”
I stared at her and asked, “Is that what you think I’m doing?”
I turned and walked through the door making one last remark, “Think about it.”
From the sound of it, Jonathan was having a conversation with Ellen. I went to bed immediately. I thought, ‘How did I get here?’ ‘What did I get myself into?’
Life is truly a strange thing. I was so tired that I fell asleep in seconds.
Chapter 3
Nathan/Sonny
“Support your friend, even if you don’t support their situation.”
– Unknown
Gold Rush City conjures elements of San Francisco with the presence of monorails, but the housing was more like those of the Pacific Northwest – western Washington and Oregon. The city itself must have been very attractive before the outbreak.
When James W. Marshall found gold at Coloma on the American River in January of 1848, news spread far and wide to all those who hoped for riches and wealth. That was the beginning of the famous Gold Rush that brought thousands upon thousands of people to venture west to California. Some earned money as they worked in the mines; those who profited from selling goods and services to the gold seekers earned more. The original name for the city was Crescent Moon, because of the river whose origin was in the northern hills and swept in opposite directions, wrapping themselves around the City in the shape of an arching crescent and ultimately emptying its northern and southern waters into the ocean. At the confluence of the river’s terminations into the sea, two rocks rose from the ocean to form the separate tips of the crescent formation. The Northern Rock was a perfect location for the placement of a lighthouse, the Crescent Lighthouse.
There were never plans for building anything on the Southern Rock as it was simply too narrow. Legend was that standing on the Southern Rock and making a wish in the moonlight would ensure its outcome – many high school students would go there to both make out and make wishes. Others said it only worked if you made a wish at the Southern Rock during sunrise and then made the same wish at the Northern Rock at sunset – only then will it come true. When the gold ran out, many people thought the town would go out, too. However, many settlers were smart about their new-found wealth and created a trading port up and down the coast – later trading with South America, the east coast, the Pacific Islands, and after completion of the Panama Canal, Europe and Asia. Since the city had such beautiful beaches, many movies had been shot here. So, the city survived long after the gold mines ran dry and the harshness and austerity of the Great Depression had come and gone.
When the outbreak happened, the military took control of the city and declared martial law only days after the initial outbreak. The people of Gold Rush formed a Citizen’s Council Committee that speaks for the civilian population. The military still had ultimate authority, but the Council has input into decisions affecting the community.
Just like my Mom, Clara came into my room to wake me up for school the next morning. For a moment, I saw my real mother’s smile and joy in seeing me and waking me for another day. I was happy in that moment, but shortly my thoughts went to my real mother and how worried she must be about me. Clara was kind and beautiful – like my real mother. It wasn’t hard to pretend to be Clara’s son, she made me feel welcomed and feeling loved felt really good, even if it was because she thought I was Nathan.
“Get yourself ready fast, sweetie. I don’t know when the school escort will be here,” Clara said.
“Alright, I’m up. I’ll get dressed,” I groaned and got up.
I got dressed in casual clothing, a black Batman Beyond T-shirt with blue jeans, but since I had no school supplies, I just brought the school backpack empty figuring the school would supply us with all the stuff we’d need. I left behind the other Polaroid camera in my room. Jonathan went to Ellen’s room to get her ready the same time Clara did for me. We emerged from our rooms almost at the same time, but I didn’t make any eye contact with her.
Some of the neighboring houses had a few kids of their own that were attending school, I felt less uncomfortable since they were carry
ing backpacks as well. Clara and Jonathan started conversations with the other parents as we walked toward the pick-up point. Some of them were new here as well and came in a few months back. Three of the families had been here before the outbreak started. I didn’t really talk much to the other kids; I generally kept to myself as I waited for . . . whatever was gonna take us to school. To my relief, I smiled as I saw my friends and waved at them. They smiled and waved when they saw me as well. Finally, a monorail appeared and was headed our way. The monorail looked nice in white and blue colors with big shaded windows. The tracks above were about two stories high, but I’ve seen them in some parts of the city three stories high. I suddenly remembered all the tracks that I saw when we drove to the house from the hospital; they were all over the place.
“Okay, here it comes. You two be good and make it a great day!” Clara said to Ellen and me.
“Okay, Mom,” Ellen said.
I nodded.
Clara kissed us both on the head and we joined the others on the monorail that would take us to the school. We got in and it was better than taking a bus – it was much cleaner and more space. It ran a faster and a lot smoother than I expected. Along the way I saw a lot of people using bikes to get around town. I saw military patrols along the way – they were marching in the streets, driving in vehicles, and patrolling on rooftops. Most of them wore riot helmets and their gear was black instead of camouflage – they looked more like SWAT teams or cops than the military. It’s strange. It almost looked like a normal thriving city, but with more military and police with far less cars driving around.
I instantly felt positive feelings being with my friends. It’s only been a day and a half and Ellen was making me feel both uncomfortable and unwelcomed. Do I hate her that much that I feel this good around my friends? No, I don’t hate her – she’s not bad, it’s just her grief lashing out.
After a while, the monorail took us down a long road that ended as we arrived at the school. So, it was basically a two-minute walk from the neighborhood and about a fifteen to twenty-minute ride on a monorail. The school looked almost the same as the elementary school in Denver when we met Will and Kayley’s group. Seeing the resemblance gave me a flashback of that night we met Will and the others – the zombies chasing us. By the looks on my friends’ faces, they had one or two thoughts back to that night as well.
We exited the monorail and followed everyone else inside. The school was really nice and well designed – big hallways, skylight roof windows, lots of classrooms, lockers in different colors. One of the school staff called and asked if anyone was new and to follow him; we did and were quickly assigned classes. As expected, the school gave us all the school stuff that we would need. Surprisingly, it wasn’t that hard for me to catch up on schoolwork, but I couldn’t say the same for some of my friends. Molly and Ashley were fine, but Carrie, Patch and Jess were having a little more trouble. The teachers were fine, but I still missed Mr. McWall from my old school.
We ate lunch outside just like at Fort Drum even though it had a big cafeteria. The courtyard where we ate was neatly designed with trees here and there, comfortable benches and tables, and nice little patches of grass to lay on and hang out in some parts of the courtyard. However, it felt strange sitting on the table bench like I used to after so much had happened. It felt so long ago when the girls and I used to sit outside chatting with Pat and our other friends. I tried remembering all the things Pat used to tell us about South Carolina, but it was too painful to think about because . . . like so many others, he’s gone. I watched some of the younger kids run around while playing tag in the playground. My friends and I used to do those kinds of things, but looking at it now makes it all seem so . . . trivial and childish, no, innocent – and we were anything but innocent now. I miss being a kid. The simplicity, the absence of stress or worry; knowing you were safe and there was nothing that your parents couldn’t protect you from.
My friends sat with me and Ashley was the first to speak, “Feels weird, doesn’t it?”
“Yeah,” I agreed.
“What feels weird?” Patch asked.
“Look around you, the kids, the play, the school,” Carrie instructed.
Patch looked around and Molly explained, “All the kids are just being kids and being normal. How long ago was it we were doing that?”
“Oh.”
“Plus, the school looks a lot like the one that we first met at, doesn’t it?” Ashley asked.
Both Patch and Jess looked closely at the school and their eyes widened.
“I didn’t notice that until now,” Jess stated.
“Kinda does,” Patch agreed.
“So, how’s the new family . . . uh, people?” Carrie asked me.
“Clara and Jonathan seem normal enough. They’re actually really nice,” I said, leaving out that it can be comforting to feel like you're part of a traditional family again.
“And what’s your new ‘sister’s’ name? Helen?”
“Ellen.”
“Right, she okay, too?”
I answered honestly, “No, she’s not. She doesn’t like me, seems to resent the very air that I breathe.”
“What? You’re doing her mom a humongous favor and she hates you?” Ashley asked.
I shook my head and responded, “She’s just angry because I’m pretending to be her brother and she’s taking her anger out on me.”
“If I remember correctly from last night, she was asking for help like her dad did and you agreed to it. So, how does being mad at you in any way constitute a sign of gratitude?” Jess asked.
“Look, guys, the situation is a little odd for all of us, including her. They’ve suffered the loss of a family member, so no one can really blame them for what they feel,” I defended.
“I do, because her mother being in shock and thinking that you’re her son isn’t your fault. Also, you don’t have to do this. You can walk out of this whenever you want, like right now for example and no one can stop you,” Carrie stated, while taking her hat off to check it.
I turned to her, “Clara’s nice Carrie, I actually think Jonathan is right, the truth right now would be too harsh, she just needs time to confront the truth. I can help give her that time.”
Ashley gently pulled my arm to get my attention and looked at me square in the eye, “I was eleven-years-old when you told me right to my face that our father was dead. Carrie was ten and sitting right next to me. You could have lied about it to make it less painful, but you didn’t – you told us the truth. It was hard and painful, but we moved on and you were there for us. This woman is like what? Early to mid-forties?”
“Age has nothing to do with it. Grief and trauma can be experienced by people of any age.”
“If Carrie and I can move on after losing both our parents, then she can, too.”
“Ashley, maybe you and Carrie are just stronger, maybe it’s because this is her son, her child. Maybe that’s a whole different kind of grief, a different kind of love – I don’t know. Your Dad died as a parent protecting his children. Clara snapped because she failed to protect hers.”
“Why are you defending her?” Molly asked.
“I’ve seen enough to know that she is a loving mother and a good person. In fact, she’s sweet. I’m tired of seeing good people suffering, people that don’t deserve to have bad things happen to them . . . like hitting her between the eyes with ‘I’m sorry, your son is already dead,’ and we just see if she emotionally melts down and never comes back.”
Patch leaned in a little, “Do what you want to. If you want to help this woman recover from her loss, that’s fine by me. But all we’re saying is that even though she and her family have been through a lot, it’s different from what we’ve been through together. Just because we all have been through a lot, doesn’t mean that we’re all the same. All that shit we went through to get here, we did it together – and not with them.”
“She may have convinced herself that you’re her son, but that wi
ll never make it true. We don’t think you belong with them, you belong with us,” Molly said.
I listened to what my friends had said, maybe they were right, no matter how much Clara loves me or how much she believes that I’m Nathan, that’s never going to make it true. I can’t truly understand what kind of a horrific journey that she and her family have been through, but I do know that she wasn’t able to accept what happened. Everyone who’s survived has suffered some sort of loss and unfathomable pain, but how we help each other is how we preserve our soul, how we retain our humanity – how we bridge the chasm between being strangers and being compassionate.
“Guys,” I started.
“Look Sonny, you have a good heart which is why we love you and why you’re willing to help these people, but they still had no right to do that – to put this on you. This kind of responsibility isn’t something you let a stranger handle – they’re not family, they’re not your family,” Ashley explained.
Carrie held my hand and spoke, “You’re our family Sonny.”
I felt one of my heartstrings tug.
“We’ll keep our mouths shut about the truth and play ball with you, but those conditions that Will said still stand – including the one that Kayley said where you can stop this whenever you want,” Patch said.
“Yeah, even if there’s no reason at all, you can stop if you want,” Jess added.
“After all is said and done, what we’re saying is we’re still with you, even if we think this is a colossal cluster-fuck!” Molly smiled.
“Guys—” I started again.
“Now, if you’re not gonna eat that sandwich, I will,” Patch said, making a grab.
“No way!” I said, taking it first.
“How about I take some of your food, Patch!” Carrie said, putting her hat back on.
“Oh no you don’t!” Patch said.
We were able to laugh again. We started tossing grapes into each other’s mouths. It didn’t take long for us to get pretty good at it. Now that Ashley mentioned her age, I took a moment to look at the girls and see how much they’d grown. I hadn’t really noticed until now. If I’m twelve then Ashley is thirteen and Carrie is twelve, too – I’ve grown, too. Patch, Jess, and Molly felt older, too. I had a feeling we are going to be pretty amazing when we became adults – well, if we live that long.
The Dark Days Series | Book 2 | Sanctuary Page 7