by Max Lockwood
His voice got lower as he spoke, and finally trailed off. Clara sighed and pushed against his chest. He frowned, his arm tightening a little around her, before letting her go. She got away from him quickly, her face feeling a little warm. She moved too quickly, because when she rose up, she was instantly dizzy, and toppled back to her knees. She closed her eyes, brought her hands to her head, and pulled her knees up, resting her head between them.
She spent a few moments breathing, holding back the sick feeling in her stomach. When the urge to vomit went away, she slowly opened her eyes and raised her head. Cooper was awake, sitting up and silently watching her with a frown.
“Clara,” he said her name again.
Only, this time was different. She could tell he was fully awake now, and the disapproval in his voice was prominent. Clara just rolled her eyes.
“Can I count on you again to take care of my sister?” she asked bluntly.
He almost looked offended. “Clara, of course I’m still taking care of Tessa. Why would you even ask that?”
She just shrugged. “Good, then,” she said simply, and went to leave the tent.
“Clara,” he called her, his voice growing darker.
“Please don’t argue with me, Cooper.” He wanted her to be strong, to not escape—she was going to do exactly that. Even though a part of her felt a vindictive satisfaction at the annoyed look on his face when she refused to listen to him. “Take care of Tess, and everything will be fine. I don’t know how far away we are, but I do know we’re close to a human settlement.”
“Do we have a plan?” he asked, sounding resigned.
Clara sent a dark smirk at him. “Nope,” she said cheekily, and left quickly before he could ask more.
There was a muffled sound from behind her, but he didn’t approach her, and Clara let the smile fall off her face.
She did have something resembling a plan, but she knew it wasn’t one he would be okay with. Clara planned to head the excursion, like the last time. It anything came at them, she would be at the front. She would hold back the enemy while the others got away.
Maybe it won’t come to that, she thought hopefully.
Clara kind of missed when people would talk things through, in a sane fashion, instead of resorting to guns. But she wouldn’t be able to carry one of the kids this time, because, along with her pack, she was going to wear her gun slung over her shoulder. They had distributed the guns between those of them that could use them, which was most of the adults. Clara had left Cooper to carry hers, because he’d offered, and she didn’t mind not having it on, if he was the one it was going to.
But with this, they would all need to go on unarmed. Well, the people that wouldn’t be carrying the kids, at least. Though she had a feeling Dante would carry both, anyway. She was pretty sure he walked the same way the whole time, actually, with his five-year-old daughter strapped to his back, and his gun in his arms.
If only that worked on the older children, but even if it did, Clara still wouldn’t have done it. If she was going to stand between them and suspicious people that didn’t like, or have much need for, strangers, then she wasn’t going to have anything important on her.
She was a little worried about what was to come, but made herself have a little faith. They were going to do something risky, but they just had to try. Almost anything would be better than what they’d been subjected to, death being one of the things that didn’t count. No matter how painful, Clara planned to fight to the very end.
She woke up the rest of the camp, because she didn’t see much reason to delay. They couldn’t waste time just hanging around.
“We’re going to have a good day,” she said, encouraging them.
Their high spirits from the night before hadn't died, exactly, but Clara thought they were acting more cautious with their optimism. They didn’t want to get disappointed, because it must have dawned on them, after sleeping on it, that seeing houses didn’t necessarily mean something good for them. It simply meant they would be out in the open again, where other people could find and hurt them.
It was the reality they lived with now.
Clara could see their nervousness as they all got up and started moving around. She could tell who was more stressed, because, instead of sitting still and waiting for food, they were already working on taking down the tents and packing stuff away. Cooper was among them, of course, because he was an even bigger worrywart than she was. Tessa, who still looked kind of exhausted, had moved her sleeping bag out of the tent, and was lying down again. But Clara was close enough to see her eyelids fluttering, so Clara knew it wasn’t a very restful sleep.
They had a quick meal before packing everything up. They divided the bags, most people taking their own stuff, but she did notice most of the people carrying guns in their arms took the least to carry for easier movement. She hoped that was for the sake of the group, and not for running away. She noted Dante did as she’d thought he would, and she almost smiled as he put Abigail on his back and strapped her there, then walked around with her on his back and his gun in one hand before they were done taking down their camp.
As they walked, Michelle, carrying her youngest daughter, strapped with blankets to her front, sidled up to Clara, who was at the front. Clara shot a glance her way to show she had her attention.
“When do you think we’ll find a place?” she asked, her voice sounding a little nervous.
Clara gave her an apologetic smile. “I wish I could give you a direct answer, but that would be lying. I don’t know myself, but I hope… there’ll be something soon. There isn’t anything in these woods, we’ve looked all over, but once we’re out, it will be easier.”
Her hands tightened on the straps of her bag on one side, and her gun on the other shoulder. She wasn’t sure that was true, though. Food would be easier to spot, if there was any around to spot without resorting to going to people’s houses.
“I’m worried for my kids, especially the baby. I know… I haven’t been the best mom to them, but they are my children, and I want them to be okay, Clara.”
Clara looked at her with sympathy. She didn’t have children of her own, but she did care for Michelle’s, and now felt responsible for the four of them, along with several adults, so she understood. It must have been even worse on Michelle, because Clara knew she felt a little guilty for not being there for her children before, only having the time after the EMP attack when she couldn’t put her work first.
Clara just admired that she had been able to get past so many hurdles, and most of them through her own power. Dante had told Clara Michelle had some trouble looking after the children in the beginning, yet she still sent Dante away and took care of them alone, and nothing major happened. She was also surprisingly ruthless when it came to her family, something Clara could relate to, and she was an unexpectedly good shot with a gun. Clara had been surprised she even owned a gun in the first place.
She had to remember she wasn’t the only one that had seemingly changed after the attack. Before, Michelle worked at a hair salon that she owned, had a book club meeting nearly every week, and spent most of her time gossiping about the “hottest new” in town, and sometimes spread it to Clara when their paths crossed in the mornings.
Michelle seemingly had such a carefree life. It was why, as ashamed as she was of it now, a part of her hadn't minded her affair with the other woman’s husband so much. Clara hadn't particularly liked Michelle, because, to her, it seemed like she struggled too much when the other woman seemed to struggle so little.
Well, it took a while, but she had been proven wrong. Her feelings of remorse and guilt for what she did to Michelle aside, Clara could honestly say she was more than just impressed that Michelle could handle herself and several things at once, she held a respect for the other woman that wasn’t likely to die soon.
She wasn’t sure if their relationship was repaired enough yet to mention it, but that was how Clara felt.
“You weren�
��t always there for your family, Michelle,” she started slowly, because she just had to say something. “But you definitely were when it counted. Dante can see it, I can see it. Your improved relationship with Abigail proves it.”
They both cracked a smile. Not that long ago, little Abigail kept running from her mom, either going to her dad or to Clara, because she didn’t know her own mom that well. Now, Abigail cried out to be carried by her mother if she felt her dad had been carrying her too long and her baby sister was hogging their mother.
“I will swear it to you now, Michelle. I promise that the children will be first priority when we arrive wherever we’re going, if I have to see to it personally,” she said seriously.
The other woman gave her such a look of gratitude and relief that Clara almost wanted to look away. But she met the gaze head on with a nod, then looked away when Michelle did, pretending she hadn't noticed the shine in the older woman’s gaze.
She chewed on her lip, doubts assaulting her. She would ask those with children to stay toward the back, just in case, so it would be easier for them to get away. Dante might be a problem when it came to that, but he would probably listen to Michelle. The potential for danger was too great, and at least the children had to be saved, so the adults with guns would be at the forefront. She clenched her hand around the strap of the gun slung over her shoulder.
Hopefully, even if they did run into trouble, it wouldn’t be the kind that didn’t mind hurting children. She watched Michelle bounce her baby in her arms as she fussed, and vowed to herself that she would protect them like they were her own. She might not know the youngest as well as she did their five-year-old daughter, whom she’d been babysitting for years, but she was still a child. Alice’s kids, too, even though they were both much older.
Somehow, things just had to work out.
They came out of the forest area, finally, and found stretches of cornfields. They all stopped and stared for a moment, most of them with jaws dropped. When had any of them ever seen so much food in one place? The corn stalks were so tall that, as close to them as they were, they couldn’t even see the houses beyond them.
Clara was elated, more than ever. This was the first time they’d come across food in several days, and with the food rationing they were doing, they were all hungry.
“Let’s all pick some and get our strength up,” Clara suggested. They could even carry some, in case they had to go further, but there was only so much they could fit in with their luggage.
However, as they went to pick some of the vegetables, a man with a gun crept towards them through the corn. Clara heard him before she saw him, though the others must have been too excited to pay much attention. She held her hand up sharply, stopping them in their tracks, then swung her gun around so she held it in both hands, but aimed at the ground.
He didn’t seem to have a problem with aiming his gun right at them, and Clara practically heard everyone behind her freeze. Thankfully, she didn’t hear any rustling that meant someone was reaching for their weapon. They all had rifles, like her, though a couple had shotguns, and there were some handguns scattered among them, but they were nowhere near as handy. In full view of the man, he could easily take it as their being hostile, and he would likely shoot before giving a warning. There was a standoff where none of them moved, then his eyes met Clara’s and held, probably because she was the one in the lead.
“What is your business here?” he asked gruffly.
Clara felt hope stir in her chest. While he was pointing a gun at them, and she didn’t doubt for a second that he could shoot them, he didn’t look hostile like the people from the last town. His gaze was blank, but he wasn’t outright glaring, and Clara thought he would at least hear them out.
“We’re sorry to be trespassing, sir,” she said, and licked her lips, her heart beating fast in her chest in excitement. She explained, “We’ve been walking through these woods, and we’re all hungry and tired, and are hoping to find a place to stay. We don’t mean to trouble you.”
She caught her breath in her throat, holding back the words that wanted to spill. Clara would have gladly gone down on her knees and begged, and she didn’t doubt the others behind her would do much the same thing.
He didn’t say anything for a while, and his eyes went back to looking over their group. He noticed they were all holding weapons.
“Are you all handy with those weapons of yours, or are you just carrying them around?”
Clara said, “We’ve had some experience, since the EMP strike happened.”
She wasn’t sure if that was true for all of them, but definitely for most of them. Just like her, some of the people currently behind her probably hadn’t held a gun before in their lives, until they had to.
There was another short silence, before the man lowered his gun slightly, his stance relaxing. He aimed at the ground, like she did.
“You can stay with me, if you help out on the farm and guard my crops,” he finally said.
It took Clara a second for the words to register, and her eyes widened, before they were stinging with tears of relief she wouldn’t let fall. Instead, she took several steps forward, letting go of her gun so it hung off her shoulder again, and watched as the man switched his gun to one hand, anticipating what she was doing.
“We have a deal,” she said, and he fully lowered the gun so they could shake hands.
“My name’s Jack. All of you, follow me and I’ll take you up to the house,” he invited.
Clara was pretty sure she felt the collective relief as they all followed.
Chapter Nine
Jack and Clara stood in front of his house, looking out at his farmland.
Her heart still hadn't settled. The situation was so surreal, when she thought of where they had been not moments before. In spite of her hope, and trying to bring everyone else’s spirits up, the doubts had nearly done her in.
The moment she set her eyes on the food, all she could think was that they were saved. She had been so happy to have food right in front of them, because she’d been glad that the people behind her hadn't followed her for no good reason. They got food out of it!
But, in that moment, they had been wide open, and she hadn't been paying enough attention. Sure, she had been the one to hear and see Jack first when he approached them, but… what if it had been too late?
She knew now that he hadn’t had the intention of harming them, if they didn’t try to harm him, as well. He was a lonely old man, with a lot of food and space for just one person that he couldn’t even completely protect on his own. Yet he had not only tried, but succeeded, on his own for a while before they came.
At the time, though, there had been no way to know that. Clara got careless, and if he had been any other kind of person, a few of them might have died before he bothered to hear them out. She didn’t know who to thank for the man’s kindness, and if it was God, then she would gladly do so. Because this… with this, all their worries weren’t gone, but most of them were, the important ones.
Clara could have cried, and she didn’t even fully know what was holding her back.
“So,” Jack finally said. “How long have you all been out on your own? No offense, young lady, but you do not look well.”
Clara laughed, only it was a weak, breathy thing, and her breath hitched in her throat halfway, cutting it off.
When was the last time someone called her “young lady”? She remembered her own grandmother calling her that sometimes, when Clara was being difficult, but that had been ages ago, long before Clara was the breadwinner of the family. Thinking of her grandmother brought a sting of tears to her eyes, and she felt Viola would have liked to know Jack.
Oh, grandma, she thought. I wish you could have been here.
Clara could even picture it, but there was no way, even had she been alive, her grandmother could have fared well on the trip they’d had. Clara would have been sure to leave her to guard their cars with Tessa, and if she’d received a b
low to the head…
Well. No use thinking about it. Her grandmother was already gone. Clara was supposed to learn to let go and heal, after all, not start having delusions.
“Can you believe I don’t really know?” she finally answered. Her voice low. “It feels like a long time… and I got to sleep through most of it while we traveled by car, but… it couldn’t have been more than a couple of weeks,” she said, surprising herself with the low number.
It was less than a week with the cars, she thought. Then the days they’d spent stranded, beside a working car with a flat tire, her sister injured. Then the day and a half walking through the woods…
“You’re not from around here, huh,” he muttered, and nodded. “I figured you weren’t. But how did you end up all the way out here?”
Clara smiled wryly. “That… is quite a long story,” she said softly, sucking in a quiet breath.
“Painful one?” he guessed.
Clara took a moment, then nodded slowly. “Yeah, you could say that.”
She didn’t think she would ever get over that, not for a while. Especially now that things had settled for them. It was bad of her, but Clara hoped the ones who’d stranded them met with some misfortune, or at least part of them regretted what they’d done. But no, really, regret wasn’t worth much if it didn’t come with a lot of pain. Even if they’d struggled with the decision, they still ran and left Clara and her group to suffer, so she had zero sympathy for them.
There was no way for her to find out their fate, they were probably in another state already with how long they’d been gone, if all the fuel they had even got them that far. And, though she hated to think they were living in luxury, she liked to think they hadn't let the food that had belonged to her family go to much waste.
She could think that now, allow that small mercy, because she had a feeling, with Jack’s help—and he seemed very open to sharing—their starvation problem would be gone for quite a while.
“Anyway,” she continued, “we decided to walk through the forest, because we thought it was safer than using the road, just in case. Our numbers are reduced, but not badly. We walked most of the day yesterday, we barely had any food left and the children were all growing so weak… we were lucky to find your farm.”