by Max Lockwood
“Yeah,” Felicia muttered, “but when is the question.”
Clara tried to think back. When she was younger, their family had been big on going out on random trips. Sometimes, it was just them riding around on their bikes and calling it an adventure. But there were times when the trips were planned, and they were in a lot of different places. She knew there weren’t any large wooden areas around their town, because the time they went camping, they had to leave the state. She didn’t see the point in going where there were more trees than less, and no one had explained it to her.
Could they take the lack of animals in here as a sign? She wasn’t much of a nature girl, usually she just tagged along with her family because it was a family trip. Cooper, though, usually led camping trips, back in their old jobs as high school teachers.
“We don’t have all the time in the world,” Cooper said. “But we can stand to lose a little, if it’ll get us farther in the long run. That’s the end goal, and preferably while we aren’t exhausted.”
“We don’t even have a solid way to tell direction,” Clara muttered. “We’re vaguely following the path of the sun, keeping to a straight line in the hope that we’ll get out on the other side of these woods. And that isn’t even the biggest problem for now,” she said before anyone else could add an argument.
“What do you mean?” Felicia asked with a frown.
“If we don’t want to get slowed down even further, we need to do something about those kids. They don’t have the energy, and I can tell they’re trying, but we can't make them keep walking.”
“I would offer to carry them—” Cooper started, but Clara cut him off.
“You have your hands full with my sister. I can carry one, and Alice wouldn’t mind carrying the other.”
Cooper frowned at her. “There’s a reason I decided to help Tessa instead of letting you do it, you know. If you stress your body out much farther, you’ll collapse, Clara.”
Felicia arched a suspicious eyebrow her way, and Clara narrowed her eyes at Cooper in annoyance.
“They’re children. I know they won’t be light, but they’ll be easier to carry. And it won’t be for the whole time, just a bit at a time. We can't wait for them to collapse in exhaustion first, Cooper.”
“But what about you?”
“I can handle it,” she said insistently. “If it’s only for a little bit…”
She turned her eyes over to where Alice was seated with her children leaning against her. She wasn’t exactly young, and she had two of them to take care of on her own. Clara didn’t know what had happened to their dad, but Alice was the other nurse in the group. While she wasn’t nearly as skilled as Felicia, as far as Clara knew, she was devoting her whole life to her kids, much like Clara was to her family and friends, and Clara admired the other woman’s strength.
Besides, Clara had been the one to knock on her door and tell her to go with them, when they were picking up as many people to go with them as possible on their way out of town for the last time, after telling her there was danger. Alice hadn't asked twice, just trusted her and followed. There were those that had opted to stay, and a part of Clara wondered if they were still alive; if Alice and her kids would have had a better chance if they’d stayed at home.
But another part of her rebelled at the idea. If the people back home didn’t all die, then they were living in misery far worse than their own. Just having a nice, comfy place to sleep wasn’t everything.
They just had to find something better, for the rest of them.
When their break ended, Clara approached Alice, who agreed with the plan and was actually a little relieved. Clara took the first turn with the girl, having the child climb up on her back. It meant she had to shift what she was carrying, but, luckily for her, the bag had straps that she pulled over her shoulders and carried the bag on her front.
Cooper sent her a disapproving look, but she just pointedly glanced at the heavy backpack he still carried as he helped Tessa move along.
She still wasn’t sure it was the best way to go, but having a knife at her throat had reminded her why it really was the safer option. They at least had some weapons on them, they hadn’t lost quite everything, but if they came across other people that were armed and had no qualms with killing, it would be safest to stay out of sight. The chances they would run into anyone in these woods were pretty slim, thankfully, so they just had to worry about what they would find on the other side.
They were lucky, too, that the forest floor wasn’t as bad as she’d feared, the further in they went. Of course, when it had just been her and Felicia, they had moved much faster and went further in less time, but they didn’t lag behind too much. Besides, those had been forays that didn’t last too long, meaning they didn’t go too far, either. They stopped twice more for a short rest each time and to pass around some more food, Clara sacrificing some of her portion for the children’s sake.
She found that the forest went on for a long way, a lot further than she’d thought. And Cooper’s theory had been correct; she could see farmland through a clearing.
The relief that went through her when she first saw it was indescribable. They were all more than just tired, they were growing a little demoralized, and that could be dangerous. Clara didn’t know how to keep them all upbeat, and she was losing hope, until she looked up herself and caught something hazy in the distance.
The trees were growing thinner already, so seeing through them was easier.
“Hey, Felicia, Cooper?” she called.
“What is it?” Felicia asked from beside her, as Cooper came up on her other side, practically carrying all of Tessa’s weight by that point.
“Can you guys look ahead?” she asked, keeping her voice quiet. “I think I see something…”
They were the ones in the lead. Every now and then, Clara would look back to make sure the rest of them were following behind them, no one lagging too far back, but she spoke quietly so they wouldn’t hear. She didn’t want to get anyone’s hopes up, only for it to turn out to be her imagination.
Cooper made a sound, and, at the same time, Felicia gasped.
So it wasn’t her imagination.
“Those are houses, Clara!” Cooper hissed, part awe, part joy in his voice. “I didn’t think we’d get to see anything for a few days. We must have been moving faster than we thought or these woods weren’t that large…”
“Or we managed to pick the shorter straight distance through,” Felicia said gleefully. “Finally, Clara!” but then she dialed back her enthusiasm. “I’ll go back and tell everyone else, but we need to be careful. If this town is anything like the one from before…”
Clara nodded sharply, some of her enthusiasm dying. “We need to stay on the alert. Just let them know there’s some hope ahead.”
Felicia nodded and fell back. They moved a little further, and the trees thinned even more. Clara could see clearly now, and she wasn’t the only one.
She could tell the change in the group almost immediately, she could hear them acting speaking more lively than before, and she grinned, because she couldn’t hold back her own good mood, either.
Finally, after so much walking, they were getting somewhere! She didn’t know where, but the other problems could come later. No one had outright complained, but Clara could still tell, by how they all slowly went quiet, their steps closer, and their tight expressions when she happened to look back at them. She didn’t have to look back now to see, because she could tell by the little exclamations they made, and the sounds of their walking suddenly moving faster. In a few moments, the people that had lagged behind were close enough they threatened to pass her by, but none of them did. They didn’t need to.
But it was getting late, the sky darkening, and they were in unknown territory, so Clara stopped when she could see the houses more clearly in the distance while still keeping them under the cover of trees, and the others stopped with her.
“I think we should stay here for
tonight and explore tomorrow, after setting up camp here,” she suggested. “These fools probably won’t be any more welcoming than the last town we went through, and it would be a lot safer if we went out in the daylight.”
The others agreed, and they pitched their tents. Clara just sighed in relief that no one tried to argue the decision. Much as it hadn’t been her intention to be in charge again, there was something to be said about people that listened to you in times like these.
“Hey, Cooper,” she called out after he’d gotten her sister settled. He came over to her immediately, and she almost smiled. “Would you like to explore the forest with me? I figure we might as well try before it’s full dark, see if there’s anything we can find.”
He just shrugged and carelessly said, “Sure,” like it was a foregone conclusion that he would have gone with her whether or not she asked, and she did smile then.
They went ahead, searching the woods together after she told Tessa their plans. She hoped to hurry before it became too dark to see anything. They had flashlights, but Clara wanted to keep them for when they really needed them. Who knew how long they could be stuck outside.
“How are you holding up?”
“Hmm?” Clara looked around at Cooper.
He sighed. “I mean, there was a vicious attack on you this morning. I should say another, but I really don’t want to remember all the other times you ended up under attack.”
Clara shivered. “Honestly speaking, neither do I.” Then she sighed. “But I’m okay.”
The silence after her declaration pretty much spoke for itself, and she stopped, facing Cooper head on and meeting his frown. He probably didn’t believe her. Part of her didn’t believe her, either.
“Seriously, Cooper, I’m fine,” she insisted. “I mean, yeah, it was terrible, but it isn’t the first time something like that has happened, either, and not always with a knife.”
But Cooper seemed to pick up on the fact that she was shaken. Clara snapped her mouth closed and swallowed the sudden lump there, thinking maybe she shouldn’t have mentioned the other times out loud. It wasn’t like she could forget, none of them had been all that long ago, but saying it out loud just brought it all back, made it all the more real. And that morning, she’d felt exactly like she had any of those other times, the frustration and helplessness that she absolutely hated even more than the fear of dying.
“Talk to me, Clara,” Cooper said quietly as he stepped closer so he was standing right in front of her, though he didn’t reach for her. “You know you can always talk to me. I know everything’s been so crazy recently. You can get it off your chest with me before we head back.”
It was a tempting offer, and not one Clara felt she could refuse right then. She took in a deep, shaky breath, and released it on a shudder.
“Okay, so maybe I’m not fine with what happened. Felicia did something that both scared and bothered me, but I’m not really sad or anything that the woman is dead. I miss Viola, too, and that’s hard to forget.”
She swallowed the lump in her throat. Cooper sighed again and this time he did reach for her, his hands holding on to her arms as she shifted close enough to rest her forehead on his chest. Almost immediately, there was a hand on her nape, fingers rubbing in a circular rhythm that had her sighing and relaxing instantly, a large palm rubbing soothing circles on her back.
“I know how you feel,” he said after a short silence. “I’ve been with you in some of those situations, remember? And even when it’s not aimed right at me, my heart practically stops every time I see you in that position. And about Viola… I lost my own grandmother to cancer when I was around sixteen.”
Clara gasped and pulled back to look up at him with widened eyes. He smiled down at her, though it looked slightly pained.
“We used to do a lot of stuff together. Believe it or not, she was the outdoorsy one in the family, even more than my dad. We’d go camping, and when my grandmother joined us, we’d go fishing. She always caught more than me, but I never found out her secret. My parents… didn’t let me be there to watch her wither away, and for a while I kind of hated them for taking the decision away from me. But I was there, in the hospital, on the day she passed away.”
Clara could feel tears gathering in her eyes, realizing he understood her pain. She didn’t know much about his family, save for a few things he’d told her about his parents. Blinking the tears out of her eyes, she reached up her hands to cup his face between them.
“I’m glad you shared your experience with me.” She knew he trusted her already, but this just further confirmed it. Her eyes roamed over his face, then she gave him a shaky smile. “To be honest, I’m desperate to forget everything that’s going on around us and relax.”
She didn’t see any objections in his eyes. She kissed Cooper and pulled him close, backing him against a tree. He went with it, but then he gently pushed her away, and she met his eyes again, confused.
“I don’t want to,” he said.
Clara’s breath hitched, panic overwhelming her for a second. Why was Cooper rejecting her? But though he’d stopped the kiss, he still had an arm around her, the other holding her back by the shoulder.
“Why?” she asked, her voice breaking on the single word. Why would he back away from her when she needed him? He’d never done that before, besides the time she’d hurt him without realizing it, when Clara still didn’t know that Cooper loved her, and he’d walked in on her, naked and in bed with Dante.
He sighed and rested his forehead against hers. “I can’t make love to you when I know you’re brokenhearted, Clara.”
“But I just want to forget,” Clara insisted. “Please, Cooper?”
He groaned, like it was physically difficult for him to respond to her plea, his hand on her shoulder tightening a moment, but he didn’t move to bring her closer.
“You shouldn’t forget, or you’ll never heal. Any other time, Clara, I swear I won’t refuse you. It’s taking everything I have not to cave in, but, trust me when I say, you do need this. You can’t escape for forever.”
Clara pursed her lips. She was fairly sure that, despite his resolve, she could get him to drop his defenses if she tried hard enough. But he was right. She ran away from her problems all too often. It was what had led to her having an affair with Dante, her neighbor’s husband. It hadn’t ended well, and the last thing she wanted to do was turn Cooper into an escape from her problems.
She sighed, disappointed, and stepped away from him. He took her hand as he walked her back to the camp, but Clara wouldn’t speak to him. She understood, but that didn’t mean she wasn’t hurt, even though she knew that hadn’t been his intention.
As they went to sleep, he wrapped his arms around her, and she reminded herself that Cooper was a blessing – she knew he’d done the right thing. Snuggling into him, she managed to sleep.
Chapter Eight
Clara woke up hungry yet again, and made a promise to herself that she wouldn’t stop until they’d found somewhere hospitable and a good meal.
Easier said than done, but they needed it. If she was this hungry, so was everybody else. Clara didn’t know how long she could go on, which meant some of the others were probably on the verge of giving up.
But we can't, not just yet.
Not when they were so close. She still remembered seeing the break through the trees and the houses on the other side, and the feeling that came with it. It was all a lot farther than it looked, she knew, but she didn’t mind. Buildings meant people, and while “people” would mean possible danger, it could also mean food.
With how low their stocks were, Clara was going to have to pass on breakfast, or take only a few nibbles, enough to keep her going, and hope that they could find something to eat when they got out of the trees.
The children had looked more or less okay when they went to sleep last night, and Clara hoped they could hold out just a little longer. She couldn’t promise anything, but even if it meant putting her l
ife on the line, she was going to think up a way to get them something to eat. Knocking on doors might be the only option left to them, and, if it came to that, Clara would do it personally. They all needed to get fed, but the kids… they probably needed it more than some of the adults because their growing bodies burned calories way faster, and they needed more energy.
She remembered carrying the girl on her back, and how she’d just slumped onto Clara like she had no energy left. Clara didn’t know much about growing children, but she did know it was a bad sign that they were so listless. They didn’t need the children getting sick because there wasn’t enough food. Clara was pretty sure it could prove fatal, especially for the youngest, Michelle and Dante’s little girls.
We have to get a move on, she told herself. The faster we get somewhere, the better.
“Clara?”
Cooper’s voice brought her out of her musings. And only then did she feel the heavy weight around her and realize Cooper still had his arms around her. No wonder she was having so much trouble moving; the extra weight wasn’t exactly helping, and she must have woken him up.
She turned around and came face to face with Cooper’s chest, then looked up at him. The events of last night were still fresh in her mind, but now she was picking on something bigger to worry about. Remembering him pushing her away still hurt… but she decided to put it aside for the time being. They could have a real talk when they got the time.
“What are you doing up?” he muttered. “It’s still early.”
“But it isn’t dark anymore,” Clara pointed out.
Not too dark, anyway, even though the light coming through their tents was a little dull. It just meant the sun didn’t touch the spot where they sat, but it was early morning and that was good enough for Clara.
“Come on, Cooper,” she whispered. “Let go. We need to start moving soon.”
He sighed, his arm only tightening around her waist. “Those houses aren’t going anywhere, though. And… we probably need to come up with a plan…”